Say Anything

Hermione woke up the next morning feeling better than she had the night before. Taking a few deep breaths, she relished the softness of the sheets against her skin and the warmth it seemed to radiate. She smiled and pulled up her arms to stretch them above her when her left hand got stuck under the covers. Suddenly the room seemed to change from vibrant morning colors to dull grays as she remembered the previous evening's events.

She managed to free her hand from the thread that her engagement ring had snagged on. Bringing it to eye level she moved her hand around to examine the different colors the diamond reflected back to her almost mockingly. Fighting the urge to rip the ring off and throw it across the room she sat up and set about getting ready for the day.

By the time lunch came around, Hermione had completely forgotten Ron's mentioning of grabbing a bite to eat with her that day and nearly jumped out of her skin when he popped into the kitchen where she was seated going over her newest project.

"Ron!" Hermione put a hand to her chest to calm her beating heart. Ron chuckled and leant forward and stole a quick peck from her.

"Sorry I scared you; I thought you'd be getting ready for lunch… But clearly…" he walked over to the paperwork Hermione had in front of her and shuffled through the papers with benign interest, "you're still busy." A small frown formed on his lips and Hermione felt a small guilty tug pull at her heart that had a lot more to do with her thoughts from the previous day than forgetting about their lunch date.

"No, no…" she said hastily getting up, "I was just finishing up, and you know me, working till the last possible second… I'm about to get ready now, I'll only take a few minutes." She waved her wand and her papers vanished.

"So how was your day?" Hermione shouted from her room as she rifled through her wardrobe trying to find a decent top to wear to lunch.

"Brutal!" Ron answered from his spot on the couch where he was flipping through channels on Hermione's television. "We took our exams this morning, then we had a few minutes to go over some battle strategies and then they sent us into the Auror Training Room where they cleared everything out to do this sort of obstacle course. Harry did fantastic, as usual." Ron bit out the last bit and Hermione sighed. Ron must've not done too well.

She pulled on a flowery top, her favorite pair of jeans, and slipped her feet into her most comfortable sandals before emerging into the living room to find Ron scowling at the news reporter on TV.

"And how did you do?" Ron's scowl seemed to deepen at her words.

"Lousy." He muttered. Hermione sat beside him and placed an arm around his shoulders.

She felt horrible for him. Not just because he didn't do as well as he could have, but because she knew the way he still felt about Harry overshadowing him to this day. He'd been like this since school and despite everything they'd been through together, Ron was still jealous. Hermione could only imagine how he'd feel if he ever found out what happened between her and Harry years ago or if he could read into her thoughts and feelings about Harry now. Hermione shuddered at the thought.

"Oh Ron, it's not that bad is it? You still have five more exams to go and five more of these obstacle courses. I'm sure you'll do better next time." She patted his leg comfortingly, but he didn't seem to notice. "When's it anyway?" Hermione asked hoping to change into a new subject.

"In another month, just before the anniversary of the battle at Hogwarts and Victoire's birthday, which, by the way, we're invited to." Thanking Merlin in her head Hermione quickly began talking about what they should get Victoire for her birthday and by the time they were headed out the door to their favorite muggle restaurant down the street, Ron's mood had lightened considerably.


The weeks seemed to pass in a flurry of activity for Hermione; a day did not go by where she did not hear from Ron's mother, or her own, about the wedding she should be planning.

While Mrs. Weasley was pressuring Hermione to start a guest list and to start thinking about themes, her own mother was on the other end of the spectrum pressuring her to hold off the wedding for as long as possible.

Hermione, while at first, was relieved to have her mother take a similar stance to her own, soon realized that her reasons for wanting Hermione to wait were for much different reasons than she could have anticipated.

After having lunch with Ron, he reminded her about the fact that she had yet to tell her parents about their engagement. Hermione quickly called her mother as soon as they returned to her flat and told her the news explaining everything that had occurred from the night before.

Mrs. Granger was surprised to say the least, but not nearly as jubilant as Hermione had expected her to be. They quickly made plans for Hermione and Ron to visit that evening for a small celebratory dinner.

Half an hour before they were supposed to leave to Hermione's parents home Ron owled explaining a work hold up and a scribbled apology that he wouldn't be able to make it to dinner. Hermione was a little upset at the fact but decided a quiet dinner with just herself and her parents was something she actually wanted to do.

Her parents were not too surprised that Hermione showed up on her own that evening since Ron had a habit of finding his way out of visiting her parents for some reason, a pattern that her parents had picked up on quickly and one Hermione didn't really seem to notice until it was pointed out to her. When she confronted Ron about this, he had explained that he always felt a little out of sorts when he visited Hermione's childhood home. He was not used to muggle customs and always felt like he was going to embarrass himself. Therefore he liked to avoid all visits when he could.

"You'd think since he just proposed to you that he'd make an appearance just this once to at least ask for our blessing, but I guess that was just too much to ask for…" Hermione's mother said as she served potatoes on Hermione's father's plate.

Hermione was leaning against the counter, her eyes focused on the wall in front of her that held pictures of herself at varying stages of her childhood.

She agreed with her mother on this, but didn't have any energy to defend Ron as she usually did.

Noticing this, her mother set down the plate not full of food and wiped her hands on a kitchen towel.

"Hermione…" her mother turned to her, concern etched into her features, her arm reaching out and her hand resting on her daughters shoulder. Hermione knew she couldn't hide her feelings from her mother. She never wanted to hide anything from her parents again as she had during the war when she had sent them away for their own safety. It had taken months for them to get a handle on everything when Hermione had found them and reversed the spell she had cast upon them. They had been very angry with her once they got their memories back even though they understood why Hermione had done what she had done. It had been a difficult time for her, trying to get her parents trust and love back. Ron had been a surprising help at the time and since Harry had kept his distance since their last talk, she had no one else to turn to and completely relied on Ron to get her through that time.

She remembered vowing to whatever higher power there was that she'd never hide anything from her parents again and had kept that promise, to an extent. After all, the only people who knew about her feelings for Harry were she and possibly Harry.

But Hermione couldn't reveal this to her mother, a woman who had known from the beginning Hermione's feelings towards the youngest Weasley boy. The one who had made her first few weeks at school miserable by pointing out how she had no friends because she was a know-it-all. The one who turned her back against her third, fourth, and sixth year. The one who she had secretly been in love with so many years and when he seemed to mirror her feelings, had turned around and left her alone in a forest crying out for him to come back.

Her mother did not know this last part and Hermione couldn't bring herself to tell her. She knew if she did, Ron would just look that much worse in her parent's eyes.

Hermione looked down at the floor, avoiding her mother's gaze.

"What did Harry say when Ron proposed?" Hermione's eyes snapped back to her mother's and she suddenly felt dizzy with confusion and worry. Did her mother know? Was she that transparent?

"H-he was, ahem, he was very happy for us." Hermione managed to choke out. She knew she wasn't convincing but her mother simply gave her a tight smile, picked up the plates full of food and took them into the dining room for dinner.

The rest of the night was rather tense for Hermione. Her mother insisted that she wait at least a few years before Hermione got married to Ron.

"I just think you need to wait and see what happens between the two of you." These words both infuriated and scared Hermione. She knew the implication of her mother's words meant that she did not believe that their relationship would last. Not because she didn't love Ronald, because she did, but because Hermione was more in love with someone else. That was the part that infuriated her. Hermione could barely admit it to herself that her feelings for Harry were more than friendly, least of all admit it to anyone else.

Just thinking about anything to do with Harry lately sent her mind into a tailspin so to have her mother bring it up right in front of her did not bode well with her. She knew deep down that the anger and frustration she was emitting towards her mother wasn't really intended for her, but she couldn't help it!

The anger didn't end with her mother either, it seemed to take on a life of its own and extended towards everyone and everything in her life for the next few weeks. Ron thought it was because he didn't go to her parent's house with her and apologized profusely, even going as far as calling Hermione's mother to apologize. When he gave her the phone to talk to her, the first words she heard were, "Have you spoken to Harry lately?" Hermione bit her tongue to keep from screaming at her mother in front of Ron and simply went with, "Mother, I'll talk to you tomorrow." And hung up the phone rather harder than she intended sending it to the floor where it broke. She very nearly screamed, but Ron was quick to keep that from happening and muttered Reparo! before Hermione could do so much as squeak.

If her mother wasn't enough, Ron's mother called almost on a daily basis to insist on setting up meetings with wedding dress consultants and cake tastings. Where did this woman get off? They hadn't even set a date yet. Ron was too busy with his training to bring it up and Hermione simply added projects to her list to have an excuse not to start any sort of planning.

It wasn't until Victoire's birthday party that Hermione thought she could finally relax. Ron had done better this time on his exam and obstacle course for the Auror Academy which made things so much easier for the both of them.

Hermione was actually excited to see Ron's family, despite the fact that his mother would be there, but she'd be fussing over Victoire so much she'd probably ignore her; at least, that's what Hermione was hoping.

Thirty minutes into the celebration, Hermione found that she was enjoying herself. She helped Fleur with the activities for the kids and with serving food to the guests. She was in her element when she was giving out instructions to the kids about the muggle game duck-duck-goose when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

She fully expected it to be Ron, he'd been helping her surprisingly through the past few games and had just gone to the loo, but instead she found Harry. Hermione's brain seemed to stop all functioning, her heart sped up ten times the speed it should have been, and her stomach twisted into many uncomfortable knots.

She'd had a similar reaction earlier when she had seen Harry across the room at her arrival to the party but had quickly volunteered to help Fleur to avoid saying hello to him.

They stood quietly for a moment, the children around Hermione had forgotten the few instructions she had given and happily began their own game.

Harry spoke first.

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly. Hermione tried to read his expression, but could find nothing. He looked quite indifferent to wanting to speak to her. There was no urgency in his voice, no kind of plea, nothing. Anger boiled in the pit of her stomach and she considered saying no and ignoring him, but curiosity got the best of her. What did he have to say to her? He hadn't spoken to her since the engagement, and little even before that.

She nodded her head quickly and turned on her heal leading the way out the back door of Bill and Fleur's cottage. They walked for about a minute before Hermione stopped near the dunes where Harry had buried Dobby. If she squinted she could just make out his gravesite.

"So, what is it that you have to say to me Harry?" her voice was cold. She wanted to sound indifferent, but she couldn't help but let her emotions betray her through her tone.

"I just wanted to ask you something." He was looking past her, back towards the house. His eyes were always the most expressive part of him and the indifference he had been betraying earlier could no longer mask the emotions he held there. Hermione's anger towards him for ignoring her seemed to cool slightly and she could feel herself holding her breath.

"Why are you marrying Ron?" her breath left her in a whoosh as if someone had knocked it out of her. Whatever she had been expecting Harry to say was not that. In fact, she wasn't sure about what he was going to say to her at all.

"What do you mean?" she asked stupidly, unprepared for such a question. Harry frowned.

"What else could I mean Hermione? Why are you marrying him? Why'd you say yes?" Hermione narrowed her eyes and studied Harry intently. He was serious. He wanted to know why she wanted to marry Ron. Why she had said yes.

How dare he!

"You have no right to ask such a thing Harry Potter! We haven't spoken properly in weeks, and you've completely ignored me since Ron proposed! I don't understand it, I just don't!" her voice was almost shrill and it hurt even her own ears. Harry winced and shut his eyes before he continued to speak.

"I wanted to talk to you Hermione; it's just that, I didn't think you wanted me to say anything to you. I didn't know what to say actually." He amended.

"Don't try and make this about me not wanting you to talk to me, you know you were the one who made it very clear how you felt about us speaking." The mention of the last time they spoke seriously seemed to change something in Harry, his eyes softened while Hermione's hardened.

"Oh, how quickly we forget." Hermione said, her voice taking on a razor edge.

"Hermione, I'd just survived the war for Merlin's sake! And you were with Ron! You kissed him right in front of me in the castle! What was I supposed to say when we were at the lake, that I didn't want you to be with Ron? That we were both making mistakes? That I'd been in love with you since I was 16 years old?" Harry's face was flushed red with anger. He was nowhere near indifferent now.

Hermione's heart was beating fast again.

"You should have said something." She whispered. He'd never mentioned any of what he had just said that night had gone so much differently than she had hoped it would.


Hermione watched Harry whisper something to Ginny and leave the Great Hall. Ron was sitting with his family so Hermione got up and followed Harry out onto the grounds.

The sun was shining brightly; it was just after noon she expected.

Stomach churning uncomfortably, Hermione walked closer to Harry who was standing under the beach tree by the lake. She wasn't sure what she had followed him out here for, she wasn't sure what they were going to say to each other, and she wasn't sure what she wanted to hear either.

"So, you and Ron." Just like Harry to get to the point at a time like this. Hermione studied him quickly. He was covered in dirt, blood, and grime, she was sure she looked no better.

"So, you and Ginny." She mimicked. He turned to her, a small smile playing across his lips, Hermione smiled in return. They had so much to look forward to now. A future free of a war they had been thrust into so young. There were so many possibilities for them now, a whole new world they had only dreamed of. The question was what were they going to do with it now? Or rather, who were they going to share it with?

"Look, Harry, I need to say something before I lose my nerve-" her words came out in a rush, but Harry seemed to be in his own world, because he spoke over her, cutting her off effectively.

"You chose Ron tonight and I'm happy for you, I knew it would happen eventually, we all did," he chuckled softly, his smile not reaching his eyes, "and I've chosen Ginny, I love her," he added almost as an afterthought, "and what happened in the tent, we'll never talk about it again. I know Ron would never forgive us, and I wouldn't blame him, so I think we should just never speak about it… again. I know we've talked about this before but this time, this time it's different."

Hermione was still. She did not speak. Her thoughts were jumbled and she felt confused.

Harry took her silence as acquiescence.

"I mean, it was all a mistake after all. You said so yourself." His words had a bitter bite to them that Hermione almost did not notice.

Almost.

Hermione had said those words, yes, but out of anger and frustration. She's wanted to hurt Harry in a way, but she also wanted to coax him into saying that what happened between them wasn't a mistake. But he hadn't.

She wanted to say something, but her throat felt closed up, and her mouth wasn't working. Harry was staring at her now, waiting, but she said nothing.

"So it's settled then. We never mention this again." And with that he turned away from her back to the castle and back to Ginny.


"You should have said something Hermione. I waited for you to say something, anything! I wanted you to tell me that you didn't love Ron, that you wanted to be with me. Didn't you want that, didn't you want to be with me?" Hermione's eyes began to sting and that familiar feeling of her throat closing up was happening. But she couldn't let that happen. It already happened once; she couldn't let it happen again.

"I wanted you to tell me you loved me." She finally managed. Harry's eyes brightened and he moved forward to grab her, but she flinched from him and he put his arms down.

"It's too late now Harry." What was she doing? It wasn't too late? Why was she saying this? The brief light in Harry's eyes vanished, and instead they turned dark and empty. Hermione hadn't seen him look like this in so long. She hated that she was doing this to him, but what else could be done?

"I'm going back." She meant to the party but she knew what Harry understood. She was going back to Ron, back to her fiancé. Hermione desperately wanted to look back at him as she reached the cottage and stood at the very spot where she told Harry what had happened had been a mistake all that time ago.

For a moment she had the urge to turn and run back towards him, but then it passed. Suddenly children were yelping at her waist and she brushed the few tears that had fallen hastily from her cheeks, pasting a smile on her face and turning back to the party.