Yeah! On for another chapter! Hopefully it won't be too bad !


Sherlock

I watched him for the first few weeks. Mycroft had installed these cameras in 221 B and John failed to notice them, thankfully. But I couldn't stand to see him sobbing and mourning me even though I wasn't really dead. Not to mention him going through my things. God I hated that. I'd have to put everything back in order when I came back. Well, I guess I should forgive him for that, he thinks I'm dead, so what would I care. So, after exactly 7 weeks, 2 days and 9 hours, I told Mycroft to watch instead. He was to tell me if anything went wrong, more than his now usual state of a depressed man.

In six months, I had gotten two of Moriarty's sniper's down, along with a few more of his men. There is only one left. And I also have to make sure the whole web is down and assure John and I are secure afterwards. I know I will get back to John within the next 6 months or so, but I can hardly wait until then.

The first two had been quite easy. They were a couple. After I found the woman, all I had to do was ask questions as to where I would find her husband, and her body language always contradicted her words. She told me I wasn't close, yet her hands shook as we moved closer to the motel where he stayed. She constantly looked every direction except for the one I needed to go to find him.

Of course I asked where I could find the third one, but all I got out of them was his name: Sebastian Moran. It would do. But I had to kill them. Not that I'm a killer, but it was them or John along with Lestrade and Mrs. Hudson. The choice wasn't hard to make. Not like I made them suffer much either. I mean, I did give them some pain killers before dislocating both their jaws after a few punches and broke their arms, legs, fingers… The most fun part was seeing how they both suffered more when I did something to their loved one rather than when I hurt them. Okay, maybe I was a little extreme but come on, they did deserve it. Mycroft says being away from John is driving me crazy, I just think it's just making me a genius. I had to make them feel how I felt, and at least a little of what John must be feeling, and I couldn't find any better way to do so.

Now that these two lovebirds were happily married for life in… hell I guess, I'm moving on to Moran. He must've made a fake identity for the time being. And he is in this willingly; Moriarty had nothing on him to make him to this. No family, no friends, or barely and no faults to be ashamed of. So he was willing to kill me simply out of pure evil, just like my dear friend Jim. I had my friends on the streets that were keeping an eye out for any man that fit his description; it would make this search much easier.


John

A box full. Why did he keep it? Did he still use it? I don't think so. I would've known. I mean I did spend practically all my free time with him.

Unconsciously I took out one of the many syringes in the box and a bottle with some… cocaine? I've never really tried it; I guess I'll just see the effect it has. See the world through Sherlock's eyes maybe…

I tied a rubber band around my left arm and tapped my arm a little to make my vein visible enough. After taking some of the liquid into the syringe, I inserted it into my arm, as I had learned in med school. God this wasn't like me, but this felt natural, like I've done it thousand times before. Sherlock would hate me for doing this. But it's not like anyone else would know about it, so who cares.


Wow… never thought I could feel this good. Everything is so peaceful now. I guess I understand why so many people use drugs after all. This is so pleasing. Colorful. Emotionless, neutral. Simple.

"Why is life so complicated anyways? Not like it was worth it, we all end up dying or killing ourselves in the end. Ohh.. I shouldn't say that. He had his reasons. Wait… Am I talking to myself? This is really awesome. It really makes it easier to say things aloud. Shut up John. No Sherlock, you always want me to shut up, I have a word to say in this too you know! Not because you're some kind of freaking amazing bastard genius that you can decide on everything. Yes, it does give me the right actually, so shut up I can't think. Ok ok.. I'll shut up then." He totally would've said that.

"Sherlock…" I whispered. "I hope you're happy with yourself. I… You were the most horrible flatmate. The most irritating, selfish man I've ever known! I don't even know how I did to live with you for 18 months!... But God do I not regret one second of it all… You know me like no one Sherlock. You know me better than I know myself. I still remember when you proved to me that I didn't need a cane. I didn't even realize it until you said it. And when you just knew that I missed the adrenaline of the war: "And yet I said dangerous and here you are". But you were so arrogant. Oh I hated you some days. But never as much as I… as I cherished to have a best friend such as you. I… I miss my friend. I miss you Sherlock…" I couldn't help the tears falling as I was now crunched in a little ball holding on to the detective's clothes.

The early morning sunlight came across the window to hit me in the face. It literally felt as if it hit me, my head felt so bad. Too much crying again… Why do I have headache when I cry? It's stupid. It's maybe because of what I took last night too, still not sure what it was though. The only thing I know is that I surprisingly loved it. But I'm never doing that again. No more drugs, it's not for me. That's not how we deal with problems.

I slowly crawled to the radio and put a violin song I had secretly recorded while Sherlock was playing. I loved it. I went to the bed under the covers and decided to sleep some more, before going out to visit Sherlock's grave.


Sorry again for short chapters, I'm kind of really bad at long chapters! Love you guys !