"Look after him." The angel says. You nod your head in agreement. You wish he could come with the two of you. Maybe then he could help you figure out what is going on in your brothers mind.

You can't get the angels' worried look out of your thoughts. Does he know something you don't? He would tell you, wouldn't he? Or is he keeping secrets again to "protect Dean"? Yeah, right, like secrets ever work out for you three.

You know Cas would die in a heartbeat for him, or for you. Often he acts as if he thinks he knows your brother better than you do. Then again, maybe he does. They do share a strong 'profound bond' that you used to kid Dean about.

God, you miss the ability to joke with him like you used to. There are no more shared smiles. No easy way of knowing what the other is feeling. So much seems to be missing now.

You have erected a wall between brothers and can't seem to bring it down. You wish that you didn't feel so betrayed by what he did.
He should understand why what he did was wrong. He will eventually. Right? When he does it won't be too late to repair the damage to your relationship. Will it? It's not like he hates you. Your brother loves you.

Dean would never harm Cas or you. Of course not... Okay, so maybe, lately you don't really understand your brothers increased bloodlust. If he seems so much more vicious killing monsters that's not really a bad thing. Not really. No... not at all. Of course not...

Why does that idea make you so uneasy?

There are so many questions and doubts that swirl around in your mind. It make you fear that not knowing or even knowing the answers may lead to the same place.