Chapter 3
All through the next few months Skye managed to sneak me out of the doll room and I guess some things have changed. I mean after all before Skye I wouldn't have even been aware that it had been a full season, or who long that actually was in terms of what time I was missing.
It takes quite a bit of work to turn a girl into a doll after all. Bleached skin, shrunken bones and muscles, purposely weak eyes. The never-ending surgeries leave me dazed, disoriented, even unconscious for days on end. I'm still a doll, I know I am, it's my description of 'doll' that has changed. Person and doll, alive and dead, these can exist at the same time. At least in the capitol they can.
Skye tells me every day that I have a choice. All I have to do is break the rules like she did, like Celeste and Aurora did without knowing, and she'll stop treating me like a doll. She will also stop loving me. I don't think Skye really realizes just how dangerous that loss of love would be to all of us. Mother may be mad and horrible but she still holds all the cards.
Yes that is another change, I no longer call her Mommy, she's Mother now just like she is to Skye. I know Mother knows what it means but I continue to be a doll so she won't do anything to try and make me stop. She won't do more then she has already done.
At first I thought it was my new found awareness but Skye made sure I wasn't mistaken. My surgeries have increased in number and are becoming more and more drastic. I don't have to eat anymore. I can barely move with my arms and legs are so void of fat. I'm week and spend more time asleep then awake. My only time reference is the growing twins who Skye tries to get me to see as much as possible.
On the best days Skye manages to get us into a classroom setting. I love this not only because of what she teaches but because I get to spend time with the twins. Mother never bothers to tell them apart and I can tell even Skye has trouble with it sometimes but the difference between them is clear to me.
Celeste loves to talk, she repeats everything Skye teaches us back perfectly and you can tell from her wide eyed gaze that she's always listening. She also idolizes Skye to the point that she will attempt to follow her out of the nursery and around the house. Aurora is full of energy, but shy. She is constantly fidgeting and walking around but will pass off a question to Celeste even if Celeste doesn't know the answer and she does. The two are very close to one another though and seem more in tune with the others emotions then their own.
Today we sit in a semi-circle around Skye, our usual classroom setting. She had little bits of paper stuck to the wall that she writes on, usually what we're learning that day. I've learned to read in the past months, another change, Skye says I'm very good at it for my age and that my vocabulary is above average too. I say I must be because I'm only a few months old.
She's confused so I have to explain to her that since I don't know my really birthday or even how old I really am I've decided that that day she first took me from the doll room is my birthday.
Skye starts trying to figure out when my real birthday is and that's when she tells me something I couldn't believe. She's been doing this for a while now but it's the first time in approximately a month that I've been so surprised by one of her truths.
I'm older then the twins but there's no way I'm older then two. Before my 'birthday' I don't have enough memories to string together a week at the most. When I question her about it she shocks me even more. I'm five, maybe six. That's impossible but she's already going on about how we should assume that that day was my sixth birthday and move on from there.
I'm still a perfect doll though so I don't let her see how frightening I find this information.
She begins our lessons but I interrupt her.
"Then how old are you?" I ask.
After all if I'm older then the twins there's no way I can trust how anyone appears anymore.
"I'm twelve" she answers before continuing on with our lesson "what's significant about turning twelve in the districts Aurora?"
"Um..." Aurora pauses just long enough for Celeste to jump in.
"It's the age district children are eligible to be reaped" responds Celeste.
"That's right so if I we lived in the districts there would be a chance that you would be forced to watch me die just so the people here can have something to stare at"
"You would be victor" says Aurora in a barely audible whisper.
"I would not Aurora because The Games have no true victors, not the unfortunate souls that are ripped from their families, not the families forced to watch every gruelling moment, not even us here in the capitol. We bath ourselves in the blood of children every year and we think it good fun. When we go to watch the Reaping later today I want you to imagine that it's me being pulled onto that stage. That you're in the audience in one of those poor districts watching your sister being torn away from you! Then you'll understand how much fun these games really are."
All three of us respond at the same time.
"I will Skye" says Celeste.
"I don't find them fun" says Aurora.
"The Reaping's today" I gasp.
