Hetalia: Axis Powers is entirely the creation and work of Hidekaz Himaruya.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

In the White House, more specifically the Oval Office, there were some phones that only were meant for certain phone calls. Every President had been briefed on the purpose of each of these phones as they had been added over the years, each met with equal degrees of respect, concern and for a couple a dread of ever hearing them ring. One of these phones had the annoying habit of ringing more than the rest, and as the President looked at it once again he wondered just what his Nation was calling the 'emergency line' about today.

"Alfred." The President greeted.

"Hey Chief, uh, you remember how I was visiting my Bro?" Alfred began.

The President did indeed remember this, he had actually been rather looking towards the visit so he could enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. Without any World Meetings going on, his Nation could get up to all sorts of mischief that quite often involved trips to Groom Lake to visit Tony, trying to build a Giant Robot with the aid of Japan, or as of last week re-enacting the Wright Brother's first controlled flight with North Carolina (albeit somehow adding rockets, which ended up getting the Air Force scrambling jets to intercept them). Then there was the time he'd gone over the Falls in a canoe with New York and Ontario along for the ride.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, the tone his nation was using was the one he had quickly become accustomed to early on in his administration which meant trouble. How he could get into trouble at his brothers home he didn't want to know, but being the POTUS meant having to ask the tough questions.

"What did you do this time Alfred?" The President asked.

"Why do you gotta jump to conclusions that I did something, I just might have been calling to see how you're doing? So Chief, how ya doing?" Alfred fired back flaunting false hurt.

Sighing deeply and humouring his Nation, he leaned back in his chair and really considered the question while toying with a pencil and wondering if he could launch it into the ceiling like he used to do during cram sessions back in his Harvard days. Somehow though he had to think he might get in trouble for defacing the Oval Office even if he was the POTUS. Tapping the eraser against his lip, maybe being a benign troublemaker for once was worth it given all the trouble his Nation got into. Flip, twirl, score...he hadn't lost his touch.

"Aside from the Frat Houses and Sororities that the States residences have become, which was only exasperated by Alberta, Ontario and British Columbia visiting..." The President started, reaching for another pencil to give it another go, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"They threw a party and didn't invite me!?" Alfred again sounded hurt though this time it was utterly real.

Drumming with another pencil and admiring the five speared into the ceiling, the President had to be thankful that the most any President could serve could be two terms. He loved being the POTUS, but there were times he wondered if there wasn't another reason the Founding Fathers had decided upon this, namely having to suffer keeping Alfred in check. It would figure it was during his administration that the States started to personify, making the problem just that much harder.

"...I am doing well Alfred. Can we get back to the reason you're calling?" The POTUS had also learned that he had to keep his Nation from getting sidetracked, which he didn't fault Alfred for actually.

Truthfully, being the truly Human Head of State for The United States of America was quite the balancing act without the people he represented influencing him so deeply as they did Alfred. If it hadn't been for all those words of advice his Northern counterpart, the Canadian Prime Minister had offered, he would have been really worried for his Nation thinking maybe he was coming undone at the seams with the States rise. Apparently Canada had been dealing with this ever since Quebec came so close to separating in that one referendum, and only mentioned it now. Sneaky Canucks.

"Well, it was just sitting there and Mattie didn't want it, so I asked him if I could have it and he said yes..."

Apparently in all his thought over the States and the problems they were causing him trying to do a Hollywood Remake of Animal House he hadn't noticed his Nation explaining the reason for the call. So far what he had heard wasn't good.

"...so then Iggy tells me it's really Excalibur and I -really- Knighted them and just maybe that now I'm -really- the True King of Britain." Alfred finished after some mumbled glossed over points that were rather suspicious.

"Let me get this straight..." The POTUS began after a long pause to gather up all the details as he was sure of them.

"Go fer it." Alfred prompted.

"You found a sword in your brothers backyard, plucked it out of a stone and then proceeded to Knight two Nations, all while becoming the True King of Britain which leaves me thinking I am about to have a very curt phone call from Her Majesty in the near future?" The President asked, his hand reaching for his Emergency Bourbon in the one desk drawer feeling the sudden need of a stiff drink.

"Cliff Notes, totally happened like that along with Franny having a guillotine that looked like it could shave some coastline off Florida if you know what I mean."

The President did know what he meant and he had his hand reaching down to guard his own 'Florida' in ghost pain at the horrific and horrible imagine just painted. Downing his bourbon and pouring another, he sipped this one slowly trying to piece out the ramification of this whole situation. Shuddering, this was something that he wasn't about to try and figure out alone, perhaps it was time for a little FACE to face with a couple of Prime Ministers and another President. Firstly though...

"Get this sorted out Alfred, goodbye." The POTUS said, promptly hanging up.

As his hand rested on the phone, he looked at another one that was very tempting to call right just then. Just one phone call to some gentlemen under the employ of the United States Government, a little flash of light and he could just forget that phone call had ever happened. Sadly, right along with asking Tough Questions he was there to deal with situations like this even if it meant a rather matronly woman might be using very unladylike language the next time he talked with her.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

"Woo! I didn't get fired!" Alfred cheered after hanging up the phone.

"You can't get fired Alfred." Matthew groaned.

Surveying the room, Francis was making use of his guillotine to chop carrots for the stew he was cooking, every time the blade fell making him whimper in fear for Florida. Iggy was texting away madly and taking times to glare up at him, muttering a few curses...which could mean something utterly different than swearing when it came to the English Nation. At least his bro was looking to be feeling better after his little breakdown Alfred had to admit.

"So he just said to get it sorted..." Alfred began.

CHOP.

"...out. Can you...you sure you don't have enough carrots cut up Francis? Franny?" Alfred asked.

CHOP.

"Her Majesty would like me to pass along a message to 'my Liege'." Arthur interrupted.

"What's the message?" Alfred asked, thankful for any distraction from the grandfather of the Slap Chop.

Peering at the offered phone, Alfred started reading the lengthy text and started to grow pale the further he went.

"Did she really teach the Corgis to do that?" Alfred shrieked as he got to the bottom.

"I think it was Harry actually, but she found it useful for dealing with the Paparazzi." Arthur clarified.

"Why's everyone out for Florida today!?" Alfred whined.

CHOP.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

Thanks for the reviews and to everyone who has enjoyed it so far, hope you all got a giggle outta this update. Toodles!