Disclaimer: Kairan Akiyama is not the owner YGO, that title belongs to Kazuki Takahashi (lucky bastard). Arigatou-hamster to Raven-san for beta-ing.

"…" – talking

italics – thoughts

– emphasized

/…/ – hikari to yami

/italics/ – yami to hikari

-italics- – song lyrics (all songs are from "Fallen" CD by Evanescence)

"..." – flashback (Chap. 7 and 8)

Enjoy the ride.

If I could say "I love You"

CHAPTER THREE: Disorder

MOKUBA

I opened the door slowly and crept in quietly. Yeah, into my own house. It was 11:35; I should've been home hours ago. I made it past the servant's rooms, so they were either asleep or doing something else… ew. I was extremely careful when going past Seto's room, which I call the Dragon's Lair when he's really mad, which has been more often ever since the whole Battle City thing. I hoped he'd be asleep by now, and that'd I'd be under the radar until the morning; no such luck. Not only was his music loud and his lava lamp sending out freakishly cool visuals, he called me in. I shivered suddenly, not a good sign. I'm dead. I almost made a run for my room, but thought better of if; it's always better to hear Seto when it's now, rather than after he's had time to think. I opened the door, exposing myself to whatever he was listening to and crept over to his bed. "Hi, Seto. I know you're mad at me for coming home late, but…" I stopped; he was asleep.

Seto was wrapped up in his sheets, again. He was moaning a bit in his sleep, like he had been for the past few days now, I think Yuugi's defeating him again has done something to his psyche.

I just stood there for a while, afraid that if I moved, he'd wake up, but that if I stood there long enough, he'd wake up. I decided to play my trump card: the "I fell asleep waiting for you, big brother" pose; I needed a chair. I was about to go over to his computer when I noticed it… What the heck! Another body in my brother's bed; this was new. I tiptoed over to the other side of the bed and moved the sheet a little. "Jou!"

-x-

JOU

I heard someone say my name, that's what woke me up. "What the… hey, Mokuba," I mumbled, still kinda out of it. Mokuba? You know how they say a little light flashes on in your head; well, mine was the radiant light of a lighthouse up close and personal. "Mokuba? What are you doing in my house?"

"I think the better question is," Mokuba answered, trying not to smile. "What are you during in my brother's bed?"

BED? I jumped out of Seto's bed, getting twisted in the sheets hanging from my side and falling on my face. Déjà vu. "This didn't happen," I said, looking up at Mokuba. He tried to look concerned but I could tell he fought off a smirk; know-nothing-know-it-all. "It's not what you think."

"I'm not thinking it's anything, Jou," Mokuba replied sweetly; a little too sweetly. That suppressed smirk was putting up a good fight. "Maybe you should just go; I'll tell Seto you said bye."

"Yeah, whatever," I replied, pulling myself from out the sheets. After making sure I didn't leave anything, I calmly walked out of Seto's study and down the steps. Once I was sure Mokuba couldn't see me, I ran off like a bat out of Hell.

-x-

SETO

I could faintly hear my CD player in my sleep, still song #2. I really have to do something about my CD player. I rolled over; maybe I could fall asleep again. But isn't Jou still here? He might not be awake yet, and for those precious moments before he does, he'll be mine. I twisted out from beneath my sheets a bit and slowly opened my eyes to look at Jou.

"Hi, big brother."

"Mokuba!" I sounded surprised; too surprised, he'd notice. I sat up, trying to regain my composure. "Mokuba, what are you doing in here?"

"Expecting someone else, big brother?" Mokuba said sweetly; a little too sweetly. "Jou left a while a go, you were still asleep." Mokuba reached over me and got my CD player remote, turning the sound off. "Do I want to know about this?"

"There's nothing to know about," I answered, trying to be honest. I got out of bed and changed into sleepwear, my navy blue boxers. Mokuba was sprawled over my bed like a dead body when I came back. "Can I help you?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Mokuba replied, moving over so I could sit on my bed. "You've been… distracted for quite a while, Seto. I think you're suffering from sexual frustration."

"What!" Is this my little brother talking? "Mokuba, what are you…"

"I'm taking psych. in school, Seto," Mokuba replied mater-of-factly. "I know what I'm talking about. Seto, did you know that most boys your age either have a girlfriend and have sex on a regular basis or pick up girls at clubs? Some even have to mastur –"

"Who's teaching this class you're taking?" I interrupted, not liking where this was going.

"That doesn't matter," Mokuba parried. "This is about you, remember? Let's face it, you don't have too many friends and you'd be a recluse if you had your way. I'm going to start giving you lessons."

"Lessons on what?" This conversation is getting weirder by the second.

"On how to be friendly," Mokuba smiled. "Class starts tomorrow." He hugged me and headed to the door.

I just sat there confused for a second when I had the impulse to look at my watch. "Mokuba, it's 11:55…"

"See you in the morning, Seto!"

He was already gone. I lied on my bed, staring up at my ceiling. Maybe Mokuba's right; I need to at least try to be friendly, or I could just act like I'm trying, same difference. I rolled over and turned my music back on, trying to drift back to sleep. Who could I try to be friends with… probably Yuugi and his little clan. I closed my eyes as I pictured them and stopped on him.

-Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die hereThere must be something more
Bring me to life-

Maybe I could really try to be Jou's friend. Maybe his friend and more.