A/N: Watching Game of Thrones again, this time with my brother, has proven a surprisingly pleasant experience. I don't think I've ever seen a TV show incite such intense rage in him before to the point that he's flailing about and falling out of his chair. It's quite an entertaining activity.
But enough about me…Onward!
From: TitanOfStone
Q: Allen throws up. Yup! That's how you react to a beef stew entrails! And Cas, why don't you have any more witty remarks... Well, given the situation, just saying "Fuck" is the best darn thing you can do :v
On an off note, a hole in the heart causes either massive blood loss and lowered cardiac output OR cardiac tamponade if Teases only eats the heart but not the pericardium ;) can you explain which one? Just nerd curiosity. Skip if you want!
And the angst, mand, after that last chap I don't think there'll be one. You never fail to IMPRESS! Keep up the good darn work, garl, I'll be rootin' out for ya! And I'll be waiting here with great interest :D
A: What else can be said at the sight of your own mutilated entrails stewing about in an open chest? It's like having surgery while conscious. Oh gosh, I think that's a question for Hoshino, not me, but my guess would be that it's the former. Of course there's angst! There's always going to be angst. Thanks so much, I'm glad I'm impressing you. I'm thrilled to hear it:D
From: AmericaNidiot
Q: Cas, you ass, borrowed time or not! Kiss that shortstack!
A: *Snort* I laughed far harder at this than I probably should. In due time, my friend, in due time…
QUESTIONS FOR CAS AND ALLEN
Me: We have a series of questions from TitanOfStone, guys.
Cas: Hit me…us.
Me: First: "Cassandra, how the FUCK do your organs get enough blood supply? If you had your Innocence heart, I'd understand that there's this passive flow going on. But you do NOT have, so tell me! I'm a nerd and a perfectionist and this BOTHERS the shit outta me D:"
Cas: Ehhhhnnnnn…..Magic?
Me: Here, I'll answer this: essentially, fragments of Innocence are lingering in her Bloodstream from when her heart was shattered and are sustaining the organs to their barest minimal function. I suppose you could say her Blood is being continuously recycled. Honestly, it's best not to question it too much.
Cas: So, magic.
Me: This next one's for Allen: "Allen, Allen... A fair word o' warning, take good care o' your head or a girl might cut it off ;) *Mwahahahaha*"
Allen: *ducks behind Cas's wheelchair* Why would they want to do that?!
Me: I'm not really sure. And another question for Cas: "To a less serious question. Now that I've requested you be shown Chibi Allen, Cas. Author! Show Cas chibi Kanda, Lavi and Tyki too! Especially Kanda with cat ears and tails! :D - Let Allen see this too. Wanna know what he thinks ;)"
Well, here they are!
Cas: Ooh! Gimme, gimme!
Allen: What are those?
Cas: Chi-something
Me: Chibi
Cas: Whatever. They're fucking adorable.
Allen: Wait, is that supposed to be Kanda?!
Cas: Yep!
Allen: Don't ever let him see these. He'd skewer you!
Cas: Oh, I can take that Boy Toy. I'm keeping these by the way.
Me: Sure, and here's another question for you: "Cas, what kind of food do you love most? Main dish and sweet, please?"
Cas: Oh, I hate this question. I love any and all foods, and I'm trying new ones almost every day! I guess I've always been a fan of beef like hamburgers and steak. I also like pasta and gnocci. Of course I like a lot of German foods like sausage and perogi and such. Though I also really enjoyed the cuisine we had in China. I can't pick just one! As for dessert….Chocolate cake, definitely.
Me: Well, I guess that basically answers the question. Now last one: "Also, Cas-san, ever heard of Murphy's Law? I think that might have to become your new... Erm, what was it, catchphrase or something? (Ps. Murphy's Law, in simplest terms, states that Everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong ;)"
Cas: *Snort* There is so much truth to that.
Allen: Seriously.
Cas: Gah! Allen, don't lean on the back of the chair, the wheels aren't locked
Allen: Sorry, sorry!
Me: Well, I suppose that's enough for now. Let us continue.
Chapter 3: The Tea of Truth
Bak leads Allen and me through the winding, shadowed halls of the massive Asia Branch along with Won, Fo, Rikei, Shifu and Lou Fa, the latter of whom is pushing my wheelchair.
I glance up at the ceiling as I go, barely able to see it as it's stone surface is masked in a shadowed gloom that is almost foreboding. All along the wall are rows and rows of doors lining each floor. The clamor of hundreds, maybe thousands of voices mix with the echoing rushing water.
It makes me feel very small; the Asia Branch is far more physically imposing than its European counterpart had been upon first impression.
I tilt my head up, straining to see the end of it, but I can't.
"This place is huge."
"The building was originally a hidden Buddhist temple built thousands of years ago," Won explains to me, "Even now, it's still expanding. This Branch has a larger Science Department than even Headquarters."
Fo grins cheekily. "Better make sure you don't get lost. One time, a guy was lost in these halls for over a week and nearly starved to death."
Allen pales. "I…get lost easily."
"That's enough, Fo," Bak barks from the front of the procession.
Somehow, the Branch Chief manages to navigate through the massive maze of rooms and corridors, and we eventually find ourselves before a gigantic wooden door set with gold carvings. There's nothing out of the ordinary about it from a first impression, but a strange feeling starts to settle across me the longer I stare up at it, making the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stand up on end.
Bak raises his hand to open it, but then pauses, glancing back at the rest of us.
"Best not to take too deep a breath. You don't want this stuff getting in your lungs."
With that comforting suggestion, he pushes on the wood, and the doors slide open with an eerie creak that echoes throughout the chamber beyond.
Almost instantly, a cloud of strange ethereal mist spills out of the room and into the hall to instantly surrounds us. I clap a hand over my mouth as my next inhalation is impeded by it. The strange smoke, no not smoke and not really mist either.
It doesn't feel warm or cool or wet, it's not from water or fire, from some other element entirely.
I'm pushed on into the room after Allen, who's trailing behind Bak and Won.
I soon see that the strange substance lingers here even thicker: a dense, pearly cloud that floods ever inch of the space.
Allen gapes up at the ceiling, shrouded by the clouds, "What's in this room? What is this stuff?"
Bak looks at him, his face grave. "This is the Innocence that used to be your left arm."
Allen jerks his head towards him, his expression a mixture of shock and horror.
Rikei glances around, his own mouth hanging open. "This mist?"
"It's not mist," Bak asserts, "The Innocence has lost its form, so it's been reduced to particles: dust, if you will."
I glance down at my splinted hand resting in my lap; the fingers on my one remaining hand are shaking, and there are pins and needles racing throughout my entire body, circulating in my diluted Bloodstream.
"Normally, when Innocence is reduced to a power like this, it eventually disappears," Won adds, "But this Innocence was a bit different. It has yet to lose its power as a crystallization of God."
"When I found you to in the forest, this mist was surrounding you, almost shielding your bodies," Fo grumbles, "Thanks to that, I couldn't see where I was going and almost didn't make it here."
Allen shakes his head in disbelief. "Even in this state, it's still alive?"
Bak smiles slightly. "Is that so hard to believe? Given that Cas's Innocence is also nothing but ashes, and yet she still lives and breathes."
Allen glances at me. I smile weakly in response. He then turns back to Bak.
"But why did our Innocence do this?"
The Branch Chief shrugs. "I'm sorry, but the information we have on all this is pretty limited; for now, that's about all we know. Even Komui didn't expect it; he was speaking in rather unscientific terms, which is quite rare for him. He said that the two of you are 'special cases', that you are 'beloved by God'."
At his words, I return my attention to my hand, flexing my fingers experimentally in an attempt to distill the shaking.
Beloved by God, huh?
Bak then steps closer to Allen, "Now then, Allen Walker, you are now going to activate your scattered Innocence and bring back your Anti-Akuma Weapon."
Allen blinks, startled at the abruptness of his words.
As am I, but since we are pressed for time, I suppose it makes sense.
Bak smirks knowingly, "If you can retrieve your weapon, you can fight once again."
The surprise quickly filters out of Allen's face and he resets his resolve, his jaw clenching as he squares his shoulders.
"Yes, sir."
He then goes and walks to the center of the room, his slippered feet padding lightly across the polished purple tiles.
As I look on, I can't help but get the impression of Allen standing amidst the translucent ashes with his fair skin and stark white hair as almost some kind of specter drifting through a fog.
He closes his eye and takes a deep breath.
I bit my lip, anxious. If I could cross my fingers, I definitely would have.
Allen then reopens his eyes and raises them to the ceiling, staring into the thickest part of the cloud of Innocence.
As he does so, a great howling slowly builds up from the force around him as it begins to spin, moving around his form like a steadily forming tornado.
"Whoa! It's like a whirlpool's forming around him!" Rikei shouts over the wind.
"Allen…" I jerk slightly forward in my chair. Lou Fa grips my shoulder to steady me. I glance back at her and she smiles reassuringly.
I look back at Allen just as the Innocence picks up speed, tearing through his hair and clothing as it screams like a storm in our ears.
Allen then calls out over it, "Innocence, activate!"
There's a burst of familiar pale green light that forms in a brilliant flame around Allen's left shoulder, fragmented but still blazing with intensity as the churning Innocence swarms the light building between Allen's flesh and its ashes.
"The Innocence is responding to him," Shifu exclaims.
As I look on, I realize my mouth is hanging open slightly and I quickly close it as the Innocence continues to build and build around Allen, causing the light to grow brighter and brighter. Allen's pushed back ever so slightly, bearing down against the force of it. He grits his teeth as the light begins to move and fester, taking on a shape with long clawed fingers.
I jerk forward again, "That's his arm!"
The ashes swarm together like a million tiny fireflies, bonding one upon the other into a solid, crystalline form, like water freezing to ice as it meets the winter's chill.
Allen's grey eyes almost seem to glow as he's nearly swallowed by their brilliance.
"Return!" he commands, "Return!"
The crystal spreads, more and more of it layering across the ashes, the raw power taking shape: from the tips of the finger all the way to the bulk of the shoulder. It comes into being again: Allen's left arm: massive, as silver as his eyes with hard, almost scaly skin and a brilliant emerald glow.
Allen face breaks into a triumphant grin.
"I did it!"
"His Innocence has been restored," Bak breathes in disbelief.
The arm takes form, but then suddenly the light flares almost blindingly.
CRACK!
Allen cries out as the arm's form suddenly explodes and the fragmented particles are blown apart like shattered glass being torn through by a bullet from a gun.
He's knocked backward off his feet as the light blinks out and the shattered Innocence is left to drift around him like dust in the dessert.
"Allen!" I rush forward instantly, forgetting myself and of course fall hard onto my knees, crumpling on the violet tiles.
Lou Fa cries out "Oh!"
"Jesus, Cas!" Rikei exclaims as he and the female scientist quickly rush to help me back into the chair.
Meanwhile, Bak goes over to Allen, who's scrambling to his feet with an expression of utter defeat, the joy from before having immediately dissipated like a soap bubble.
"Do it again, Walker." Bak's voice is cold and commanding.
Allen blinks, needing only a brief moment before he snaps back.
He once again attempts the reformation of his Innocence, but it once again returns only to disappear just as quickly, blowing apart like a dandelion in the wind.
Allen drops to one knee, gasping as sweat beads on his brow.
"Again, Allen."
"Innocence, Activate!"
Again and again and again, Bak commands Allen to call out to his Innocence and always with the same result: being blown apart and scattered into millions of little pieces that didn't seem to ever be able to be put back together again, like the pieces of my pipe.
Allen collapses onto his hand and knees, his whole body heaving as he attempts to drag rough breathes through his lungs. Sweat drips from the end of his nose as he struggles to breathe.
"Again," Bak calls.
But I can't take it anymore.
"No, stop it! That's enough," I interject, rounding on the Branch Chief. "It's obviously not working. This is the definition of fucking insanity right here!"
Bak glances at me, his eyes steely. "So you're saying he should give up?"
I falter, looking back over at Allen. "I-I didn't say that. There just has to be another way."
"I'm not giving up," Allen calls to us, eventually managing to heave himself to his feet, "I'm going to return my Innocence and return to the everyone else." He looks at me, "We both are."
Bak sighs, "Well, if you wish to continue this, be my guest." He then turns to the three Science Division members, "You three stay here and keep tabs on his progress. I need as much thorough detail as you can record so that we can attempt a more concrete method of reforming his Weapon."
Rikei, Shifu, and Lou Fa nod in understanding.
"Yes, sir."
Bak then turns to me. "Now then, Cas. Let us see to your Innocence."
I blink. "Um, what?"
"Won," Bak doesn't elaborate further as he refers to his assistant who grasps the handles of my chair and spins me around towards the door.
"Wait, where are we going?" I exclaim, twisting in my chair as Bak strides ahead of us out of the room.
"You'll see."
"But…" I trail off as I glance over my shoulder at Allen standing in the middle of the room gazing after us before the door closes behind me.
"Here you are, Cas. Comfortable?" Bak inquires as Won settles me into a high backed wooden chair set with velvet cushions.
"I guess," I reply as I gaze around. I had been taken to the Branch library which is a rather dark space of wood and polished stone. It's a long room, cast in shadow with long, narrow shelves stuffed full of more books than I could possibly count in a lifetime.
"Thank you, Won. That'll be all," Bak addresses the large man, who bows silently before exiting the room.
I follow him out with my eyes before turning back to the Branch Chief.
Bak and I are sitting across from one another at a long table draped in white silk cloth. The Branch Chief crosses to the center of the table and reaches out towards the china tea set nestled in the center.
I raise an eyebrow. "Okay. What's going-"
"Shhh," Bak smirks as he presses a finger to his lips.
I glare at him. "Bak…"
"Tell me, Cas, do you like tea?" the Branch Chief inquires, ignoring my protests as he pours two cups of the steaming substance.
"Not particularly. I take after my more German roots."
"Well, this here is a very special brew, an ancient kind with a recipe that is a closely guarded secret passed down through my family for hundreds of years." As he speaks, he hands me a cup. It's small in my palm and doesn't have a handle.
I glance down at it, inhaling the warm moisture emitting from it. For such an old type of tea, it seems entirely unremarkable.
"Unimpressed?" I glance up to see that Bak has taken his own cup and is sitting down at the chair across from me at the other end of the table. "I suppose you might be. This drink is called the Tea of Truth."
I raise an eyebrow. "The Tea of Truth?"
Bak nods. "Yes. Now, it is a common belief that different types of tea can provide different things for the person that drinks them. Some provide the cures for ailments, others calm the mind or revitalize the senses. This provides truth."
I glance back down at my brimming cup. "And what does that mean exactly?"
Bak grins as he leans forward slightly. "One sip and this drink will show you your mind, it'll transport you to your innermost parts, lay out the contents of your soul before you like a roadmap."
My brow furrows. "Bullshit."
Bak looks indignant, "It is not!"
"So, you're saying that one sip of this will show me the contents of my being in the metaphysical sense?" I sniff, unconvinced as I stir the mug though my single hand, "Sure it's not just spiked with LSD?"
Bak glowers at me. "Honestly, Cas. You have the ability to control your blood with your mind, not to mention the fact that you're currently sitting here without a vital organ."
I raise my eyes to the ceiling, considering his statement. "I suppose you're right, but I still don't see what magic tea has to do with my Innocence."
"Well, unlike Allen, you're Innocence is fair more intrinsically involved with your being, your relationship is more intimate, not to mention that it still remains connected to your body, so you can't simply outwardly revive it like Allen." At this, Bak points at my chest. I glance down, remembering the fragmented pieces coating the cross Krory had given me.
Krory…My mind wanders almost immediately, sailing off to thoughts of the faux-vampire, and Lavi and Bookman and even Lenalee. The last time I'd seen them, barely a week ago, but it feels like years, we'd all been heading to Edo, Japan to find General Cross. Where are they now? Are they alright? Without my Innocence, I can't connect to theirs.
"Do you understand, Cas?" Bak jerks me from my thoughts.
"I suppose, but what am I supposed to do?"
Bak grins as he holds up his own cup of tea, "We're going to go into your mind Cas, into the fragmented pieces of your heart
My eyes widen. "We?"
"Yes, I will be your guide. It's very easy to get lost inside your own head if you don't know what you're doing."
"I see," I avert my eyes, slightly disconcerted.
"It's alright, Cas. We'll take this slow. I promise."
I look at him, my eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Men say that about a lot of things."
"Cas," Bak holds out his cup to me, "Just trust me on this."
I hesitate for a moment longer before holding up my own cup. "Alright. Fine."
Bak smiles. "Cheers."
"Prost," I reply before tipping the contents of my cup down my throat. It spills down my throat, hot on my tongue and fills me up with a brimming warmth that spreads throughout my entire body.
Almost instantly, a heavy drowsiness descends upon me, making me feel heavy all over.
I try to speak, my mouth opening to form words but nothing comes out as I slump forward and my eyes slowly fall shut as the darkness of unconsciousness consumes me.
My eyes snap open and I gasp as my senses abruptly return to me, but something feels…off.
I look around to see I'm still in a library, but not the same one as before.
This one is larger, even darker than before. The floor is polished grey marble and the bookshelves are painted gold. The books upon them are all the same color: red and all the same size, like the same tome copied over and over again, stretching on into apparent nothings, the darkness that festers at the edge.
I turn on the spot, trying to regain purchase, only to be thrown off again when I realize I'm standing.
My head snaps down to instantly be consumed by the folds of dark red skirts but also the notion that a pair of sturdy feet are supporting me beneath them.
"Are you alright, Cas?" I jump and spin around to see Bak leaning against a bookcase a short distance away.
"Bak! I-What…?" I trail off, averting my gaze; my mind is reeling.
"Welcome to your mind, Cas," Bak explains calmly, shoving off the edge of the shelf and strolling over to me. He smiles, "I like the dress."
"Huh?" I glance back down at myself to see that my body is indeed draped in crimson folds accented by clusters of roses, hugging my lithe body all the way down to the thighs before flaring out into trails of fabric and vibrant petals. Beyond the hem, I see myself reflected in the polished floor: a familiar face that is flushed and alive with shining gold eyes and hair as red as a sunset, in this case swept up and styled tightly against my scalp.
"This is hardly my style," I eventually remark.
"Perhaps it's some side of yourself you've never considered," Bak offers. "That is entirely possible within the confines of your own mind."
I eye him warily before my gaze wanders back to the rows upon rows of identical books.
"That's what this is?"
"Yes, your mind, or at least the surface of it: each of these books leads to some facet of your being, something important that you've stored within yourself."
"And what exactly are we supposed to do?" I ask as I slowly move over to the closest shelf, my skirts swishing behind me as my shoes click across the polished floor.
"Well, Cas, you do recall that you have a healing ability bestowed upon you by your Innocence, correct?"
I scowl back at him at the obvious question. "Of course I do."
"Yes, and yet your Innocence was not able to heal itself? Why do you think that is?"
I falter, startled at the suggestion. "Are you saying that you think my Innocence could have repaired itself?"
"It's completely possible. Mind you, this is only a theory, but perhaps the reason your Innocence has not reformed does not have to do with it, but with you. there might very well be a block within your mind, within your soul."
My hand closes around the edge of the book shelf, scraping against the wood.
"And what would that be?"
Bak gestures around us.
"Only one way to find out."
I look around at the rows of books, feel a wave of dread crash down upon me.
"Where do we start?"
"You tell me."
I glare at him, slightly annoyed, but I eventually turn back to the shelves and yank the first book I see off them. The tome feels heavy in my grasp, and it doesn't have a title.
I stare at it curiously for a moment before flipping it open to a random page. I raise an eyebrow when I see that the pages are blank. A mere second passes before a strange black stain starts creeping up from the middle of the book, like someone had spilled ink across the pages.
The stain spreads, black, oozing as it stretches out into legs, tiny, creeping legs followed by glistening bodies and snapping antennae with matching pincers.
Bugs, hundreds of bugs start spilling from the depths of the book and out onto across the pages, scampering and tumbling down onto the floor.
I scream as the tome falls from my fingers and crashes to the floor to lie flat across the tile as still more and more bugs pour out in waves, flooding across the floor until none of it could be seen, just a carpet of creeping insects.
The swarm me on all sides, beginning to pool and pull on the edges of my skirt.
I scream and shriek, kicking and flailing about madly.
"Cas!"
"Bak! Bak, get me out of here!"
"But Cas-,"
"NOW BAK! Please, I can't do this!" The bugs are everywhere, consuming everything with there clicking pincers, their legs crawling across the ground. "Back, please!"
"Alright."
My head snaps up with a gasp that turns into a series of harsh coughs that seem to choke my entire body. Each breath comes up my throat more stunted than the last, my stomach heaves and I duck down under the table to throw up what little oatmeal I'd had earlier all over the floor.
"Cas…"
I glance up at Bak sitting at the other end of the table. As soon as I look at him, it's like everything unravels from that moment.
I feel hollow; I can barely breathe. Tears flood my eyes, trailing down my cheeks as my whole form starts shaking.
"Cas," Bak is on his feet in an instant as I shrink against the back of the wheelchair, crying bitterly. He places a hand on my shaking shoulder, "It's alright. It's going to be alright."
"I-I can't do this," I gasp, struggling to even get the words out, "I-I can't do it, Bak. I can't!"
"Don't say that-"
"It's true!" I insist, snapping at him. "I just-I can't." My voice breaks as I pull my knees to my chest and bury my face in them, sobbing loudly.
Bak sighs, "It's clear that we have a lot of work to do."
I just keep shaking my head. "I can't do it, Bak. I can't do it."
"Alright. Why don't we stop here for today. I'll take you back to your room, so you can rest. Alright?"
I don't answer, just remain curled up in the base of the wheelchair, but I suppose the Branch Chief takes my unresponsiveness as a 'yes' because he eventually takes the handles of my wheelchair and turns me towards the door, leaving the tea set vacant behind us.
My dreams are dark, frightened. There are images of a world of blood and a black moon. Allen going limp in my arms, stifled in the grasp of some shadowed figure with golden eyes. There are black butterflies everywhere, crawling across my body, tearing through me, moving under my skin…
"Cas! Cas, are you awake?!"
A frantic voice instantly snaps me awake. I try to lift my head, but my body feels heavy: resting on its side in the hospital bed. My eyes flicker upwards, and I see Lou Fa peering down at me. "I'm sorry to wake you."
"It's fine," I stave off her apology as I manage to shift onto my back so as to look up at her properly. "What is it?"
The other girl falters, her eyes dropping. "It's Allen…I think he's hurt."
"What?" Panic bursts in my chest as I struggle to try and sit up, falling back against the cushions as my one arm gives way under my anxiety. "What do you mean he's-Did you tell Bak?"
She silently shakes her head.
"Why the hell not?!"
Lou Fa looks at me. "Because he said he wanted you."
My eyes widen. "What?"
Lou Fa gets me back to the room where Allen's Innocence is being kept in record time. Upon entering the room, I see that the Weapon is still fragmented, akin to dust particles in the air.
Rikei and Shifu rush to meet us, beyond them I see Allen crumpled on the floor near the opposite wall, lying with his back to us.
"Allen!" I start forward unthinkingly and collapse into Rikei's arms. "What happened to him?"
"He hit the wall pretty hard last time," Rikei addresses Lou Fa instead of me, "He won't get up."
"Has he said anything?"
Rikei shakes his head, "Just that he wants Cas."
"Let me see him!" I cry, struggling as much as I can against him.
The young scientist eventually relents, carrying me over to the other side of the room where Allen is lying. He sets me down on the floor, and I awkwardly crawl the rest of the way.
"Allen," My voice is low when I reach him, shifting up onto my knees as I rest my hand on his shoulder.
His own is gripping the destroyed stump of his shoulder. As I look down at him, he grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut but a few tears still leak out.
"Allen," I repeat. "Can you hear me."
He opens his mouth and inhales sharply, pained. "Cas," he gasps, "It h-hurts."
"What? Your arm?"
"Y-Yes!"
"What does it feel like?"
"Like it's being s-sawed off again. It-Ah!" Allen kicks at the ground, rolling over onto his back as he cries out, "It h-hurts!"
"Allen!" Lou Fa rushes forward along with Rikei,
"Shifu, go get Won!"
I vaguely hear the sound of footsteps retreating out the door as the two scientists help me hold onto Allen, who's still gripping what remains of his left arm, crying and whimpering in pain.
I feel sick, my empty stomach churns as I look down at the tears pooling in his eyes. I glance up to see my feelings reflected in Lou Fa's face as she also holds onto him.
Our eyes meet, "Phantom limb pain, right?"
She bites her lip, nodding grimly.
Rikei shakes his head, "He's been trying at reviving his Innocence for hours. It's no wonder he's feeling like this, he's probably exhausted."
"Did he make any progress?" I inquire.
He shakes his head. "He kept trying though."
I look down at Allen, his head resting in my lap as I trail my fingers through his hair.
A few minutes later, Shifu returns with Won who rushes in, huffing and puffing.
He quickly takes Allen from us and carries him off back to his room in the medical ward.
I don't even need to ask as Lou Fa and Rikei scoop me back up into my chair and take me with them as they hurry after him.
Won lays Allen out across his bed on top of the covers. I'm wheeled over to it as he hurries over to a table and prepares a hypodermic needle.
Once it's complete, he turns back to Allen and sterilizes a spot on the damaged remains of his arm before quickly sinking the needle into it. Allen claps a hand across his mouth and kicks against the bed once, trying not to cry out as the needle pierces the tender flesh.
After this, Bak has Rikei prepare a heating pack which is then placed across his arm.
Allen seems to be a little calmer as he settles back against the blankets, at least he's stopped crying.
"Don't worry," Won smiles at me reassuringly, "Phantom limb pain is quite common in amputees."
"I know," I reply, my voice quiet.
"A good night's rest will do him wonders, you'll see. He's understandably exhausted, especially after how hard he was pushing himself."
"Yeah. I know."
"Well, call me if he needs anything," Won says this to the others before sidling out of the room. After a moment, Shifu and Rikei follow him while Lou Fa lingers.
"Cas…"
"I'd like to stay with him if that's alright," I say to her without taking my eyes off Allen.
"Alright." I hear her footsteps a second later and then the sound of the door closing.
After a moment, I manage to scoot my chair closer to the bed so that I'm directly looking down at Allen, who seems to be in a halfway state of consciousness.
I look at him and my insides feel all twist up. I'm not sure how I feel: I know that I feel proud, proud of him, because Rikei and Won are right. Allen was pushing himself, exerting potentially beyond his means with injuries not fully healed. Trying tirelessly to reform his Innocenec despite the same results over and over again. I'd only been able to stand the first few times, but Allen continues on beyond it.
And I…I felt shame for myself. After only one try with my own method of reformation, I'd completely broken down and given up. How could I…How could I do something like that?
Allen was right. We had to get back to the others. They need us, they need us as Exorcists just as the world needs our Weapons to destroy the Millennium Earl's Akuma.
I can't give up, but I…I don't know how to continue. Just the thought of returning to that room, remembering how it flooded with bugs, how quickly I'd panicked and begged for escape…
What am I going to do?
"Cas…?" I'm snapped from my thoughts, and I look down to see Allen staring up at me with tired, half-lidded eyes.
I try my best to smile reassuringly. "Hey, how do you feel?'
"Dizzy."
"Opium will do that to you."
Allen shifts slightly, not perhaps out of pain but rather discomfort at the morphine coursing through his veins.
"I shouldn't just be sitting here."
"You deserve a break Allen-"
"No! Not while the others are still out there fighting. I can't just sit here!"
He tries to sit up, but almost instantly falls back against the pillows. He stares up at the ceiling, eyes burning with frustration, but also a conviction I don't think I've ever seen matched.
I sigh. "How do you do it, Allen?"
He glances at me. "What?"
"No matter what, even when the odds are stacked against you, you don't ever give up. Why is that?"
Allen's eyes trail from mine, "Because I have to. I have to keep going. Mana never gave up, so I can't either."
I smile slightly, "Right. How silly of me, I should have known."
I then reach out and grip his bandaged hand with my own.
"Cas…" Allen's eyes widen in surprise as I lean down and press my brow to his.
"If you don't mind, Allen; I'd like to borrow some of it."
"S-Some of what?"
"That drive that you have, that strength. It's not something I always have myself, and I need it now, more than ever. I need you to be my strength for me. If that's okay."
"Cas, I...I mean, of course, but I don't understand what you mean to do?"
I smile as I lift my head and look down at him, "Do you remember when you were consumed by the Fallen One and how I freed you from being consumed by its memories?"
Allen's eyes widen. "Well, yes, but-"
"An empathic kiss," I whisper as I lean down, "Giving strength to another, perhaps it works both ways."
Then I kiss him. Sweet, purely, simply. A soft touch of his lips with my own.
"Mmph!" Allen freezes up, too stunned to move for a moment before his hand eventually goes up to grip the back of my head.
I hold it for a long time, as long as I can possibly. There's a warmth, a bliss that floods my entire body, washing away all the darkness and despair polluting my mind from recent events like a good soak in a hot bath.
Despite it, there's still a slight desperation in the action, fueled by a desire to hold Allen, to climb on top of him and feel him fully, which I can't do in my broken from.
However, I push this from my mind as I grip his hair and kiss him harder.
I'm not leaving you, Allen. Borrowed time or otherwise, I'm going to do everything in my power to stay with you. I swear it.
Allen moans against my mouth, biting at my bottom lip, and I eventually oblige him by snaking my tongue through his own lips.
He welcomes it, tangling it with mine and we play at it for several minutes as my hand trails down his cheek until we finally can't take it anymore and break for air.
I come up gasping, flushed and hot as though feverish. I feel elated, like I could be lifted from my chair and walk on air. I look down at Allen, who's reflecting my feelings in his face. He looks up at me in a mixture of elation and confusion
"Did you really just do that or was that the morphine?"
I laugh softly as I lean down and kiss his neck. "Thank you, Allen."
"Of course, Cas. I-Uh. Oh!" he moans as I kiss behind his ear and trail a line down his throat. "I love you," he gasps.
"I know you do," I grin as I rear back.
Allen looks up at me incredulously.
"Try and get some sleep. You have a long road ahead of you."
"I suppose, but what about you?"
"I have something I need to do. I'll see you in the morning."
I'm about to turn my chair from the bed when Allen reaches out, which makes me pause. He smiles as he thumps my chest, knocking against the metal chest brace. "Goodnight, Cas."
I return his smile. "Goodnight, Allen." I then bend down and kiss his scar. He relaxes against the touch before I pull back and turn from his bed and head out the door, pausing the look at him one last time over my shoulder.
Sometimes I amaze even myself.
Not only did I make it all the way to Bak's office without getting lost, but I also managed to operate my wheelchair entirely on my own.
The Branch Chief seems as surprised as me when he answers the door, blinking down at me rather rapidly, or perhaps he's merely tired.
"Master Bak," I smile as I bow, somewhat awkwardly given my perpetually seated position, "I know it's a bit late, but would you care for a cup of tea?"
A/N: I finally did it, everyone! There you have it! The kiss you've all been waiting for! Well, one of them anyways. After all, Valentine's Day is next month;D
Btw want proof that I'm a D. Gray Man nerd? The Tea of Truth is actually a real, in world substance used by Bak to explore the past in the first of the D. Gray Man Reverse novels, which are short stories by Hoshino.
Reviews and questions of course! With that, off for more Game of Thrones because the brother keeps nagging me!
