I'm so sorry :cries: I know it took ages to write it, my apologies :bows: First, I was a bit MIA, than it almost turned into KIA and then Naruto refused to cooperate. But I've finally finished this one and... it's almost twice as long as the previous one was and will be followed by another oneshot soon, so maybe you'll forgive me...
I was writing the story while listening to Gravity by A Perfect Circle. Taking into consideration how many times I've heard the song, I should have learnt the lyrics by heart already, but I haven't ;P
Genre: General/Tragedy/Angst
Warnings: AU. Character death. Itachi's reactions are based on the revelations of the latest chapter. No spoilers, though. More in the author's notes at the end.
Summary: He'll get there on time, no matter what, there is no doubt about it, because there is something that he has to do; something that only he can do and no one else. Naruto's POV. I hope I didn't make him OOC :cries: Continuation of the previous one, Dying of his hand.
I do not own Naruto. If I did, the brothers would still be brothers. And Itachi would be mine ;P
Guilt
Brothers should be brothers.
That's what Naruto thinks when he tries to force his body to move faster and faster in order to continue this murderous run. He's close to his limits, he knows about it, but he keeps running, because there is no time left. There is no time to stop and rest, as every second wasted in such a way could mean that he'll come to the place, that place, too late.
Too late for what?
The thought brings a frown to his face when he tries to find the answer, but for some reason his mind refuses to cooperate. Is it tiredness that affects him in this way? Or is there some other reason? He can't say.
His body feels tired, so tired, but he keeps running, trying to keep the pace he has set for himself. He stumbles and, although he doesn't fall, despite himself he stops for a while. It's been a few seconds only, but he feels guilty; so guilty that almost immediately he starts to run again. He'll get there on time, no matter what - there is no doubt about it - because there is something that he has to do; something that only he can do. Only him and no one else.
'Because only I can stop them.'
His face is unexpectedly serious when the words are finally said. His blue eyes flash with determination when he runs and his mind is focused on one thought only.
I must stop them.
Tiredness has almost got him and it's only his determination that makes him run. Air is like liquid fire that burns his lungs with every breath he takes. Drops of sweat start to get into his eyes making his vision blurry until he wipes them way with one impatient gesture.
Somewhere at the edge of his consciousness Kyuubi wakes and roars in anticipation of what is to happen. Slowly the demon's chakra mixes with his, but Naruto doesn't try to stop the process, deciding that at least once that demonic power could be used to his own advantage. Slowly his eyes turn red and the pupils change their shape. The demon inside him roars again and Naruto growls.
I MUST STOP THEM!
Finally he finds the place he was told about not so long time ago, but it feels as if ages had already passed since that moment. Here is his aim – the one he's been chasing for so long and nothing and no one can stop him now. He feels relieved and the feeling is so strong that all of sudden, for a moment shorter than a heartbeat, his limbs almost go numb, making him stumble again. Kyuubi is gone now, he's disappeared from his mind, but... he doesn't really need him anymore, Naruto decides. Not now, when he's finally got to the place.
He runs the corridor, focused on a bright patch of light he can see at the end of it, counting the seconds that pass and with every step he takes, he gets closer and closer to his aim.
Sasuke. And... Itachi.
Closer. And closer. So close.
When he finally enters the place, the light blinds him at first. He stops and blinks a few times, moving his eyes from one side to another and trying to ignore the fact that they've got rather watery.
It takes a while before he can see again. What he notices first is two human silhouettes in the middle of the place he has just entered. Once he's seen them, his heart starts its crazy dance leaping with joy in expectation of that meeting long awaited and his mouth opens to cry that word he's wanted to say for so long and...
Something is wrong.
Where does the thought come from? He looks at the two men – one of them sitting on the ground and holding the other one in his arms... and the sudden realization comes.
'Sa... Sasuke...'
Instead of a cheerful cry, only a weak whisper escapes his mouth. He stares at the scene, sees it, but his brain refuses to accept the truth.
The man sitting on the ground turns his head in Naruto's direction and for a short while Naruto is trapped by the look of these crimson eyes. The eyes he knows too well.
'Too late...' Itachi says.
There is no emotion in his voice, but for some reason it sounds different from his usual emotionless way of speaking. His voice is as quiet as a whisper and for a short while Naruto thinks that the man is not quite aware that he has said anything.
It can't be...
He stays still, his eyes wide opened, and only his hands move. His fists clench involuntarily when he stands there, looking at them both - the man who hasn't moved since Naruto entered the place and only watches him for some reason, unknown to Naruto, and that inert body he's been holding in his arms...
Too late...
His own sorrow overwhelms him, making him unable to move. And then the other feelings appear. There is some guilt he feels. He knows he has failed and now it's impossible to turn back the time and make the things be in the way they should have been. There are some other feelings, too, but they seem to be so mixed with one another that Naruto can't even name them.
I failed... I couldn't stop them...
All of sudden anger appears; that strange kind of anger, aimed at everything and nothing at the same moment. Aimed at Naruto himself, because it is his fault that he came here too late to stop the brothers and to prevent the tragedy. Aimed at Sasuke, because it was his fault that he chose to follow the path of self-destruction and was so blinded by his revenge that could see nothing but the revenge only and that's what cost him his life in the end. Aimed at Itachi, because... hadn't it been for him, it all would have never happen. The feeling arouses inside of Naruto, consumes him, and somehow Kyuubi wakes again.
This time he's not strong enough to keep the demon inside and the beast takes over his mind and his thoughts almost completely and there is only a little part of Naruto left. His nails changes into claws and his fists clench. His eyes turn red completely and marks on his cheeks become more visible. He stays still for a while and then he starts to move all of sudden, his speed significantly increased due to Kyuubi's power. Now there is only one thought left.
I WON'T FORGIVE...!
Yet even Naruto can't say whom he will never forgive... Is it Itachi? Or is it Naruto himself?
With some surprise he realizes that Itachi doesn't even try to avoid his attack. He's still in the same place, as if waiting for him, Naruto, to attack him, and only watches him with the eyes from which all feelings have disappeared. If not for Kyuubi, maybe he would stop in this moment, just after seeing these eyes, but he doesn't. Kyuubi roars and all thoughts disappear from Naruto's mind. He's by Itachi's side now, his hands reach out to clench the man's neck and break it. The Uchiha doesn't even try to defend himself and for a short while Naruto looks into these eyes again – these dark eyes with no Sharingan in them, so similar to Sasuke's and so different at the same time.
And that's when something happens. Time seems to stop, the world seems to fall apart and everything turns black with some reds and silvers flashing through the darkness. Something breaks inside of him and...
Naruto wakes from that nightmare, his eyes open in a shot, his heart pounding in his chest; pounding so hard that it almost causes a physical pain. He sits for a longer while, leaned against the tree behind his back. His head is hung and his hand clutches on the fabric of his shirt.
He's unaware that he's been crying until a single tear wets his hand. Surprised, he moves the hands to his face only to discover that it's wet. How long has he been crying in this way? Since the dream started? Finished? He can't say.
Long minutes pass before he gets over that nightmare which isn't a nightmare in fact. It's one of his memories – the worst he has ever had. The memory that keeps haunting him and which appears every time he closes his eyes. It's the memory of that day.
He moves his eyes to the fire and for a short while he feels relieved that it didn't go out while he was sleeping. He feels a twinge of guilt as well, because he shouldn't have fallen asleep in this way. It was his duty to stay on guard this night, but he failed... again. Yet the feeling disappears quickly and only indifference is left. What one more failure might mean now, when he's already failed in that way?
I'm not the only one that failed.
His eyes move to the man sleeping on the other side of the fire. Its leaping flames give enough light to make Itachi's face visible to him, but it's still covered with shadows changing their shapes every second. Maybe that's the reason why in this feeble light for a short while Itachi seems to look like his little brother. That view makes Naruto's heart hurt again.
He pulls his knees to the chest and sits in this way watching the flames and the man, but in some way it's more like looking inside of himself.
The truth is that he should have killed the man. He should have done it when they were still in that place and then he should have left Itachi's dead body behind and... forgotten. But he didn't. Why?
He covers his face with the hand and then rubs his forehead with the fingers. Why did he save the man?
Because I'm not like any of them...
The thought just pops up in his mind and he lets himself get lost in his thoughts, once again remembering the day.
In that place, when he looked into Itachi's eyes, something broke inside of him. The man didn't use his Sharingan on him – the thing had already been deactivated – but he didn't need to do that in fact. It was the look of these eyes that defeated him in some way.
Itachi... Even though usually rather emotionless, this time there was something completely different about him and his "being emotionless". This time it wasn't just lack of emotion; it was more like some kind of emptiness – as if he had lost something that had been important to him. That was what Naruto saw in Itachi's eyes back then and that's why instead of breaking the man's neck, he let his hands clutch on the fabric of the black cloak Itachi wore.
'Why...? What was all that for?' he growled looking into Itachi's eyes.
The man made no move.
'... it was... essential...' the answer came.
Itachi didn't avert his look, but he closed his eyes for a while and for a short moment he seemed to be rather withdrawn; so withdrawn that Naruto blinked in surprise. That surprise itself let him suppress Kyuubi's influence completely.
'Essential...? For what...?'
He didn't expect the answer to this question. All of sudden he felt tired, so tired that he let his hands fall along his body and hung his head, not being able to look at the Uchiha any longer. That's how he stood – too weak to move in any way.
'It wasn't supposed to end in this way...' a barely audible whisper came.
Naruto tossed his head hearing the words, and looked at the Uchiha with a surprised look on his face. Itachi's voice was so quiet that he wasn't even sure if the words were really said or was it only his imagination that made him hear them. Then his eyes met Itachi's and for the first time he could see something in them – some feelings, barely noticeable, yet definitely present.
Uzumaki blinked. Was it some guilt or sadness? Naruto couldn't say, but he was almost sure that the Uchiha might have been unaware of them. The feelings disappeared quickly and even Naruto couldn't say if he really saw them or once again it was his own imagination that deceived him. Yet it didn't matter anymore, as his decision had already been made...
The decision...
He shakes his head. With some effort he brings himself back to reality and moves his eyes to Itachi again, watching him for a while. In this weak light his face looks different – younger and calmer. For a short while he wonders if Itachi also happens to have nightmares. Even if he does, he's never mentioned them.
Naruto sighs. Even if he tried, he couldn't say what Itachi really felt and wanted in that moment and in some way he still isn't sure about it. That tiny voice in his head whispers that in fact the Uchiha wanted to die in that place and it's not a possibility that Naruto can really exclude, as he does remember the man looking at him as if he expected something to happen.
Is it true what he thought that he saw for a while on that day? But why should Itachi want to be killed back then? Even the thought itself is ridiculous. But aren't the other thoughts ridiculous as well? Why did Naruto save him?
Because I'm not like him... I'm not like any of them...
That's what Naruto tries to tell himself, but even he is not so sure of it anymore. There are moments when he thinks that from the beginning they all must have been damned in this way or another and kept making the choices that finally led them all to the tragedy. And if from the beginning they all haven't been that much different from one another, maybe that's the reason why now, when Sasuke is gone, Naruto has been following the other Uchiha?
Is it really true? Naruto can't say.
THE END
A/N: 1. The prompt: Guilt (suggested by ShinyaDiey)
2. Itachi is OOC? Well... He's not apparently. Catch up with the manga :P
3. My personal opinion – Itachi is not emotionless. He suppresses his emotions to the point in which he almost doesn't feel them, but the emotions still are there. Thus, his reactions here.
4. The scene in which Naruto questions Itachi about his reasons is a reflection of the scene from the manga in which a similar question was asked by Sasuke. Also Itachi's reaction is a reflection of the scene. Don't believe me? Check the chapter 224 :P
Okay. I've been thinking. All of sudden I've decided that I like this plot too much and started to wonder if anybody would be interested in seeing the story based on it. You know: Sasuke is killed accidentally by Itachi, Naruto finds them both and since that moment Naruto and Itachi try to find their own way in life. A separate multi-chaptered story. Anybody interested?
Wanna suggest the prompt? Go ahead.
