Let the show begin!
"Everybody on the bus to Epcot!" Aragorn announced the next morning.
Several grumbles were heard, but most willingly hopped on the bus.
"Look! It's a big ball! Like the one Pippin looked at when he wasn't supposed to!" Merry shouted, pointing at the Epcot ball. Pippin's eyes began to well with tears, but Aragorn told Merry to shut up. Pippin liked this.
"What's first?" Eomer asked. "Do you think you'll get sick on Mission: SPACE?" Aragorn asked basically everyone. Only Sam and Eowyn backed out. "Alright, off we go then!" Aragorn said, guiding everyone to the entrance.
After waiting only a few minutes in line, everyone was separated into two teams: The Hobbits and Legolas, and everyone else. A little TV flickered on in front of them, revealing a man's face. He talked about safety, how you shouldn't ride if you have certain problems, and the "space sickness bags". Several comments were made about this.
Pretty soon everyone was assigned a job, and they entered the ride. Each simulator only sat four, so the two groups were separated. They strapped themselves in, and the panels before them began to lower. This terrified Legolas and Pippin.
The ride went as it should. Pippin, who was the engineer, was nervous about pushing the "hypersleep" button, because he thought it would put them to sleep. But in the end, everyone liked it. Well, Pippin threw up once, but then felt all better for the rest of the day.
"Test Track! Test Track!" everyone chanted. Aragorn stared up at the ride before him. Above them was a huge track, and every now and then a car would whiz past before you had time to ask "what was that?". "What's it do?" he asked. Merry stepped forward. "It's like a roller coaster, except it's like a crash dummy test." Aragorn's eye twitched. "Crash dummy?" he asked. Merry nodded. "I'm no dummy," Aragorn said. A few members of the group snickered. "A heard that, Boromir!" Aragorn shouted. "Fine! We'll go!" And with that he marched right into line.
The line was long. All along it there were demonstrations of things you might find at a "GM" dealership. Anything from whirring motors to spinning flywheels were there. Not to mention crash dummies. As they neared the end of the line, Aragorn spied a particular dummy that didn't settle too right with him. It was a dummy sitting down, and a giant hammer would pull back to gain speed and come crashing down on the dummy's knee ever thirty seconds or so. "Pippin," Aragorn choked, "You did say crash dummy, right?" Pippin ignored him.
Separating into two cars, since each sat only six, they all buckled up, and took off.
The first "test" was a hill climb. The car picked up speed and smoothly went up and down a hill.
Next was a test which involved driving over cobblestone. "We-e-e-e-e-e-e!!" the Hobbits squealed as the passed over the bricks.
The third test was a brake test. "Oh dear…" Aragorn squeaked. But there was no stopping the car, nor the pain his neck would be in by the end of this. The car gained speed, about 30 mph., and tore down the road, until it came to a jolting stop instantly and without warning. Aragorn heard a cracking sound as his head jerked to the side.
This test was repeated, and now Aragorn's neck was twice as painful.
Next came simple curves and straight driving. They increased speed with every turn, and with each increase Pippin's screaming increased in volume.
The last test consisted of three element tests. The first scared them all not because it was a heat test, and they were really, really hot, but because Denethor was inside! Yes, the steward was peering from behind a red light, holding a flaming stick, staring at Faramir maniacally. "DAD! What are you doing here?!" Faramir screamed. "I've come for you!" Denethor laughed evilly. But before Denethor could get to his youngest son, the car passed through the room, and onto the next, which was basically a feezer. "What's worse, burns, or frostbite?" Merry asked Frodo. "Ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean 3?" Frodo asked his cousin, "Maybe that'll answer your question. But I really think you should ask Faramir." Merry looked back to the back seat of their car, where Sam, Eowyn, and Faramir were. Faramir looked dazed and freaked out.
Next they took off outside, down the track that they had seen at the entrance. Their speed increased to 60 mph. Pippin screamed his lungs out. By the end of the ride, he could barely speak.
"Why do you think Denethor is so intent on burning Faramir?" Frodo asked Boromir after the ride was over. "Nobody really knows," Boromir answered, "Some say it happened after he was elected as king of the Pyromaniacs Anonymous Club. Others say it's because he never got to roast marshmallows as a kid. Who knows? Maybe he just can't stand him, and he doesn't want any remains." Faramir glared at Boromir at this.
"Where to next?" Frodo asked, trying to change the subject. "Can I suggest something?" Eowyn asked hopefully. Aragorn nodded. "Okay," Eowyn said, "Don't call me stupid or anything, but I kinda want to go to The Living Seas." A few people moaned at the idea, but most agreed, and they soon were at the entrance.
Aragorn got out his map. "'Board a "clamobile" and join your undersea pals on a quest to find Nemo" Aragorn read the description. "everyone but Eowyn moaned loudly, trying to make their point. "I saw that movie!" Pippin said hoarsely.
Even after all of the pleading and whining, all ten ended up intwo-person vehicles shaped like clams. They rolled through halls lined with fish tanks, along with projections of Nemo, Marlin, and Dory. As they passed a section with a lantern fish, Pippin clung to Merry. "It's scary!" Pippin whined. "Get off me!" Merry said, shoving Pippin away.
Finally the ride ended, and they were dropped off at the original Living Seas that we veteran Disney World goers know and love.
"Dolphins!" Legolas shouted, running over to the dolphins tank. Frodo followed. "His name's Flipper," Frodo said. "Where's it say that?" Legolas asked, searching for a plaque or something. Frodo just shrugged and stared at the dolphin. Legolas kept his eyes on Frodo.
"That was a complete waste of time," Boromir said. "I actually agree" Aragorn said, ignoring Eowyn's protests. Then Aragorn glanced over across the lake at The World Showcase. "We're going over there?" Merry moaned. Aragorn nodded and started walking in its direction.
"What's in Canada?" Frodo asked nobody particular. "That!" Pippin shouted, pointing at a stage. It wasn't the stage that got his attention. Oh no. It was who was on the stage. "Men! Men in skirts! Men in skirts playing electric guitars!" Merry screamed over the noise. "I think the correct term is kilt," Boromir corrected. "You would know…" Merry said under his breath. "Has anyone seen Pippin?" Aragorn asked. "He was right next to me a few seconds ago!" Merry answered, looking everywhere for his little buddy.
Suddenly, everyone happened to look at the stage just in time to see Pippin dancing around on it, with a man desperately trying to catch him. "Get him!" Aragorn shouted. Everyone ran up onto the stage, while the musicians were still attempting to play. That, however, wasn't going so well. "What do you think you're doing?!" Aragorn shouted at the youngest Hobbit. "Dancing!" Pippin said happily. Just then Boromir managed to grab Pippin and drag him off of the stage kicking and screaming.
England went much better, aside from Frodo falling into the fountain.
So then came France. Faramir had to literally restrain Eowyn from going into the perfume shop. "Look at the little Mickey dolls!" Pippin said, hugging one. Everyone else tried to pretend the worker wasn't giving them a dirty look.
After Pippin and Legolas had both bought a Mickey, they headed to Italy. "Why is that statue not wearing any clothes?" Sam asked as innocently as he could. "Because the guy who made it was a-" Legolas was cut off by Aragorn slapping him. "OW!!!" Legolas screamed, but didn't hit him back for fear of his life.
China was one of the worst, because that, my friend, is where their lunch was scheduled. Nine Dragons restaurant was in for it.
"We have a reservation," Aragorn told the Chinese waitress. The woman nodded and shouted Chinese words at a fellow waitress, who bowed to the group of ten. "How many?" she asked. "Erm… ten," Aragorn said quietly. "Follow me," she said, though not many understood what she was saying because of her accent.
The ten followed the waitress to their large table, and sat down as politely as they could. It was a pretty fancy place, so they all figured they should be on their best behavior. And they were, until the waitress brought chopsticks.
"Look what I can do!" Pippin had one chopstick sticking through his hair like Pebbles from The Flinstones, and the other in his mouth, like a rose. "Oh yeah? Well, watch this!" Merry said, sticking both chopsticks in his mouth. "I'm a walrus!" "That's nothin'!" Frodo exclaimed, "I can juggle 'em!" "Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Frodo, but I think I can top that," Sam said, and began to eat with the utensils.
"It's a sword!" Faramir exclaimed. "Fear me, my brother! Tonight you shall die!" Boromir sad, drawing his… erm… chopstick. "Tonight? Isn't it day?" Faramir asked, pausing for a moment. "Well, yeah," Boromir admitted, "But tonight just sounded better." And the brothers began a full-out swordfight, sitting at that very table.
Legolas actually tried to eat with the chopsticks, but wound up with noodles in his hair. He immediately switched to a fork.
Eowyn, who hated Chinese food, was busy trying to get her brother to shut up. That's because Eomer was using his chopsticks as drumsticks.
And poor, poor Aragorn. Just trying to have a normal meal. Aragorn could do nothing. Just sit there and turn red with embarrassment.
The meal finally ended. Actually, it ended early. The manager bribed the group with 100 fortune cookies to leave. As they munched their cookies and read their fortunes, the ten made their way to Mexico. "My fortune says 'Beware Dunadan with heavy bag of fortune cookies," Legolas said. "Ain't that the truth," came Eomer's answer.
Ah, Mexico. My personal favorite of the World Showcase. "What the heck is in Mexico?" Frodo asked. "A ride," Aragorn said, getting really worn out from carrying the fortune cookies. "A ride?! What kind of ride?!" Pippin asked. "A boat ride," Aragorn huffed, "Now will you shut up until we get on?" "Or what?" Merry asked. "Or I throw away the cookies," Aragorn said, "Though I might just do that either way." "Noooooooo!!!" Pippin screamed, hurting everyone's ears, "Anything but that! We'll be good, won't we, Merry?" Merry just rolled his eyes.
In the end Aragorn dumped the bag anyway, resulting in having to restrain Pippin on a bench for a full half hour while everyone else souvenir shopped.
They returned with no purchases, but soon they found themselves insode a building in Mexico. It was built and decorated to look like outdoor Mexico at night, with items for sale and a restaurant. Half of the group bought sombreros, IE Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Boromir, and Eomer. Eomer bought the extra jumbo sized one, which was three feet wide in all directions.
They all finally boarded the boat, which was more like Small World than Splash Mountain. It passed through giant TV screens and Mexican scenery. Pippin laughed hysterically every time Donald Duck showed up on the screens, which was every screen.
Luckily no one fell out of the boat, and nobody got hurt. Well, except the one guy that Aragorn had to punch to keep him from killing Pippin. But other than that, it was just fine and dandy.
"The firework show is going to start in about twenty minutes," Aragorn announced, "We'd better get a good spot now." "And wait around for twenty minutes?!" Legolas whined. "Yeah," Aragorn glared at the Elf.
Twenty minutes of whining, climbing on fences, getting questioned by security guards, and 19 games of "20 Questions", finally ended. The firework show began, and everyone oohed and aahed.
And just as quickly as it had begun (not very short amount of time, actually), it ended. The music ended with a bang, and everyone heard a familiar cry of "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish!!!" and the silhouette of Gollum jumping into the lake. Apparently he thought a rock at the bottom of the lake was a fish. The final firework exploded, along with Gollum. "I thought he was dead!" Frodo exclaimed. "He is now…" Boromir said.
Everyone got back on the bus, sombreros and all, and trudged back to their rooms at the resort. Pippin fell asleep before he even made it to the bed. Nobody bothered to pick him up.
The next day they all got a late start getting on the road. At 12:00 they all piled into the RV and headed back home. "What's that?" Legolas asked, who was aloud to ride shotgun this time. "Looks like a toll booth," Aragorn said, getting his 50 cents ready. "Uh uh," Legolas said, "The sign says 'Stop and Pay Troll'." "It's probably just a prank," Aragorn said, "Some stupid vandal probably drew on an R." "Uh uh," Legolas said again, "Doesn't look like it."
Aragorn cautiously pulled up to the booth, only to see an enormous cave troll inside. "EEP!" Legolas shrieked, causing everyone else tov start screaming, since they just so happened to decide to see what Legolas was looking at. Chaos erupted, and Aragorn began screaming along with them as he gunned it and took off down the road 120 mph.
Legolas began screaming louder as he noted the troll chasing them, once again, causing everyone else to follow his lead.
Surprisingly the group got home with only a few bruises and gashes. Aragorn collapsed into bed, regardless of how many questions Eldarion had for him. Once Arwen got Eldarion out of the room and locked the door, she finally got to ask Aragorn how it went. "I am never taking those maniacs to Disney World again," Aragorn managed. Arwen smiled gently and hid the brochure for the county fair behind her back.
Credits and Notes: Please Read!
-Denethor following the group was my brother's idea.
-The "Stop and Pay Troll" thing was something we made up one day.
-They actually sell three foot wide sombreros at Epcot
-The fish thing with Gollum after the fireworks was something me and my brother made up while walking out of Epcot immediately after the firework show.
So how did you like the whole thing? Please review! I love reviews! Review and you'll be my very good friend for evers and evers! Maybe you wouldn't like that...
Anyhoo, thanks for hamgin' in there! You rock!
