Chapter Three - Slumber Less Party

"Thank you," Leah said as I frowned at Charlie's half-eaten supper.

"What for?" I asked and dumped the waste in the trashcan.

"For not asking me how I'm doing," she sighed, "You were the only one all day who didn't."

"You're welcome. I know how annoying that question can be. What smells so good?"

"Hot fudge," she smiled slyly, "I know what you're thinking… hot fudge and brownies -too much chocolate."

"There's no such thing as too much chocolate."

The oven timer beeped and I took the brownies out. While they cooled, I told Leah about Rene's spirit food. I went on to tell her about a few of my mother's more memorable escapades.

"You're mom sounds cool, but more like another teenager," she observed.

"She is more like a friend than a mom," I agreed.

We made our sundaes while I fielded questions about my mom and my life in Phoenix. I clicked on the television and turned the volume down to provide some background noise. We got comfortable and ate in silence for a while.

"Can I ask you something?" Leah broke the silence.

"Sure."

"Before I left, Sam told me to watch myself around you. He said you were a vampire sympathizer," she began and I felt the intended stab at me, "Why would he say something so absurd?"

"When I moved here, I became very close to the Cullen's," I whispered and waited for the pain when it did not, I continued, "Especially Edward Cullen. Our relationship had tongues wagging all over Forks and La Push. "

"I have been out of the loop," she sighed heavily, "I kind of disconnected from the world for a long time."

"The numbness is easier to deal with," I offered quietly.

"Exactly!" she exhaled, "No seemed to understand. My mom was so patient with me at first. But as the months passed, she expected me to move on. I didn't have the strength and now I'm stuck in this…huge hole that I've dug for myself."

"Now that you understand what happened," I again offered, "Maybe it will be easier to move forward."

"Would it be easier for you?" she said without a pause.

I thought about that for a moment then said, "I suppose it wouldn't make a difference. I am only able to function at all right now because of Jacob."

"I've always liked Jake," she said warmly, "I wish he was the alpha…things would be so much easier."

"He just didn't want that kind of responsibility," I commented, "Sam's got that dominating personality that make's him a good alpha, but Jake's too agreeable."

"I think Jake would be an amazing alpha," she argued, "When he went over all the wolf law, he made it interesting and fun. I almost forgot what a curse this is."

"Jake told me the best part of being a wolf is the speed," I remembered aloud.

"I haven't had a chance to run yet. All I've done is destroy my mother's couch and scare my…" she sighed and left the sentence unfinished.

"Be careful then," I tried to say seriously, "Charlie loves this couch."

"I will," she laughed softly, "I'm so glad you invited me. I really needed this."

"I'm glad you came over," I said sincerely, "When I'm alone, I worry so much about Jacob and the pack. If any of them were to get hurt or even killed because of me, I don't think I could handle that."

She smiled knowingly and confessed, "Jake worries about you too. He told me not to let you out of my sight. Why is this redheaded freak after you?"

"They didn't tell you?" I asked.

"I've only been an official pack member for maybe an hour," she stated the obvious.

"Oh… But then how did you know Victoria is a redhead?"

"Jake described her," she explained, "So I could keep an eye out."

"Well the short story is," I began with the short synapses that I had given the pack.

She tilted her head slightly with a questioning look on her face. And before I knew it, words began flowing out of me before I could stop them. I started with when James targeted me on the baseball field and finished with my near death in the ballet studio.

Leah stayed quiet for a few moments then said, "If that was a short story, I'd hate to hear one of your long ones."

"Sorry," I whispered, "That's never happened to me before. I've just never been able to talk about what happened…I feel a little lighter."

"I just have one question," she said trying not to smile, "Vampires play baseball?"

"Yes it was something to see," I described the game then the flood of words hit again.

I described the big white house and did not stop until I had told her about the first time I had laid eyes on them. After my word marathon, I felt extremely light-extremely light and embarrassed.

"I am so sorry," I blushed, "I did it again."

"It's okay," she reassured, "That was…interesting. I wondered about how you became mixed up in all this. When did Jake imprint on you?"

"He hasn't imprinted on me," I said the end of my sentence trailing off.

Something occurred to me just then. What if he imprinted on someone else? I would be left alone once again. My earthbound sun would belong to another.

"Even if he does imprint on someone else," she said reading my mind, "It won't be stronger than how he feels for you. I'm sorry, he's just so crazy about you; I assumed he had imprinted."

"It's okay," I said sadly, "I just didn't think about that before I pledged what was left of my heart to him."

"Come on," she said changing the subject, "I need some water and I'll help with dishes."

We made quick work of the dishes then settled at the table while the hot fudge pan soaked. Leah asked why Edward left and I proceeded to give her the whole story. She now knew everything, and I surprised at how good I felt. How good it felt to finally confide in someone.

"I hope one day," Leah wished, "That I can look back at my time with Sam and smile. To believe…really believe that I was lucky to have had that time with him. After all, he was my first everything."

She was quiet for a minute then continued, "You were right earlier. I have searched his eyes for that spark…A glimmer that my Sam still exists in there somewhere. The longer I stayed... I realized Sam had changed. He wasn't the man I'd fallen in love with, and I changed too. I have become so bitter that I don't even know myself anymore. I should have left the minute after I graduated just like Rebecca and Rachel did. But like you, I held out hope that my Sam would come back to me."

"That's not why I stayed," I argued.

"Isn't it?" she countered and looked at me intensely.

She was right. I had been holding out hope for months that he would return. But tonight, Edward's voice told me to 'be happy'. I could go to Florida to be with my mother, but I had again tied myself to this place. I could not leave Forks any more than I could leave Jake.

"When did you meet Sam?" I said changing the subject.

"My first day of school," she said in an amused tone, "Our elementary school is very small and lack of teachers forced them to combine grades. Sam was a year ahead of me, but I sat in the same classroom with him until he started high school. I didn't really notice him until his dad left; he became sort of a bully so I steered clear."

She took a deep breath and laughed, "I didn't really like any of the boys on the reservation. I liked boys that were completely different. Don't laugh but I wanted to marry Zach from 'Saved by the Bell'."

I bit my tongue and said, "He was really cute."

"When Emily wasn't around," she said and smiled at the memory, "I spent a lot of time at the beach flirting with the paleface boys. To say the least my dad was appalled when he found out. I was grounded a lot after that. Then I started high school. It had only been a year, but Sam started looking at me differently. He was hanging around the house a lot then he asked me out. I said no."

"You said no?" I asked surprised.

"I couldn't see him as anything but a bully, but he was persistent," she sighed then smiled a bittersweet smile, "One afternoon, he asked my dad if he could court me. My dad didn't even hesitate with his approval. At first, it was just nice to get out of the house. Then eventually I realized that I loved him. I can't tell you the moment it happened because love just kind of snuck up on me."

I thought about how easily Jake had transitioned from my best friend to my boyfriend. Then the fear that he would imprint came over me. I pushed it to the back of my mind and concentrated on Leah.

"We were inseparable for three years, and I was so happy…I took for granted that he'd always be there. We had plans for our future together. I was a junior and he was a senior when we started scoping out colleges. He was going to work and save during my senior year. Then we were gonna go away to college together. Then he…disappeared."

After several minutes of silence, I said, "You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

"You're not getting off that easy," she said in jest, "I had to listen to your long drawn out tale."

"Okay," I chuckled, "Sorry."

"I'll have to tell you the rest later," she said and turned her head to the side, "Jake just jumped the back fence."

A moment later, there was a quiet knock on the back door. I glanced at the clock before I opened the door, and it was just after one in the morning. With Leah her the time had flew; I liked that. He hugged me a little too tightly, and I became super aware that he was shirtless.

"Anything new?" I asked dreading the answer.

"Nothing," he reassured but he seemed a little off.

"Are you sure?" I prodded.

"It's nothing to worry about," he dismissed.

"Tell me Jake…Please," I begged.

"We didn't find a fresh trail anywhere except for up on the cliffs," he said lightly.

"Well that's not so bad," I said relieved, "I was afraid she'd follow my scent into La Push."

"Nope," his tone remained light, "Just hung out on the cliffs then back into the water."

"Okay," I said, "Sit down. I promised you some brownies."

"I'll have to get them to go," he said sadly, "I have to get back out there. Embry had to go home so it's just me and Jared tonight."

"Oh," I mirrored his sadness and threw in some guilt for good measure.

"Get some sleep Bells," he said warmly, "And I will see you later."

"Be careful," I said urgently.

"Sure, sure" he said and gave me a quick kiss, "I love you."

"Love you," I said and handed him his brownies.

I stared at the back door for several moments and Leah finally said, "Let's try and get some sleep. I tell you a bedtime story about how a knight in shining armor turned into a wolf and took off with his fair maiden's best friend."

"Okay," I agreed as I turned to leave the kitchen, "Um I've never had someone sleep over-in my teen years anyway. I only have a double bed would you rather sleep on the couch. I could take the recliner?"

"You worry about the weirdest things Bella," she sighed amused.

"So the bed then?" I asked.

"Bed," she said and shook her head, "Definitely the bed."

I led the way up the stairs as quietly as I could manage then whispered, "Charlie's room."

"I've been here before," she whispered back, "Our dads have been friends like forever."

Without another word, I entered my room. I tried to remember if the Clearwater's had ever been over when I was visiting. I grabbed my pajamas and shut the door. As I walked back, I noticed Leah had a look of repulsion on her face. My room wasn't spotless, but it looked decent to me.

"What is it?" I asked thinking maybe the brownie sundae was not liking her.

"My nose burns," she said, "There's an odor in your house Bella. Downstairs it's barely noticeable, but more concentrated in here."

"Edward spent a lot of time in here," I informed then asked, "His scent causes you pain?"

"It feels like I'm getting a head cold," she replied, "It's not bad though."

"Let me get a fan," I said and headed toward my closet, "Air it out in here."

She did not answer but began moving around the room slowly. I could not hear her sniffing but it looked as if she were tracking something. I found the fan but stopped fascinated by my guest.

A floorboard creaked under her weight-which was not uncommon in Charlie's house. But it seemed something about the noise caught her attention. She got down on all fours and lowered her face until it nearly touched the planks. Satisfied, she backed off then her fingertips searched around the edges. A short piece of floor lifted up and she began pulling items out of the floor. The first was a CD in a jewel case.

I turned toward the window when I realized what had been stowed away under my floorboards. There was a chill in the air as I wedged the fan in the window. My concentration was on the task of putting the plug in the outlet and turning on the fan. I stood in the clean air inhaling and exhaling slowly.

When I finally turned back toward my room, Leah was sitting on my bed examining the pictures. I knew very well the subject that they contained. The need to look at them was strong, but my newly made commitment to Jake was stronger-I hoped.

"Is this what I think it is?" she inquired and held up the compact disc that contained my lullaby.

"Yup," I replied, "Proof that he existed."

"Can I listen to it?" she asked quietly.

I nodded slowly as I plugged my headphones into my CD player and handed them to my guest. Grabbing my pajamas, I headed toward the bathroom. I thought about how much progress I had made today and knew the music threatened to set me back.

My teeth were meticulously brushed. My face was thoroughly washed. My hair was completely brushed out. Those tasks finished, I looked into my face and found it to be more pale than usual. Keep it together I told myself-you can handle this.

When I returned to my room, Leah was looking at the airline tickets. All the other items were nowhere in sight. I took a deep breath and perched on the edge of my bed.

"These tickets are still good," Leah said, "What do you say we run away to Florida. There are still a few days left of spring break."

"Let me grab my bikini," I said with not much enthusiasm, "Did you listen to the CD?"

"I did."

"What did you think?" I wondered aloud.

"I think you never had a chance."