I couldn't find it in me to finish my hotcakes, much to Axel's displeasure. Of course I felt a little bad about wasting his munny, so I offered them to him, but he only turned the opposite way, which pissed me off even more. He had no right to act this way to me, considering that he had lied to me about everything going on! I didn't say anything though, because…well, he was right when he said that it was too early for this. Not to mention, I could tell he was about a flame away from pulling out his chakrams on me. Needless to say, we both sat in an uncomfortable silence as he quietly finished his food and I had boredly cut mine up to what looked like hundreds of individual pieces. We stood up to leave, me leading the way down the stairs of the tower, and let me tell you, I could practically feel the pain in my back from the daggers his stare was digging into me. I just wanted to go "home".
We stepped into the Corridor in silence, which undoubtedly made it even more eerie. I never did appreciate walking through these things. As its name suggests, it's all darkness, all around you. It's like the lights went out and you're walking to find a candle or a lighter but you can't see where you're going, so you're cautiously taking small steps to wherever you would keep such things because you're uneased with the idea of what might pop out at you, or what you'll run into. At least…that's how it is for me. Axel seems to have no problem with it, though, because he just strides right along. I know, because I feel him brush past me in the dark, hinting that I was walking too slow in front of him.
Finally, we spot a small light in the midst of the darkness, and we make our wards towards it. As we step into the light and out of the Corridor, I can't help but feel a little upset to be back here. I mean, I ran away, so I had every right to be upset to be here. But I was uncomfortable with the thought of running into someone other than Axel, because, well…shouldn't it have been big news all over the Castle that I had left? I especially wasn't looking forward to seeing Saix, wherever he may be, considering that we had erupted in a bloody battle as I was escaping the place. Of course I'd beaten him, and I'm sure he wasn't too happy about that. Come to think of it…how was I supposed to act all of this out? What, we were just supposed to forget that we fought, that I had left? This whole thing just screamed "awkward".
"Roxas."
Whoa.
I had been rambling to myself for so long that I hadn't realized that Axel was still here. I had been making my way back to my room to sort things out, when I turned around to face him. He was still standing by the Corridor, his eyes looking a bit sympathetic as he sighed. "Yeah?" I asked.
"I'm sorry that I snapped on you earlier, but seriously, watch yourself," he said vaguely, waving a hand to dismiss the Corridor before making his way towards me. He stepped around me, probably making his way back to his room, when he stopped again and jerked his head a little in my direction. "By the way," he said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, "you owe me about twenty bucks." And with that, he turned and disappeared into the darkened hallway exiting the Grey Room, leaving me to kind of laugh to myself. Good old Axel.
I begin heading to my room and I'm hit with this really weird feeling in my gut, like something bad's about to happen. I think it's probably because I'm worried about running into Saix on the way there. Gosh, if I'm only subconsciously pretending to feel all this, being able to actually have emotions must be tough.
I'd just gotten to my room, pausing in front of the door, looking up at the big white "XIII" written above it. I was hesitating for some reason, because well, what if they'd went into my room or something? What if they'd begun moving stuff out and were still in there? That's pretty risky. I bit my lip and slowly leaned in and pressed the side of my head against the cold door, listening carefully. It sounded pretty quiet. Good. But—wait! I hear footsteps!
I pressed my hands to the door and widened my eyes as I tried to listen more closely. Yeah, yeah…those were definitely footsteps! In my room! And they were…they were coming closer! I gasped, immediately removing myself from the door and backing away as quietly as I could, until—
"Yo! Roxas!"
"AH GEEZ!" I screamed, whipping around to see that I had bumped into something, that something being Demyx. Quickly turning my head back to the door, I noticed that no one had come out. So, those footsteps I heard were actually just Demyx walking towards me. Wow. My expression flattened as I looked up at him. "Yeah. Hey."
He waved with a smile, clearly not taking the hint. "Heh. So, sup man? Haven't seen you in like, years, dude."
"You just saw me yesterday…"
"Not the point! Whatever!"
I let out a long sigh and smashed my palm into my face, slowly dragging it down. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody, especially him. No offense to the guy, but he was one to talk your ear off about things you didn't care about. I tried to be polite about the situation, even though I wanted to tell him to get lost. I pulled my hand away from my face and made an uneasy noise, bringing a hand to my hip and looking down awkwardly. "Listen, Demyx, I uh, have some stuff to take care of, so…yeah. I'll see you later."
"Oh," he frowned, rubbing the back of his head before shrugging. "Alright, chill. Catch ya." He turned and walked away, humming some weird tune that I didn't understand. But at least he was gone. Good guy, but geez, he was odd. Oh well. I shrugged it off as I faced the door again, reaching for the handle. I grasped it, inhaled, and opened it quickly—only to find…
…well, nothing. It was just how I left it. That's good. Exhaling, I stepped in and let the door shut itself as I flopped down onto my bed. Usually at this time I would be ready to leave for a mission, but…I didn't know what to do. I hadn't seen Saix in the Grey Room, nor anybody, for that matter. Maybe today was one of those days. Those uh, vacation things. Either way, I wouldn't have been making my way to the Grey Room to find out what my mission was, let's just say.
I had my face buried into my pillow, which caused me to become sort of suffocated after a while. Turning my head to the side, I kind of wondered how I was able to breathe if I didn't have a heart, nor was I supposed to exist. If I were to stop breathing, or if I had let myself suffocate, would nothing happen to me? I wouldn't die, right? If something doesn't exist, it can't die. But then again, there was the Dusks. If I stopped breathing, maybe I'd turn into one. Eesh. Better not take the chance.
…Wait, whoa. What am I even doing?
I left this place! What was I doing just laying around?
I grunted as I pushed myself up, looking around. Well, at least now I had some time to pack what little things I owned, rather than the first time, when I just left everything behind. I backed up off my bed and let out a small stretch before turning to my nightstand, reaching down to open its small drawer. It was mostly empty, except for my diary. I winced. That diary was filled with tons of memories, things that I didn't want to remember…memories of all my times here, of all of Saix's bullshit, all my memories of…her.
…Of her! My gosh, I must've had some sort of memories of her recorded in there!
Eyes widening, I quickly grabbed the book and flipped it open. The page I landed on was absolutely blank. But I didn't understand that. I had used up nearly all of the pages in my diary…
I thumbed through the pages, flipping them this way and that. Blank. All blank. Every memory I had was gone, including the ones about her. I couldn't believe it. I shut my eyes and groaned loudly, throwing the book back into the drawer. It was useless to me now.
Turning away from my nightstand, I brought a hand to my face, much like how I did when I was with Demyx. I stood there in the middle of my room, wallowing in what Xigbar would've called "self pity". I remained that way for a few minutes before I opened my eyes in between the fingers pressed to my face, eyeing the rest of my room. The only thing left was my closet, really, which I know was only filled with dark robes. But, well, maybe there was something deep in there I hadn't seen yet.
I pulled it open and lo and behold, about twenty individual robes stared me in the face. Great. Scowling, I reached an arm behind one of the robes on the end and shoved them all to one side of my closet so that I could get a better view of what else was in there. I peeked my head in and looked to the side that wasn't infested with robes, but there was nothing there except a row of black Organization pants. Nice. Oh well. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to bring an extra robe, seeing as it was all I had to wear, and I guess an extra pair of pants and shoes wouldn't kill me, either. I grabbed one of each and brought it over to my bed. I laid the robe down on the mattress, letting it hang off the edge, and I set my pants on top of it towards the bottom, and set my boots down at the end of the robe, on the ground, before turning back to my closet to shut it. But, as I stepped away, I heard something shuffle behind me. Maybe the robe had slid off the bed or something.
I shifted back around, ready to grab it off the floor, only to see that it hadn't fallen off. Nothing had. But I now understood what the sound was, because as I turned around, I saw that my robe, pants, and boots were now occupied.
Sitting in their spot was a hooded figure in my clothes. And a familiar one, at that.
I couldn't believe it. I caught my breath in my chest as I gasped, taking a big step back. I was absolutely mortified by what I was staring at, considering that I hadn't been turned away long enough for someone to have entered my room and sat on my bed. But as I stood there, stunned, unable to make words or even move an inch, the figure sat just as still as me. The bottom half of the face was visible to me and I recognized it at once. The small mouth smiled at me from beneath the shadow of the hood.
It was her.
I knew it because that had been the very same smile she had given me when she was first introduced.
At that point, I wanted to say a lot of things, but I just stood there with my mouth open because I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. For one thing, she didn't move at all, and neither did I, which sort of caused me to feel like I was in space. I was trying to absorb everything. I mean, I barely remembered her at all. I didn't even know her name. But I had to say something! Here she was, right there with me, on my bed, smiling at me. This wasn't possible, even in the world of Nobodies. But I had to say something to her. So there I stood, making a few awkward noises in attempt to speak, until I finally was able to push enough air out of my chest to make actual, audible words.
"..Y…you!" was the only thing that escaped from my lips.
But I regretted it.
As soon as I spoke, her form vanished, and the clothes she had been wearing, my clothes, fell into a pile on the bed and floor. I didn't move. I thought maybe if I was still, she would come back. But she didn't. I was still for a while, waiting for her, until a small rattling sound emitted from my nightstand, as if something had fell from within it, or been dropped in. The sudden sound made me jump out of my skin. Hesitating, I slowly made my way to the drawer, finding even my own breathing to be too loud. I had left it open. When I stepped up to it and peered into the drawer, I was astounded, and I immediately wanted to scream.
For lying on top of my diary was now a small shell, the same one that I had found in place of her body when she died.
