"Thanks, Elliot," Kurt said and went upstairs, centering himself as he went , settling firmly into his role as Dom. There was a new sub waiting for him, someone he had never played with before, and more than that, someone inexperienced who was trying out the club and what it was like to be a sub. He knew he had a responsibility here, and he planned to not disappoint Elliot - or the young man waiting for him.
As he walked into the room, the sub was there, kneeling blindfolded on the floor. He fidgeted as if nervous, which he propably was, and Kurt walked around him, planning to try and calm him with a touch. But when he saw the sub's face, he stopped, his outstretched hand hovering in the air, suddenly useless.
Life, he thought, was made up of assumptions one made about oneself and others that had to be adjusted over and over again as one learned new things. A lot of times these were only little pushes, things that might surprise but were not too difficult too accept. He had, for example, thought about himself as a devoted romantic, and that he was able to not only enjoy, but also often engage in casual sex with men he had never seen before and probably would never see again was something he was quite surprised to discover about himself.
Other things were discoveries that might make the whole image one had of oneself just collapse like a house of cards. Being gay, for Kurt, had always been something he just was, never something he discovered about himself. It was still sometimes hard to accept, but that had always been because of the reactions of others, not because he had to reinvent himself. He knew that for others, that might be different, and he knew it had been incredibly painful for the young man now kneeling before him. His world had collapsed when he had been forced to face his homosexuality, and, Kurt imagined, probably had been badly shaken when he found he was submissive.
Kurt had no desire to do a scene with him. He had been a bully, the main source of the misery Kurt had felt in high school, and though he had long since been forgiven, it was nothing that made him attractive to him.
But he had always felt bad that he had not been there, had not been able to be there for him when he had to come to terms with his sexuality. Maybe he could help him come to terms with this, this new part of himself he had discovered, not as his Dom, but as someone to talk to.
So he finally moved his hand again, to take the blindfold off the eyes of the man kneeling before him, and smiled as his eyes widened with surprise.
"Hi, Dave," he said.
