Black Dragon41's Fic:
Summary: Grimmjow and Ulquiorra have a new mission from Aizen, to deliver an important letter to Yamamoto in the Soul Society. And they are not going alone.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Aizen, Wonderwiess, Nnoitra, Lupi, or Yammy. And if you think otherwise then I am entitled to cero your face off.
"A letter to the Soul Society! Are you insane? That's practically suicide! And all for a letter, this is pointless." He waves the letter around in his hand. "To save you trouble you could of sent Gin or Tousen, they would at least know where to go and how to avoid conflict."
"Are you telling me that you are weak and incapable of such an easy task?" Aizen pointed out. "If this is the case then I'll have to send out the rest without you, and Ulquiorra will have to become the leader."
"What? Not him!" He pointed at Ulquiorra.
"Well… you're telling me that you'd rather not take on my mission."
"I have the letter and I'll deliver the damn thing. Happy?"
"Much. Gin let the rest of the squad in please."
"Okay." He walks over to the large doors and swings them open, the first to walk in was Wonderwiess. Grimmjow turns around to see, and is shocked.
"What? Not him, please not that brainless retard?" Wonderwiess becomes furious at the sexta's words.
"And just who are you implying as a insufficient and sub average cognitive functioning child? That is prejudice! Retardation is a diagnostic term designed to capture and standardize a group of disconnected categories of mental functioning such as moron and imbecile. 'Your simple name calling' is pejorative and shameful connotations from over the last few decades due to the use of 'retarded' as an insult."
"What in the hell are you talking about?" He was becoming greatly confused.
"Intellectual disability resides with in your conscious, you are not capable to above-average cognitive ability." He sticks his tongue out at Grimmjow.
"Okay, now this is weird. I should be way smarter than him."
"But you are not."
"Shut up Wonder-wuss!" The next to walk into the room was Lupi.
"What in the hell! He's supposed to be dead!"
"Well I'm not now am I, and since you are failing missions that means that I could probably take your position as the sixth espa…?" Grimmjow without hesitation, forms a cero in his hand and blows Lupi's head clean off. The rest of the body falls to the floor.
"Now who else is coming on this pointless trip?" Yammy walks through the door silently giggling like a school girl.
"You killed Lupi… again? It's much more funnier when you get outsmarted… by a tiny retard." Once again Wonderwiess was outraged.
"You should be the one to talk, your brain capacity is like that of a dinosaur. Your lack of intelligence is dropping my IQ as you speak, someone of your stature has bronze but lacks in the brains department. I give pity the outstandingly deficient, such as yourself."
"Really?" He giggled. Wonderwiess only sighs.
"I am getting a sense that Grimmjow is very displeasing with the squad thus far Aizen, he doesn't seem to take a liking to us. That's just disrespectful." Ulquiorra suggested.
"I hate all of you! Especially now that all of you are Fucked up." The next espada walks through the doors, with a big smile on his face. "And speaking of the hated, is that damn Nnoitra coming too? This sucks!"
"Hello my friends, this is going to be the best mission ever." He throws his arms into the air and hugs Grimmjow.
"Get off me!" He shoves Nnoitra off himself. "What in the hell is your problem?"
"Well…? I hated being a big asshole, so I decided to become everyone's best friend and spread the love. I have also gave up my disgusting potty mouth and now I am so happy."
"Stay away from me or I'll break that happy face of yours. Damn spoon."
"That wasn't very nice Grimmjow, he only wanted to be your friend." Said Ulquiorra. Nnoitra runs over and hugs him.
"Thanks for standing up for me, that was so nice!"
"Why your welcome."
"I think I am going to be sick." He hides his face with his hand.
"Better… get the … bucket." Yammy giggles in between the words.
"Aizen. Please tell me that this is all, I don't think I can handle any more screws?"
"They are the only ones who are going to accompany you on this trip, Grimmjow. Now about the mission, get the letter to Yamamoto. Think you can handle it?" He takes a sip from his tea.
"Of course, if our men are screwed over this bad then I wonder how the shinigami of the Soul Society would be like. This will probably be the easiest mission ever, I'd could just ask them to let me in and deliver the letter, and then they can politely cut us up into pieces and deliver our remains back to you." He said sarcastically.
"Then deliver it, and do not open it. It is very private, I had better not hear that you broke the seal or the blame goes to the both of you and there will be consequences. Are we clear?" They both reply.
"Yes my lord!"
"Weather we like it or not, we will still deliver the package Aizen. It seems that some of us, I am referring to Grimmjow, will do the job even if it kills him."
"Ulquiorra, you don't even know if they have gone insane like us…, well not me anyway."
"Only one way to find out, now to the Soul Society with you all of you. I have more important tasks to attend to." Aizen rose from his chair and jumped down. "Oh.! One more thing. If you fail me then don't return, I have no need for useless soldiers in my army." He then walks through the doors with Gin.
"So Aizen, why are you not sending Stark, Harribel, or Barragan? They are much more stronger than the squad that you have put together." Questioned Gin.
"Yeah, like I would send off my three strongest for such a simple task. I can always have the rest replaced." He smiled wickedly.
"Well…? What about the Szayel, Aaroniero, and Zommari, they make up the bottom of the list?"
"They do, but the weaker half of the arrancar are also the smartest. It's harder to replace brains with bronze these days, I know I had made the right choice."
"Okay I understand that now. But what about Wonderwiess, he seems to have become intelligent just like you had predicted."
"Trust me they'll need brains for this mission."
"Good one!" Gin replied. Tousen comes out of his room and walks up to them.
"Why didn't you let me go on that mission? I could of done it in no time flat!" Tousen was very pissed. He had heard from a flirting Harribel, that a new mission was out and he was not among the party.
"Tousen, the only reason why you are not going on this mission is because of your unquenchable thirst for unjustified blood. I can't have you killing off the enemy just yet, I already have a plan to deal with them later. I am so sorry that you can't go on this one, but maybe next time."
"Fine, but next mission, I will get blood. Weather it is from the enemy or from our own." He stomps off through the hall way.
"Wow, someone is in a grumpy mood today." Gin stated.
"Likely."
"So, Aizen. Can I go shopping now? Please?"
"Not yet. There's too much to worry about."
"Awww, I just want to go to the mall." He said sadly.
"Later."
________________________________________________________________________________
Grimmjow sighed heavily, looking at his small dysfunctional squad. Nnoitra raises his hand in the air, waving it to ask a question.
"What do you want?" He said angrily.
"So… Are we going to make some friends on this trip? I would like to ask them to join on my facebook friend list."
"If we run into any 'Friends', then we'll have to kill them. That is if you and the rest of you don't screw up and get us killed first. And by the way, you can add them to the 'dead list' instead."
"Awww…"
"Can we resolve conflict with a little socialization? It would be a lot faster and we will not have to fight. It's a perfect plan, wouldn't you say." Ulquiorra spoke up.
"No! I didn't get to fight at all on the last mission. Besides, I am forced to go with all of you, and I know that boredom and insanity is a guarantee."
"Grimmjow is sparring all you ever foreboded about? Culling fights with many imputents, will only certain our demise, it takes strategy. Once again, you are not so sharp in the cerebellum membrane."
"Wonder-wuss, I am leading this group so shut up!"
"What a disappointment for such a superior forerunner. It is clear that Ulquiorra should be the one to bulge us since his position of Aizen's squadron is at a higher standard then us. In fact I am questioning anyone's leadership potential, other than myself. I should be the legitimate dignitary."
"Aizen probably appointed me because he has noting better to do other than torture me, why else would he group me up with all of you and then tell me to go on an nearly impossible mission cause I have a squad of nonviolent losers! We'll most likely be jumped by forty or fifty shinigami and beat to death, I don't even know why I am doing this! Damn! Life is a bitch!"
"It's called pride, and Aizen hates you." Wonderwiess replied back.
"He… hates… you? That's… hilarious!" Yammy jumped into the conversation.
"All of you are imbeciles! I demand you to take full control over this… squad."
"I don't want to be violent against our new friends. Friends shouldn't fight!"
"They are not our friends!"
"Then what are they Grimmjow?"
"Enemies, you damn spoon!"
"The way that you are associating us, is like we are your foes."
"Sometimes like now, I can't even get you to listen to me." Ulquiorra just stands in the midst of the fight on the brink of an outrage.
"I think that… you are taking this… too seriously…" His giggling is more girly now.
"Out of it Yam…."
"Please! Everyone just be quiet for a moment!!!" Ulquiorra snapped. Everyone shuts up and stares at the green-eyed espada. He only scratches the back of his head, and stares at the ground sadly. "Sorry guys, I am having coffee withdrawals."
"Look, I don't care if Aizen hates me or if I am not that good of a leader. I was given an order and so I will lead as proposed. Now, is there any more questions before we leave?" And just as Grimmjow predicted, Nnoitra raises his hand in the air.
"Umm, can you use less cuss words, its making me sad."
"What kind of question is that? No one is stopping my mouth, cussing relieves some of my anger."
"Sorry Grimmjow, but it only makes the situation more worse than what it is in now." Ulquiorra just stands there jittering from the lack of his decaff coffee.
"Fine! Any other questions?" The spoon raises his hand up again.
"When are we leaving?"
Grimmjow turns around for a few seconds trying to calm down. "We were supposed to leave about ten minutes ago, but some of you can't stop bringing up ridiculous facts. So no more talking lets just go already, if anyone else interrupts me will get the same treatment as Lupi, Okay?"
He opens a gate and begins to walk through, Ulquiorra, followed by Wonderwiess, Nnoitra, then Yammy. Yammy somehow manages to trip and dominoes the rest of the squad, and Grimmjow is plowed under the other espada. He manages to pull himself out.
"Life is a Blitch!…. Wait… I mean Bitch! Damn you all!"
A/N: Thank-you Lamekirby and gagboy for the reviews. Please Review, and thank you for reading. !
