I don't own Supernatural or any references to anything else you may recognize.
Fuck. This can't be happening. They can't be here!
I hadn't bargained on this. I had never planned on seeing them again. I had never wanted them to see me like this, my mind slowly deteriorating. So, talking to Sam when he isn't there, drinking demon blood, and reading that stupid series over and over again… Anything else?
You forgot about me, the voice said, and I could feel the grin in its voice.
The knock came again, louder and more persistent this time. I can't put this off any longer, can I?
I reluctantly got out of bed and walked over to the door. I reached for the knob, a million different thoughts running through my head, and slowly turned it.
As soon as the door was open, I was attacked by a mass of strawberry blonde curls.
"Gari!" Ella squealed, wrapping me in the most spine-crushing hug she'd ever given.
I froze, unsure of how to react. I hesitantly hugged her back. "Ella…"
She let go of me and grinned. Her smile faltered a bit as she saw my hair. "What did ya do?"
"I needed a change," I said flatly.
She giggled and reached up on tiptoes to ruffle it playfully. "I kinda like it, actually."
"Surprised to see us?" Dean asked, giving me his trademark smirk. He looked exactly the same as I remembered—perfectly messed up hair, piercing green eyes, model-esque lips. The only change was the addition of the amulet Sam had given him around his neck. Just seeing it made me tear up.
Before I could stop myself, I crossed over to him and wrapped him in a desperate embrace.
I was trying not to cry, but it was so hard. Seeing him made me think of Sam, just like I knew it would. Plus, I'd been with him and Ella every step of the way, even if they didn't know it. I'd witnessed his nightmares, and his drinking habits, and his random, uncontrolled bursts of anger. He knew how I felt. Hell, he had it worse.
He patted my back uncomfortably and cleared his throat. Taking the hint, I released him and stepped back, wiping my eyes hurriedly.
"I don't use credit cards, and my phone doesn't have a GPS feature, so how did you find me?" I asked, staring at the floor. I couldn't bear to meet their eyes. What if they can see that I'm different? Dean's got epic instincts, and he's seen Sam on demon blood—what if he can tell?
"Ahem," Ella said primly, and I looked up to see her tapping the necklace I had given her.
My hand went up to identical one around my neck. "Oh."
"Aren't ya… aren't ya happy to see us?" she asked, her bottom lip quivering.
A huge wave of guilt crashed over me, and I found myself hugging her again. "Of course I am, Elle. I'm just shocked. I didn't really have much warning. You could've called."
"Yeah, like you would've answered," Dean scoffed. "She called you every day for the first two months. You never answered. We didn't know if you were dead or what." As he said this, I just barely picked up on the worry in his voice and the hurt in his eyes. So he was freaking out, too. Oh, great, now I feel even more guilty.
"I'm sorry," I replied. "I just needed time."
"A year?" Ella exclaimed. "Ya needed a year? When ya said it wasn't goodbye, I didn't think ya meant it would be for a year." She sounded angry, but the tears streaming down her baby face said otherwise.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. Sorry you hurt her, or sorry she found you? the voice whispered menacingly, and I struggled to ignore it. "This past year hasn't been that easy, and I knew it wasn't gonna be. I didn't wanna drag you two down with me."
"Gari, honey, you're my sister; y'know I'd do anything for ya," she reassured me. "And ya wouldn'ta dragged us down. We woulda pulled ya up!" She giggled girlishly, the laugh that never failed to make me laugh, too. Until now.
"Alright, well, next time I sink into a depression, I'll bring you along for the ride," I said, still unable to force emotion into my voice.
"Hey, you okay?" Dean asked me, and I looked away again.
"No, not really. Haven't been for a year. I wonder why." I glared at Dean, trying to push down the irrational anger that rose up inside of me. That was another downside to the blood: my emotions were even more out of whack than usual.
I'm not a downside, am I? the voice asked innocently, and I cringed slightly as its laughter echoed in my head.
"Okay, okay, sorry," he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender, thankfully not having noticed my miniature freak out. The corner of his mouth twitched upward the slightest bit and I couldn't imagine what was funny.
"Why the fuck are you here, anyway?" I snapped, my frustration getting the better of me.
"Well…" Ella began. "We were gonna call, but we figured ya wouldn't answer…"
"Ella, seriously. What's the deal?"
"Ya can't freak out, okay? Well, I mean, ya can, and ya prob'ly will, just don't freak out too bad." She had a huge smile on her face now, and Dean looked like he was trying to hide a grin.
"What the fuck—?"
"Hey, Gari."
That voice… No, it can't be…
I froze midsentence and spun toward the voice. Leaning casually against the doorframe was an extremely tall, muscular figure—the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, the only man I'd ever loved.
"Sam…"
My legs buckled beneath me and I felt myself falling. He was there in an instant, catching me before I hit the ground. He… he feels so real…
"Hey, hey, whoa, Gari, you okay?" he asked worriedly, helping me to my feet. He kept his arm around my waist to support me and I leaned against him, staring up into those gorgeous hazel eyes.
"Is it… is it really you?" I asked shakily, and he grinned, causing my heart to flutter erratically, just like it always had before.
"Yeah, Gari," he replied. "It's really me."
That's when the tears came.
I buried my face in his massive chest, crying openly—for him, for me, for us. After everything we'd been through, and after I thought I'd lost him forever, he was back. Sam was back. And he was holding me in his arms, and the hole in my heart was gone, and it was as if he had never left.
I finally pulled back, wiping my eyes and giving him a watery smile. Great, your reunion begins with you crying all over him. Classy. Very classy.
"But… but how?" I croaked out. "I… I saw you die! We all did! You were gone! How are you back?"
"I dunno," Sam told me. "I woke up in that cemetery in Lawrence. No clue who—or what—pulled me back up."
"So how long have you been back?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dean frown deeply, and Ella took a step back warily. Oh, boy, what now?
Sam looked away guiltily. "A year…"
If I hadn't been so intent on never letting him go again, I would've jumped back in disbelief and rage.
"A year?" I yelped. "So you've been back practically this whole time, and you never came and got us? You never came and got me? What the fuck, Sammy?"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. It's just… Ella and Dean finally got out, and—"
"And me?" I prompted. "What about me? You knew that I was gonna leave them. You knew why. You knew the effect your death would have on me! Yet you still stayed away for a year? You let us—let me—believe you were dead for a year?"
"Gari, please, listen to me," he pleaded, fixing me with those puppy dog eyes. There's something off about him, you can sense it. Look at his eyes. They're empty, the voice hissed, but I ignored it again. "I wanted to give you a chance."
"A chance to do what?"
"To move on! To live a better life! Even though I knew you were gonna keep hunting, you were better off without me. I put you in danger every minute you spent with me. And you got away!"
"Sam, it's not up to you what I do with my life. If I had wanted to leave you, I would've before I got involved." I stared up at him defiantly, but his words got to me. That's my Sammy, I thought, feeling slightly proud, always thinking of others first. He stayed away to protect me. Of course.
"I know," he said. "And I'm sorry. I should've found you. But I can't change the past. You're just gonna have to accept me now. Please, Gari, forgive me."
I sighed, momentarily resting my head on his chest again. "Of course I forgive you, Sammy. How could I not, after that little speech? And then there's the whole fact that I love you…"
He grinned again and pressed his lips to mine, his hand tightening around my waist and pulling me closer. I subconsciously lifted up to deepen the kiss, an almost unbearable feeling of ecstasy overwhelming me.
I have him back. I have my Sammy back. And I'm never letting him go again.
Suddenly, Ella's phone rang, and Sam and I broke apart.
I rolled my eyes at Ella's ringtone, the same cheesy pop song she'd had for ages, and she stuck her tongue out at me as she answered her phone.
"Hey, Dev," she said, a smile on her face. It suddenly faded and her brow creased worriedly. "What's wrong? Is it the kids? Dev, ya gotta calm down; I can't understand what you're sayin'! Devon! Chill, honey, ya gotta—!"
Dean jerked the phone from her hand and put it to his ear. "Devon, it's Dean. You need to calm down and tell me what's wrong," he said sternly, and it seemed to work, for the rambling previously heard from the other end had stopped. "Okay. Devon. I want you to calmly tell me what's wrong. You think you can do that for me?"
As Dean listened to the frantic teenager, I glanced at Sam out of the corner of my eye and soaked in his appearance. He looked good—better than good, amazing.
Something was off, though. He held himself differently. Before, he had slouched slightly out of insecurity, but now he stood straight and proud, the perfect vision of confidence and self-assurance.
Why is this so unsettling to me? Shouldn't that be a good thing? He has confidence in himself. That's a good thing. It's totally a good thing.
But it's not your Sammy, is it? the voice said mockingly. It was becoming harder to ignore.
"Okay, what do these guys look like? Black eyes, flickering bodies, anything unusual?" Dean prompted the teen. "Tattoos? What kind of tattoos? Tribal?" He pulled the phone away from his ear momentarily. "The djinn?" he mouthed at Sam, who nodded. "Ah, shit."
"Devon, listen to me," Dean said urgently. "You and Jess need to take the kids and lock yourselves in the basement closet. You know which one I'm talkin' about? Good. There's a shotgun in there, too. I'm guessin' you already know how to use it, but don't unless you absolutely have to. We're a few hours away; we'll be there as soon as we can. Call me if anything else happens."
With that, he ended the call and tossed the phone back to Ella.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"We gotta get back to Abbeville," he announced. "Now."
1,976.
