Note: Some words are going to be misspelled. That's because Iggy is drunk. Not because I can't spell.

England sat with his head laying on the hard wood of the bar, his hand clutching an empty glass, wet from condensation. On either side of him sat France and America, also holding their own glasses, though neither of them were in the state the Brit was.

England raised a lazy arm in an attempt to drink from the glass, only to find there was nothing left. "My drink is g...gone! When -hic- did tha happen? Wh-who drank my dr...drink?"

It had all started out innocently enough. France had invited America and England out for a drink or two after the conclusion of the meeting, not exactly an unusual offer for a couple of friends (Though as we all know, England would never admit to being friends with the Frenchman), and both nations had agreed to meet him at the bar.

The moment France announced he would be paying for it all, England had turned to the bartender and ordered the most expensive thing he could think of. Unfortunately, the most expensive also turned out to be the most alcoholic. Two or three of them later, heck, he was so drunk he couldn't even remember the name of it anymore, England found himself in a rather dream-like state.

"He...hey bar guy..." he addressed the bartender in his slurred speech, "I ne... I need another -hic- wan o'these!"

"Angleterre," France said quietly, patting the other nation on the back. "I think it's best if you don-"

"Damn frog! Do... don't tell me how to live my life!" England yelled back much louder than he probably should've as the bartender reluctantly handed him another glass of something the man probably should not be drinking.

America laughed and took a swig from his own drink. "Man, he's gonna have one helluva headache when he wakes up tomorrow!"

The only two words the drunken blond had understood from his former colony's mouth were "wakes up." Promptly, he slapped the younger boy across his face.

America gaped in shock and covered his injured cheek. "Wha... wha..."

"Dammit, America! NO ONE BLOODY CARES IF YOU WAKE UP FEELING LIKE P. DIDDY! NOW SHUDDUP!"

"What are you talking about?

A very distraught France put a hand to his forehead, sighing. Perhaps this hadn'tbeen the best way to get into England's pants tonight. Maybe if he could catch the other nation, he would be able to... wait. Where'd England go? When France looked up, he found an empty seat next to him, and an injured America, rubbing his head and cursing under his breath.

"Amérique... où avez-Angleterre aller?"

"Dude!" America said, sounding rather angry and annoyed. He stopped rubbing his head and practically glared up at the Frenchman. "I don't speak French! All I know is stuff like "hola" and crap like that."

"...That's Spainsh." France said bluntly, a bit annoyed that someone, even an idiot like America, would confuse his beautiful language with one so... unbeautiful like Spanish. It was bad enough that his brother had gone off and made his own version of French.

"WHATEVER!"

France sighed again. Apparently, America became easily annoyed after and/or while drinking. "Where. Is. Anglettere?"

"Oh. Well, he hit me, and then ran off somewhere..."

"ALL YA NEED IZ LOOOOOVE~ DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOO!"

"...Actually," America said in a worried tone. "I found him."

Both blond nations turned slowly turned around and to their horror, they had indeed found England. And he was having, as one might say a "jolly good time." Though others might say something such as, "He was slowly turning the place into a gay bar."

The latter statement was probably more accurate.

There were several shouts of "Whoo! Take it off!" as the drunk blond nation slowly and rather seductively unbuttoned his shirt whilst standing on top of a table. Someone took out their iPod and began playing some music (extremely loudly, by the way) for him to strip to.

The two nations heard the bartender mumble something along the lines of "Not again..." behind them before he went along his business, ignoring the scene as much as humanly possible.

America and France looked at each other slowly, then both scrambled off their stools and stumbled (hey, neither of them were exactly sober) over to the table before England was able to start working on his pants- he had already succeeded in ridding himself of his brown belt. America grabbed the older nation's legs, causing England to look down at him.

"A... America..." England said quietly after staring at the nation for a brief second, his eyes filling with tears. "You... you came back!" He fell down to his knees and embraced his colony in a too-tight-to-breathe hug. "I tuld them that -hic- stupid rev... rev'lution was justa phase!"

America let go of the other's legs and worked on getting himself free, and England looked up and his eyes met his rival's. "Fr... France is here, too. Can't be-be helped, guess."

The Frenchman was about to say something to redeem himself from the insult, but before he could, England stood, releasing America, and dropped his pants so he was standing in nothing but his boxers.

Several things happened next:

1. A chorus of cheers erupted from the crowd surrounding England
2. France grabbed the nearest drink, chugged it, and decided there was still a chance his plan would work
3. France jumped up onto the table and promptly began molesting the other nation
4. More cheering
5. America tried to pry France off England
6. The police (summoned by the bartender) showed up and arrested the three nations.

As the police dragged out- literally- England, he yelled repeatedly "I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" While America kept telling him to stop yelling in his ear.

And as for France, well, there were beds in jail, now weren't there? A creepy smile spread across his face as he thought about what he planned on doing to England. And what was better, now he had Amérique.

Omi-chan: Fail humor is fail. I am disappoint. I... I tried! I really did. Don't hate me.

On an unrelated note, however, thank you to everyone who has put this story on alert and faves (but it'd be nice if you'd review *hint hint*)! I hope that I can make it worth your reading time.

Someone last chapter asked what they could redeem Iggy points for? I have no idea yet, seeing as I never thought of them being redeemable. Just keep track of them and I'll figure out something. XD

Next up is... I honestly don't know. I have a long list, but I haven't picked one for next chapter. Suggestions?

Review~ And... I'll be happy? =D Just review!