Holla, back for more?

Rated M for sexual thoughts.

More of Adam and Joel in this chappy, and a bit of Amber!

Warning: Talk of abuse. It's heavy, and I hope I handled it okay.

Pairings: Adam/Kristina, Sarah/Gordon, Sarah/Joel

Enjoy, and remember that reviews are food!

Oh, and I still own nada .

Adam had not had the greatest of days. Or the greatest of years, really. And as he ended his day with a cold beer, sitting out on the front steps of his house because he fucking couldn't face his family, he was both filled with angsty thoughts and numb at the same time. Max had experienced another outburst, one that left him raw and emotional. Added to that fact, that afternoon, he had learned that once again, his little sister had screwed up. Or, his perfect brother in law had screwed up.

After Joel had seemed reluctant to move from one spot that afternoon, watching Sarah practically dry humping her boss in his office, Adam had forced himself to ask what was going on, completely unprepared for the answer.

It all seemed so fucking…trivial. He didn't want to become some sort of pity-me guy who has one downfall in life and can't get over it, but he just couldn't help but feel that his family was completely unsupportive of his situation with Max. And his situation with T and S. And his situation in a marriage where he couldn't even give his wife a fucking orgasm. They all had their own problems and their own lives, and he couldn't help but resent them for it. It may be wrong, but watching his sister sleep her way through his office, staying out all night…..her life just seemed so trivial at the moment.

And Julia. Adam was filled with protectiveness for his youngest sister; a somewhat unfamiliar feeling. Sarah had always needed his protection; had always depended on him. He knew it wasn't intentional, and it most likely wasn't something she was proud of. But it was a fact. She screwed up enough to warrant concern, whereas Julia's perfectly sketched-out and applied life usually didn't concern him too much. Until now. Now, Adam wanted to protect his sister from his other sister. Who he couldn't even face.

He stood abruptly, deciding that he just freaking couldn't sit there, feeling sorry for himself for another minute. He carefully wandered around his own home, feeling unfamiliar to his own furnishings and out of place as he tactfully told Kristina that he was 'going to get some milk for the morning'. She had wavered slightly, but was for the most part unassuming and accepting as he walked out the door.

He had to talk some sense into his sister. Make her see what she was doing to every fucking person around her. Maybe tell her that she should have left Berkley months ago.

He got into his car, ignoring the two beers he had ingested, and started for his parents' home.

…..

Joel was neither shocked nor mad when he learned that Julia wouldn't make it home until eight that evening. He had returned from T and S hours ago, sitting on the same spot on the couch, having called Angelina…Angela…whatever Sydney's new best friends name was, asking if she could spend the night there.

He nursed a beer, wrinkling the paper label slightly with his fingers. He had made another mistake today. Adam knew. And Joel knew the Bravermans' well enough to know that nothing would stay a secret for too long. Eventually, the truth would come out. Which meant that eventually, Julia would find out.

He wondered why everybody thought Julia was the golden child. She had beauty, brains and success, sure. But Adam had a successful job and family, and even Crosby had that fucking houseboat. Joel surmised that Sarah was a little harder to categorise; merely because she had bucket-loads of brains and potential; and dreams that had gone by, leaving her trapped in a pit of black sheep. He could certainly relate to the feeling of letting yourself down, of having no fucking way to escape your own inability to do anything right.

Maybe that's why he kissed her. He saw the same self-deprecating loneliness he felt reflected in her eyes.

Now, sitting alone on his couch – the couch his partner had paid nearly a thousand dollars for, he felt completely out of place. Like he didn't fit into the mighty life Julia craved and, in her winners' nature, was experiencing. He couldn't even think of her, really. Couldn't remember how she smelled, what exact shade of blue her eyes were.

But he knew that Sarah smelled of a mixture of vanilla and lavender, and that her eyes were like weather-blue. She tasted vaguely cinnamon-y, with an underlying sweetness that made his cheeks blush.

And given the fact that he had been horny as hell for weeks – Julia rarely had time for that aspect of their relationship, he now couldn't stop thinking of her sister sexually.

He chugged a large amount of beer, rising to greet the fridge by pressing his head into it, trying to cool his reddening cheeks down. Sarah was hot, sure; he had known that for years. Checking out her long legs when Julia wasn't looking, her perky breasts, and a fucking perfect ass. He knew that. But Joel had never actually felt this attraction before; he supposed it was an aesthetic appreciation before, that had now revolutionized into a full blown sexual attraction. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Adam pulled into the gravelly driveway of his parents' suburban home, noticing that his sisters' car was not in its usual place. He decided to stop in anyway, walking slowly but surely through the kitchen door.

Amber was sitting alone in a wooden chair, the exact picture of her mother as she read...what was it? That book Sarah was obsessed with for years? Something Jonathon Livingston Seagull, anyway.

She slowly became aware of his presence as he lifted his hand in a typical Adam Braverman half-wave, saying a quick 'hey' before sliding into a chair opposite her.

'Are your grandparents around?' Maybe he could at least get fucking Zeek onto his side. Or explain himself. Amber looked up tiredly, letting him see wary blue-green eyes clouded by a strand of black hair.

'Erm no. They went somewhere with Crosby and Jabbar.' She left out her mother, obviously having heard about the argument. He hesitantly continued.

'Your mom?'

'Gordon's.'

Fucking awesome.

'Right. So that's like a real thing now, huh, your mom and Gordon?' Fishing for details? You are an asshole, Adam.

'I guess. I'm sorta happy about it, though.'

That threw Adam for a loop. What? Wasn't Amber supposed to be pissed that her mom was once again screwing some nameless idiot?

'You are? I thought you'd, uh, not be too happy about it.' Tread lightly.

She paused to flick her shoulder-length hair slightly, in a move completely imitative of her mother. Her expression darkened momentarily, as if her mind was in a deep debate. She seemed to come to a decision, and spoke softly.

'Well, it's just that you know that my dad treated her pretty terribly, right?'

Adam knew Seth had been an asshole, but that, he thought, was the extent of it. Amber looked at her uncle pleadingly, as if she was encouraging him to understand. But he couldn't.

'I, er, know that he wasn't….the best husband and father, yeah.'

'It was more than that.'

Even through their argument the day before, that statement made Adam's mind stop, concern for his sister and her children taking over.

'Amber, what happened with your dad?'

She sighed, sitting up straight as if preparing herself for battle.

'Mom didn't want any of you to know, you know. She wanted to handle it all herself. She bought concealer, she didn't let any of you know when dad would disappear for days at a time.'

Adam paled, realizing that while he had been full of anger at his sisters' actions, he had missed a whole dangerous, damaging part of her life.

He made a move, sitting up, engaging his niece with eye contact.

'Amber. Did Seth..hit you?'

She chuckled slightly as if in disbelief.

'No. He didn't hit me.'

And that was it. Adam's mind was filled with anger. Anger at himself, at his family. How could they not fucking see it? He sighed, letting her see his reaction through his eyes, unable to respond.

'Does Drew know?'

'No. Mom didn't want him to – the only reason I know is because I saw it one night.' She paused again, letting air into her lungs before continuing. 'We had come home from school. It was four, maybe four fifteen in the afternoon. Dad was asleep in the couch – that's what mom told us. His eyes were bloodshot, and there was a syringe lying next to him. She told us to go into the bathroom and wait until she came to get us. I got Drew in there, and just stood in the doorway. Mom woke him up, and he was so…out of it. He didn't know who she was, he thought she was a demon. So he, uh, grabbed her arms….and shoved her against the wall. He just started hitting her…but she hit back. And he was knocked out. That was the night we left dad, and moved into the motel.'

Adam's face was a mask of anger as she finished. There was so much he hadn't known…so much nobody knew. For a second he wondered why Amber even told him, before he realized that in a very smart way, she had found out about his fight with Sarah, and was defending her mother, explaining her frazzled mindset. He couldn't talk; couldn't move. He managed to look up briefly as she continued.

'Gordon is light-hearted. He's casual. It's what she needs right now, and for me that outweighs any discomfort you may feel. I'm sorry.'

He nodded, responding to her next words asking him not to repeat what she told him.

'I won't – for now. But Amber…nobody knows. You guys went through a terrifyingly terrible ordeal, and nobody knows.'

She sighed, seeming to prepare an answer.

'It's not my story to tell. I didn't want to tell you; I had to. You needed to understand where mom's coming from, and it's not easy for you sometimes. But eventually, she will break down and talk about it. Hopefully.'

Adam was then filled with an overwhelming proudness for his niece. For being so fucking wise at sixteen; for loving her mother like she did. He understood. He fucking understood his sister now more than ever.

And at the back of his mind, her actions against him were explained; her trysts were not thoughtless and impulsive. They were a way of making her feel better. He thought of his own perfect little life, and suddenly felt like he hadn't been through all that he felt he had. And he wanted to talk about it; not punch someone in a supermarket.

But first, he had to talk to Joel..or Sarah, and figure out what they were going to do.