Akuma's Diary- 3rd Entry

288th day of the 389th year R.S. disappeared


Apparently I misjudged Hidan. Not only is he a loudmouthed idiot, he's also nice, well when he wants to be. Not all the time but every now and then. He got me to talk the other day. I didn't realize how much I missed talking until that point. I've never gone this long without talking to anyone. Even if my siblings don't come around often I do wander into a human village every now and then (of course with a genjutsu over me) just to get some form of acknowledgement. In a way I'm grateful to that sonofabitch.

Though, the conversation wasn't one I usually had with anyone.


I shifted as my stomach grumbled. I'd been staring at the ceiling of the large cavern Nagato had me trapped in since I'd woken up hours ago. Doing nothing but feeling the extra chakra that was building in my body. If I didn't expel it soon it would continue to build until it burned my insides. But these fucking seals were getting in my way to freedom. I missed running under the full moon. My muscles involuntarily twitched as I imagined the wind, the earth, and the light shining as I darted through the forest, desert, or mountains.

My stomach grumbled again. I ignored it since hunger was the last thing on my mind right now. I was too busy wondering how I could get out of this place. This place was going to drive me insane.

A sharp scraping sound made my eyes dart to the side as a familiar smell hit me.

"Are you hungry?" Hidan asked looking annoyed as he indicated the plate full of meat that he'd pushed through the shield. (I couldn't touch it or put any part of my body through the light blue shield but they could throw or push things in here.) I slowly got up staring at the plate before looking at Hidan.

I shook my head before looking away.

"You've got to fucking eat something. I can hear your stomach bitch." I glared at him for the term. He smirked. "Did I say something wrong bitch?"

"Fuck you." I snapped. His smirk widened. "Bitches are dogs."

"Alright little pussy." I growled at him.

"Asshole." I muttered looking at the food longingly before moving away from it. They could have poisoned it, not that it would do much besides make me sick but I'd rather go without vomiting.

"It's not poisoned." He said guessing my glare. I just looked at him with a deadpanned expression. "Or would you prefer fish?"

"Why are you feeding me?" Nagato wouldn't know that I ate only once a month, right? The Bijuu didn't eat so why should I? (It was a very bad habit I'd gotten into once I tasted human food.)

"Your fucking stomach is getting on my nerves. It's making it hard to think." He answered.

"You can think?" I asked. He glared at me.

"If you don't want it then just leave it pussy cat."

"Fine." I shrugged before curling up and facing the other direction. The smell was still there and it smelt so good.

I lasted five minutes before I uncurled from my ball and grabbed the BBQ ribs. I had hardly been done with one rib when my hand was reaching for another, and then another, and another.

When I was done I sat back and licked my fingers and lips.

"Damn, that was faster than I thought possible." I hissed at Hidan before looking at the plate.

"Why did you feed me?" I asked seriously. "I know you fuckers bring your own lunch while guarding me but why feed me? I'm a demon." Don't you hate demons? I left that unsaid as I watched him closely. He snorted before reaching in for the plate. I thought about going for his arm, but decided not to since he'd fed me. I could be civilized when I wanted to.

"You're fucking stuck in there pussy cat." Hidan said.

"No shit Sherlock." I muttered glaring at the five main seals around me. I only had enough room to stand and lie down.

"Just because I'm a fucking S-rank ninja doesn't mean I'm not a cold-blooded shark." I snorted at that. He continued, "No one should be forced into a cage." I glanced at him. It sounded like he knew more about that then he let on. What was he a closeted freedom fighter?

"That's not the ideal you use when you extract the Bijuu." I said harshly. He shrugged.

"That's the shithead, Leader-sama's thing. Honestly I think the world is fucking better off without them."

"And you're here for what?" I asked. "The free reputation?" He glared.

"I didn't have a choice of joining." He caught himself as I tilted my head. He looked a little surprised that he even said that. Well a cat has to be able to worm some things out of people. How do you think those T&I get their creative techniques? He smirked before shaking his head.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly wanting to know.

"Forget it." He turned away. "Just fucking go back to whatever you were doing pussy cat."

"My name is Akuma dipshit." I snarled. He just waved his hand tiredly. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he kept watch but we didn't talk again.


Hidan's words made me think about this whole thing. Did one have to be challenged to join this little club? Were the losers brought here if they put up a good enough fight? Or were the losers killed? What about the winners?

The thoughts of Akatsuki were confusing. I didn't know much about humans, well not these particular humans, to give a clear judge. Although, it was no wonder there weren't more than the eight plus Tobi that I'd seen.

My chakra keeps building every hour. I'm usually very good at keeping these rises in but my limit is one month. Any more and that and I am afraid that I'll explode. It's making it hard to keep a good control over myself. I'm pretty sure that I angered Kakuzu with my last spectacle. I needed to find a good outlet. I was hoping that by angering Kakuzu he would be stupid and let me out but he isn't crazy. My brain cells must be dying if I thought it could work for a second.


"I wish that we, were all TV, just like a Pokemon,

You'd be a Pika Girl in the Poke world

Yes life would be so fun

I'd be a trader boy, and I would make a choice

To go and search for you

I'd throw my Poke ball, and I would catch them all

You'd be my Pikachu!"

"Do you have to sing that?" Kakuzu growled. I looked at him seriously.

"You aren't talking so I'd rather pass the time while hearing something. And if it be my own horrible voice then so be it."

"Can you sing something else?" Kakuzu asked irritably. "Something better?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have any suggestions Stitches?" He didn't say anything but he did glare so well that I'd pretty sure Yurara would've been proud. "Fine."

"I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy,

Just like all my thoughts, they always get a bit naughty.

When I'm out, with my girls, I always play a bit bitchy.

Can't change the way I am

Sexy, naughty, bitchy me!

I'm the kind of girls that girls don't like

I'm the kind that boys fantasize."

"Enough!" Kakuzu snapped.

"Well if you would let me finish a song then maybe you'd be able to judge it right. You just cut me off when I was only a few lines in." I protested. Kakuzu glared at me.

"Shut up; go back to your silence."

"No." I dared. Kakuzu and I glared at each other until he rolled his eyes and went back to his counting. Not that I was a master at math or anything. One more song ought to do it though. I thought as I watched Kakuzu.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,

I'm an angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun

Angel with a shotgun, shotgun, shotgun

Get out your guns, battles begun

Are you a single singer?

If love's a fight, then I shall die

With my heart on a trigger

They say before you start a war

You better know what you're fighting for!"

"ENOUGH!" Kakuzu shouted. I watched as he got up, gathered his stuff and left. I smirked before continuing to sing the rest of the song loud enough that it followed him through the halls.

Ironically I don't even know where those songs sprang up from. But I did write them down in here so I should probably have something to work on while I'm in here. Of course since I got rid of Kakuzu, I marked it down.

In all honesty that was probably the most fun I'd had here.

I find it a bit ironic that out of all the Five Nations, Nagato of Amegakure would be the first person to bring all the villages together. He had a ninja from everywhere and had them working in sync. Of course from what Hidan let slip, he probably had to threaten them but still, you can see my point here can't you? It was possible for the Villages to work together.

… Wait, I can feel chakra… Here comes Tobi.


GM NASAI: Review?