Could I? Should I?
Deus Ex Procella
Summary: Dai's girlfriend has recently committed suicide. Now he's sitting alone in her room, contemplating killing himself to be with her.
Dai sat alone in the empty apartment building, knowing that he shouldn't be there. But for the love of God he couldn't leave, he couldn't take his eyes from the now spotless corner of the room where she'd been before. He couldn't forget the look of absolute misery and hopelessness that he'd seen in her eyes the day he found her. Most of all, he couldn't forget her. He laid back on her bed, covering his face with both hands.
Devon Starling, she was gone now. That fucking bastard had finally pushed her too far. Dai had seen it all along, for the whole three years he'd known her, three years they'd shared music and dreams. Three years they had shared victory and defeat. Three years that he had loved her with all of his heart, trying desperately to make up for the love she'd never had. He had never liked her father from the moment he met the man, and knowing the hell he'd put his daughter through, he had grown to hate the prick with every facet of his being.
Dai sat up, only to slouch forward and bow his head low, tears no longer threatening to fall but falling like rain. She was gone all because of that horrible man. In three years, Dai had heard all of the horror he'd been to her. The beatings and abuse, the rape and the words. All of it came out when she was with him and he had tried so much to soothe her heart and keep her together. Try as he might, even he hadn't been able to save her.
Dai stood up and walked over to the corner of the room, kneeling down and lightly rubbing his hand on the wall. In a flash he remembered how just days ago the floor was turned red with blood and her eyes stared up at him from this very position, lifeless and hopeless. He choked on a sob and fell to his knees, slumping over and resting his head against the wall. The slits on her wrists had been so hazardous and sketchy, he couldn't imagine what a state she had to be in when she had done it.
"Devon…I can't…" He stood up and walked around the room in a panic, his mind racing and his heart beating. His head was pounding and he could swear a Russian parade was taking place just by his eardrums. Devon was gone. The person he'd devoted three years of his life trying to save, the person he'd poured his love into, the friend he couldn't live without, the lover he'd never be able to replace was dead and gone, all because he hadn't been able to wash away her pain. He had been able to wipe away her tears, but he hadn't been able to mend the tears in her heart.
"I can't do this…not without her…I can't keep this up…" Dai looked at the window, shaking his head as he stared at the bustling city street almost eight stories below. He went to the window and stiffly pushed it open, staring down at the street with a haunted look in his eyes.
"What am I still doing? What's…what's the point in going on? She's gone…I completely failed her, even after I promised…I promised to make everything better," Dai took a few steps back, rubbing his arms. No one knew where he was, he hadn't left a note and he hadn't told anyone he was leaving. No one would be able to stop him, no one would try to stop him.
"Devon I…" He stared at the open window, imagining how the shards of glass would feel biting into his skin, how the wind would feel against his face and finally how so suddenly, all of his pain would be gone. How suddenly he would be with her again. He fell to the ground, sobbing. Even now, he wasn't strong enough.
