Hey guys, new chapter up. Remember to leave a review because I always love to hear from you guys, especially on a new story. Enjoy! :)
Blaine sat in his office for the next hour. Overall, he just felt... confused. Having an attraction to other men was not something he had ever been taught about, not by his parents or his teachers, and he didn't know what to think. On the one hand, well, it definitely wouldn't be accepted. Most people didn't even know what homosexuality was, let alone approve of it, and Blaine didn't think they would approve. In a society that blanched at the sight of a woman's ankles and condemned sex before marriage Blaine didn't think they would tolerate love between two men, especially considering the law against sodomy.
But what was Blaine thinking? He had already vowed to himself that he wouldn't get involved with Kurt and he intended to keep that promise. He couldn't be thinking about kissing him, or stroking his cheek, or pushing him up against his wall and sucking purple bruises onto his pale neck-
Blaine shook his head, glancing around as though to check for mind readers in the room. His heart rate was slightly raised from the vivid fantasies and he closed his eyes briefly, breathing deeply to expel the lust in his veins. He'd never felt like this before and he wondered how long it would take for his self control to return.
"B-Blaine?" A timid voice sounded from the doorway and Blaine looked up to see Kurt clinging to the doorjamb as he poked his head into the room.
"Kurt!" Blaine's voice sounded slightly strangled so he cleared his throat. "Come in."
Kurt stepped carefully into the room and Blaine's breath caught in his lungs. Kurt's hair was now soft and damp, resting lightly on his forehead. His eyes were bright and there was a pink tinge to his cheeks leftover from the heat of the bath water. Blaine's eyes travelled down before he could stop them and he couldn't help but enjoy the sight of Kurt dressed in one of his shirts and an old pair of his trousers that were just a little too long. Kurt looked like a proper English gentleman and suddenly seemed so much closer to Blaine's reality. He was no longer an almost imaginary figure prowling the gardens, or an alien boy dropped into his world, but a man who would fit right in with Blaine's life.
"You look, um... clean." Blaine struggled to find a word that was complementary but not flirtatious, and frowned down at his desk, mentally cursing his lack of tact. He was shocked when Kurt laughed, a bell-like sound that resonated in his ears and filled him with a strange warmth.
"Yeah, that's the first bath I've had in a while." Kurt's grin became softer. "It was nice." He murmured, gaze meeting Blaine's.
The air in the room seemed to thicken the longer they looked at each other, until Blaine realised it was not exactly customary to stare at one's guests as if seeing the sun for the first time.
"So, I see Mrs Marks found you something to wear." Blaine began conversationally. " I'll arrange for her and Quinn to take you to the market tomorrow so you can find something that fits."
Kurt's smile dropped. "Oh you don't have to do that. You've already offered me a place to stay, I can't take anymore from you."
"It's no bother Kurt. Besides, we don't want nosy neighbours asking questions, so you'll have to look the part." Blaine smiled as he watched Kurt clearly struggling for an argument, grinning wider when Kurt nodded his head in defeat.
"Now, we've got a whole afternoon to fill, and I was thinking maybe you'd like to start working on your reading?"
Kurt's face lit up at the suggestion and he clasped his hands together as though trying to contain his excitement.
"Why don't you choose something? The one's over there are my favourites." Blaine gestured to a row of books near the window as he stood, crossing the room to close the door as Kurt pulled out book after book, reading the backs and replacing a few, though he kept most of them, forming a pile at his feet.
"If you think you can read all of those today then I don't think you need any help." Blaine joked, taking a step closer to Kurt to see the book he was holding.
Kurt stiffened slightly as he felt Blaine hovering beside him and Blaine's heart sunk a little. He was obviously uncomfortable with the proximity.
Blaine cleared his throat and took a step back, under the pretence of examining the next shelf of books. He heard Kurt let out a breath next to him and he tried to quash the disappointment bubbling in his chest.
"Can we start with this one?" Kurt turned to him holding out a worn copy of Tom Jones by Henry Fielding.
"Ah, good choice." Blaine smiled as he thought of the content of the book, funny yet witty.
Kurt dithered for a moment, unsure as to where they would be sitting and, ignoring his screaming instincts, Blaine led them to the small love seat under the window.
He realised his mistake as Kurt sat primly next to him. Seated like this it would be all too easy for him to accidentally-on-purpose brush against Kurt or knock his hand, and the temptation was so strong. Taking a moment to gather his will power, he turned to Kurt and couldn't help but smile to see him flipping through the pages of the book, skimming over the words to gather a feel for the book. Blaine relaxed, forgetting about all the ways he could ruin everything and letting himself be enchanted by the way Kurt turned to him with expectant eyes.
"How about if you read through it and I'll help you when you get stuck?" Blaine suggested, thinking about how nice it would be to spend his whole afternoon listening to Kurt's voice.
"O-okay. But I'm kind of slow." Kurt mumbled, turning slowly back to the first page and staring down at the words as if they would bite him.
"Speed doesn't matter Kurt, nor does getting the words right really. It's about the emotions, getting across the feelings and meanings behind the words. That's what literature is really about."
Kurt seemed consoled by Blaine's words and he began to read. His voice was cautious and tentative, his back still ramrod straight, but he gradually relaxed into it, encouraged by Blaine's support.
His posture slumped as he was absorbed by the words, his legs crossing as he got more comfortable. Blaine listened patiently by his side, putting in words of advice when Kurt got stuck (which was quite often), head resting against the windowsill as he watched Kurt's lips form the printed words. His soft voice filled the room and Blaine wished he could carry the sound with him forever. It was soothing and continuous without being dull, punctuated by short peals of laughter as Kurt delighted in the humour of the book.
It seemed like no time at all had passed when Blaine realised an orange glow was filling the room, and turned to find a setting sun.
"I think we'd better stop for the night." Blaine spoke when Kurt paused for breath. "You're doing so well though."
It was true. Kurt had come on in leaps and bounds in such a short amount of time. He was recognising words before Blaine had to step in, and although he still had a ways to go, the improvement was obvious.
"Thank you." Kurt smiled shyly as they both stood, and handed the book to Blaine. Their fingers brushed briefly as the book changed hands, and Blaine felt a flash of heat burn his fingertips where they connected.
"I'll erm, show you to your room." Blaine coughed, laying the book on his desk as he passed it.
They made their way out of the study and Blaine led them down the hall to the guest room, stopping outside the door like any gentleman should.
"This is it." He gestured to the closed door. "I'll have Quinn come up in ten minutes to see if you need anything." He turned to leave but a hand on his arm held him back.
"Thank you Blaine." Kurt's eyes burned with sincerity. "I don't know why you're helping me but I'm truly grateful that you are. You really are the kindest person I've ever met."
The hand on his arm squeezed briefly and Kurt seemed to be battling with a decision. But then the hand was gone and Kurt was closing the door behind himself.
The next day Blaine spent a few hours in his office, organising and gathering all the books he wanted Kurt to read and clearing space on the shelves for them. When Kurt returned from the Market the whole house seemed a little brighter, and he laughed as Kurt demanded he see all the things they had bought. Although Blaine wasn't all that interested in the latest fashions, he could have watched Kurt try on clothes forever. Each outfit accentuated a different feature, this shirt making his skin glow, that scarf bringing out the colour in his eyes. Kurt was enchanting and Blaine was properly enthralled. And when Kurt appeared in a tight black waistcoat over a crisp white shirt, Blaine's breath froze in his chest.
For the rest of the weekend Blaine and Kurt continued through the large list of books waiting for them in the study whenever they had free time. Of course Blaine had to go back to work come Monday so he instructed Wes to ensure Kurt wanted for nothing. Turns out he needn't have bothered asking.
Kurt sat carefully on the loveseat in Blaine's study, wandering what on earth he was going to do with himself now that Blaine wasn't here. He thought perhaps maybe he could continue with the current book he was reading (he was getting quite good) but something in him knew Blaine would be disappointed if he continued the story without him.
It was amazing how quickly he was coming to know Blaine, his small mannerisms and preferences. He just wished he didn't have those urges that meant he had to constantly watch himself. He knew such a respectable man as Blaine wouldn't have such sinful and repulsive impulses, but he couldn't help but dream.
He knew what he was and had long ago accepted that his dreams would never come true, it was just the way his life was supposed to be. But now he had something he knew he really wanted and he wasn't sure how to go about accepting that Blaine would never want him back. In Kurt's darkest moments he had once indulged and imagined his ideal man. He would be kind and handsome and treat Kurt like an equal. He wouldn't scorn him for the feelings he couldn't control, he would reciprocate them. He would love Kurt and make him feel special. And, although Kurt felt shallow for admitting it, it would be really nice if he had a bit of money.
And now here was Blaine, all those things and more, and although he didn't know about Kurt's 'condition', something in Kurt thought he wouldn't be one to judge him for it. But Blaine was also very straight, he was married for God's sake, and Kurt, above all, didn't want to ruin the life of this man who had helped him so.
With this in mind, Kurt decided it was about time he introduced himself to Mrs Anderson, got to know the woman Blaine loved, not with malicious intent, but merely to be friendly and not be exclusively a friend of Blaine's.
He found her in the luxurious front room (he still couldn't believe he was staying in such a marvellous house) and approached her quietly, not wanting to disturb her, but she looked up at the sound of his footsteps.
"Oh hello Kurt, dear." She smiled calmly gesturing to the other chairs in the room. "Why don't you take a seat, I've barely seen you since you arrived."
"Thanks." Kurt murmured, sitting quickly in the nearest chair. He was shocked by how welcoming she seemed. Most, no, all the women he had known, bar his mother, had been foreboding and bossy, but Beth was quiet and calm and didn't look at Kurt like he was just in the way.
"So how are you enjoying your stay?" Beth enquired, gesturing gently to Wes who was hovering in the corner. He left briskly.
"Erm, yeah it's great. Blaine's been teaching me to read and the shops are amazing."
Beth smiled brightly, clearing some papers off an end table as Wes returned with a tray of tea. He began to pour but Beth stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Thank you Wes, I'll pour it." She smiled at him as well. It seemed she had a smile for everyone. "I was sorry to hear about your father, Kurt. Do you think you will be able to resolve your problems?"
"Erm, I guess." Kurt muttered, accepting the cup she offered him. "He's pretty mad at me."
"What happened, if you don't mind my asking?"
"He erm..." Kurt scrambled in his head for any excuse that was vague enough that he wouldn't raise suspicion. "I mean I er... I refused to go... hunting with him. Yeah, he's been really into hunting recently but I hate seeing those poor animals die." He mentally cursed himself as he realised how sissy he sounded but Beth seemed to buy it, her eyes lighting up.
"Oh you poor boy! I can't stand the thought of those cute little animals being chased and killed." She shuddered delicately. "I'm so glad Blaine's never been one for hunting. We went out to the country last summer to visit my cousin and he spent almost the whole trip in the library. He point blank refused to go out with the other men to hunt."
For reasons he didn't quite know, Kurt's stomach squirmed pleasantly at the new information. He really didn't like hunting and it made his chest warm to think that Blaine shared that opinion.
"You're very lucky to have him." He murmured, hoping she took the comment at face value and didn't dig deeper.
"I know." She said, gazing dreamily out the front window.
They sat for a moment in silence, Kurt wondering where her thoughts had taken her and trying to ignore the slightly awkward air.
"Anyway," she shook her head as if to bring herself back to the present, "You must be feeling a bit bored. You're welcome to ask Wes to take you into town any time you know, or is there anything I can do for you?"
Kurt glanced around the living room, eyes settling on the basket of knitting next to Beth's chair. One of his few memories left of his mother was her sitting in a chair by the fire sewing up the holes in his father's slacks. He decided to take a leap of faith, Beth didn't seem like one to judge.
"This may seem unconventional but... do you think you could teach me to sew?" Kurt met her gaze briefly, relaxing when he saw nothing but mild surprise in her gaze.
"You know, it doesn't shock me that you and Blaine are related. You're very similar. But I'm sorry, I don't know how to sew. I can, however teach you to knit."
They shared a smile before Beth reached down, pulling out fresh needles and a ball of green yarn and passing them to Kurt. Grabbing her own when she had set him up with the wool on the needles.
And so it continued. Blaine would leave for work every morning, kissing Beth on the cheek and squeezing Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt and Beth would spend the day knitting and getting to know each other. Kurt avoided topics such as his 'uncle' or his childhood, but he enjoyed getting to know Beth, the woman Blaine had married, someone he obviously cared greatly about. And when Blaine returned home in the evenings he and Kurt would retreat to Blaine's study to continue with their latest book, now taking it in turns to read as Kurt got better and better.
During the second month of Kurt's stay, Blaine was presented with a unique offer. The bank had recently opened an account with a rich land owner, and someone was required to go out to the country house where he lived to close the deal. Blaine was certain he was still too junior to be presented with such an opportunity, but it seemed his father had pulled some strings, and, one drizzly Thursday, he was presented with three tickets for the new steam train that ran between the city and the countryside.
"I heard tell that your cousin is in town and thought he might like to join you and your wife." His boss explained. "You have a lot of promise Blaine, you'll go far."
With that he had turned and stalked off, barking orders at the men around him and leaving Blaine to grapple with his sense of undeserving.
When he had told Kurt and Beth about the trip both had been understandably excited, though the former seemed a little confused at first by the invitation. It had taken Blaine a moment or two to realise that he had been staring at Kurt, enjoying the way his eyes lit up with anticipation, when he should have been thinking the same things about his wife. But he couldn't help but be entranced by the pure exhilaration in Kurt's expression and wonder if the young man had ever had a holiday before.
That weekend, Wes called them a carriage and they were driven to the new station on the edge of the city. It wasn't long till they were seated in their own private compartment. Blaine was thoroughly impressed. The seats were plush, set in benches perpendicular to the walls, around tables laid with white linens and centre pieces.
There was a small bar in the corner, well stocked with various wines and snacks, and everything was embellished with dark wood and rich purple fabrics. Even the windows were framed with deep plum velvet.
Blaine smiled as he watched Kurt settle opposite him next to the window, eyes trailing appreciatively over Kurt's lithe form as he stretched to press his face against the window. It had taken Blaine a full five minutes this morning to stop staring. Quinn had helped Kurt dress and his clothing only accentuated his best assets.
His waistcoat was light beige with dark round buttons and drawn over a white shirt, the sleeves of which Kurt had rolled to his elbows. His pale trousers were tight to his thighs, cutting of just bellow his knees where they met tall brown riding boots. It made it hard for Blaine to focus on Beth beside himself.
"There are so many people here." Kurt murmured, briefly dragging his eyes off the bustling crowds out on the platform to glance at Blaine.
"Well trains are all the rage at the moment." Blaine explained, looking between Kurt and Beth, who slid her hand onto his thigh with a fond smile. He stiffened slightly before continuing. "My father said that the train has become the most popular mode of transport for those who can afford it. And I can see why." He rubbed a hand sub-consciously across the soft table cloth, smiling at Kurt when their gazes met.
"I think this is a marvellous way to travel." Beth intoned, gently squeezing Blaine's leg before getting to her feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I really must visit the ladies room."
With a quick smile at them both she moved across the carriage and disappeared through a door at the end.
"I see you're excited about the trip." Blaine spoke as the door shut behind Beth. "Anyone would think you'd never seen the countryside before!"
"I haven't." Kurt frowned at the table and Blaine mentally kicked himself. Of course Kurt hadn't seen the countryside! He'd been living on the streets since he'd... well, Blaine didn't actually know how Kurt had ended up on the streets. Curiosity burned within him, but he held his tongue, sensing it might be a sensitive subject for Kurt. Fortunately, Kurt supplied the information willingly.
"I've never had the chance." He looked up at Blaine and the conflict was clear on his face. Did he trust Blaine enough to share with him the secrets of his past?
"My mother died when I was very young. I don't remember her that well anymore but I know she loved me." Kurt's brow was furrowed as he stared at his hands twisting the edge of the table cloth into creases. "My dad just couldn't cope with work and taking care of me so they sent me to an orphanage."
Blaine didn't ask who 'they' were. He almost didn't want to know.
"The orphanage was okay, nothing fancy. They fed me and clothed me and I had somewhere to sleep at night." Kurt paused to stare out the window, a slight blush sweeping across his cheeks that Blaine didn't understand.
"What happened?" Blaine couldn't hold the words back but his tone was gentle and encouraging and Kurt seemed unfazed by his curiosity, turning back to face him with a heavy sigh.
"They threw me out. I er... stole some food and they just threw me onto the streets." Kurt was frowning again, his face still directed at Blaine through he seemed to be looking right through him. "And I've been surviving on the streets ever since. It's not some big exciting story, not like the ones in your books, but it's pretty much all I have now."
Kurt's eyes focused again as he finished speaking, his hands releasing the table cloth and settling on its white surface. Blaine was taken aback at how much Kurt had lived through, how much he had survived, and was glad that he could provide some long needed respite.
"Our pasts make us who we are Kurt. They're all we have in the end, all we have to show for our lives. Thank you for sharing yours with me, I'm honoured." Blaine stretched his hand across the table towards Kurt's. Their fingers brushed lightly, Blaine studying Kurt's expression for any signs of discomfort. He was encouraged when Kurt didn't pull back and briefly clasped Kurt's fingers in his own, just wanting to offer whatever small comfort he could. Kurt stared at their joined hands, and Blaine hoped the expression he was seeing was one of comfort and not mild horror.
"You know I'm here for you Kurt, if you ever need to talk about anything I'll always make time to listen to you."
They smiled at each other across the table, the atmosphere thickening a little as the moments passed. Blaine let his eyes rove slightly, appreciating the way the sunlight falling through the window caught each soft strand of Kurt's hair and gave his skin an almost-glow.
The sound of the compartment door opening made them both jump, Blaine hurrying to pull his hand back and smiling slightly guiltily at Beth as she crossed the small room and took her place next to him again.
Kurt was quiet as the train pulled out from the station. Blaine thought he seemed a little down and they had to repeat themselves several times to get his attention. It made him worry that he had done something wrong by pushing Kurt to tell him his story, even though Kurt offered the information first.
Gradually the dreary grey scenery rushing past the window turned more and more green, and with the increase of vegetation came Kurt's returning excitement.
Once again Blaine could enjoy watching Kurt stare with rapture at the world slowly developing outside the window, a world so different from the one they knew back home. This world was fresh and bright, empty and endless, it made Blaine feel so free to be away from the restraints of his city life.
He had only visited the countryside twice, once on business and once with Beth, but it always made him feel as if he could really breathe.
Eventually they reached their destination, a small station on the outskirts of an even smaller village. Blaine couldn't keep the smile off his face as they waited for their carriage to be loaded up, standing in the air that was chill despite the bright autumn sun. Kurt was practically vibrating with excitement by his side, asking if they could visit this shop or take that country path. It almost physically hurt Blaine to deny him, but they were due to arrive at the manor house at midday and they only just about had enough time to travel there.
The house itself was beautiful. A huge redbrick affair that towered over sweeping gardens that were still in full bloom, despite the season having finished long ago. Kurt actually squealed when he saw it, making Blaine laugh out loud, and was out of the carriage the moment it stopped, side-stepping a shocked looking footman and rushing over to stand before the house, arms hovering slightly away from his body as he looked up at the building they would be staying in for the weekend.
"It's huge!" He whispered conspiratorially to Blaine as they were led inside by a hassled looking housekeeper. She led them through a wide lobby and up some stairs, turning left and taking them down a short corridor. She stopped before a pair of dark wood double doors, turning to face them.
"The Master would like to see Mr Anderson in his study. If Mrs Anderson and Mr Hummel would like to follow me I will show you to your rooms and then the parlour."
With that she turned and bustled off down the hall in the direction that they had come, not even stopping to check that they were following.
"I'll find you later." Blaine muttered to Beth and Kurt as they hurried to catch up with the housekeeper.
Taking a deep breath, Blaine tried not to think about how important this meeting could be for his career, before knocking on the door and entering.
