As we began driving, I looked out the window and thought about everything that was going on.
I knew we were going to a carnival, and I hoped this wasn't the same one I fought Sivana at, but I had a strong feeling it was. I have so many memories at the carnival, my first supervillain fight, giving that little girl the Tiger and my Mom abandoning me. My memory of her leaving me holds the most weight and hurts every time I think about it. But after the events of this morning, she seems different almost as if the good memories I had of her were plucked out of my mind and put into reality changing who she is as a person.
When we made it to the carnival, I saw they went all out on the Christmas decorations. The signs held bright colored Christmas lights that added a festive mood to the air. There was snowman guarding the entrance, and some of the staff looked like elves. I hadn't thought about it until now, but we are a week away from Christmas if today is December 15th. I think it is since yesterday was the 14th. Who knows, though?
My Mom parked the car before turning it off and getting out; she then came around to help me out. When she opened my door, a gust of wind blasted my face. I instantly felt a lot colder then I had in the comfy car seat and fleece blanket. My face tensed up, and my eyes got misty from the wind. My Mom must have noticed my reaction because she looked worried, "Billy, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, just cold," I said, wiping my eyes with my jacket sleeve.
She smiled before moving her hands to my jacket, "Well if you zip your jacket up all the way that might help." She said sarcastically as she zipped up my coat, "Better?"
I nodded as I felt my body get slightly warmer, but my face was still freezing. She then took off her scarf and wrapped it around my neck, which helped with my face. "Don't you need it?" I protested worried she might get cold.
"Nah, I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you." She explained, lifting me out of the car.
"Thanks," I said happily since my face was warming up.
She opened her door again and grabbed her purse, throwing it over her shoulder before turning back to me. "Ready to go?"
"MmHm," I said nodding.
"Good, just make sure you hold my hand while we walk there's going to be a lot of people in there, and I don't want to lose you," she explained. I wanted to believe she was sincere, and part of me did, but another part of me remembered what she did last time we went to a carnival together.
We began walking away from the car when my Mom grabbed my hand. When she did this, I remembered back to the day I let go I thought back to that day and remembered everything that happened in the following weeks — losing my Mom and the rest of her Family wanting nothing to do with me and then ending up in my first foster home. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, so I gripped her hand harder and scooted closer. She noticed this but didn't say anything; instead, she smiled.
We headed for a green ticket booth that was decorated in Christmas lights and showed a list of prices for admission into the carnival based on age. I noticed that with being four, I was free where if I were still fourteen, I would have been considered an adult for pricing. "That's one positive," I thought.
When we got to the ticket booth, an older woman greeted us. "How many?"
"Two," My Mom answered, pulling her wallet out. The woman dug into a draw inside her booth, pulling out two pink tickets with smiley faces on them. She traded the tickets for my Mom's money before she turned her attention to me.
"And how old is this cute little guy?" She asked with a bright smile. I blushed at her comment before hiding behind my Mom's leg.
"Sorry, he's a little shy," My Mom apologized.
"It's okay all the kids are," The woman replied.
Next, my Mom pulled me out from behind her, so I was face to face with the woman again. "Billy tell the nice lady how old you are."
"I'm...I'm four," I said stumbling over my words. I realized how small and childish I sounded, which is what I hoped to avoid by hiding from the lady.
"Wow, you're turning into quite the big boy, aren't you?" She said. I blushed at her comment and thought if she only knew.
The woman continued smiling before reaching back into her drawer and pulling out a big tootsie pop. It was the cherry flavor which happened to be my favorite. I learned this when Freddie gave me some leftover Halloween candy. I was worried the candy might be bad since it was two months old, but it still tasted good.
"Well, Billy since your such a big boy why don't I give you a lollypop," She said, putting the lollypop thru the window.
"Thank you," I said blushing as I took the lollypop.
"Your welcome," The woman said. "Now you and your Mom better get going you have lots of fun ahead of you."
I blushed at her comment before my Mom thanked her.
I hate it when I'm right, but this carnival is the same one I fought Sivana and where I lost my Mom. The memory of when I let go and sat on the patrol car waiting for her to come back flooded my mind. It was so vivid and bright; I felt as if I was reliving the memory.
"Billy Batson," The officer yelled into his radio. He turned to me, wrapping me in a blanket, "Don't worry kid, they always come back."
I was so deep in thought I didn't even realize my Mom was trying to talk to me. "So what do you want to do first?"
I shook out of my daze and looked up at her, "What?"
She laughed, "I asked what do you want to do first?"
"Umm..." I mumbled as I scanned for something fun to do. I saw many booths with games and activities to do. There were some rides too, but they were mostly little kiddie rides, and I don't think I would enjoy those. I must have taken to long to decide, so my Mom had a suggestion.
"Why don't we play some of the games first?" She asked, pointing over to some of the booths.
"Uh... sure," I said.
We headed over to a group of booths that had classic carnival games. One booth was the water shooter game where you try to get to the top before everyone else, another game was throwing balls into a stack of bottles hoping to knock them over, but the one my Mom kept dragging me towards didn't look like much fun.
This booth was were you pooped ballons using darts, and of course, they haven't changed their prizes because the most significant award was still a giant tiger. "Why don't we play this one it looks like fun?" My Mom asked gleefully.
I froze in my tracks as I saw the darts, the balloons, the Tigers, and those stupid black compass's. I wanted to scream this felt like a sick joke.
"Yeah... sure," I thought. I gave her a slight fake smile and followed her to the booth. I didn't want to play, but she looked so happy for some reason, and I didn't want to ruin it.
An older man with a Hitler styled mustache operated the booth. When we got closer, he gave us a kind smile and seemed very welcoming. "Hello, do you want to play Maam?"
"Yes, can we both play?" Mom asked. She picked me up and set me on the counter.
"I'm sorry, but you have to be ten-years-old to play," He apologized. My Mom seemed disappointed as was I. I mean being this small had a lot of downsides and adults being worried you would hurt yourself with everything was annoying.
"Aww that's too bad, but I'm sure Billy still wants the Tiger so I'll play," Mom said giving me a frown. Truthfully I wanted the Tiger I always thought it looked cool even when I fought Sivana here. I hope my Mom is more of a pro now than when we were here the first time ten years ago.
"Going for the Tiger are you. Well, I'll let you know you have to hit three ballons in a row to win the Tiger and no one has ever done that in the fairs 20-year history," The man proclaimed oozing confidence.
I knew my Mom wasn't perfect back then, but something felt different. I'm not sure if it had anything to do with this weird morning with her acting like I always dreamed about, but I couldn't stop myself from cheering her on. "You can do it, Mom. I know you can." I cheered.
She was surprised at my outburst and turned to me, "Aww thanks Billy, that was cute."
I didn't like being called cute, but her touch of affection was comforting and caused me to blush.
She paid the man before he gave her three darts. The darts had different colored handles with one being blue, one red and one yellow. She picked up the blue one and took aim.
POP!
She hit a green balloon in the middle of the board. I clapped excitedly happy to see she popped one. She smiled at me before picking up the yellow dart.
"There's one two more to go," The man said.
POP!
She hit a pink balloon right next to the green balloon. The man looked like he was starting to sweat, and I was overwhelmed with excitement because we were one ballon away from getting that Tiger.
"Let's go, Mom! Let's go, Mom! One more!" I cheered.
"You'll never get the last one," The man said not sounding so confident. I snickered at this happy to see that bravado from earlier disappear.
Mom picked up the final dart the red one. I had to tap my feet against the counter to contain how excited I was. After all these years I was getting that Tiger. She lined up the shot and fired.
I felt as if the dart was moving in slow motion as it glided through the air. I closed my eyes and held my breath as it came down, scared of where it would land.
POP!
The third white balloon popped, creating a row of pooped ballons showing my Mom was a pro at this. "Yes!" She and I screamed together. The man yelled, "No!" and looked like he wanted to pull his hair out.
Mom scooped me up into a hug allowing me to feel the warmth that you only felt from a mothers touch. Somehow she had this new power that she didn't have before.
"Thank you! Thank you!" I yelled as she put me down.
"Your welcome, I knew this would make you happy," She said, kissing me on my brow.
The man reluctantly pulled down a tiger and handed it to my Mom, who then gave it to me. The Tiger was a sherbert orange with the black stripes reminding me of Eugene's thick glasses. The plush smelled so good and new and felt almost as soft as the fleece blanket from the car if not softer.
I'm not sure why I'm so happy about getting a little plush Tiger. Maybe it's because of what happened last time I was here or because my Mom tried so hard to get it for me. Nonetheless, I couldn't be happier.
Mom thanked the man who grudgingly waved us goodbye upset that we took his Tiger. I laughed at this.
After the booth, we decided to go on a few rides they had set up. Most of them were kiddie rides, so I went on by myself, and I thought I would hate them, but instead, I had fun.
They had a ride where you rode a little plane that went about a foot off the ground, and then you had little cars you could drive on a small track I enjoyed that one too. I knew that I was truthfully fourteen, and I shouldn't enjoy this, but for some reason I did.
After I got off one of the rides, Mom pulled me aside so we could sit on a bench.
"So are you having fun?" She asked.
"Yes, tons," I replied beaming.
"See I told you we would have fun and that there was nothing to worry about," She explained. I knew she was right, but after everything, I've gone thru I had my doubts.
I still gripped my Tiger and made sure to hold him tight afraid I might lose him. After waiting for him so long I wasn't going to lose him.
We were sitting there taking a break when I heard my stomach grumble, and it must have been loud because she heard it too.
"Someone must be hungry?" She commented. I blushed at her comment as I put my hands over my stomach, hoping to muffle the noise. It didn't work.
She laughed at this before getting up, "Well, mister, I think we need to get you some food before you cause an earthquake."
I felt embarrassed at her comment, especially when she called me mister, but I quickly nodded and took her hand.
We stopped at a small Hot Dog stand and ordered some food, so I got a Hot Dog while she got a Pretzel. While we sat and ate, I thought about today's events.
I woke up this morning as a little kid again in my Mom's apartment, and my Mom didn't seem concerned that I was there as if I always been there. This bothered me because it just didn't seem right. And what if this was some sick trick being played on me or a twisted nightmare that I wouldn't wake up from.
When I finished my food I went to go throw the trash away, as I got up I left the Tiger on the table knowing I would be back in a minute and my Mom was right there she would watch it. But when I came back my Tiger wasn't on the table, but instead in the arms of a stranger.
This stranger held my Tiger as he talked to my Mom, and she was smiling. I sprinted over, making sure everything was okay and that my Tiger was safe. As I got closer, I got a look at the stranger. He was a man. He had a well-trimmed goatee and a sharp haircut that made him look rich like that Bruce Wayne that I saw on tv that one time. He was dressed in slacks and an expensive winter coat.
Mom was talking and smiling at him when she noticed me. "Oh, there are you are."
I ran over to my Mom, letting her scoop me up and put me in her lap.
The man looked at me and saw glare I gave him. He had my Tiger, and I didn't like it plus something seemed off about this guy. "Hi, little guy," He said softly kneeling to my eye level, "I think this is yours."
He put the Tiger out for me, so I grabbed it and turned away from the strange man resting my head into my Mom's shoulder.
The man seemed nice, but yet he still reminded me of some foster Dad's I've had before, but these dads weren't like Victor.
"Billy?" My Mom said, pulling me off her shoulder so she could see my face. "What do you say to the nice man for saving your Tiger?"
I didn't want to thank this guy, but the look my Mom meant business, so I gave in. "Thank you," I said quietly.
"Your welcome buddy," He said with a smirk.
He then turned back to Mom, "Well, I have to get going, but can I call you?
My Mom hesitated at first thinking over the question, "Sure, that would be fine."
The man smiled before walking away, I watched him as long as I could, but with me being so short that wasn't for very long.
"Who was that?" I abruptly asked.
"A nice man who found your Tiger when it fell off the table," She explained.
"Oh," I said quietly. "But why is he going to call you?"
My Mom sighed, "Because he wants to be friends."
I knew what my Mom actually meant, but she obviously didn't want to tell me, so I dropped it.
"Time to get up I have to throw my trash away, and then we need to head home," Mom instructed as she started to get up. I scooted off her lap and sat back down by myself.
"Wait right here, Billy. I'll be right back," She ordered before she began to walk away.
"Mom?"
She turned back to me showing slight irritation, "Yes Billy?"
"I..I love you."
I couldn't believe those words had come out of my mouth, but after this whole day, I couldn't hold them anymore.
She instantly smiled and came back over. "I know you love me and I love you too," She said before kissing me on the top of my head. I watched her walk off, feeling like my dream was finally coming true.
As I waited, I saw some other mothers laughing with there kids as I saw them I remembered being envious of them for so long, but now I had what they had — a Mom.
I waited for a long time, and it got to a point where I was starting to get worried. It should have taken her a minute maybe two tops to throw the trash out. What if something happened to her? What if she left me again?
"No!" I thought. She wouldn't do that this time's different. She's different.
I needed answers, so while still holding my Tiger, I ran as quickly as I could to the closest trash can. When I got there, I saw the back of my Mom with her red jacket and a white knit hat. I tapped her leg, happy that I found her. Only I didn't.
She turned around and looked at me, but it wasn't my Mom; it was a different Woman who looked confused and worried.
"Are you lost, buddy? Where's your Mom?"
My words were stuck in my throat as I felt the panic come to life. "Not again! Not again," I thought.
This is what happened the first time this is how I lost her. How could this happen again? I knew tears were coming, and this time, I didn't feel like stopping them, so I let them escape. The woman tried to comfort me, but it was no use I was too distracted.
She grabbed my hand and led me to the security booth, making me feel as if I was reliving my number one nightmare.
Soon the officers were voicing over the intercom asking for the Mother of Billy Batson. There were two officers while the one yelled over the intercom the other came over to me and attempted to comfort me.
He threw a blanket over my shoulders and pulled a chair up next to me. "Don't worry son they always come back, will find her."
I took my jacket sleeve and started to wipe the tears away as they began to dry up. "No, they don't," I said bluntly. The officer seemed confused and left his mouth open, unsure of what to say.
After this whole day, I was starting to think that maybe things would be different and that I would get my second chance with my Mom, but it turns out I was wrong. Again.
Maybe if I left now I could find Freddie and go back to my Family and grow up with them, but do they even know me, would they recognize or also remember me.
I was about to throw the blanket off and run when I saw a shade of red and white running at me. "MOM!"
I leaped off the chair, threw the blanket aside, and ran into her bear hug. "Oh my god, Billy, I thought I lost you!" She said emotionally.
"I thought I lost you," I replied, almost crying again. She pulled me away so she could see my face. She pushed the bangs sticking out of my hat to the side, "You didn't, and you never will, and you know why?"
"Why?" I asked, tearing up.
"Because I love you."
