Ways to Annoy, Confuse, or Scare Richard Woolsey
1. Ask him if you can rub his head for luck.
2. Tell him you stole his teddy bear.
3. Ask him to hold the baby till you get back;
4. Never come back.
5. Ask him to change the baby's diaper.
6. Get him stuck in a transporter.
7. Get him transported to a deserted part of the city. Forget him there;
8. When he tries to contact help, tell him you're busy and ask him to leave a message after the beep.
9. Make sure the power goes out; ask him if you can use his head for a light bulb.
10. Get him a bottle of Mr. Fur for Christmas.
11. Send him to a Hairless Anonymous meeting.
12. Tell him Steve has a crush on him.
13. Tell him Oberoth has a crush on him.
14. Put a sign that says kick me on his back.
15. Leave a newspaper add on his desk, that says: hope for the hairless.
16. Give him a bottle of dog food and tell him it's an Ancient cure for baldness;
17. Bring a pack of dogs to Atlantis and have them follow him around.
18. Light a match and put it on his head;
19. When he screams and asks you what you're doing, smile proudly and say: where there's pain, there's life.
20. Hit him on the head with a newspaper repeatedly, saying mosquito.
21. Give him a bottle of hair growing formula. Say bottoms up. Freak out when he drinks it and say it goes on his head.
22. Steal his glasses;
23. Tell him Sheppard did it;
24. Sit on his glasses, and let him know you found them.
25. Make him go to the mainland to get some tan. Put a reflector by his head after he dozes off.
26. Feed him to Steve.
27. Ask Teyla and Ronon to hit his head with a poll. Tell them that's how Earthlings play pool.
28. Write all your reports in ancient. When he complains about it, tell him Elizabeth could read it.
29. Send him balloons with ears for Christmas.
30. Lock him in a room with Koracen.
31. Tell him to be proud of his hairline, no matter where it may wonder across his head.
32. Ask him to turn around so you can check your make up.
33. Shoot a drone down his pants.
34. Make him wear a cape and call him the human flashlight.
35. Walk up to him and say: full moon tonight.
36. Get a wraith drunk and make it ask Woolsey to marry it.
37. Ask him if he, Caldwell and Ellis have the same barber.
38. Yell after him in a motherly voice "don't forget to change your underwear, dear".
39. Offer to read his future in his head;
40. If he lets you, predict his approaching demise.
Yeah, I know, I was mean. Nothing personal, I just feel the need to torture anyone who sits in Elizabeth's chair. evil grin
