Rating: M
Pairing: Beastboy/Terra, Robin/Starfire, future Deadpool/Outlaw
Author's Notes: Hey again. Sorry… but I just couldn't stay away. I left off on a very interesting part. Deadpool, the world's deadliest and most annoying mercenary, becoming a Titan? WTF? How in the world will that work out? But more importantly, how will Wade being there affect the Titans and how they do their job? EXCITING! And the fact that the future comedian Beastboy already likes him is a good sign that those two are going to get into a lot of trouble together. How will the team react to the relationship Deadpool and Slade has? How will Beastboy and Terra get together with a man-child like Wade around all the time? Why am I asking you all these questions? HAHAHAHA! Hope you all enjoy the chapter and leave plenty of reviews. Remember, I accept anonymous reviews. Again, I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 3: Brotherly Love
"You will be expected to do your fair share of chores around here," Robin said, as he and Deadpool walked down the halls of the tower. The team had voted to keep Deadpool, even after he attacked them. Starfire thought he deserved to stay, after they witnessed him rescue the hostages at the bank. Raven voted to send him to prison. She didn't trust him, even though he helped them save those people. Cyborg wasn't sure what to think. While Deadpool attacked them and sliced one of his arms off… he did save innocent lives. After thinking it through, he finally decided to give him another chance. Robin voted no. He said his job was to keep him and his team safe… and he didn't trust someone who nearly killed them all. But since both Beastboy and Terra voted to keep him, Robin and Raven were overruled.
"No prob, Pigeon," Wade replied, juggling three Type 94 8mm Pistols in the air. An annoyed groan escaped Robin's lips as they turned down a corner. He's only been here for ten minutes, and Deadpool already had a nickname for the leader of the Titans. "You know, you REALLY need to lighten up. Four out of your six-person team wanted to keep me and my pretty face. You keep to lay back and puff a joint, like Bob Marley." Robin turned, with a tired frown on his face. "What? You don't need to be a Rastafarian to enjoy God's version of cigarettes. It's all natural, mon." He finished in a Jamaican accent. "Don't worry… about a ting! Every little ting… is gonna be alright!" Now he was beginning to sing. "I woke up dis morning, smiled at da rising sun. Three little birds, perched by my door…" Finally, Robin couldn't take it anymore.
"Will you shut up?" Robin shouted, causing the happy go lucky Deadpool to stop singing. The leader narrowed his eyes at Wade, and a vein was twitching right above his eye. "Listen… I don't trust you. You tried to kill me and my friends just for a magazine subscription," he growled, grabbing the mercenary by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in close. "You'll have to earn my trust. But until then, I'll be keeping my eyes on you. Do I make myself clear?"
"Aye aye, Caption Sparrow. Crystal clear." Wade agreed, nodding his head. "But may I say something before you lead me to my room?" Robin raised a eyebrow, but nodded. "Thanks… Has anyone ever told you that mask makes you look pretty?" Deadpool laughed when instead of one, TWO veins started to throb on Robin's head. Then… Robin pushed Deadpool backwards, causing him to slam against the wall. He slumped down, and watched as Robin walked forward and stopped at Beastboy's room. "Harsh toke, dude." Wade groaned, rubbing the back of his head.
"You'll be sharing Beastboy's room… for now," Robin sighed, as Deadpool began to pick up the three Type 94 Pistols off the ground. "You'll stay here until we build another room for you." After Wade packed the three pistols into his gym bag, he stood up and nodded his head. But Robin's expression didn't change. "If you hurt any of my friends… I swear I'll make you regret it."
With a wide smirk on his face, Deadpool nodded. "Ya mon. Most definitely," he answered, still using the Jamaican accent. "Just rememba what Bob Marley said." He took a breath, and sang. "Don't worry… about a ting! Every little ting… is gonna be alright!" Robin rolled his eyes, turned, and walked down the hall. Snickering, Wade pulled the gym bag onto his shoulder and walked in.
Inside smelled of steamed vegetables, tofu and vegetarian pizza. Dirty clothes littered the floor… socks, boxers, shirts, and everything you could think of. The walls were green, which wasn't surprising. He walked in, to see Beastboy laying on his bed, with his arms behind his head. "Welcome to the lair of Beastboy, dude," Garfield began, leaping from his bed like a frog. "Where tofu and vegetables flourish, and jokes run wild. Population, two!" The teen was obviously excited to have the mercenary as his roommate.
Deadpool chuckled, and shook Beastboy's hand. "Glad to be here, Shrek," he replied, giving Beastboy one of his own nicknames. "Normally, I'd force feed meatloaf to vegetarians, but in this case, I'll let you slide." The two laughed. "But seriously… Your leader needs to lighten up. I told him that he didn't need to be a Rastafarian to enjoy the sweet, munchies inducing taste of Ganja… but right after singing Three Little Birds in my best Jamaican accent, Birdboy flung me against the wall and growled at me." Beastboy shook his head and sighed.
"Easy. I'd go to my room, lock the door, put on some Barry White music and go on the internet for porn." This got another laugh out of Beastboy, who was laying back down on his bed. "No… but seriously, I'd be pissed too. But I have the luxury of quickly losing interest in those sort of things. So… I guess I'd forgive the guy pretty quickly," he sighed, as he walked out the room. And not to his surprise, Beastboy followed him. 'Great… I'm a role model for a green elf.' "Wanna see my toys?" He asked as he reached into his gym bag, and pulled out his Heckler & Koch HK417 sniper rifle.
(MEANWHILE)
"I don't know how you all can trust him." Robin growled, basing back and forth on the roof of the tower. "The man shows up, and starts firing bullets and swinging swords at us. He's a mercenary, guys!" Standing near the door to the roof was Cyborg, Terra, and Starfire… who were all looking down. "A mercenary is basically a hired assassin… someone who kills others for money. He nearly killed all of us, and escaped from our holding cells. He's a danger to everyone around him."
"Like I was when you first met me?" Robin stopped, and turned to see Starfire, who had a sad look on her face. "Wasn't I throwing the cars when you met me? Wasn't I dangerous?" She asked, looking down to one side. It was true… when Starfire arrived at Earth, she was out of control. She fought against the other four when she finally decided to work with them when a bigger threat threatened their lives. ( Remember that episode? ) "Why did you give me a chance, but not Wade?"
Robin didn't answer. He just looked down, huffed, and continued to pace. When nothing else was said for a minute straight, Cyborg cleared his throat and continued. "Come on, dude. Calm down. Why are you and Raven the only ones who won't give him a chance? Sure, the guy does work in a shady occupation. But he says he only kills bad people. He basically does what we do… except for being more serious." Robin laughed sarcastically, but continued to pace.
Terra rolled her eyes and sighed. "Come on, Robin. If he was as evil and deadly as you believe, why didn't he kill us when he had the chance?" Robin turned to the blond girl, with a raised eyebrow. "Seriously. When he took out those robots holding those people hostage, why didn't he kill us too? He had the perfect chance to… but he didn't. What does that say?" Again, Robin didn't say anything. He just continued to pout and pace. So Terra smirked triumphantly. "Exactly. We should ju…"
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Suddenly, the sound of rabid gunfire went off on the other side of the tower. Everyone gasped, dashed to the other side of the tower and looked down. And there, down by the shore was Deadpool and Beastboy, with Deadpool aiming his Heckler & Koch HK417 sniper rifle. 20 feet away from them was a line of empty soda cans. There were 12 cans lined up in a row, but after the shots, all 12 cans were now 30 feet away, all with bullet holes in them. "AWESOME!" Beastboy shouted, as Deadpool put his sniper rifle safety on. Curious, Terra and Starfire took both Robin and Cyborg down to the two.
"That was nothing, Mini-Hulk!" Wade laughed, as he put his Heckler & Koch HK417 back in his bag, and pulled out a Dragunov sniper rifle out. "This Russian made beauty is the Dragunov sniper rifle. It hold ten rounds at a time, and fires 7.62x54mmR bullets up to 1,300 meters away… Go put that there can on the other side of this island, and I'll demonstrate." Beastboy smiled, nodded his head and morphed into a cheetah. With another can in his mouth, the green cat dashed to the other side of island.
Smiling, Deadpool loaded his Dragunov and looked to the others. "What? Me and Shrek are just doing some male bonding. It's normal for guys to get together and shoot shit." Just then, the green cheetah returned and morphed back into Beastboy. "Good boy. Later, I'll find you a Scooby snack." He chuckled, as he put the scope to his eye. "I always imagine the can as being a… Ah screw it. I'm just good at shooting."
BANG!
The shot went off and flew into the distance. A split second later, the sound of metal hitting aluminum was heard, and everyone saw the can go spinning in the air. "Aw… aw! He shoots! HE SCORES! And the crowd goes wild!" Wade cheered, as he did a victory dance. Beastboy and Terra laughed when Deadpool started doing the Egyptian dance, while balancing his Dragunov on his head. "So… I suspect you want to growl, bark, shout, and hiss at me about something, Robbie-Poo?" The mask wearing boy rolled his eyes. "Come on…. I know you wanna! You can't resist complaining!" Robin groaned.
"I'd appreciate it if you practice shooting in a more appropriate location. You were firing in the same direction at the city, and if one of your bullets went off course, it would be VERY bad." He took a deep breath as Deadpool looked behind him, noticing the far beach about ¾ of a mile away from them. "If you want a place to shoot, you can either go to a firing range, or wait while we build our own."
Wade turned back to Robin with a wide grin, which was visible through his thick mask. He then reached out and caught the titan leader in a bear hug. "REALLY? You guys would build me a firing range? For little old me? SWEET!" Deadpool tightened his arms around Robin… who's face was turning light blue from lack of oxygen. "You guys are the best! You make me feel welcomed, much more than Logan or Cable EVER could! I LUV YA!"
Robin gasped and wheezed as he struggled to break Deadpool's hold on him. "D… (GASP) DEADP… (GASP) WADE! LET… (WHEEZE) GO!" Beastboy and Terra laughed and pointed at their leader, while Starfire attended to Robin's aid. Using her superior strength, Starfire pried open the crazy… yet loveable mercenary's arms. Robin gasped for air as he fell to his knees. 'HELL! And I thought Starfire's hugs were painful!' But after catching his breath, the Boy Wonder got back on his feet and straightened himself up. "Yes… well, you're welcome. But it's 11, so it's time for lunch."
Letting out a girlish squeal, Wade started hopping in place and clapped his hands excitedly. "Oh! I'll make lunch! Whatcha want? I know how to cook French, Asian, Cajun, German, Russian, Canadian, and New York-ian food! For starters, I suggest we start with a platter of Pissaladiere and Whisky! We'll get wasted and be fancy at the same time!" He stopped when all he received was awkward stares. "OK…. I'LL get wasted and be fancy…. Babies…. I can also cook Philadelphia Cheese Steak Sandwiches, Kouglof, General Chicken with fried rice, Königsberger Klopse….." Wade went off on listing a humongous selection of exotic foods.
Looking at each other, Robin attempted to get Wade's attention. "Wade…" Robin began in a calm voice. But Deadpool didn't hear him. He simply continued to go down what he knew how to make. So Robin asked again, this time, a little louder. "Wade?" Again, the mercenary-turned-titan didn't hear. So this time, Robin practically screamed at him. "WADE!"
Hearing this, Deadpool turned to his red faced leader with a raised eyebrow. "Damn…. You don't need to shout, dude. Didn't yo mama teach ya it's not nice to interrupt someone who's talking… and psychotic?" Cyborg, Beastboy and Terra silently snickered when Robin massaged his temples.
"Just… just get to the kitchen…. I'm sure Starfire would like to help you." Robin assured, trying to rub his headache away. Standing behind him, the alien girl smiled sweetly and nodded her head.
"Yes. Most certainly, my weapon wielding friend. I am most fortunate to learn how to prepare more earthly cuisine from someone who knows so much about them." Starfire began, walking up to Wade with her hands clasped together. "Would you please teach me in the preparation of this sandwich of Philadelphia? It sounds to be most delicious."
With a small smirk, Deadpool hooked one arm around Starfire's shoulders and let out a laugh. "HAHA! Sure thing, Star. Believe it or not, you're not the first alien I've taught how to cook. And while I forgot which issue it was, I'm pretty sure we made a mean sandwich!" The two began to walk back to the tower when Deadpool turned his head and looked at Robin. "And don't worry, Robbie-poo! I'll teach your girlfriend a thing or two about tenderizing meat!"
Both Robin and Starfire blushed… but neither bothered to say anything. When Deadpool teleported himself and Starfire back into the tower, Robin sighed, reached down and picked up Wade's Dragunov. He inspected the high-powered sniper rifle, before putting on safety. "Dude… Deadpool is awesome!" Beastboy started, taking the Dragunov from Robin. "Even though he's a little crazy, he might be a good addition to the team. Not even Cyborg knows how to cook that many different types of food."
"And he seems friendly enough." Terra added, as her green friend looked though the scope of the Dragunov. "Again… he's crazy, but he's funny crazy."
Robin used his cape to wipe the sweat from his forehead, and sighed again. "Look… I know he seems nice when you get to know him…. But he nearly KILLED us earlier today. You guys can forgive him if you want, but he'll have to do better than cook good food and make me laugh." Cyborg, Beastboy and Terra looked at one another, while Raven remained silent. "I don't believe someone can go from wanting to kill someone to wanting to make them lunch… We can't afford to completely trust him right now." When none of the other titans countered with anything, Robin took back the Dragunov from Beastboy, turned, and led them back into the tower.
(IN THE KITCHEN)
The team entered the kitchen… only to find a weird sight. Inside the now flower covered kitchen was Deadpool, who was chopping up some chicken breasts, and Starfire, who was fixing a salad (For Beastboy). "Moma meya, popa peya, the babies hava d…. Hey guys!" Deadpool was singing, until he saw the others walk in. He flung the diced chicken into a frying pan before taking a drink of Whisky. He wore a regular white apron, with, "Kiss Me, I'm Legally Insane," written on the front.
Deadpool let out a loud belch as he started stirring the chicken in the sizzling oil. "YO! What's up, my peeps! I hope y'all like General Chicken! But it won't be done for at least 30 more minutes, so I suggest you all do something to pass the… Hey, where are Boy Scout and Vampira?" He asked, pulled his mask back down. Beastboy turned around, and saw Robin and Raven sitting in the living room. "Let me guess…. Birds of a feather stick together, right?"
Terra chuckled and scratched her head. "Hehee… seems so." Then she let out a sigh, and continued. "Look… sorry that Robin and Raven aren't exactly trusting right now….. It's just that…"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Deadpool interrupted, knowing what the blond teen was already gonna say. "I tried to kill y'all, and I'm gonna have to prove myself to the flock. And honestly, I don't blame him." The titans looked at one another suspiciously as the mercenary threw in some peppers and spices into the pan. "I'm surprised you guys took such a liking to me so suddenly. But hey, I've made a good amount of friends while assigned to kill them. So I'm kinda used to it." Steam flooded from his frying pan. Then he smiled. "If anyone is hungry, me and Star here made a salad. The chicken won't be done for at least 20 more minutes… so go out and soften up the two birds."
The three smiled, nodded, and went into the kitchen. Wade then turned to Starfire. "You can go too, Sweetheart. Daddy Deadpool can finish and clean up." Starfire looked a little disappointed, since she wanted to study about making earth food. But her frown turned into a smile when Wade finished. "Don't worry…. Tomorrow, I'll teach you how to cook descent breakfast food. Say… Omelets?" The alien girl squealed happily and floated out into the living room with a wide smile on her face. 'Odd girl…' Deadpool thought, taking another swig of Whisky. 'But at least she only uses her strength in hugs.'
( LIVING ROOM, 15 MINUTES LATER )
In the living room, the titans waited on the couch for Deadpool to come out with lunch. Robin and Raven was being quiet… as usual, while Beastboy played with Terra on the Xbox 360, with Cyborg and Starfire watching. The salad was all gone, mainly because everyone else gave Beastboy the whole bowl, seeing as he was the vegetarian there. And feeling himself get hungrier by the minute, Cyborg let out a low groan. "Man, that stuff DP's cooking smells awesome! How much longer?"
Terra looked at the clock for a split second, and went back to playing the game. "About five more minutes. And yeah, it smells… Aw damnit!" Terra's sentence was cut short when her fighter in the game was killed by Beastboy's fighter. She turned to her green friend with an annoyed look, as he started gloating. "You got lucky, BB. I got distracted, that's the ONLY reason you won."
But before Beastboy could come up with a clever comeback, a annoying, high-pitched ring went out throughout the tower. "Incoming message…" Robin sighed, as he leapt to his feet and ran to the controls. He pressed the buttons, and the screen came on over the paused game. "Robin, leader of the Teen Titans here. What's th…" Robin stopped his usual greeting when he saw who was on the screen. It was Slade. "Slade…." Robin growled, as he clenched his hands.
"Greetings Robin… so glad to see you saved those innocent people." Slade started, in his usual deep, menacing voice. The other titans narrowed their eyes at the screen, as the villain continued. "I have to say… the famous Teen Titans using lethal weapons? I'm shocked. I thought you six were too "pure" for such weapons." Slade let out a rough chuckle before proceeding. "Anyway, I just thought I'd check in on my favorite enemies and see how they're doing… And to inform you that I've got something planned for you six."
But before anyone could say anything else, Deadpool kicked open the doors of kitchen and walked in, with his arms full of plates and silverware. "HAHAHAHAHA! Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served! General chicken with fried rice! I hope you all aren't wearing any b…." The mercenary stopped when he saw Slade on the big screen. "YO! Slade! What's up? You still playing with children, I see…. I thought you went to therapy for that..." An awkward silence followed Wade's statement. Everyone looked back and forth from Deadpool and Slade. And to their surprise, they noticed a change in Slade's demeanor. Now his one visible eye was narrowed at Wade… as if he was angered by him being there. "So…? How's it been, Patchy? I haven't heard from ya in about 20 years, and not even a phone call or a letter? Frankly, I'm hurt."
Robin looked at Deadpool with a raised eyebrow, and had his hands on his hips. "Deadpool… How do you know Slade?"
Slade's chuckled evilly, getting the titans attention. "Yes… Please, tell them how you know me… little brother."
To Be Continued…
OOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT! Bombshell! The secret is out! Deadpool is Slade's little brother! How shocking! How will the titans react to this news? Well, I guess you'd just have to wait for the next chapter! AHAHAHAHA! But anyway, how did you like it? Did it have enough of everything you were looking for? Hope so. Please leave plenty of reviews, and sorry this chapter was short. And also, I have a poll opened, so I need some votes. Please check it out when you get the chance. Again, please review! PEACE!
