CHAPTER 3

I climbed up the wall of the fortress, away from my window. I hadn't scaled a building for a while, and I was getting rusty. Unacceptable; I needed to hone my skills.

So I did. Hand over hand, as light as mist, I ascended. I passed several windows, and I couldn't help but glance in them as I went by. Many rooms were empty, but some held the sleeping forms of the soldiers in the Survey Corps. To think, just two days ago it had been my job to kill people in their sleep. If I was still under the order of The Thorn of the Rose, a good chuck of these people could be dead by my hand.

I shook that thought away and lifted my face to the breeze. Tonight, for a few hours, I could pretend I was free again. No Thorn of the Rose, no Scout Regiment, no stupid Captain Levi...

"What do you think you're doing?"

Instinctively, I lashed out a hand at the owner of the voice. Captain Levi grabbed my wrist and yanked me through the window. I landed hard on my back, wheezing. I was getting really sick of getting the crap beaten out of me. I glowered at the Captain.

"I expect an answer, soldier," he said, "What were you doing?"

"Well, I was enjoying myself for once," I stood up, muscles aching, "What are you doing?" Levi scoffed in return, but didn't bother to reprimand me for my disrespect. I gave him a closer look. He seemed tired. Or it could be that the dark circles under his eyes were a fashion statement, though I seriously doubted it.

We stared at each other for a few awkward minutes. I began to fidget uneasily. Another downside to my training: I wasn't supposed to be seen, and prolonged eye contact tended to freak me out.

"Can I...help you?" I asked uncomfortably. Levi raised his eyebrows (I think), and scoffed again.

"You're in my room," he pointed out. I felt my face flush.

"Yeah, well, you pulled me in!" I retorted, my hand clenching into a fist. Oh, I wanted to hit him so bad.

"Why were you climbing the building?" he asked. I scowled.

"Because I needed the practice," I answered, "And I needed to get away from inside for a while. It's too stuffy in there."

"You know," Levi walked over to his bed and sat down, "For someone who worked for a secret organization, you give away a lot of information." He reached to his bedside table and grabbed a teacup that had been sitting there. There were still a few tendrils of steam curling out of it, so it couldn't've been sitting there for very long.

"What do you mean by that?" I countered defensively. Levi took a sip of his tea, and set the cup back down.

"Well, first off," he began, "You told everyone in court about The Thorn of the Rose without hesitation. Then, you spoke with Armin about your past, and just now, you told me that you dislike being inside for long periods of time."

"What?" I scrunched up my forehead, "I never said that!"

"If you'll recall, you said, 'I needed to get away from inside for a while. It's too stuffy in there,'" Levi fixed me with his bored expression, "The fortress itself is vast, and the room you were assigned isn't a small one. Not to mention, it is rather cool temperature wise. Therefore, I can gather that you don't enjoy being confined to one space for very long, especially when surrounded by walls." He crossed one leg over the other and took another sip of tea, "It'll only be a matter of time before the very walls that protect us from the titans become but a nuisance to you."

I sat in shocked silence. One offhand sentence could give away all that? It was true that I much preferred to be outside, but I had never considered it as a dislike for being cooped up. I looked down at my hands. I would need to be more aware of what I said from now on.

"I'm curious," Levi said, snapping me out of my thoughts, "Why did you tell everyone about your little group of friends?"

I scowled.

"They aren't my friends," I said irritably, "They were my employers, and I held little loyalty to them. Besides: I would've been killed either way, so it doesn't matter much to me," I looked at Levi. His expression hadn't changed, but he seemed almost upset somehow.

"Did I say the wrong thing?" I asked.

"You say you hold no loyalty to them?" he verified. I nodded, and he gave me a piercing glare.

"If you ever betray me or my men, I will kill you without blinking," he said coldly. I felt ice shoot down my spine and through my veins, and instictively I reached for my knife, only remembering that I didn't have it when I grasped empty space.

Levi must've noticed my gesture, because he almost smirked.

"Missing your weapon?" he asked smugly. I made a face. What business of his was it if I was? I could probably find another one I could hide on me without anyone knowing. Who would be laughing then, huh?

"Here," Levi took a sheathed dagger off of his belt and handed it to me hilt first. I took it, bewildered.

"You're suspicious of me," I said, "but you're arming me? I'm confused." I slid the dagger out of it's leather sheath, admiring the blade. It was black, and made of fine steel. The handle was black as well, and the grip rested comfortably in my hand.

"It's gorgeous," I breathed, running my finger lightly along the edge. It was sharp, too, "Why give it to me?"

"I need you at your best," Levi replied, "And right now you seem most at ease with a blade in your hand." I nodded, irritated. He knew way too much about me.

"You'll begin training with with the ODM gear tomorrow," Levi said. He stood up and began to shove me towards the window, "Early. You'd better get some sleep. Go."

I backed out of the window, confused. He had seemed to relax for a moment when we had been talking, but in a heartbeat he had returned to his usual brusque manner.

"Y-yeah, okay," I said, "Right. Bye." I dropped out onto the wall and climbed down back to my room, where I lay in my bed, willing myself to sleep. It was far past midnight, so I should've been tired, but I couldn't even yawn.

I'm probably just nervous about the training tomorrow, I told myself, I don't know how intense it's going to be, or exactly what I'm going to need to do, for that matter.

All I knew about using the ODM gear was that it required a certain amount of flying through the air. As neat as that sounded, flying usually involves falling, which I was not at all fond of. The sensation of my stomach colliding with my brain was not one I enjoyed in the slightest, and I tried to avoid falling whenever possible.

I rolled over in my bed and, feeling hot, kicked off my blanket. A few seconds later, I was cold, and I pulled it back on again. Hot once more, I began to stick my feet out in an attempt to get the temperature just right. One foot out, I rolled over again. Nothing seemed to be comfortable! I tried laying on my side, on my back, on my belly, and putting my hands in various positions and places. Nothing worked. Frustrated, I stood up and took to pacing furiously, trying to wear myself out so I could sleep.

"I can't DO THIS!" I yelled, punching the wall. I pulled my fist away and shook it, scattering drops of blood all over the floor.

Maybe if I hit it hard enough I'll break my hand, I thought, And I won't need to go through that ODM training! I beamed at myself. Absolute genius! But another thought struck me, killing my good mood.

There's no way Captain Levi would let me off the hook just because of a broken hand, especially if he found out I did it to myself. Especially if there was a way to work the gear with one. I don't think there is, but I'm sure he'd find a way.

"That's dumb," I muttered, "Screw him and his high-and-mighty attitude." I kicked the broom I had left propped against the wall and snapped it in half. Sighing, I threw the pieces out the window and into the yard bellow, listening to the cracking noise as they hit the ground. After a few minutes of waiting for nothing, I grumbled and got into bed. Finally, this time, I fell asleep without much of an issue.

" Ready? Raise her!" I felt my body lift off of the ground as the wires hooked to my harness pulled taut. I dangled in the air, body perfectly balanced. I hadn't been expecting this, though I suppose I should've. The ODM gear was strapped onto the body using bands that wrapped around almost the entire body, with the focus right around the hips and pelvis. Therefore, one needed to know how to keep themselves upright before attempting to soar through the air using one.

"She's as good at that as you, Mikasa," I heard Armin whisper. I sniffed to myself. Obviously I was good at it. Balance was something I excelled at. I needed it in just about everything I did, from fighting and climbing to simply walking across a roof. But, of course, I didn't say anything.

After I had held myself up for a full minute, they slowly lowered me back down again. Once my feet were firmly on the ground, Armin ran up to me.

"Well done!" he praised, "You caught on pretty quickly! When we were going though this as cadets, Eren had a lot of trouble keeping his head off of the ground, and he was almost kicked out of training! But, turns out his equipment was faulty, and he stayed up just fine with gear that worked properly!"
"Huh," I grunted, pulling my harness off, "Yeah, that'll do it. There's a saying I've heard: "a weapon is only as good as it's wielder." As someone who used to fight on a regular basis, I strongly disagree. If I am fighting an opponent, and we both use knives, but my enemy's knife is stronger than mine and mine breaks in the middle of combat, I will loose. Not because I'm not good enough, but because my equipment failed me."

Armin nodded thoughtfully. The kid was smart, but he wasn't a natural warrior, so he likely wouldn't see through my tale, at least not right away. The truth was, I could probably still win the fight, even if my knife did break, because that was how I was trained. But I said what I did for the sake of conversation, and it seemed to work just fine.

"Next we'll be using the actual gear," the kid said, "It isn't hard, and your reflexes seem pretty fine-tuned, so you should be good on that front. And we'll be right around you to help if you need anything! Hey, are you okay?"

I noticed that I had been shaking, and my skin was cold. I probably looked pale, too. I shook my head to clear it.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a quiver out of my voice, "I'm perfectly fine. So!" I took a deep breath, "When do we start?"

"Right away," an arrogant voice sounded. I looked over to see a man with dusty hair and a pinched face looking at me from the horse he was sitting on, "Mount, and we'll get you over there."

I grabbed the horse I had been assigned and the squadron began to ride over to a more wooded area. The pinch-faced man was on my left.

"Now, don't go thinking that you're better than us just because you're a trained assassin," he sneered, "We're the best of the best, hand-picked by Captain Levi. We're not scared of you."

"I was too," I pointed out, "And no one said that you were scared of me, though, to be honest, I wouldn't care if you were. The fear of others is of no interest to me."

"Whatever," the man made an exaggerated gesture with his head, "You're under our watch now, so you'd better-"

He cut off as his horse hit a small stone in the road, and his teeth snapped down onto his tongue, blood squirting out. I held back a laugh. I already strongly disliked the guy, and it seemed that the universe agreed with me.

Eventually, we halted in a spot covered in trees and dismounted. A cool breeze drifted through the trees, rustling the leaves and bringing the scent of a nearby stream. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the sounds and scents of the outdoors.

"Here you go!" I jumped as Hanji handed me a set of ODM gear. Hesitantly, I took it and strapped myself in, listening intently as a girl named Petra gave me instruction on how to use it. I could feel the sweat start to bead on my neck and forehead. I was not ready for this.

"Ready?" she asked. I nodded, even though my mind screamed NO! Petra smiled.

"Okay: go!"

Before I could talk myself out of it, I pressed the triggers and shot off like a bullet. The air became wind as it rushed past my body, and I felt myself smile. What had I been worried about? This was exhilarating!

I glanced to my left and was pleased to see Armin close by. He grinned and nodded to me, and I replied with a gleeful laugh. Always one for some competition, I tried to go as fast as I could, and pulled ahead of Armin. The trees rushed past us, blurring into streaks of green and brown. I was having the time of my life! Could this be what flying felt like?

But my bliss was short-lived. One of my cables didn't connect with anything, and I felt myself begin to start falling. Ever sense zeroed in on everything, and I could see the ground rushing up at me in terrifying detail.

"Axis!" Levi called out to me, "Axis! Your triggers! Pull your triggers, you dimwit!"

My triggers? I thought numbly, Oh, that's right, those. But my fingers wouldn't move. I willed them to press down, but it seemed like my whole body was frozen. I was completely paralyzed with fear.

I slammed into a tree, and then continued my fall towards the ground. My vision was swimming and my lungs empty. I tried to inhale, but no air came. I was going to suffocate!

I hit the earth, and watched, panicked, as darkness began to creep around the edges of my vision. I was dimly aware of Levi looking down at me, and offering me his hand before everything went black.