S. Meyer own Twilight. I own a collection of elephants.

The Bella Plan Chapter 2

August

I wake up Saturday morning with my dick hard as a rock after another damn dream about Bella. My hand rubs my boner over my boxers before I remember my plan. I stop the cock rub and scrub my face instead. Step one in Operation Get Over It was almost a bust.

Step One: Cease and desist in jerking off to any and all thoughts or images of Bella.

After a cold as fuck shower, I get dressed in my usual get up of Levis, Chucks, and whatever band t-shirt is clean. I stare at myself in the dresser mirror and think about step two of Operation Get Over It.

Step Two: Try to date; get a girlfriend.

I've never actually attempted to have a relationship with anyone, but I mean, why would I? I couldn't have the girl that I wanted, so why would I bother? And the options in Forks are pretty limited. So that leads us to step three.

Step Three: Fix yourself up, Cullen!

I give myself the once over and FUCK! I'M A SLOB! I'm not bad looking, I guess, but I don't make any kind of an effort to look good either. My hair is too fucking long and always looks like I've been standing in the wind or some shit, and the color is some weird ass copper that resembles the old pots my Grandma Liz has on her kitchen walls. I rarely bother to shave until my mom or dad calls me out for the Grizzly Adams look, whatever the fuck that is. I've got a pretty nice smile after four years of braces, but I should definitely invest in a tube of Chapstick. I need a fucking makeover.

I make my way downstairs and follow the smell of bacon cooking. Mom looks up at me with a surprised, yet happy look on her face.

"You're up early. What brings you to the land of the living before noon on a Saturday?"

"Good morning to you too, Mom." I smirk at her as I take the orange juice from the fridge and chug straight from the jug.

"Edward, would it hurt you to use a glass?"

"Why dirty a glass when I'm just going to finish the juice?" Parents make no sense. Mom shakes her head at me as she passes me a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast. After serving herself, we sit at the table in the breakfast nook overlooking her garden.

"Where's Dad?"

"He's covering for Dr. Denali. His daughter Irina is getting married today in Seattle. Didn't you go to school with her sisters Katie and Tanya?"

I shovel some eggs in my mouth and try not to think of Tanya Denali and her eighteen year old claws trying to grope my fourteen year old junk.

"Katie and I were friends, but Tanya was a senior when I was a freshman. We didn't really hang around the same people." Mom sips her coffee and eyeballs me before speaking. I can only pray that she doesn't ask about Tanya again.

"Why don't you just tell me what you want already?" How the hell does she always know that I want something?

"I'm your mother. It's my job to know." She throws my own smirk at me. Shit. Must've said that out loud.

"Ok. Ahhh, please don't make a big deal out of this, but I wanna go shopping for new clothes. Uhh, ya know, some nicer stuff. With school starting on Tuesday and all. Maybe get a haircut? I don't know, maybe look a little nicer?" I look up from my plate after my idiotic rambling and mom is smiling so big, I think she might burst from excitement. Fuck. Maybe this was a bad idea.