Hello again! Thank you for coming to read my story again.
In this chapter, Rosie has just turned 17 years.
The chapter includes self harming. If you feel uncomfortable with the subject, please stop reading now.
Otherwise, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.
I was sitting on the cold floor of my bedroom. A razor blade was just about to go trough the skin of my left wrist. I held the blade tight in my hand, and just stared. I couldn't do it. But nothing else would help. Nothing. I wouldn't bother my parents or Molly with my stupid worries and fears towards pretty much everything, and my friends were busy with their own problems.
I held on to the blade tighter, and slowly moved it closer to my wrist. Then I made a few deep cuts on it. Too much blood came on my skin.
"Don't even consider it!" My heart jumped all the way to my throat when I noticed a tall man standing on the door step to my room. Dad noticed. Oh god.
I had no idea what to do. I just stared at the floor.
"Oh god no, you already did. Rosie how did you even think about anything like this?"
"I- I was just- umm..."
"Oh please Rosie, I know exactly what you were doing. And you know you can't lie at all. Now let me look at your wrist." He dropped on his knees in front of me, and very carefully took my wrist.
"This was not even the first time you do this? Oh god how did I not notice anything until now?" He was clearly panicked. He ran to the bathroom, and looked for any bandages and cleaning props. I burst into tears.
He called somebody.
"Hi, John. How do you properly clean deep, bleeding cutting wounds from self harming?"
"Say what now?"
"You heard me, please help. I need your help."
"You know I'll always help you. Now just calm down. What happened?"
"Deep, bleeding self harm wounds all over one's wrist. There's so much blood."
None of my parents were ever scared of blood, not even loads of it. But I saw how panicked Dad was now that it was me. Daddy instructed him over the phone, and Dad followed. Shortly they hang up, and Dad looked at me.
"You promise me this is the last time I or anyone else has to do this? Never, ever do this again."
"I- I..."
"Promise me Rosie?" I just quickly nodded my head, and bit my teeth together when he wiped alcohol on the wounds. He wrapped the bandage around my wrist, and held my hand.
"Is there any more?" I shook my head no.
"Well then, I'll make some tea, and we'll sit on the couch together and you'll tell me why this is happening. I have all the time in the world to listen." He helped me up, and walked me to the living room. He sat me down on Daddy's cozy armchair, and wrapped me in a blanket. Then he went to the kitchen to put on the kettle for some tea.
It was a long talk. I told him all about the boys who had bullied me since nursery, and how no one could make it stop. Teachers have absolutely no power over bullies, if the bullies themselves won't decide to stop doing the wrong things they're doing to people. They had in fact stopped once when we were still in nursery, but they continued right away when second grade started. I never knew the reason why.
And eventually, also Daddy came home. He hung his coat and hat to the coat stand, and came in to the living room. He stopped, and looked at us in shock.
"It was Rosie with the wounds?"
I couldn't look at him. I was so embarrased. He walked in front of my chair, and sat down facing me.
"Honey? What's going on?" and I told him the same I had told my Dad about the bully boys. I completely lost it, and bursed into tears. Daddy hugged me, and I cried against his shoulder. Just like when I was a little girl with all my silly fears about monsters and stuff like that. Him holding me still made me feel so much better, and so much safer.
"We'll get through this, okay? We'll figure something out." He told me, and I silently nodded. I felt Dad kneeling down to my other side.
"Absolutely. If I have to come to the school to give them a lesson myself, I will definitely do it, no doubt. We WILL find a way to end this." Dad added, and stroked my shoulder.
And here we are once again, at the end of another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, even though the subject was a little more serious now.
I'd still love to get some feedback and subject suggestions from you.
