Disclaimer: The characters used herein belong to their respective owner(s). I am simply using them for entertainment purposes and to poke fun. No infringement is intended.


Ranma had to admit, the spot his old man had picked for their short training trip was nice. They had set up camp in a small clearing surrounded by trees, and not fifty metres away was a small brook.

Though he still had no idea what his father had planned. All he knew was that it included a giant boulder that weighed over a ton and lots of very strong rope.

"Ranma! Get over here and help me wrap the rope around the boulder!"

Rolling his eyes, Ranma did as he was told. He still had no idea what his father had planned, but a sneaking suspicion was forming in his mind.

Working together, they quickly wrapped enough rope around the boulder to tie up Godzilla, then stepped back to admire their handiwork.

"Okay, that's the first part almost done. Here, take these." Genma said, holding out his palm. On it lay five small blue pills.

Ranma took the pills, picking one up between thumb and index finger to closely inspect it. "What are they?"

"They're viagra pills, boy! I... obtained them myself," Genma said proudly. "They'll make sure that you, err, stay hard throughout the entirety of your training."

Ranma's sneaking suspicion was growing into a bad feeling. A really bad feeling. "Just how, exactly, are we going to train?"

"Easy boy! You take off your clothes, swallow those pills, I tie you up, and then I'm going to smash that boulder into your penis until you've build up enough resilience to either shatter the boulder, or at least poke a deep hole in it!"

Ranma's eyebrow suddenly developed a nervous tick as he mentally repeated 'Must not kill him. Must not kill him.' to himself. It took him quite a while, but finally Ranma managed to regain some control over his murderous impulses.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!"

Genma grimaced and wiped the spittle of his face. "Stop being a drama-queen, boy!" he said. "It's for the good of the Anything Goes school! And it'll help you, as well!"

"And just how is this going to help me?"

"Must I spell everything out for you? Oh, the shame! To be cursed with such a useless son that can't even think for himself!"

"Shut up!" Ranma said, his fist buried in his father's face. "I just don't see what kind of benefit I could gain from being able to shatter boulders with my dick!"

"Oh, I truly am cursed with a foolish boy!" Genma sobbed as he adopted one of his overly dramatic poses, his face turned heavenward and his fists clenched. "Think boy! It doesn't toughen up just the dangly bits between your legs! You're going to be smashing into a giant boulder! It'll toughen up your whole body. And once you've mastered this technique, you won't ever have to worry about an opponent going for your family jewels. Besides, I have it on good authority that chicks dig guys with an erection hard enough to pierce concrete."

"Yeah, I bet," Ranma muttered under his breath, but decided to go along with it. It did sound like a useful technique to learn.

He watched as his father sat down at the fallen tree they were using for a work surface and began fiddling with something. Genma's bulk was blocking Ranma's view, and he couldn't make out what it was. He was sure though that he wasn't going to like it. His father continued fiddling and muttering for fifteen minutes, then he was apparently finished with whatever he was doing.

"All right, boy. Now take off your clothes and put this on," Genma said, handing the thing he had been working on to his son before he set about getting the boulder ready.

"What is this?" Ranma asked as he accepted the strange contraption from his father. It was a big ring made out of metal, and connected to it were two straps. Suddenly, his bad feeling was back again.

"It's something I built myself, just for you! You put it around your penis to keep it pointing straight," Genma said as he tied the giant boulder he had picked for this training exercise to a high branch of the tree they had chosen for Ranma's training. "Oh, and you might want to put it on before you swallow the Viagra pills."

"I'm still not so sure this training exercise is such a good idea, pops," Ranma said as he eyed this new torture device warily.

"Nonsense, boy! It's all for the good of the schools. Now hurry up, then get over here and let me tie you up!"

It didn't take long to get Ranma ready, though he was now asking himself why he had decided to go along with this.

"All right! Let's go!" Genma shouted. He released the boulder, which swung down towards Ranma like a giant pendulum.

As he hung tied up from a tree, his whole body except for his hard cock wrapped in strong rope, and saw the giant boulder swinging towards his boner, Ranma pondered that telling Genma about his sore cock might not have been the wisest decision he had ever made in his life.

Ranma screamed like a choir boy getting penetrated for the first time by the pastor as he collided cock first with the boulder, his dick bending in ways it was not designed to bend. When his father dragged the boulder back to the starting point for another go, all he could do was sob and whimper as twin rivers of tears streamed down in his cheeks.

"Don't be such a wimp, boy! We have to toughen you up! I had to endure much more horrible things when I was training under the dreaded master."


"Oh my! Ranma, Mister Saotome, I didn't hear you come back last night," Kasumi said as she entered the dining area and saw Ranma and his father sitting at the table. Both were looking rather worn out, with bags under their blood-shot eyes and very pale faces.

Ranma barely glanced at the first girl he'd ever had sex with. Was it just his imagination or had Kasumi sounded accusatory just then? Nah, it was probably just in his head. "We didn't. We got back only half an hour ago. And thanks to my stupid old man," Ranma emphasised his statement with an elbow to his father's head, waking him up from his nap, "I don't even have enough time grab a quick nap before I have to leave for school."

"That's nice! I'll go and make you a bento."

"Nice, she says," Ranma muttered with a scowl as Kasumi went back into the kitchen.

He was just about to nod off when Akane entered the room. "Oh. You're back."

Ranma cracked one eye open to glare at her. "You don't have to sound quite so enthusiastic about it."

Akane flushed, quickly averting her eyes as she started to fiddle with the handle of her satchel. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that."

Ranma grunted, not in the mood for an argument after the weekend he'd had, and ignored her. He was just about to fall asleep again when Kasumi came back with two bentos.

"Here you go, you two."

Mentally groaning, Ranma stood up. "Thanks, Kasumi," he said, absentmindedly planting a kiss on her check as he accepted his bento.

"Have a nice day at school!" Kasumi called as the two left, a bright blush colouring her cheeks.


Akane kept on sneaking looks at her fiancé out of the corner of her eye as they made their way to school. For once, he was walking beside her on the pavement, though Akane never even entertained the idea that his reasons for doing so were romantic.

He looked as if he was standing K.O., his eyelids drooping and his posture slouched as he walked along with his hands buried in his pockets. Even his pigtail was just hanging down limply between his shoulder blades.

"So," she said, more to break the silence than out of any real curiosity. "How was your training trip?"

Ranma gave a grunt. "Busy."

O~kay, Akane thought, that was very informative. "What did you do?"

"Eh, toughness training."

"Did you get any sleep at all?"

"No."

Akane shook her head. She could understand wanting to be the best at martial arts, but she thought that Ranma and Genma were overdoing it. Then again, maybe she'd have better control over her temper if she took her training as seriously as those two did.

She'd had plenty of time to think over the weekend, and had come to several conclusions.

The first, and the conclusion that had taken the longest to arrive at, was that Ranma wasn't a pervert. Sure, he had spanked her and done that thing with his fingers, but really, he'd had no choice. Akane had been acting like a total bitch. That was the second conclusion Akane had reached as she took a good long look at herself. Getting her ass spanked had probably been the only thing drastic enough to make her realise that. And giving her the best orgasm of her life afterwards had actually been kind of nice.

She still thought most boys were jerks and perverts, but maybe Ranma was different. No, Akane decided as she cast another surreptitious glance at her fiancé, he was definitely different. Even if he could still be a major jerk at times.

"Let's get this over with," Ranma mumbled suddenly, breaking Akane out of her thoughts. Looking up, Akane saw that they had already reached school.

As usual, Kuno was ready to greet them at the gates. "Halt! Foul sorcerer! Stand still and let me smite you!"

Ranma ignored the kendoist and just kept on walking. Kuno took that as an invitation to bring his bokken down on Ranma's head as hard as he could, resulting in a broken weapon and no visible injury on Ranma.

Akane gaped. "Is that what his training did?"

"What sorcery is this?" Kuno mumbled as he inspected the broken hilt of his bokken, poking it curiously with a finger.

Seeing the upperclassman with such a stupid look on his face caused Akane to giggle, before she noticed that Ranma was already at the doors leading inside the school. "Hey! Ranma, wait up!"


Ranma exited the school bleary eyed, barely able to stay awake after his weekend with almost no sleep and a whole day of teachers droning on about one subject or another. Not even the girl-talk that always went on around him had been able to amuse him today.

He was suddenly brought to full awareness as a loud shout rang through the air.

"RANMAAAAA! I've finally found you!"

Ranma's eyes widened and he whirled around. "What the?!" he said, looking around frantically for the owner of that voice.

"What's wro- AH!" Akane said as a strange body crashed into the spot where Ranma had been standing right next her to just an eye blink ago. But Ranma had sensed this new boy just in time and jumped out of the way, back flipping gracefully through the air to land among a small group of students a short distance away.

The new boy was dressed in dark green trousers, a yellow shirt, and wore a yellow and black bandana around his forehead. A huge backpack, almost as big as Akane was tall, was strapped to his back. He stood up from where he had just planted his face into the dirt without so much as a second glance at Akane and turned around, swivelling his head from left to right.

"Ranma, you coward! Where did you go!"

Akane growled, and her eye-brow started twitching as she heard the excited muttering and wild speculations the newcomer's dynamic entrance had caused among the crowd of Furinkan High School.

"Who's that guy? And why's he acting as if Ranma disappeared, he's standing right over there!"

"Who cares about that?! I wanna know why he attacked Ranma!"

"I don't think he was attacking him, I think he was trying to hug him."

"No way! What are you, stupid? Ranma doesn't swing that way! I heard that he's already fucked all three Tendo sisters!"

"All three sisters? That's not what Ishikawa told me. I heard Ranma had to sleep with Akane's father to get his permission to have sex with Akane."

Just as Akane was about to deck this strange new guy for causing such nasty rumours, he threw his head back and screamed.

"RANMA!" The new boy's shout served to silence the muttering going on as everybody turned to watch him. It also saved him from getting beaten into the dirt. "Stop hiding and show yourself!"

"Jeez, Ryoga. Why d'ya always hav'ta be such a drama queen?" Ranma asked as he stepped away from the group of students he had used to hide himself. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he shot Ryoga an irritated scowl. "And what do you want, anyway?"

"Ranma!" Ryoga whirled around. Then he blinked. "Where'd you go?"

Ranma groaned, face-palming as he shook his head. "Still as bad with directions as ever, I see," he said as he walked to where Ryoga and Akane were standing.

Ryoga's face turned beet red. "Shut up! You know about my problem and the trouble it's caused me! It's not funny!"

"Yeah, yeah," Ranma said, waving his hand. "Spare me the sob story. Now tell me why you're here. The last time I saw you was almost a year ago." He pinned Ryoga with an annoyed look. "You didn't even show up for our last duel before I had to go to China! I waited three days for you before my father finally dragged me away! "

"Excuse me," Akane said in a tight voice.

Ranma shot his fiancée a questioning look, blinking when he saw her face. "Uhm, Akane. Are you all right? The right side of your face is kind of... twitching."

"Of course I'm not all right!" Akane screamed. "I almost got crushed by some lunatic that shows up out of the blue and tries to kill my fiancé. And then neither my fiancé nor this lunatic have the decency to INTRODUCE HIM TO ME!"

Ranma scowled as he leaned back to avoid the spittle flying from Akane's mouth. "Jeez, calm down. It's just Ryoga. An old friend from Junior High."

"Fiancée?" Ryoga squeaked.

"Yeah," Ranma sighed, rolling his eyes. "May I introduce? Ryoga, Akane. She's my fiancée. Akane, Ryoga. He's a guy I went to Junior High with."

"She's your fiancée?" Ryoga asked again with a crestfallen look on his face.

Ranma's expression darkened. "Yeah. It was my stupid old man's idea. He and this other guy used to train together under the same master over twenty years ago. They got it in their heads to engage their children to unite their families. Stupid panda..."

"It's no picnic for me either," Akane said, crossing her arms.

Ryoga blinked, then a smile spread across his face. "Ah, so you two don't like each other?"

"Not really."

"Feh!"

Ryoga looked at Ranma and Akane as they stood there with identical postures, their backs straight, arms crossed in front of their chests, neither looking at the other. "That's great!" Ryoga said, his smile broadening.

"Hey! You better not get any ideas." Akane pinned Ryoga with a narrow-eyed look. "I'm not going to go out with you!"

"Why would I want to go out with you?" Ryoga asked with a genuinely confused tone.

"But I thought... That... you... and...." Akane stammered, her face flushing red. "If you don't want to go out with me, then why do you think it's great we don't like each other?!"

"Because that means I still have a chance with Ranma!"

"..."

"..."

Ranma could only stand there and shoot Ryoga incredulous looks, gaping like a fish out of water, while Akane's face became an ever deepening shade of red. Finally, the pressure seemed to become too much for her and she burst out, "My Ranma isn't like that!"

Ryoga blinked. "How do you know that?"

"Because he just isn't! What makes you think he is?"

Ryoga's expression grew dreamy. "He was always so nice to me, walking me to school and back, spending time with me during lunch break when no one else would! I'm sure he did that because he loves me!"

Akane stared at Ryoga long and hard, looking at him as if he had told her the moon was really made of cheese. "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!"

Ranma shook his head as he watched Ryoga and Akane argue back and forth. "You two have fun. I'm outta here," he commented, before he turned around and strolled home.

Ryoga and Akane kept on bickering for five more minutes before they finally realised that the subject of their disagreement was no longer there.

"Hey! Where'd Ranma go?" Akane asked.

Ryoga growled. "That meanie! I wanted to give him the bento I made for him! Ranma, come back here!" he screamed as he started running in the opposite direction Ranma had gone.

"But our home is that way," Akane said, before she shook her head. "Why the hell am I helping that idiot? Good riddance! I hope he falls into a chasm!"

As she ran home she decided to have a talk with Ranma. No way would she allow that Ryoga guy to steal her Ranma away.


"I'm home!" Akane said as she entered the Tendo dojo. Still panting slightly from sprinting the whole way back, she took off her shoes and made her way to the living room.

"Welcome back, Akane," Kasumi said.

Akane acknowledged her sister's greeting with a nod as she looked around. "Where's Ranma?"

"He's in his room. He said he was tired and wanted to take a nap before dinner." Kasumi frowned when she noticed Akane's flushed face and her rapid breathing. "What happened? Did you get into a fight with Ranma again?"

"What? No!" Akane huffed. "But the jerk did leave without me."

Kasumi bit her lip, her brow furrowing as she appeared to think about something. Evidently, she reached a decision, as indicated by the way she squared her shoulders and the sudden determined look she gave Akane. "Can you come to the kitchen for a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"I ... guess," Akane said, following after her sister with a quizzical look on her face. What could this be about? Was Kasumi going to give her another lecture about her violent tendencies again?

Kasumi immediately set out brewing some tea, though Akane had the impression she was doing so just to keep herself busy. "When Ranma arrived here, I'm afraid Nabiki and I didn't act in the most ... proper manner."

Akane huffed, the memory of that day causing her temper to rise. "You sure didn't! You just foisted him on me like a ratty old dress!"

"I know, and I'm sorry," Kasumi said. "But his curse was just so strange, and it unnerved me a bit." The water had started to boil by then, and Kasumi filled two cups. "I thought about this a lot," she said as she carried the cups to the table where Akane was sitting, "and I came to the conclusion that we shouldn't have acted like that. I think our behaviour created a lot of pressure for you and Ranma, which might be why it doesn't seem to work out between you two."

Akane accepted her cup from Kasumi and started toying with the tea bag, frowning as she listened to Kasumi. "What do you mean?"

Kasumi reached across the table and put her hand on Akane's. "The way you two are fighting all the time. That's not how a healthy relationship works. And then there's the problem you have with boys your age. I don't think forcing you and Ranma together like we did is helping that."

Akane didn't like the direction this conversation was going. "What are you saying?" she demanded, looking her older sister in the eyes. "Do you want me to break the engagement and tell dad and Uncle Genma, 'I'm sorry, but it's just not working out? Sorry for destroying your dreams'?"

"Of course not!" Kasumi said quickly. "But maybe we should think about switching the engagement."

"Oh, I see how it is now!" Akane snatched her hand back and stood up suddenly, sending her chair clattering to the ground. "You want him for yourself!" She said, pointing an accusing finger at Kasumi. "First, his curse makes you uncomfortable and you force him on me like a smelly pair of socks! And now, after we've started to get along, you suddenly decide you made a mistake and want to steal him away from me!"

Kasumi's eyes widened as her mouth fell open. "Tha- that's not how it is!"

"Oh yeah? It sure seems like it to me!"

"Akane! No! I was just concerned."

"Hah!" Akane barked a harsh laugh. "You're not concerned, you're selfish!" She couldn't believe this! First that jerk Ryoga showed up, thinking he had a chance with her Ranma. And now her own sister was trying to steal him away!

"Akane! Would you please calm down," Kasumi said. "I'm not trying to steal Ranma away!"

"Forget it," Akane said as she turned to leave. "I don't wanna talk about this anymore."

"Oh my," Kasumi murmured as she watched Akane walk away.