Crash
I was counting sheep, so I could fall asleep. Only, I never counted animals. I counted hot guys. Zack Efron, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Brad Pitt, Ashton Kutcher, Bill Kaulitz, Jude Law, Gackt, Rain, Gale Harold and so on. All of them jumped over a little fence, with nothing on their bodies, except their underwear. Oh man, now I can fall asleep peacefully. If you don´t know them, google them and start drooling.
Perhaps you wonder why Sasuke Uchiha isn´t on that list. Not even on rank 5.593.496. He is an ass and he was sitting with me in this room. I don´t need to imagine his underwear, I can see it. He was wearing black Calvin Klein boxers. I was pretty sure Ino could see them too. She looked like she was going to faint any minute now. I wish she would stop rubbing her thighs together. I really did not need that image in my head. Back to the hot guys. I fell asleep.
"Sakura..."
Oh yes, they´re calling me. They want me to join them in the whirlpool, or the bed...
"Sakura..."
The voices calling me got louder. You needn´t scream, my sweeties. I´m flying to you...
"Sakura Haruno!"
Something rather uncomfortable was thrown at me, it hit my head and I woke up. My classmates kept on laughing, while my dearest teacher Orochimaru-sensei (fuck I hate him) glared daggers at me. He always threw pieces of chalk at me, when I slept in his lesson. Too bad, that he always forgot the other ones. Shikamaru ALWAYS slept and never got lectured. Hell, Sasuke never even paid attention and was still ignored. Unfair, isn´t it?
"Now we know who you like most, Haruno. I´m sure they are more interesting than my lessons..."
Yeah, he is right, but I didn´t tell him that in the face.
"I´ll be expecting two essays from you tomorrow. One about behaviour in school and the second, why you are supposed to sleep at home and not in class." He turned back to the blackboard and said: "I threw my last piece of chalk at you. Get me some new ones!"
Damn, that snake is a total jerk. I had to get back at him sometime. I got up and left the classroom. Shizune, my aunt´s secretary, gave me some chalk and laughed at me throwing a fit in her office. She knew that Orochimaru and I weren´t exactly best friends. She told me to keep my head up high and just be patient. I would be out of this school in about a year. Hooray! Another year with that shithead. I´m thrilled.
I left the office and took the long way back to the classroom, also I needed to go to the girl´s room. Behind the next corner though, I was stopped. I collided with someone. Someone with a very manly and rock hard chest.
Being Orochimarus favourite student, Sasuke Uchiha just left the classroom without asking permission. He had to go to the bathroom. Also he needed to go out for a second and adjust his pants. He had noticed that his underwear was showing. The girls were practically begging his pants to slide down a little more so they could see his ass. He wasn´t in the mood to show his backside to anyone, so he just left.
He walked slowly and slightly bored through the school corridors. Jesus Christ, what was those girls damn problem? They had seen his ass already, almost all of them, except the ones who had a boyfriend and some other female individuals he did not care about. Hinata Hyuuga hadn´t, because she wasn´t his type and surely she would prefer to see Naruto´s ass. You had to be blind, if you didn´t notice how she stared at him all day. And Sakura Haruno, who had actually dared to be a total bitch to him. She was also coming his way, but he didn´t notice. Someone collided with his chest and fell on the floor. He just stumbled a bit and then looked at the person who seemed to have problems with her eyes.
"Watch where you´re going, buffoon, will you?"
Sasuke could swear that he had no problems with his ears, but he had surely misheard. Someone had called him buffoon and to make it worse, that someone was Sakura Haruno. She raised her head and had an urge to gag. The person she didn´t want to see at all was standing right in front of her.
"Ah, it´s just you, Uchiha. Thanks a lot. Now I need to get back and get more chalk..." Sakura stood up and fixed her cloth, pounding the traces of dust out of them. The chalk had fallen to the floor and broken.
"An apology would be more than welcome...", he said indifferently.
"Why? I already told you, I´m not apologizing to Ino..."
"I mean for now...You crashed into me..."
Sakura just shook her head: "No, YOU crashed into ME! But, hey, I don´t blame you. It must be rather difficult to watch out for people who might come across you, when you are too damn busy strutting around with your nose up in the air..."
Sasuke frowned. She was doing it yet again. Every other girl would have dropped on her knees, kissed his feet and begged for his forgiveness. She didn´t know just WHO she was insulting and certainly she didn´t even care.
"I don´t strut..."
"Believe me, you do..."
Sakura was getting tired of arguing with him. He just kept crossing ways with her. School had started months ago. They never had to talk to each other. Now they seemed to do that on a daily basis, even if they just threw insults at each other. She turned around, trying to ignore him but he wouldn´t let her. Sasuke grabbed her arm and forcefully yanked her around.
"Who do you think you are, bitch?" He asked, clearly pissed of. Damn, he was being insulting. She should run for the hills.
"I see, Ino is rubbing off on you. Fine then, I´m Sakura Haruno, 18 years old, born under the sign of Capricorn and in my free time, I love to do this..."
She pulled free of his hard as steel grip and flipped him the bird.
"You should feel honored. Not just anyone gets to see this one..."
Sakura returned to the secretary´s office to get her chalk, while Sasuke kept standing there, totally flabbergasted and angry at the same time. He felt like hitting something, so he started walking again. That Sakura girl was starting to get on his nerves.
Great, I ran into Sasuke. The day wasn´t getting any better. Orochimaru took his chalk without a word of thanks to me and then said: "You took too long, Haruno. I want another essay, this time about why you shouldn´t come late to classes."
It was sooo damn unfair. Sasuke never again returned to the lesson. Kiba always came late, but they didn´t write essays about it. I was the only one who actually had to do something like that. Perhaps I should tell my aunt to fire him. But then again, my aunt would never do that.
After his lesson, I grabbed my bag, pulled out the three essays, handed them over and left before he could say a single word. You certainly don´t believe I have time to write essays. I wrote them once, about every single topic he could ever want, and then copied them about a hundred times. (Mostly it was about sleeping in class, being late, not doing my homework, the usual...) I even had to write one about paying attention in class. And you know why I had to do that? Because I looked at my watch.
At lunch break, I sat down with Hinata and Gaara at a big table. We weren´t the only ones there, but we were mostly ignored, so duh...
"Did you pull the trick with the copied essays again?", Gaara asked.
"Yep. He is just too damn stupid to actually notice it..."
Talking with Hinata at this precise moment, was a waste of time. She was trying to eat and stare at Naruto at the same time. Of course, food kept falling from her fork and she didn´t notice that little embarrassing fact. She just kept staring adoringly at him, while he was slinging his food as if he hadn´t had a decent meal in weeks. Yeah, he IS cute and all, but why was she so damn obsessed? He didn´t even know she existed. Just like his best friend, he was too busy sleeping with every girl available. He was a womanizer too, but a nice one. He just changed girlfriends every week or so.
While I ate my lunch, Gaaara started flirting with a student from another class. His name was Rock Lee and he was...strange. He and Gai-sensei, also called Gay-sensei by most of his students, but he wasn´t aware of that, looked very much alike. They could be father and son and they even behaved the same way. Gai-sensei loved green jumpsuits. Let´s just say that he looked really...oh god, there isn´t a word to describe the horror I feel when I see his clothes. At least Lee had stopped wearing the one he got from his beloved Sensei. But he did talk about the power of youth all the time. A very annoying trait of that particular teacher as well.
By the way, when I say flirting, I mean that Lee is talking rubbish and Gaara is listening to every single word without ever pulling a face or laughing. It must be sooo nice to be in love with someone. Thank heavens, I hadn´t been for a long time.
Since my friends were very busy, I decided to get some more food. The dessert was particularly tasty today. I got up and took my tray in both hands, however, I saw something flying at me from the corner of my eyes. My reflexes are quite good, so I used the tray as some kind of baseball bat and hit the flying thing. It flew right back to it´s owner. Unfortunately, I didn´t know who the owner was, or who was sitting right next to him or her.
Ino was sitting right next to Sasuke, who was ignoring her and eating his lunch. She had tried to get his attention for a while. After she failed miserably, she started to make plans about how she could pay Sakura back for insulting her. No one even dared to look at her the wrong way. (Not because they were afraid of her, but because no one wanted to listen to her bitching)
"What are we gonna do?" She and Karin had been thinking for about 15 minutes now, but none of them came up with something good. They would never think of something good anyway. Two brains, filled with nothing but straw, were never going to find a way to pay Sakura back, but stay tuned. Next year, there might be good news.
Both of them played with the food on their plates. You could call it alibi-plate. Both were too concerned about their figure to eat anything. If they thought they were going to faint, they ate a little piece of cheese or an apple. Good diet, wasn´t it?
"I don´t know yet...", Karin stated and proceeded to play with her food. Then, a bolt came through her head. She looked at her food and then at Sakura who had finished eating her meal.
"Couldn´t we just...you know?" She put some mashed potatoes on her spoon and pointed towards Sakura.
"Yeah, that´s perfect!" Ino nodded her head vigorously.
Karin aimed for Sakura, but then she wondered how she was going to use her spoon as a missile. After she tried for the longest time, Ino rolled her eyes, took the spoon out of her hand and threw it right at Sakura.
The spoon took another route, but the mashed potatoes kept flying towards her. Neither Ino or Karin had expected the pink haired girls wonderful reflexes.
She used her tray to hit the potatoes right back at them. Right back...at Ino´s shirt and Sasukes face.
Oh. Holy. Shit.
I don´t know what else I could say. The flying thing had been mashed potatoes from today´s lunch and I fired it right at Ino´s Dulce and Banana shirt. No, wait. That brand´s name is Golce and Danana. Hmm, nope. Wrong again. It´s Dolce and Gabanna. Whatever, I don´t give a fuck.
More important was the fact that I didn´t only hit Ino´s shirt but also Sasuke´s very gorgeous face.
Oh god. Did I really just throw mashed potatoes at the most popular guy in school? I should go home and make my last will. I was officially dead now. Picking fights with him was one thing. Throwing things at him another. The only one disturbing the sinister silence, was Ino, who shrieked like a scared child and tried to get those potatoes off her expensive shirt.
I had turned into a pillar of salt, still holding my tray and practically wetting my pants. I swear, I could see smoke coming from Sasukes head. Everyone could feel his wrath. It spread through the room like some strange perfume, deadly and scary. He would kill me for sure.
Ever so slowly, he raised his hands and cleaned the food from his face. I didn´t see him moving at all. The next moment, he had grabbed a hand full of mashed potatoes and thrown it in my direction. I was so shocked and perhaps a little glad that he hadn´t thrown his knife, I didn´t move at all. The food hit my face with a nasty splash and I stumbled. Being alive didn´t matter to me after that. I couldn´t believe it! He had thrown food at me. That little...!
I grabbed the first thing within my reach and threw it right back. He avoided it. Sadly, it hit Naruto. Naruto, being particularly funny, threw something back. It hit Gaara.
I don´t know who it was, but some idiot just had to scream: "FOOD FIGHT!"
Two seconds later every ones food was flying through the room. Girls started screaming and running out of the cafeteria. The boys laughed, yelled and kept throwing things around.
I got a last glimpse of Sasuke before running out with Gaara and Hinata. That deadly glare only could mean one thing. I was so dead. He ran after us but was not able to catch up with us. We hadn´t fled from the fight, but from someone else. Soon, my aunt would arrive in the cafeteria. Trust me, if Anko is a monster, then my aunt is her mother...
The cafeteria looked like a battlefield. Only there wasn´t blood on the walls, but today´s lunch. The students were still throwing everything they got into their already dirty hands. Ino, too afraid of getting hit by more food, hid herself under a table.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?", a woman screamed with all her might.
All students dropped their food instantly and froze on the spot. They looked in total horror at their principal, Tsunade Senju. She was a woman in her fifties, but no one would ever guess. She was also looking like a giant bear who wanted to rip someone to pieces.
"WHAT IS THIS? PRESCHOOL? WHO STARTED THIS NONSENSE?
Everyone pointed a finger at Ino, who was still hiding.
"Aha, Yamanaka, is it? We are going to my office, NOW!"
Sasuke was standing in the boys washroom, trying to get the potatoes out of his hair and clothes. That Haruno girl had gone too far. First, she talked back at him, then she insulted him and now she was throwing food at him? It was just fucking unbelievable! What had he done to her anyway? She had no reason to hate him like she did, but he would change that. He would give her plenty of reasons to call him a buffoon from now on.
She wanted a fight? She was sooo gonna get it!
I wanna see you strut, strut, strut!
Come on walk for me!
LauryUchiha writing ^^
From here on it will get damn amusing. At least, I still amuse myself over all the things they are going to do to each other.
Thanks to all of you who left reviews and put the story on their alert list ^^
I will keep working very hard.
Greetings 3
Disclaimer: I. Don´t Own. Naruto. Period.
