"I'm tired, Mary. I'm tired."
Frank sighed. For another moment he allowed himself to stare at the photograph, then he turned back to his bureau. Leave the past behind… it was one of his favorite pictures, had already been so before he had come to realize how fragile and short-lasting the situation unfolded on it would be: him, Mary and Jamie on his graduation day from high school. While Jamie had his mother's smile, his eyes resembled more Frank's own, and the joy that was radiating from all of their faces still choked him up sometimes. Not only because he still missed Mary every morning and evening, and in the hours that lay between, but also because it had been long since he had seen that smile of satisfaction and vitality on Jamie.

What had happened to his son in that little matter of years?
Well, one of the main reasons was wrapping her arms around him on the photograph. Even though all his children had been adults, some of them with a family of their own when Mary had died, they still had lost their mother.
And two years later they had lost Joe.

Frank's chin moved forward, preventing the corners of his mouth to go down and give room for some tears he still hadn't shed for his boy. It was true, he had made his peace with the fact that his son, a cop, had been murdered. He knew why and he knew by whom now, and he knew that he would have done the same in Joe's position. He had accepted the cause.
But he could never accept the loss.

A knock on the door, followed by its opening, forced him to come back. Frank looked up, trusting his face to become as calm and heartily as New York was used to.
Garrett frowned. "You need a holiday, boss."
"I just thought so myself."
"Oh…" Garrett clearly wasn't convinced. "But I guess after thinking that you should you realized that for some reason you couldn't?" He shook his head in fake despair as Frank chuckled. If nothing else at least he had made the PC smile. There were enough others who failed at that. Example one, the mayor.
But that was not the reason he was here now. Garrett nodded slowly, then came closer. It hurt to see his boss mimicking his face, becoming serious and worried in the blink of an eye. But what could you expect from a man who sees every cop under his command as family?
"There was a shooting in Creston Avenue two minutes ago. An officer's down, suspect's on the run."
Frank nodded gravely. "Chances he'll pull through?"
Garrett shrugged. "They couldn't say yet. Which might not be too bad."
Another nod. "Who is it?"

Coming to the worst part… Garrett bit his lips. "They're not sure about that either. The call was taken from the 47th precinct, and neither of the three involved officers is from there, so they didn't recognize the voice. Should I call them back and get the names?"

Frank forced himself to keep up what little calmness he still had. "Not yet. They've got other things to worry about now." His cell beeped. "And I do, too. Just make sure every cop on the street looks out for the suspect." He didn't wait for Garrett to nod.

"Hey, Jamie. What can your boss or your father do for you?" Automatically Frank turned back to the photo again. There was nothing he could for his beloved wife anymore. She already was safe and sound in heaven. But he could do something for his son.

Jamie's voice was shaking. "Dad, did you hear about the shooting?"
No.
"Yes, I did. Are you alright?" His body tightened as if this was a blow he could stand against.
"I… I wasn't there."
Frank closed his eyes, relief turning his muscles to jelly. He really needed a holiday.

"Dad, do you know who's been shot at?" Jamie's voice was high-pitched with panic, forcing Frank to stay alert when all he wanted was sleep and forget.
"No, not yet. They chased the guy a lot through…"
"It might be Danny, dad!"

No. The cell shook in his suddenly deaf and limp hands. No, his son was not badly injured. This was not happening again. Danny couln't be hurt because nobody would survive it. Was it that hard to understand? His son was needed by the world to go on, so it couldn't let him die.
Easy as that.
Ice crept up his body, coating every cell with pain and fear. Don't move, don't look, and maybe fate won't see you.

Just that this never had worked till today.