Chapter 3

On the Road to Viridian City

Jack: Well, here I am. Route 1. Nothing but Rattata's and Pidgey's aplenty.
Barry: Bulba. Bulbasaur.
Jack: Not to mention my stupid new pet.
Barry: Bulba...
Jack:...Hey. There's something in this grass.
(A Pidgey attacks them)
Jack: A Pidgey! Alright Barry. Let's see if you can redeem yourself.
Barry: Bulbasaur!

(Vs Wild Pidgey)
Jack: Barry! Use Tackle!
(Barry tackles Pidgey. Pidgey flies around and does Peck)
Barry: Bulbasaur...
Jack: Oooh. That looks like it hurt!
Barry: Bulba. Bulba, bulba saur saur, bulba
Jack: Tackle it again!
(Barry tackles Pidgey. Pidgey flies around and pecks at Barry's bulb)
Jack: Oh. If you won't play by the rules, then neither will I! Barry. Stand still!
Barry: Bulba?
Jack: Just do it!
(Pidgey flies towards Barry, who stands still)
Jack: Wait for it...
Barry: Bulba...
(Pidgey flies at Barry, who gets nervous and jumps out of the way at he last second. Pidgey flies smack-bang into a tree)
Jack: Yes! Now Tackle it until you draw blood!
(Barry tackled Pidgey until Pidgey fainted)
Jack: Excellent. The plan was to use Barry as live fodder for Pidgey. Then Pidgey would attack Barry. Barry's natural cowardice and loyalty would make him hold til the last second. Then Pidgey would fly into the tree and become vulnerable!
?????: Great summation young man.
Jack: huh?

(Route 1)
Man: For an amateur, you commanded that Bulbasaur like a Pokémon Master.
Jack: It comes from video games mostly. But I did fine, even if I do say so myself.
Man: You're deserving of this!
(gives Jack a Potion)
Jack: What is this?
Man: It's a Potion. You can use it to heal your Bulbasaur.
Jack: Why would I want to? I hate the little bastard.
Man: Well, I guess you can keep it for someone more deserving.
Jack: And you're giving me this for free? What's the catch? Nothing's free, pal.
Man: There is one catch. I simply want you to wear this Pin.
(He gives Jack a pin reading 'Pokémon Mart')
Jack: Why?
Man: It's advertising. I work at the Poke-Mart. We make shoppers wear these in exchange for 1 free gift.
Jack: Free gift, eh?
Man: You already got yours. That Potion...
Jack: Was given to me out of your common decency to heal my Bulbasaur. I'm still indebted 1 free gift.
Man: Okay. And it won't be anything like the Potion.
Jack: Deal.
Man: Just present that Pin at the Poke-Mart to get your gift. It also gets you a store discount.
Jack: Great. I'll be seeing you. Come along Barry.
Barry: Bulbasaur
Man: Hehehe. Sucker.

(Near Viridian City)
Jack: Hmm. Nearly there. Just past this groan last patch of grass.
(As Jack strolls through the grass, he meets a boy)
Boy: hey. You wanna do something extreme?
Jack: If it's about gay fellatio then I've already been there.
Boy: No. If you jump off that ledge, you can get back quicker.
Jack: Rriiigghht. And that's supposed to be extreme?
Boy: Yeah. Real high-risk. Extreme to the max.
Jack: Get a life nerd-linger. The highest risk I can see, is I have to walk all the way back through the grass.
Boy: No. I'll show you. (jumps off the ledge) See? That was totally thrilling!
Jack: Listen... I'm going. You are the biggest waste of my life except for me. Because God hates me! I was an accident. I was never wanted. My LIFE HAS NO MEANING!
(Jack leaves, Barry trotting at his heels)
Boy...Godfing emo!... I'm so lonely.