The apartment seemed large to him, but he could tell by the way Kagome stood in the space that she worried he thought it was too small or somehow lacking. "You live here by yourself?" he asked a little incredulously. He'd been living in a studio apartment in a crappy building along the border between the human and youkai parts of town. It was a rough neighborhood for humans, but he'd never worried.
Kagome's building was well kept, but it was not the most desirable part of the city. She rarely thought about it, but she knew her mother worried about her safety almost constantly. If she made better money she would move, but for now, this was what she could afford relatively close to her job. Having an actual living room was a nice plus, and an eat-in kitchen, but now that there were going to be two of them sharing it, she wasn't sure how they would both fit. "I know it's a little snug for two people, but the couch pulls out into a bed, and it's actually really comfortable."
Inuyasha stared at her for several moments. "You're... really going to let me stay here?"
Kagome's head tilted slightly and a confused little frown was on her face. "I wouldn't just turn you out on the streets. You've been out of the game for almost fifty years," she reminded him. "You'll have to learn about this time before you can navigate all this stuff yourself. Not too much has changed, but enough that you might feel a little lost." She paused. "I mean, you could see if Miroku has room for you, if you'd feel more comfortable staying with him." As the ex-monk had quickly found a room in some sort of boarding house, Inuyasha doubted the bouzu had anywhere to put him. At any rate, he didn't want to be separated from Kagome.
"Won't your family have a problem with me staying here?"
Kagome smiled a little. "Things are a little different now. Plus, it's not like we're sleeping in the same room," she said with a faintly delirious chuckle.
"Keh. Couch is fine." Kagome just shook her head and yawned. "You need to lay down," he said firmly, trying to cover how concerned he really was.
She nodded tiredly. "Kaou gave me this serum to help me sleep. I'm a little nervous to take it though. He said I would sleep really deeply."
In spite of his gut reaction to her taking anything a youkai had given her, he knew she needed the rest. She looked about ready to drop. "Keh, I'll be fine," he replied when she asked him if he needed anything. He watched her go into her room and fought the urge to follow. He needed to stop acting like a lost puppy, right on her heels anywhere she went. She left her door open a crack, which made him feel better.
Three days had passed since Kagome had freed Inuyasha from Goshinboku. Unfortunately for the hanyou turned human, he was still human. He'd been worried before, now he was downright distraught. This made him the most difficult man on the planet to deal with. Kagome had thrown her hands up at him in utter defeat several times already. He sulked on her tiny balcony, she tried to coax him to go out somewhere with her and he growled and snarled at her as best he could until she got so frustrated she just left him alone.
All this after he'd nearly had a heart attack when she didn't wake up right away the morning after she took the serum Kaou had given her. Inuyasha had gone looking when it was nearing noon and there was no sign of her waking. Twenty hours of sleep was, in his opinion, obscene. When he jostled her shoulder, she hadn't reacted. He'd tried again, calling her name and shaking her a little harder. When that didn't work he'd begun to panic, mind racing over all the possibilities. What if she never awoke and he was left here, alone, in this unfamiliar time? What would I do without her? He'd forced himself to pull it together and was about to contact Miroku when she gasped softly. She was groggy and incoherent for some time, but eventually he was able to get her sitting up and drinking some water. She'd thanked him shyly, a faint blush on her cheeks and he'd huffed out a "keh."
Worrying over her had put him in a foul mood and his continued human state had only fueled his worry. How would he protect Kagome if he was just a regular old human for the rest of his life? How long would his life actually be? His own mortality had never really come up before and it scared him more than he would have expected. Dying in a fight was one thing, dying protecting someone another. Dying of old age seemed... slow and painful. He wanted no part of it.
On top of that he hated that he was so dependent on Kagome. He had always been free to do as he wished, up to a point, and had never relied on anyone. Kagome was his gateway to the world, showing him new technology, explaining some of the large events that he had missed while sleeping. Without her he would have been completely lost. And that made him angry too. He'd never been so out of his element in his life and he was pretty consistently an outsider. Being so quickly attached to Kagome and still being human only compounded the issue.
"Are you going to sulk out here forever?" Kagome asked him from her doorway, arms crossed over her chest and her shoulder leaning against the frame. One eyebrow was lifted in question and her face told him she was no longer feeling generous toward his attitude. "You know, I'm human all the time. Always have been. Doesn't make me throw tantrums."
"You just don't get it," he muttered.
"Then explain it to me," she begged him, moving to sit in the chair beside him. Just that small thing made him irritated again. He should have been able to hear her before she came looking for him, he definitely should have been able to smell her with her so close. Nothing. He could faintly smell the scent of the city, far more polluted than he remembered, and the restaurant in the building next door, but nothing that was distinctly Kagome.
"I can't smell anything the way I should. I can't hear for shit. I use those senses to keep myself alive and now they're gone." Kagome's dark brown eyes took him in. There was no pity, no mocking in her gaze.
"You're not in danger like before," she tried to remind him.
Inuyasha scoffed. "And if that youkai who got me locked up in the first place is still running around? What's to keep him from squashing me like an ant?"
Kagome gave him a half smile. "I'll protect you."
He tried not to, he really did, but the thought of Kagome protecting anyone didn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence. He had to acknowledge she hadn't been at the top of her game the last time he'd seen her use her powers, but she was not exactly the most fearsome miko he'd ever seen. "And who's going to protect you?" he asked, chuckling. Apparently she didn't appreciate his humor. Her frown returned and she sat back in her chair, arms crossing over her chest again. "Oi, I mean you have a lot of potential, you just don't know how to use it yet." Kagome's head tilted and she shot him a look. "Kikyo trained daily and had impeccable control. I'm sure you could get there too."
Inuyasha had no idea why, but apparently that was not the right thing to say. Kagome stared at him in pained shock, her eyes wide. Tears filled them and her mouth opened in a faint gasp. She nearly tipped the chair over, she was out of it so fast. She was through her bedroom to the bathroom with the door slamming behind her before he could call out to her. He stood, hesitating a moment before following her. Pressing his human ear tightly to the thin wooden door, he was just able to make out muffled sobbing.
"Fuck," he mumbled to himself. Why had that upset her so much? He was just letting her know that he was sure she was capable of a lot if she just put in the effort. Kikyo had dedicated a lot of time to her training and he would guess that Kagome's power already outshone what Kikyo could do, she just didn't have the control or the battle skills yet. "Kagome?" Softly knocking on the door got no response. He tried again a little louder. Still nothing. With the way her health had been recently, he instantly worried that she'd fainted again. "Kagome!" He felt the door pop open when he shoved it and came almost face to face with a flushed, tearstained Kagome.
"Get out."
He scowled at her, feeling just as stubborn. "I don't know what your deal is, wench..."
"Kagome! It's Ka-go-me! Not 'wench,' not 'woman,' and not Kikyo!" Startled by her outburst, he took a step back. He didn't remember ever calling her by the other miko's name, but he did have to take a moment to think about it and make sure. Kagome seemed equally startled and placed a hand over her mouth.
"I know who you are." Kagome blinked, fresh tears coming to her eyes. "Kagome, I know who you are." He reached out gently and brought her closer by the elbow. She let him.
"I know," she sobbed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. Any time I hear her name I just... I'm sorry. I'm sure you m-miss her." Finally able to smell a hint of the fragrance he had been missing, Inuyasha found himself calming.
"Sort of. I'm still not sure exactly what happened, but I do know that Kikyo herself is the one who put that arrow in my chest. No youkai could have used a holy arrow to bind me to the sacred tree." He took in Kagome's face as she looked up at him, beginning to look more like the girl he remembered from the dream. Her eyes didn't have such dark circles under them and her cheeks seemed to be filling out again. She was looking less and less like Kikyo and more and more distinctly like herself. The thing he noticed most though, and kept telling himself he shouldn't, was how much better her lips looked. They had seemed thin and nervous before... more like Kikyo's had always been. He shook off the comparison. Now they were fuller and slightly rosy, healthier.
Inuyasha didn't even realize he was leaning into her until the phone rang loudly in the other room. Both of them jumped and pulled away from each other, Kagome's face reflecting his embarrassment. She stuttered out something about answering and left him standing in the bathroom feeling like an idiot. What am I doing? Kagome can't possibly want that. But she had reacted positively to his hold the day she released him, when he could still smell her reaction. "Miroku wants to take us to lunch," Kagome called from the other room.
"Keh."
"Sure, we'll meet you there," he heard her tell the bouzu over the phone.
Kagome hid a smile as Inuyasha tried not to look like he was staring. She had anticipated a little bit of surprise, possibly some questions on his part, but she should have expected the feigned nonchalance. The way things had changed clearly fascinated him, but he didn't want anyone to know. He had initially seemed just as fascinated by the sundress she had chosen to put on for their outing, but had quickly made a point not to look at her if he could help it. Kagome wasn't sure if he was offended by the amount of skin showing or perhaps was reminded of the woman he was trying to forget. Trying to keep her spirits up, Kagome relished in the sunshine they were getting and the fact that she wasn't too tired to enjoy it.
Miroku had asked them to meet him at a small ramen shop that he had found that he swore was the best he'd ever had. He had suggested, since it was one of the few smells Inuyasha had caught while in sleep, that he might cheer up a little to finally taste some good ramen.
"Higurashi-sama, you are truly stunning," Miroku said in greeting when they arrived, his eyes obviously appreciative and a wide smile on his lips. Kagome blushed at the praise and glanced uncomfortably at Inuyasha. He had a deep scowl on his face but she decided she wasn't going to let him get to her. He didn't seem much interested so she would accept the compliment graciously and at least know that someone thought she was pretty. Miroku was handsome and intelligent, if a little eager, and she wouldn't turn her nose up at a compliment from a nice young man.
"Thank you. You can just call me Kagome, you know. The title feels weird."
Miroku and Inuyasha both seemed flustered by the permission she was giving the monk. He looked flabbergasted and pleased while Inuyasha was visibly irritated. What's got his undies in a bunch? He never once used anything but my given name or wench. "I… I am honored, Kagome-sama." Kagome opened her mouth to protest the change, not quite what she'd hoped for, but decided to leave it alone.
"Um. Yea."
The ex-monk pulled out a seat for her and was about to slip into the chair beside her when Inuyasha nudged him out of the way and plopped himself in it instead. The two men glowered at each other before Miroku gave a sigh and sat across from her instead. "How have things been going? Inuyasha behaving himself?" he asked with a smirk. Inuyasha glared at the man he never would have thought to be a rival, but quickly realized he should have suspected. At the same time, he wasn't sure why he was rising to the bait in the first place. He knew that there was something between him and Kagome. There wouldn't have been a line of fate connecting them if there wasn't meant to be something.
The three engaged in stiff conversation until they ordered and received their food. The fragrance was immediately familiar to his nose, even human, and Inuyasha inhaled happily. He carefully sipped some of the broth, delight making his blue-grey eyes lighter. He missed the way Kagome watched him with a small smile on her lips, too engrossed in the food experience.
"So Inuyasha, what are your plans for your future?" Irritated to be interrupted from his lunch, Inuyasha glared slightly at the ex-monk. Then he thought about the question. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about it, just not quite in the terms Miroku was presenting it. "His" future included Kagome, so it was "their" future... right? He glanced at the young woman beside him. I can't assume that. Kagome might have a... But wouldn't she have mentioned someone in her life by now? He couldn't imagine that any beau would approve of some strange man living with her if there was one. He knew he definitely wouldn't stand for that. That was also assuming he was going to end up human for the rest of his life. If he somehow got his youki back, there was no way he could subject her to the ridicule associating herself with him would bring. He felt like his mind was on a seesaw, back and forth between knowing they should have something and knowing they definitely shouldn't. "What did you do before?"
"Cars," he replied. "Mostly. I did some other handyman kind of stuff once in a while, but mainly car repair, engine rebuilding, that kind of thing."
"Wow. I don't know why that surprises me." Inuyasha smirked at the way Kagome's attention had completely moved away from Miroku and was focused entirely on him. "My father was a driver." The tone she said it in made him pause, searching her eyes. "He died on the track when I was ten," she said softly.
"The pain of loss never goes away completely," Miroku said quietly, drawing their attention back to the world at large. Kagome's smile was a little crooked and she bent back over her food to end the line of conversation. "I imagine that you may be in luck Inuyasha. Not much about engines has changed in the time you were sleeping. All the electronics, perhaps, but the engines themselves have remained pretty much the same."
"At least I can rely on that," he replied a little sarcastically, surreptitiously glancing to make sure Kagome was ok. Her face was a little blank, but she was listening.
With the rest of lunch feeling awkward and forced, Kagome and Inuyasha left after getting directions from Miroku to the community center where he was staying and an invitation to use the facilities. Inuyasha followed closely behind Kagome, watching her carefully. "You said you were ten. That's a hard age to lose a parent." Kagome slowed her pace and looked back at him over her shoulder.
"That was eighteen years ago."
"Doesn't mean it's any easier." He took a deep breath, catching up to her and walking at her side. "My mother died when I was eight. That was..." He tried to do the math and got stuck while trying to add the fifty or so years he'd been asleep. "1945. After the bombs hit."
"Radiation?"
"Not directly, but there was enough misery around here that the flu killed a lot of people who were already weak. My father died the day I was born, trying to protect us both, and it broke her heart. It's surprising she lasted as long as she did." Kagome stopped walking, taking hold of Inuyasha's arm. He could see the sympathy in her eyes. While he wanted to get mad, shake off what could be pity, he knew Kagome didn't pity him, she truly felt his pain. "I never knew the old man, but the way my mother talked about him, he might as well have been one of the kami themselves." Kagome's lips turned up a little.
"Well at least your dad was actually a powerful youkai. I think all mothers tell their children that their fathers were the moon and the stars. My mother still talks about my dad that way," she said with a little grin, turning and pulling him along with her, her arm looped through his. "He was in a big race. Supposedly THE big race that would really kick off his career."
"Did he lose control, or was he hit?"
"Both. Another driver clipped his back end and he wasn't able to correct. He spun into the wall." She took a deep breath. "They said he died on impact, but I could hear him."
"Kagome," he murmured, pulling her to a stop this time. "You might have imagined it."
"They said it was me screaming." Inuyasha didn't have a good response to that. Instead he just pulled her into his arms and held her for a few moments. He remembered clearly the moment he realized his mother was gone. He'd howled and cried for hours, nothing keeping the pain from nearly swallowing him whole. A servant from his half brother's house had finally come in to retrieve him, prying him away from his mother's body and having to knock him out to stop the screaming and snarling. He'd been more subdued at the funeral, secretly and silently grateful that his half brother had at least given her the dignity of a proper burial.
Kagome sniffed a few times, her forehead resting against his sternum as they stood in an alley. When she looked up at him, tears clinging to her lashes and her dark eyes deep with emotion, Inuyasha was lost. He'd already thought he might be, but in that moment he knew it. If only he knew without a doubt that Kagome felt the same. He sighed, gently bumping his forehead against hers, and then pulled himself away. He did allow himself the pleasure of squeezing her hand one last time before letting go and motioning for them to get moving.
