CHAPTER 3
TONKS
Tonks lifted her head from the large table; Mrs Weasley had placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"What did he say, Molly?" Tonks asked, for Mrs Weasley had just told-or rather confessed- to Lupin that Tonks had fallen in love with him. She felt ashamed for getting someone else to confess to him, but she couldn't face him, not just then, anyway.
"Well, he was completely shocked, as you may've guessed, and he also said 'I'm much too old for her, and too poor, too dangerous and there's the problem that he's a werewolf.' I think he wanted to talk to you tonight, but I told him it wouldn't be the greatest idea," she gave Tonks a small smile.
"Thank you Molly, for everything. It feels like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but I just don't know if I'll ever be able to face him again!" Tonks sighed.
Molly didn't know what to say. "You're very welcome, Nymph- oh, I mean, Tonks. Just remember, whenever you need someone to talk to, just come over, all right dear?"
"Thanks, Molly. I'm sorry, but I need to go now, my parents are expecting me for dinner at their place." Tonks stood up and wiped tears from her eyes.
"OK, well, goodbye, Tonks," Molly gave her another reassuring smile.
Tonks groaned. "My parents! They will never approve. And I don't know how or when I'm going to tell them. Ah, well. I guess I'm going to have to see what they say, but they are going to be really pissed off," she gave Mrs Weasley a small smile; she hadn't smiled in what seemed like ages. "Well, see-you, Molly," Tonks had reached the door by now, and opened it, then she was swallowed by the dark night. Tonks then disapparated to her parents' house.
Tonks reached the front door of her parents' house, and knocked. Her father, Ted Tonks, who had a large stomach and fair hair, answered the door.
"Dora! It really is lovely to see you again." he smiled, and Tonks tried her best to smile back.
"It's really nice to see you too, dad," she replied, hugging him. "Where's mum?" she asked.
"Oh, your mother's just getting some dinner sorted!" he said nicely. "Now, come on in, Dora," he said with another smile.
Tonks obliged, and stepped inside.
"Dromeda, Dora's here!" Ted said, with an air if excitement in his voice.
A woman emerged from the brightly lit kitchen. At first glance, she looked a lot like her sister Bellatrix Black, but she had a light, soft brown hair colour and wider, kinder eyes.
"Oh, Nymphadora!" she squealed, sounding absolutely delighted. Tonks scowled; she absolutely hated it when her mother called her Nymphadora. "How are you honey? You don't look well, to be perfectly honest and you're much too thin, but that's nothing that a little food can't fix." Dromeda hugged her daughter; her only child.
Tonks hugged her back. If there was one other thing she didn't like about her mother, it was the fact she worried about things far too much. "Mum, honestly, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping well, and haven't had much of an appetite lately." the truth was, of course, Lupin, but Tonks didn't want to bring that subject up just yet.
"But, dear, you haven't been changing your hair-or any of your appearance- for ages!" her mother insisted, "And your patronus has-."
"I know! I know!" said Tonks, now getting thoroughly annoyed. "I know my patronus has changed! I'm sorry, mum, but I've heard this from just about everyone!"
Ted, who had been sitting on the couch, finally spoke "That's because everyone is worried about you, Dora!" he exclaimed. "Especially your mother and I." he added.
Meanwhile, Tonks's mother had disappeared into the kitchen again. "Dinner is ready, you two!" her voice came from the kitchen, then she came into view, with a large tray laden with a variety of food and drink; pumpkin juice (Tonks's favourite!), steak and kidney pie, onion soup, fresh bread… far too much food for just three people.
"Wow. Don't you think that's a little too much food, mum?" Tonks was amazed by the immense amount of food that her mother had put before them, and was also curious.
"Oh! Didn't either of us tell you?" asked Dromeda, but made it subtlety obvious that they 'forgot' to tell her on purpose. "We're having a guest over tonight."
"Who?" asked Tonks curiously.
"Remus." she replied.
Tonks's heart sank; Remus was coming, just mere hours since he'd found out she loved him. "Oh, er- that's nice," she said, managing a small smile. "Why are they coming over, though?" she asked. "I'm not trying to be nosy or anything!" Tonks added hastily.
This time, it was Ted's turn to talk. "Well, we thought it would be nice if we had a few other people over too," he said with a smile.
"But why Lupin!" thought Tonks hopelessly "Of all people, my parents invite Lupin! Of course, my parents don't know, but I'm bound to screw up somehow…I could make an excuse, but that's just completely heartless! Well… I guess I'll just have to see what happens, and try to avoid Lupin as much as possible."
A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Tonks feelings went berserk; she felt her spirits rise at the sight of the figure at the door, but then she also felt them drop, for the shabby person with greying her at the door was none other than Remus Lupin.
Tonks looked at the floor; she couldn't bear to look at him, not just after the conversation he'd had with Mrs Weasley. Tonks's mother let Lupin in.
"Urgh. The weather is absolutely horrible outside! Thank you very much for inviting me, Ted and Dromeda by the way," Lupin pulled off his shabby coat and noticed Tonks, who was staring determinedly at the floor, for the first time. "Ah, hello Tonks!" he said warmly, giving her a big smile.
Tonks couldn't help herself she smiled widely back at him, but it was still terribly awkward. "Hi, Lupin." she said quietly, almost shyly.
Remus crossed the living room floor and sat on the chair opposite Tonks. He tried to catch Tonks's eye, but she was deliberately trying to avoid it.
"Come get something to eat you two," called Tonks's mother.
"I'm alright thank you, Dromeda, I had something a little earlier," said Lupin
"Thanks mum, but er- I'm not hungry either." Tonks always seemed to lose her appetite when something to do with Lupin came up.
"Now, young lady!" exclaimed Tonks's mother, "You are becoming very thin, and you are going to eat something!"
"But, mum!"
"No buts Nymphadora," Dromeda came into the living room once more, carrying a plate full of food and a goblet of pumpkin juice.
Tonks finished the food quickly then sat in silence.
Finally, when Tonks decided that she couldn't stand the awkward silence between her and Lupin (her mother and father were talking), she decided to talk.
"So, er- Lupin?" she asked
"Hm? Yes, Tonks?" he replied.
"Why did my parents invite you tonight?" Tonks asked.
Remus chuckled before he answered. "To be honest, I don't really know!" he said. "I don't even think your parents like me very much," he added quietly. "But I approached them yesterday, and expressed my concerns for you, then, out of the blue, they just asked; 'do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?' And I knew it would've been rude to refuse, so I obliged," he said, "And here I am!" he finished with another small laugh.
Tonks laughed too. She always changed when he was with her. She'd have to tell him one day….
"Tonks?" asked Lupin, almost reluctantly. "Er- may-may I talk to you?" he sounded nervous.
Tonks nodded. "Do you want to talk to me alone?"
"Yes," he nodded "Do you know where we can go?"
Tonks beckoned for Lupin to follow her. "Follow me," she said.
Tonks led him down the wooden floored hallway into the guest bedroom; the room she slept in when she stayed with her parents.
"In here." she said quietly.
Lupin entered the room, followed by Nymphadora, who closed the door behind her. She knew what was coming, so she braced herself for a huge emotional blow.
"Tonks, I'm just going to get this over and done with. Molly told me tonight about…. Well, you know. But I just want to say, it's a really bad idea," he took Tonks's hands with his own. "Tonks, I'm much too old for you. I'm extremely poor, and dangerous. And, of course, I'm a werewolf." he sighed, and looked at their hands.
"I know, I know!" replied Tonks, starting to sound furious. "But do you think I really care if you're too old, poor and dangerous. I don't care if you're a werewolf. I'm in love with you, Remus, and now, I'm not ashamed to admit it now." she looked into his eyes for the first time in months; he had tears in his eyes, and Tonks was now crying. Remus broke their gaze, and let go of Tonks's hands. He looked away.
"Tonks, I- I'm so sorry…" his voice trailed off. He walked out of the guest bedroom.
Tonks fell onto the bed in the room and cried, face down. What was she supposed to do? She had upset Lupin; that was obvious. But why was he so close to tears after she'd said those things about her being proud to be in love with him; a werewolf?
Tonks jumped up from the bed and ran down the hall. Was Lupin still here? Or did he leave? Tonks didn't know what to expect; part of her wanted Lupin to still be there, but another part of her hoped that he'd gone. She burst through the Living Room door. Lupin wasn't there.
"Where's Remus?" Tonks asked.
"Darling, he just left a couple of minutes ago." Dromeda answered.
"But, why?" Tonks asked.
"I don't actually know!" replied her mother. "He just said he needed to go, but thank you for your hospitality. To be honest, he didn't look very happy…. What were you two talking about in the guest bedroom anyway?" her mother asked curiously.
Tonks's hear sank. She thought this was coming. What was she going to say? Tonks knew one thing; she was going to have to make something up. "Oh, er- he just wanted to talk to me about the er- the order meeting we just had today," she stifled a fake yawn. "Well, I'm exhausted! I guess I'd better be going now."
"No, Dora, why don't you stay the night? You can stay in the guest room." Ted asked
Tonks knew it would be rude to refuse. "Well, OK then, dad," she smiled. "Well, I'll be going to bed now, I think," she nodded. "Goodnight, mum, dad." she hugged each of them in turn, then made her way back to the guest bedroom, where she only just had the conversation with Lupin, and she had the freedom to think over what had just happened that last day.
A few hours later, Tonks's mother came in. Tonks, who had almost fallen asleep on the bed, sat up.
Her mother sat next to her. "Honey, Remus just came in before," she said. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?" she looked concerned.
Tonks didn't know what to say. "Mum, wha-what are you talking about?" she asked, even though she had a pretty good idea of what her mother meant.
Dromeda frowned. "Tonks, please explain why Lupin just came in, looking absolutely bewildered, telling us that you'd fallen in love with him?" she asked.
"Maybe he was drunk?" suggested Tonks, most unhelpfully.
Her mother looked angrier. "I don't think Remus was drunk Nymphadora, so I want some answers pronto."
"Well, there's nothing else to explain," replied Tonks. She felt scared; why the hell had Remus told her parents? "I guess I would've too, if I found out something like that." she thought.
"I won't deny it; I've fallen in love with a werewolf, and I'm not ashamed to admit it now," she said it confidently, even though she was still feeling terrified."Is he still here?" she asked her mother, but knew it was a bad idea.
Her mother sighed. "He is still here, Tonks," she replied. "But you aren't seeing him."
Tonks groaned. "But I want to sort this out, so I'm seeing him, and I don't care what you say!" she got up from the bed, and, guessing he was in the living room, went down the hall.
She was right; Lupin was there, his hair striped with grey, his young face lined with a few wrinkles. He stood up.
"Tonks, I'm sorry," he began.
She slapped him. "How could you? You- you BASTARD!" she screamed furiously. "I was reluctant when Molly offered to tell you, then you go and tell my friggin' parents!" she began to cry.
"Tonks!" he yelled, trying to get her attention. "How do you think I feel? I feel so guilty for telling your parents, but I don't know what came over me! I had a pretty good life, Nymphadora-,"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" she screamed.
"As I was saying, I had a pretty good life, until, you told me you weren't ashamed for falling in love with me, and you stuff it up!" he yelled.
"Oh, so this is my fault is it?" she said furiously, still crying. She collapsed into Lupin's arms, and cried, and cried. Then, Lupin did something neither he nor Tonks was expecting….he kissed her. It was a romantic kiss; it felt like she and Remus were meant to be sharing it, and Tonks felt embarrassed for her parents were looking through the doorway, but it was absolute bliss. Amazingly, Tonks's hair changed to a bright shade of pink. But, as soon as it started, it seemed to finish. Once they had finished kissing, Tonks's hair turned back to its now usual mousey brown. Lupin put a finger under her chin, and lifted it up, so she looked him right in the eyes. He gave her a small, sad smile.
"I'm sorry, Tonks, but this just won't work." he gave her another sad smile, and this time Tonks saw tears in his eyes. He dropped her chin, and turned to leave.
Tonks wanted to stop him, but she couldn't find the words; she was glued to the spot. "Lupin," she said quietly. "Lupin, don't go." Tonks managed to find the use of her legs again and followed Lupin outside. She stumbled on, blinded by confusion.
"Lupin!" she called, a little louder, but it was too late. Remus had just disapparated. Tonks knelt down in the long, green grass. She felt lonely, and confused; she had no-one to confide to about what had just happened that night; it was far too late to see Molly, and her parents had seen them. She didn't want to go back up to the large wooden house, but she did anyway.
Before her parents could question her, Tonks cut in. "I DO NOT want to talk right now," she said. "I'm going to bed." Tonks felt guilty for speaking to her parents like this, especially after seeing their bewildered faces, but it was true; she wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, especially her parents.
She felt ashamed, more than anything; she had gotten carried away! "I wouldn't feel as guilty if my parents weren't watching," she thought haughtily. "But what am I going to do now! Lupin must feel just as ashamed as I do, but will we ever be able to face each other ever again?" she quickly got this thought out of her head. "Yes. It may take a while, but I will see Remus Lupin again. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but we will see each other again" she thought determinedly. Then, after much tossing and turning, and thinking about those days peculiar events, Tonks finally went into a restless sleep, with dreams of werewolves, and shabby, poor, dangerous men
