Sorry, about the last chapter, hope this one's a little bit better.
at Anny Rodrigues: I know what you mean :) Thanks anyway.
I don't own anything.
Winter
Storybrooke – Present
The only thing keeping Regina from breaking down, was that she at least had something to do. A goal she could invest all her energy in. The days after Marian's return were spent either at her house or in her vault systematically gathering all the information she could find on the Snow Queen. So far the result was sobering. She read through every book she could think off, and even the ones that didn't have any indications about holding information about the Snow Queen. Her eyes were burning from reading in the dim light of her vault, protesting about being overused and denied the rest in peaceful sleep. She couldn't sleep, hadn't ever since the night in the Diner, she hadn't eaten either, even the thought of food made her nauseous. But Regina refused to admit that the way she treated herself was weakening her. It was hard to tell by simply looking at her, Regina took great care of making everyone believe she was just fine. God knows what Snow would do if she found out about it. So Regina made sure her make-up hid the bags under her eyes and the temperatures had dropped so low, Regina found it easy to hide her heavy weight-loss under thick clothes.
Of course she knew, that she couldn't keep this up forever, it was self-destructive, but really she didn't care about her health. It wasn't like anyone else did either. The vibration of her mobile made Regina look up from the narrowly scribbled words of the book she was currently reading.
'Gold and Belle found something' she read off the screen. Regina rose sluggish and her knees almost gave in. Having sat motionless on the ground next to the bookshelf in her vault had made her both cold and sore. Slowly but surely she made her way out and drove to Gold's shop.
She wanted to around and leave the second she set foot in Gold's store. Aside from the two idiots and their saviour daughter, there was Gold and Belle and of course Robin with his fair lady and wife. What she was doing here, Regina didn't know. She bit her tongue hard at seeing the fearful look in the young woman's eyes. From the way Emma talked to her in Diner Regina already knew that she had done something to her, most likely executed her, but hearing Emma explain it yesterday made it all the more real. And wasn't it just perfect? At least she didn't have to waste a single thought on the thief anymore. He'd surely hate her by now – no thought wasted on him but the ones about him and his Merry Men plotting her death that was.
She avoided even looking in the direction he was standing and concentrated on the bookworm instead. Before Regina could open her mouth however, Emma asked her if she had found anything.
Regina shook her head, „No luck so far, but do not worry the minute I do I will immediately call you, oh great saviour. Now, what have you found?"
Belle sighed, "Unfortunately we have found two stories about the Snow Queen, which are completely different. We thought maybe if you found something we could figure which one was closer to the truth."
Impatiently Regina motioned for her to continue.
"In the library I found the story of a kingdom called Arendelle. According to the book, the Ice Queen was their ruler. She was born with her powers but unable to control them. She accidently hit her sister with her magic, but they were able to save her and, following her parent's wishes, the Queen then hid her powers from the world. At some point she froze the entire kingdom and exiled herself. Her sister brought her back, but the Ice Queen inadvertently hit her again, freezing her heart this time. But an act of true love…"
Here Regina snorted disdainful, of course it was that crap about true love again.
"…can thaw a frozen heart and her sister was saved. The story goes on and even tells of the death of the Ice Queen. I don't know if it's the same person who came to Storybrooke."
Regina nodded and turned to Gold, honestly she was more hopeful about his discovery than Belle's.
Gold met her gaze and took it as his cue to start telling his story, "I found another story about the Snow Queen in one of my books. It is said that the devil forged a mirror, which reverses everything into his opposite, beautiful became ugly and good became evil. One day the mirror broke and the splinters spread over the world. A young boy, who had one splinter in his eye and another one in his heart, was captured by the Snow Queen and taken to her castle of ice. A friend of the young boy searched high and low for him and when she did find him he was already almost completely black from the cold. He was trying to form the word 'Eternity' with blocks of eyes, because the Snow Queen promised she'd let him go should he succeed. But the splinter in his eye prevented him from doing so. The girl cried for him and the word appears before them. When they reach their home, they have become adults. – However the tale contains barely any information about the Snow Queen herself," Rumpelstilstkin ended with a frown.
Regina stared at the both of them in disbelief, "This is it? That's why you brought me here? This is less than what I found, and I found nothing. A sweet children Disney story about two sisters and a story without any relevant information about what we're looking for. What a waste of my time! I should have stayed where I was. At least I still have some books left."
"We could look through them together?" Snow proposed hopefully.
Regina gave her a disgusted look, how was it possible for that woman to look at her with such eyes after all she did to her?
Robin had stayed quiet until now, but he agreed with Snow White loudly on this. Regina avoided his face at all costs and focused on the way Marina's hand had gripped Robin's upper arm. As if she'd wanted to hold him back, Regina thought bitterly, as if there was anyone who'd pick her, if there was any other choice. Not just any choice at that, but his first and only true love, the mother of his son and his wife, pure, lovely and gorgeous. Not tainted and broken like herself. Well, wasn't this a nice dose of reality for her?
Regina put them off, "Thanks, but I am quite able to handle it myself. Shouldn't take more than another day."
Regina was less than half a step from closing that forsaken door behind her, when Snow's voice stopped her, "Regina, how about catching a small break and eating at ours? Must be quite some time since got something to eat … and Henry's missing you."
She hesitated for a short moment at the mention of her son, but in the end left the store without looking back.
R&R
She hadn't even looked at him and she seemed perfectly fine, like their time together never happened, like he meant nothing to her. And maybe that was it, maybe he had simply imagined that their feelings matched, that she felt for him the way he felt for her, because he wanted it so bad – wanted her so bad. It wasn't fair, that she looked like this didn't even concern her at all, while he looked wrecked. Robin hadn't slept a wink since Marian's return and during the day he kept busy, desperate to do anything, no matter what. He avoided other people, everyone but his son, including Marian.
He lied next to her in the night and asked himself when it had started to feel wrong to sleep next to the woman he once decided would be his wife. The woman he had promised to love and protect and cherish forever. Not that he actually slept. Sleep was impossible. Every second lying in bed was spent thinking about another and the guilt was eating at him.
It killed him to see Regina while he wasn't able to reach out for her, feel her skin or her hair whenever he wanted. It killed him that she wouldn't even allow him to look into her deep, soulful eyes. He wanted to go to her, talk to her, and explain how hard this was for him. Explain that he didn't understand how she could have killed his wife, because it wasn't possible. Only yesterday he had talked to John, asked him if it was possible that Marian had still been alive when they left her.
"Robin, I honestly don't understand either. But I can tell you this: I was just as sure she was dead as you were. She was not alive… I don't really understand what happened, but maybe something Emma did in the past changed something? I don't know, mate, but Marian was not alive when we left that castle."
Marian had told him, that she woke up in the forest, not knowing how she got here. How she met Snow White and how she had helped her to repay her for her kindness, before trying to find a way back to him. How she had gotten captured by the Queen, paraded around and thrown into the dungeon. Without a doubt Regina most likely had killed her, but Marian had been dead! Robin was sure of it. So how could this happen? He simply wanted to talk to Regina, just a minute of her attention would do. But Marian didn't let him out of her sight, unless he had work to do and even then she insisted on accompanying him, they didn't interact but she kept close to him. And he couldn't blame her, this unknown world scared her. It scared her how much everything had changed, including Roland and himself. She was scared of the Queen. And so he let her, because he had once vowed to protect her and take care of her.
R&R
The Enchanted Forest – a few years before the first Dark Curse
"Hello? Can you hear me?" Snow White leaned over the young woman carefully not to disturb her. Two days ago she had found her in the woods and at first Snow had thought her dead until she saw her chest heave, almost invisible to the naked eye.
"Where am I?" the dark beauty tried to sit up dizzily. The movement hurt so bad that she sunk back. The wound on her stomach was not yet healed.
"Ah, sorry, but I'm afraid I'm not so sure about that myself. Not too far from the castle, I'd say," Snow looked around nervously at that. She fled from the palace a few weeks ago and didn't know the area good enough to dare run too far.
"I'm Marian."
"Snow White" she almost bit her tongue. She should have used another name.
Marian's eyes widen, "You're the princess, the rightful owner of the throne. Apologies, you Majesty."
Snow bit her lips. Legally that wasn't true, Regina was her father's wife and next in line for the throne, but most of the people wanted to see Snow on the throne.
"There is no reason to be formal. Snow will do. Might I ask what happened to you? When I found you, you were unconscious with a bad looking wound on your stomach, in the middle of nowhere. "
Marina looked at her unsure, "I'm not certain how I got here. I don't remember but… Oh, no! I need to find my way back to my family, they must think me dead!"
Snow held the anxious woman back softly, "I'm afraid you can't go yet. Your wound has not healed."
A few days passed until Marian was able to get up. During the time she was unable to do anything, she watched the princess struggle with the fire, how she clumsily tried to use a bow or the knife, which she had undoubtedly stolen from somewhere and how loudly the young woman made her way through the bushes.
Her decision was made, „Snow, I own you my life. I'd humbly request to repay the debt. I've lived in the forest for a long time and I can show you how to survive."
"Oh… thank you, but… you don't have to. You said you have family and I- I couldn't possibly keep you."
"I insist."
Relief flooded Snow's face. She felt bad for keeping Marian from her family but she was grateful for the offer. She could use all the help she could get, otherwise she wouldn't survive long.
R&R
Storybrooke, present
"I can't believe that you get along with the Evil Queen so well, all of the sudden," Marian took Robin's hand as they strolled down the street alongside the royal pair. Robin was distant and distracted but it didn't slip Marian's attention how Robin went rigid at the mention of the Evil Queen.
"Regina… she is no longer the same person she used to be," Snow explained and smiled at her. "Once you've gotten used to Storybrooke and spent some time here, you'll see for yourself."
The woman shivered at that and answered, "I' d prefer to see the Evil Queen as little as possible. She was incredible cruel, she laughed at my pain and my pleading."
Robin tensed even more beneath her fingers, "Don't worry, I'm here now. All is well." She whispered soothingly in his ear and he gave her a pained smile that did nothing to reach his eyes. Marian slowed down in order to stay behind the Charmings.
"Robin," she looked intently at him. „I know it's hard for you to believe that I'm here and well, but I am and I will not leave you again. I'm so happy to be with you and Roland again. When I was in the Evil Queen's prison, I sat there knowing I'd never see you again. I never thought I'd get a second chance to be with you."
Her eyes filled with tears and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Robin responded to her embrace slowly almost unwillingly because it took everything in him not to yell at her, something he never had wanted to do before, and tell her to stop calling Regina the Evil Queen. Her words resonated in his mind and his mind felt jumbled.
Second chance
Second chance
.
.
Second chance
"What do you see in me?"
"Hopefully the same thing you see in me. A second chance."
It was ironic how something that was meant positively, words that fit perfect for the moment could turn to poison so suddenly. Regina must think that whatever they had was over without any words needed. Of course she would, which fit her behaviour perfectly. A second chance… who needed that when the first one was back? Only it wasn't that easy for Robin. The only question was, why…
R&R
Henry rang the doorbell repeatedly. He hadn't seen his mother in two day and all he wanted was to hug her and ask her if she was ok. Regina had taken down the spell that kept the wall up the day after Marian's return and met him briefly when she was talking to David and Snow in their apartment. She had told him everything was fine and that she had lots of things to do and he should stay here. Henry had tried to coax her into letting him stay with her but she had not budged. Emma had told him that Regina was most likely still in the vault so he had insisting on checking there first, after finding it empty they had come to her house.
"Henry, maybe she already went to sleep," Emma tried to get her son to go home, where it was cosy and warm. It was freezing outside and she didn't want Henry to catch a cold. Emma had just finished the sentence when the door opened and Regina welcomed them in the doorframe.
"Henry?" Regina was surprised at the eager hug from her son. "Come on in and get warmed up."
Emma hid her disbelief. She hadn't expected Regina would ask her in as well. She had after all, basically destroyed her life… only Regina didn't appear fazed by what happened the last few days. Her appearance was perfection even if her behaviour was colder than before, but that wasn't really anything new. Emma couldn't make head or tail of it.
"Miss Swan, what brings you here?" Regina rose on perfect brow. Emma looked down. The renewed formality was an indication Regina wasn't dealing with it as well as she made it look. They had never been best friends, certainly would never be, but not too long ago Regina had taken up calling her 'Emma', now 'Miss Swan' coming from Regina's mouth made her feel like a stranger, an intruder.
She accepted the steaming cup of tea from Regina gratefully. "Henry wanted to see you," Emma shrugged.
The blonde couldn't decide what feeling was the worst at seeing Regina's face at the revelation that the child she had nurtured and raised for ten years, actually wanted to see her; guilt, misery, nausea or anger. She gulped down the too hot tea and her eyes feel on the crestfallen face of Henry and gave him an encouraging look. One that did nothing to help.
"Mom, can we help you with anything? We brought some of Granny's muffins" Henry gave his mom the packet and Regina smiled softly at him. She took the carton and placed it on the counter.
The silence that followed was uncomfortable and made Emma switch from one foot to another nervously.
"Can I stay here for tonight? I'd love to spent a night in my room and Emma and Killian could use some time together," Henry grinned hopefully and winked at his blonde mom, who flushed, either from embarrassment of from anger.
"Oh, Henry, I'd really like that, but right now is not a very good time. I wanted to go to the vault later and work through some of the books I didn't get to so far. I'd prefer not to leave you alone in the house," Regina patted his head affectionately.
Emma watched with growing uneasy how Henry's smile crumbled. Never before had Regina rejected the idea of spending some time with Henry. In all the time Emma had known her Regina had fought tooth and nail to keep Henry close to her. Something was not right.
"I think Henry's old enough to stay in the house alone for one night. Besides maybe you could take a break for one night or we could bring you books here and you can work in the house," Emma tried.
"Miss Swan, I understand you are eager to spent a night with the one-handed wonder, but still I don't like leaving my son alone in a house while a snowstorm rages, caused by a Snow Queen with unknown agenda. And if I wanted my books in my house they would be in my house. However some of the book' content is rather sensitive which is why I would prefer them to stay where they are," Regina's word cut like knives.
Emma stifled a sigh, "Regina, Henry would really like…"
"Mom, I really want to stay here."
Regina stepped to Henry and caressed his hair, "I'd like that too, my prince. But maybe we can reschedule? At least until we took care of this situation."
Henry didn't look like he agreed with his mother's words but Emma thought it best to let the topic rest for now. She didn't want Regina to burden herself with more than she already had to handle. "Come on, kid. I think Regina's right. We can try and reread the tale of the Snow Queen. Maybe Gold missed something."
The two of them left the house shortly afterwards despite Henry's continued protest. Regina watched them as they went into the car. After she closed the front door a wave of dizziness hit her, sleep deprivation and hunger made her see black spots for a few seconds. She really needed to eat something, Regina thought as she looked at her shaking hand. Regina stumbled her way into the kitchen and took one of the muffins Henry had got for her. A few long moments she simply looked at the sweet treat, at the thought of actually taking bite bile rose in her throat and she dropped the muffin untouched.
R&R
Emma burrowed her face in her hands after Henry finally and after a long fight had agreed to go to bed. He was angry with her and to a certain degree Emma could understand his frustration, Regina was suffering and it was more or less her fault.
"Don't take it so hear, love. He's a teenager and I'm sure all is forgotten soon," Killian sat down next to her and took her in his arms.
Emma leaned into his touch and allowed herself to draw comfort from him. She was grateful Killian had agreed to let her and Henry stay until they found their own place. Her parents hadn't been happy about it, but even they had to admit that having an infant waking up Henry every night wasn't optimal and so Emma and Henry were going to transfer their stuff here tomorrow. Henry resolutely refused, insisting he wanted to stay with Regina. And truthfully Emma would have taken that opportunity gladly, but right now that was out of question.
"That's not it," she hesitated for a moment. It wasn't easy for her to open up, which was the whole reason she had tried to keep Hook at distance for so long. "At least not completely… Do you think I made a mistake?"
He looked somewhat lost, "What do you mean?"
"You told me to leave Marian behind, to leave the past where it belonged. And I brought her here anyway."
He took her chin softly to make her look in his eyes, "Do you regret saving her life?"
"Of course not! It's just…"
"Would you do it again?"
Emma leaped up frustrated and paced the room, "That's the point. I don't know! I brought her here, because I wanted to save her, yes. But also because I thought that way, no one would get hurt. I thought it was the only way the future would not be affected. I shouldn't feel this way, I brought someone's wife back, and a child has gotten his mother back. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do! It doesn't feel right. And now I think that I should have thought this through more… Every magic comes at a price. What if the Snow Queen really is here because of that? What if that is the price? What if people will die because I thought I could go around playing with life and death, what if…"
Killian interrupted her with a kiss, "Calm down, love. You need to breath from time to time. I know I told you to let it be, but you are who you are and I don't want you to change. I know what happened to Regina was terrible, but she takes it well. And Robin and Roland have their family complete again. Who knows why the Snow Queen is here. And if it does have something to do with the time travel, we'll deal with it when it comes down to it."
Emma shook her head, "You really think so? You think Regina is taking this well? She basically just threw Henry out of the house! Something is not right! And does Robin look like he's happy? Have you seen him recently? He looks like a zombie! As if he hadn't slept in forever, he doesn't smile and is all depressed!"
Hook wasn't exactly sure what a zombie was, but it didn't sound like a good think and truly he didn't know what to tell her. "How about we talk to the crocodile? If someone knows the price of magic, it is the Dark One" he suggested, hoping that would lay at least one of her worries at rest.
Emma nodded, she should have thought about this sooner, but with the Snow Queen occupying all of her time, everything else was forgotten.
"Oh, you want to go right now?" Killian stared at her as she stood up and put on her jacket.
"Yep! I'll go over to Tinkerbell and tell her to look after Henry" Emma told him already halfway out the door. The fairy lived opposite of him in the same building. She had gotten him the apartment.
"Someday, Jones, someday you'll stop running after her," he mumbled while making his way to the door to follow his girlfriend.
Turned out the Gold's were not all too happy about the nightly visit and Emma was pretty sure Gold would have thrown them out, if it wasn't for Belle. But thanks to her they were seated around the table in the dining room, one nervous Emma, one annoyed Killian, one sleepy Belle and one very unhappy .
"Now, to what do I own the honour?" he asked finally. "Any developments regarding the Snow Queen?"
Emma shifted on her chair, "No, I just… I wanted to know… Is it possible that she's here because I brought back Marian? Or what will the consequences of that be? Because you keep saying that magic comes at a price and…"
Gold held up his hand to signal for Emma to shut up.
"Miss Swan, I do not know what the consequences of your actions will be. A life was saved, that should have ended. Maybe death will reclaim what's been taken from it or another life will be severed in its stead. Whether the Snow Queen is here because of you or not, I do not know," he lifted his shoulders. "It is possible; she did declare she was looking for her who gets in the way of fate. But I wouldn't be aware you're able to see the future, therefore I don't think she's her for you."
"I was only trying to do the right thing," Emma choked.
Rumpelstilstkin's eyes flashed dangerously, "Whatever lets you sleep at night, dearie."
Hook stood up and narrowed his eyes at Gold, "Emma did the right thing and saved an innocent life. Surely that's the kind of magic that doesn't demand a price."
Gold giggled, "The right thing? Miss Swan surely has done a lot, but the right thing was not one of those things. The right thing would have been to leave the past in the past where it belongs, no matter how painful it might be. She didn't do the right thing; she did the selfish thing, the thing she could live with easiest. The right thing isn't always the thing that makes you feel best about yourself; it means that sometimes we have to make a sacrifice. Miss Swan here, refused to do that. Whatever happens, there is a price to pay. Now get out of my house" Gold's voice lowered dangerously and honestly Hook wasn't sure what do reply. He hoped to find an ally in Belle, but when she averted her gaze, Killian realized, that she was actually agreeing with what Gold had just said.
Emma had started to shake next to him and Hook decided to get her out as fast as possible. Not one word was spoken between them as they made their way back. But before Killian could open the door to his building, Emma held him back, threw her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.
R&R
So tell me what you think.
On a side note: What Gold said, is actually what I think about it. It's not because it's Marian, no matter who Emma would have brought back I would have thought her an idiot. No offense but she really didn't think about it, at all.
