An Aquatransexual's Best Friend
~Noy Telinú~
Warning: the following is fan fiction. If you haven't figured that out by now, Noy needs to sue YOU!
Caution: Ranma ½ was made by Rumiko Takahashi and its anime is licensed by Viz media in North America. It contains everything that you can think of, in short, AWESOME!
You have been warned…
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Chapter 2: School Sucks
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
It was the next morning, birds were chirping, Kasumi was humming, and Akane was jogging around the neighborhood. Everything was how it normally was. There was nothing unusual for this day; everything was the same, exactly the same. Even with the 3 new guests everything was exactly the same. Well, until Genma woke up…
A quick splash into a pond of Koi, and things went to hell faster than a serial killer on Halloween. Ranma was thrown into it by his/her father (who was now human) before Ranma woke up. It wasn't the changing that bothered Ranma, for she was a she that night, no, it was the being thrown into the water to start the day that sucked. Ukyo, who was still a dog dashed off to find hot water while a redhead and a bald man faced each other anger coming out of both.
"What you do THAT for?" was all Ranma sputtered, obviously upset about the whole thing.
"Just because we have a roof over our heads doesn't mean we stop training BOY!" Genma replied angrily
"You're on old man!"
A sparring match began, neither one overpowering the other. Ukyo joined in after become human again and it ended up a 2-1 fight. Genma to his credit held up pretty good for being outnumbered. It was 5 minutes into the sparring session when Akane came back from her jog and reached the front gates of the Tendo home. She did not expect to see a fight of that magnitude. After the initial shock wore off she came into the house.
"What is it with that family anyway?" Akane asked to herself.
"Ranma, Ukyo, Mr. Saotome, let's eat breakfast now, shall we?" Kasumi said in her ever present calm manner.
"Alright, that's enough break for breakf-" Genma announced to his two "girls."
Ranma cut off Genma's words by kicking Genma up and Ukyo using the giant spatula to hit the overweight martial artist right down into the pond.
"You lose again pops!" Ranma gloated.
"Beaten by 2 girls? You're losing your touch panda!" Ukyo added.
"Hey I'm not a girl!" Ranma protested, unknowingly causing her breasts to sway wildly.
"You are right now, sugar." Ukyo pointed to the redhead's chest.
Ranma knew how to answer this, she got the bucket which had old pond water and threw it at Ukyo who didn't see it coming. A dog was now mad at a certain redhead…
"At least I'm still human, Ucchan." Ranma stuck her tongue out.
Ukyo barked angrily and jumped Ranma. Let the fighting continue!
Akane stood dumbfounded on the porch.
"Oh my, I guess Mr. Saotome needs something different for breakfast." Kasumi said pulling out a huge plate of bamboo.
After a bit of hot water for the three Jusenkyo victims, all seven people ate their breakfast. Afterword things got a little hairy, especially when Ranma found out about a certain thing that they were going to do that day.
"School? No way Pops! I'm not doing it! Who died and made you boss anyway?" A red Chinese sleeveless shirt wearing Ranma questioned.
"Boy, we are going to be staying a while and you two are going to go to school. Besides, you have to look after your fiancée, it's a martial artist's duty" Genma stated before a kick and a splashed made the Tendo residence home for an endangered animal.
"You two are going to the same school as Akane and me… see ya!" Nabiki said while in a blue school uniform running off.
"Hey Nabiki, wait up!" Akane called out to her sister, as she came out into the hallway where Ranma and Ukyo were at.
"No way, you show them to school. He's your fiancé after all!" Nabiki shouted from far away.
"Come on Ran-chan it's not that bad." Ukyo tried to reassure Ranma. "So could you lead the way Akane? We don't want to be late."
"Hey, maybe I'm not ready to go to school." Ranma tried to stop them.
Ukyo just threw Ranma a schoolbag and pulled him, following Akane.
Well, at least a bamboo eating panda and a mustached father liked how the day was going.
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The three students were walking to school, with Ranma not caring, Ukyo reluctant, and Akane not wanting to be late. It was a normal scene… well… except for the fact that 2/3 of them were walking on the fence next to the canal instead of on the sidewalk.
"What are you two doing?" Akane demanded.
"Hey, walking on the fence is better, plus it is great balance practice." Ranma answered.
"Ran-chan's right Akane, besides who knows what could happen on the sidewalk?"
"You're probably just jealous that I can do it and you can't." Ranma teased.
Then, out of nowhere Genma came and hit Ranma on the head.
"What you do that for Pops?"
"Boy, you be nice to your fiancée for I…" Genma was cut off as Ukyo smacked him into the canal.
"What was that?" Ranma teased. "I can't understand panda!"
Genma splashed around in the water, trying to hit Ranma but failed. Ranma then jumped off the fence onto the sidewalk.
"Ha! Missed me pops!"
Because Ranma is a water magnet, he was splashed right after saying those words by whom else, an old woman with a bucket and a ladle.
"You just had to tempt fate, Ran-chan." Ukyo sighed.
Akane giggled a little at Ranma's frustrated face.
"I know a place to get hot water." Akane said leading the two to Dr Tofu's office.
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Later at Dr. Tofu's office, Ranma was waiting inside a room while Akane went to get hot water. Ukyo was waiting outside the building watching for old ladies. Ranma was staring into space when a skeleton hand was placed on her shoulder. (Cue psycho music) Ranma freaked out and jumped onto the door, hanging onto it. The skeleton hand was part of a whole skeleton and after a bit, a man with glasses and a ponytail started laughing. Ukyo, who heard Ranma scream, went inside only to see her hanging on a door, her fingers caught on the doorframe of the closed door.
"Ran-chan, what am I going to do with you?" Ukyo sighed, opening the door so Ranma's hands can be freed.
The door finally opened again and Ranma was able to get down from the door, fingers throbbing.
"Someone sneaked up on me!" Ranma whispered to Ukyo while trying to fix her fingers. "That doctor is a martial artist. I didn't even hear him coming."
"Eh, it happens to the best of us." Ukyo responded, shrugging.
The two then saw Akane and the doctor talking. Akane looked as if she had an obvious crush on the much older Dr. Tofu. Ranma and Ukyo exchanged smiles as they saw what was happening. 'This is gonna be fun.' Thought Ukyo.
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After a while, the three students went back to walking to school with everyone back to 'normal'. Ranma and Ukyo were back on the fence and Akane was walking on the sidewalk. After a few quick words with Ukyo, it was decided not to bring up Akane's assumed crush with the doctor… yet. However, the stop cost the three precious time and they had to run in order to make it to school on time. Before they got there, Akane needed to remind Ranma of one important thing.
"Remember, we don't know each other, alright?"
"Fine by me, but, why again?" Ranma asked, running on the wall in front of Ukyo.
"Yeah Akane, why can't you two know each other? Was it something about being a lesbian?"
"Honestly, you guys have the worst memory that I know!" a running, irritated Akane shot back. "Let's just say that me being with a boy will just bring trouble!"
"So you are a lesbian!" Ukyo teased. "No wonder your sisters decided that you should marry Ran-chan, they must be really concerned about your sexuality." (This was just too fun, no wonder Ranma does it.)
Akane was really irritated now. Just because she turned down every boy while being the most popular girl in school didn't mean she was a lesbian! Besides, even if she was, with what was going to happen today, just like every day this semester, wouldn't make her like boys all that much.
"Just stay away from me at school, ok?" Akane answered "…and I am not a lesbian!"
"Just keep telling yourself that Akane." Ranma continued. "Especially since you won't even let a guy be your friend. When you thought I was a girl, you were all friendly. But when you found out I was a boy, you tried to kill me!"
"Ran-chan, take it as a compliment. I don't think that anyone you met didn't want to kill you."
"You wanted to kill me Ucchan?"
"Twice…. I got over it seeing how careless you are with words. That and…you know…"
"Ucchan…"
"I know, I know, I know…" Ukyo sighed. "I've accepted it long ago, but it still pained me when I found out Pops engaged you."
"Ukyo, you had a crush on Ranma?"
"You make it sound like a bad thing." Ukyo responded. "Besides, I had it before I left to travel with Ran-chan, why would being with him ten years make me not have it?"
"Well, he sees you as a sister…."
Ranma interrupted "That is only how I see it, Akane."
Ranma stopped when he, Akane and Ukyo saw something in the distance. Upon seeing it, Ranma and Ukyo slowed down while Akane sped up shouting "I really hate boys!" Once that was said, the clock struck 8:30. The sight before them was practically every boy in school that were in sports with various sports equipment all charging at Akane. Each one was shouting various versions of "I love you Akane!" and "Would you date with me, Akane?" This caused the two who were new to the school to stop running while Akane got into battle mode.
Boys left and right attacked Akane, each proclaiming their love to her. None of them landed anything on her as Akane showed off her martial arts skills by punching and kicking through the horde. Things looked grim however, as a group closed in on her punches, coming from every angle making escape look impossible. Just as the group closed in on her and almost dog piled her, Akane latched out in a series of punches and kicks with speed that were just way too fast for any of the attackers to counter. Akane spat out everyone out of her vicinity like a tornado, as the bone crunching and face smashing continued. Even Ranma and Ukyo were in awe of the skills displayed in defeating wave after wave of horny boys. One boxer landed in front of Ranma with an arm bent backwards and a face full of blood, missing a couple of teeth. Bending down, Ranma took a closer look at him and saw how beat up he was. Ukyo was the first to shake herself out of the shock and looked around at the piles of bodies that surrounded the front of the school.
"Well, that explains a lot…" was what she stated, obviously to everyone… except…
"Huh, what do you mean Ucchan?" yep… him.
"Ran-chan, she obviously has been doing this for a while. I mean it would explain the reason why she has a problem with boys, and she acted like this was coming. Great, now I feel bad for her."
"What do you mean, sure it's annoying but it's not impossible to defeat these guys… there's just a lot of them, that's all"
"Think about having every boy in school hitting on you and figuring out the best way to show their affections was by attacking you? Who knows how long this has been going on?"
Ranma shivered at the thought of boys drooling over his female form. Good thing he decided to get that hot water, with boys this horny, he would hope that they would never find out about his girl side. But, if they were all to attack him, it wouldn't be that bad, after all, even Akane iwas whooping them.
Another boy was sent flying towards Ranma so that he had to duck as the poor guy was implanted into a wall.
Alright, Akane isn't that bad. Actually, she would be the best at the school, and probably is, until Ranma came in today.
Akane flipped a boy who was behind her and threw the guy into a tree.
Ok, Akane's really good compared to almost anyone that he's seen.
Akane used a flying kick to launch another boy over the wall. When she landed, she spun and knocked boys in all directions yet somehow not hurting anyone too bad. One boy grabbed her, but he was hit into next Tuesday.
Yeah, she hits really hard too. Ranma rubbed his head a bit.
Nabiki and two other girls were watching from the 2nd story window, along with pretty much everyone else.
"Hey you two, stop your gawking, or you'll be late for class." Nabiki shouted down to the two new students.
"But, what about Akane? We can't just leave her out here by herself." Ukyo countered.
Another boy went flying.
"Don't worry about it!" Nabiki responded. "This happens every morning!"
Both of them were shocked. Ukyo figured this happened at least more than once, but, every day? Yep, Akane does have serious boy issues.
The duo started to walk in towards school and got to Akane who finished the last one off.
"Honestly," Akane said, sweating. "you think they'd learn by now."
"Well sugar, I'm impressed, but really, every morning? Are people this stupid here?" Ukyo congratulated her.
As if to answer her question, a rose flew out from behind a tree heading for Akane, who swiftly caught it with a frown that was ever present on her face. A tall boy with a boken in his hand came out from behind said tree. The taller boy started speaking…
"An earthlier unhappy is a rose distilled, that thun withering on the virgin thorn grows, lives, and dies in single blessings….. These... weaklings, a boorish lot for sure….. They fought for your company Akane, if they managed to defeat you that is. What fools these mortals be?"
Dark clouds began coming in.
Akane answered "Kuno, I'm late." as she tried to get around, only to be stopped by him.
"Why you must go before you face me, Akane Tendo?" the tall boy, Kuno, implied.
"Ucchan's right, you are very popular around here." Ranma spewed out.
"Who are you and what is your business with Akane?" Kuno demanded, pointing his boken at Ranma.
"Uh…" was all Ranma got out before Kuno spoke again…
"Wait! Isn't it customary to give one's own name first? I am Takewaki Kuno, undefeated kendo champion, " lightning struck in the background. "Blue thunder of Furinkan High!"
Up the two stories, Nabiki and her classmates pondered over the announcement.
"Blue thunder?" was Nabiki's question to her classmates "Did any of you know this?"
"First I heard of it." said a girl.
Ukyo blinked a few times before shaking herself out.
"Blue thunder? What kind of stupid name is that?" Ukyo really wanted to know who this guy was and why he was speaking poetically.
If Kuno took offense to that, he never showed it. "I never seen such likes of you before? I knoweth of every girl in this school. Who might you be? Be warned though, those who have affections for me, I cannot abide to. For my heart belongs to another."
Ukyo was not going to get into this. "I'm Ukyo, he's my brother Ranma, we are currently living with the Tendo's, and we're leaving now, bye!" Ukyo dragged a confused Ranma inside while looking up at the sky, dreading the rain clouds.
"Wait… living under the same roof as Akane?" Takewaki Kuno questioned the retreating pair, not noticing Akane knocking him out from behind.
"Hey! Wait up!" Akane called out as the three headed for class, just getting inside before it rained.
The rain soaked the wannabe samurai while he lay on the ground, a huge bump on the back of his head.
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"Class, these are our new students, Ranma and Ukyo Saotome, they just came back from a trip to China so let's give them a nihao welcome." The teacher introduced the pair if front of the class.
"Now, I have something to show you." Ukyo said while whipping out a portable grill. "I'm the greatest Okonomiyaki chef in the world!" she then proceeded to make some for the teacher.
"This is really good. There are seats behind Akane, you can sit there." The teacher really liked this.
Ranma and Ukyo sat down as the boring class started.
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Nabiki was in her own class, thinking about what had happened the day before. Things were going to get weird, that's for sure. Kuno was now in the room, and a decision had to be made. Tell Kuno about Ranma being engaged to Akane, or to not say anything about it. Although there was a third option that was at the back of her mind that wanted her to get Kuno to give her money for the information, but it was only a minority.
"Nabiki Tendo, I ask for confirmation. Whoeth is that man who knoweth Akane Tendo? He and his sister with the Spatula?"
Nabiki thought about what to say, and after a second of moral debate, she shrugged and told him what he wanted to know.
"They are the Saotomes. Brother and sister who are living with us for now. Ranma is engaged to Akane."
"What! I cannot let this be!" Kuno shouted to the heavens.
An eraser pelted him on the head.
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Ranma was getting bored, looking around, not caring. Akane wasn't paying attention either, although she looked to be paying attention. Ukyo was half interested, but Ranma could tell that it was hard to just sit there.
'Only if something would happen… it's been two hours already…' Ranma thought, staring out into space.
"Never!" Kuno exclaimed, charging into the room. "Where is he! That fiend! I shall not allow it!"
"Kuno, what do you want?" an irritated Akane asked.
"Mr. Kuno, you can't charge into a class. Please leave now. Class is in session."
Kuno instead attacked Ranma, causing him to leap off of the desk as Kuno split it in half. Ranma continued to dodge away until he was at the door.
"Kuno! Fine I accept your challenge, but not here. Follow me." Ranma ran out the door.
"That I shall!" Kuno followed.
"Ran-chan you jackass!" Ukyo leapt to follow.
"Honestly!" Akane followed.
"He's going to fight Kuno!" the class yelled as they all joined in the chase.
"Why do I even bother?" the teacher asked himself.
Ranma meanwhile was running down the hall. 'I get to fight this guy now, but, which way is the exit? Eh, might as well jump out the window, I'm sure he can take it.'
"Hey, here's a shortcut." Ranma called out, jumping out the window.
"I shall follow." Kuno leapt.
"But this is the third floor!" Akane yelled as the students ran up to the window.
"Don't worry, I- Uh oh." Ranma looked down and saw the swimming pool approaching. "Why did it have to be water?"
*Splash, Splash*
"That was stupid." Ukyo commented, forehead red. "Ran-chan, you owe me." Ukyo then threw flour bombs on the ground, causing the pool to be obscured.
Down below, Ranma was trying to find a way to stay out of reach of Kuno. 'Stupid thing, must get away. Why is he mad at me anyway?'
"Sa*glurg*otome!" Kuno gulped as he was trying to grab Ranma.
Ranma, however, didn't try to swim away to end up being molested and screwed up in life. No, she booted him up right away, then leap after him.
Unfortunately for the students upstairs, they couldn't see a thing due to the flour everywhere.
Kuno was now looking for Ranma, who was in a tree, drying her pants. "Stupid pool, if only it wasn't there, then I could have a good fight." She mumbled to herself.
"Ran-chan, Ran-chan, Ran-chan; why do you have to mess up and get into a fight everywhere we go?" Ukyo teased, in a tree across from her, holding a kettle.
"Ucchan! Thanks buddy, I…"
"Not so fast Ran-chan. I bombed the floor so they wouldn't see you, you owe me."
"Oh, come on Ucchan! You know I won't give you what you want!" Ranma rebutted.
"Why not! It's not like its bad or anything." Ukyo then mumbled. "It's not like we're blood related or anything."
"Look, I told you time and time again, I won't date my sister!"
Ukyo sighed. "Fine, but when I get enough money for a restaurant to open, you are working more."
"Hey, as long as I get Okanomiyaki, I'll work there as much as you want. Now, hot water, please?"
"Take it; I want to see my brother right now anyway." Ukyo smirked as she tossed the kettle, only to have it be knocked down from above by a flying kendoist.
"Ah, Ukyo, why arrest you here? Do you know where that fiend, your brother is hiding? He is no man! No man at all! Running away from a fight!" Kuno sputtered into gibberish.
Ranma was fuming right then.
Before she could do anything, Akane came into the area and saw that there was something wrong.
First, Ranma was a girl. Second, she was fuming with no pants on. Third, the kettle was busted. And Four, Ukyo looked like she wanted to kill Kuno as well.
"What do you have against him, jackass?" Ukyo yelled at the idiot.
"First he lives with Akane! Then he is engaged to her? Never! I won't allow it! To then ditched me oneth in a duel? He is no man!" Kuno asked for it.
Ranma couldn't take it anymore. While Akane was denying the engagement, Ukyo was twitching her eye; Ranma jumped off the tree, still pant less, and spoke to Kuno.
"No man? No man? I'll show you!" Ranma cracked her knuckles.
Kuno turned around to see a beauty, a red haired, pigtailed girl who challenged him, the great Takewaki Kuno, Blue thunder of Furinkan High.
"Very well, I accept your-" Kuno was cut off with Ranma jumping on his boken and kicking him in the head.
"Just shut up!" Ranma responded, getting into a ready stance as Kuno got back up.
"Formidable! I shall do better than." Kuno then attacked her, slightly better than what Akane had to face on a regular basis.
Ranma jumped out of the way as a tree was split, unfortunately giving the recovered students a view of Ranma facing off against Kuno.
"Hey! Look at that!" a boy by the name of Daisuke called out. "Kuno's fighting someone!"
Everyone was now watching the fight, trying to figure out who was that person with the red hair.
While Ranma was fighting Kuno, Ukyo was trying to see if there was any hot water left in the busted kettle.
That had nothing on what Akane was doing, mainly standing there, eye twitching as Ranma pummeled Kuno while showing off her athleticism, more than once allowing Akane to see how much Ranma isn't wearing. Mainly, that Ranma's pants were still in a tree. Worse, she was the only one who noticed that the students upstairs were watching.
"Ra- err, argg, put your pants on!" Akane shouted at Ranma. "The students upstairs can see you!"
Ranma decided to end it right there and as the sword came back down, leapt back on it. Then, using her toes, grabbed the boken with one foot while the other kicked Kuno away.
Ranma then launched the weapon at him, it went through his clothes and stuck him into a tree. 'He doesn't realize I'm Ranma. Although, why is he mad at me?'
"Kuno, Ranma Saotome is even better than me. Akane, why are you twitching?" Ranma asked.
That's when her pants hit her in the face.
"Ran-chan, put your pants on would ya? You didn't hear that there are people watching, did you?" Ukyo sighed.
That's when Ranma turned to see a bunch of students on the third floor, watching. Ranma took that cue to put on her pants, and then went further into the mini forest next to the school.
"Honestly. Ranma, you don't listen, do you?" Akane asked as Ranma had enough water in the busted kettle to change himself back.
"Hey, I was fighting, ok? Thanks for the hot water you two. Um… are they still trying to see anything?" Ranma asked, drying his hair.
"This is where you hide! I shall never allow it!" Kuno said as he appeared before them.
'Whoopps, forgot to knock him out.' "So you want to fight then? Wait, why do you hate me? I just met you!" Ranma shouted.
"I shall never accept your engagement to Akane Tendo! It will not happen!" Kuno spewed.
"Wait I didn't!" Ranma tried saying.
"It was our parents' idea!" Akane tried saying.
"Silence! I attack!" Kuno launched himself at Ranma, angry, furious at what has happened.
"Whoa!" Ranma dodged as Kuno lashed out faster than before, cutting down trees as he did so.
A blow came down, splitting a tree down the middle. Ranma kicked Kuno in the back of the head, sending him flying.
"What's with him?" Ranma questioned.
He got his answer when Kuno launched back, causing Ranma to jump backwards, towards the open area by the pool.
As the fighting escalated, more people came to watch.
"Hey, isn't that Saotome?" Someone asked on the third floor.
"Yeah, it is! He's finally fighting Kuno!" Exclaimed another. As Ranma dodged around the pool, Ukyo and Akane were looking irritated.
"Does this happen often with him?" Akane asked.
"He gets into fights everywhere; although, Ranma is entertaining to watch when he isn't doing something stupid." Ukyo responded. "Who told him about that engagement anyway?"
"Only you and I know… Nabiki!" Akane said, frustrated.
"Nabiki told him? Why?"
"I don't know! I'm giving her a piece of my mind when I get home!"
Ranma was now away from the pool, near a statue. "Alright Kuno, who told you!"
"It not matter! For I shall defeat you!" Kuno lashed out even faster, causing Ranma to jump around.
"I'm getting sick of this." Ranma leapt onto the statue and rebounded into the air. Kuno launched out while Ranma got his fingers ready and tapped Kuno's forehead.
Kuno missed him barely and Ranma came behind him and swept his leg up before launching him upstairs.
A few students were running, trying to get a better view, when suddenly…
*crash* a window broke, and in flew Kuno.
Kuno was out cold, twelve foot marks on different parts of his backside.
"Wow! He beat up Kuno!" Someone exclaimed.
"He never let's any guy beat him!" Someone else pointed out.
"That Ranma sure is something to do this!"
Down below, Akane and Ukyo met up with Ranma.
"Great way to start school, huh?" Ukyo asked, offhand as she approached Ranma.
"Hey, he attacked me! Besides, what else could I do? I don't know why Akane would tell him about it if she wanted to not show that she knows me though." Ranma pondered.
"Who makes you think I told him!" Akane yelled.
"Well I didn't do it! Who else could it be?" Ranma reputed.
"Nabiki! Although why she would do this is another thing." Akane responded.
"It's going to be crazy going back to class now if it spread already." Ukyo acknowledged. "Let's get it o-" She was cut off when a bucket of water fell down from above, splashing her with water before hitting Ranma in the face, spilling the rest on him… err… her.
"Sorry down there!" Someone yelled from above. "It slipped!"
Ranma sighed. "Let's go back to the Dojo… This won't work now.
Akane nodded while Ukyo barked.
The two girls and the dog walked back to the Dojo, skipping out on the rest of school.
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A while later, down the streets of Nerima, the three were talking, well, talking and barking, but, you know.
"Woof!"
"I told you I don't want ta! I didn't agree to this, remember." Ranma spoke to Ukyo.
"Bark, woof!"
"That doesn't mean I'll date you! This changes nothing!" Ranma had veins pulsing out of her head.
"Ranma? How did you learn to speak dog?" Akane asked as they walked along.
"I don't, it's just that I know what she's saying."
"That's what I mean!"
"Oh, um… when you end up like this, you just know what things mean, it's in the way they say things, you know?"
"That doesn't make sense…"
"It's her body language, right Ucchan?"
"Growllell"
"Yeah, that helped too." Ranma nodded.
"Bark!"
"I thought we weren't supposed to remind ourselves about that!" Ranma threw her arms into the air.
"Yapp bark!"
"You are the one who named it anyway! It was your idea! Don't mention the thing with the ship and the mouse!" Ranma exclaimed.
"What thing?"
"There was no thing! I didn't do it!"
"That sounds like you did it to me."
"Ucchan did it!"
"Bark!"
"Oh you know you did! Stop lying!" Ranma accused Ukyo.
"Ark bark arff!"
"That doesn't count!" Ranma crossed her arms over her chest.
"Ranma?" Akane asked, hand to her chin.
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you go on a date with Ukyo?"
"She's my sister! Remember!" Ranma threw her arms up into the air.
"Only adopted… she wants you to."
"I just don't feel that way towards her, ok?"
"Bark, yarp, arff!"
"How can that work?"
"Aff ark"
"Nuh uh, no, nah, no… no." Ranma shook her head.
"Bark!"
"Not that either!"
"arff?"
"I don't know…"
"Bark"
"Ucchan…"
"Whine, whine…" She gave her puppy dog eyes.
"Ok, you win! I hate it when you do that."
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Hey look we're here!" Ranma ran off.
"Hey!" Akane yelled out as she was left alone.
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"Ucchan… why do you keep trying to date me?" Ranma asked, facing away from her, male once more.
"Ran-chan, I said it time and tine again, I love you."
"But, you know that I won't, why do you keep trying?"
"I… I am hoping you'll change your mind."
"You know that won't happen. Besides, you haven't said something like this for almost six months, what's different?"
"Well, I, since yesterday… it… I… err." *sigh* "Ran-chan, my wound opened up again when the things happened yesterday…"
"Oh."
"It hurts when it's brought up. I don't know, I'm being childish."
"I'm not going to marry a Tendo."
"How are you going to stop that?"
"I'm working on it."
"How is that head wound?"
"What head wound?"
"When Akane smacked you the second time?"
"Oh, that, that one felt weird… like someone was telling me in my head 'that was stupid! Why did that happen twice?' and another part says 'Yeah, once was enough.' I am better now."
"Well, could you turn around?"
That's when the door opened, and Akane was there, naked except for a towel, in the inner furo with Ranma in front of Ukyo, facing her. Ukyo had her hand on his shoulder, and was pressed up against him.
Akane'as eye twitched.
"Akane? There is room for you too." Ukyo told her, unmoved.
Ranma wasn't, instead in shock.
Akane left, closing the door before leaving.
"What's her problem? Hey Ran-chan, are you going to turn around so I can wash your front? Ran-chan?" Ukyo asked, shaking him.
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Later, Akane was in her room with Ukyo.
"Akane, look, there is nothing to be mad about…"
"You two were bathing together!"
"So…"
"He's a boy!"
"So…"
"You aren't supposed to do that!"
"Normally, yeah."
"What do you mean by that?" Akane had her eyebrow raised.
"Put it this way… we did it for six years even though we knew we were different. I knew I was a girl before that, but Ranma thought I was a boy until we bathed together. I was already in love with him, so I didn't care, and I made it alright with him. Sure, we did a lot of exploring each others bodies and stuff like that, but we pretty much grew up on the road and I was more of a brother than a sister because of what we did. That and we went to school together in all boys schools-"
"What! Why did you do that!" Akane's eyes were wide, hair grasped by her hands.
"Because Pops is a cheapskate… and it allowed me to be near Ran-chan… what's with that face?"
"How did you do that?"
"I pass off as a good boy when I have to. I don't think anyone found out."
Akane's eye twitched.
"So then I had to screw it up by slipping that I wanted to marry him. That didn't turn out well and we bathed separately from then on. My developing body gave him nosebleeds."
"You… you… what… no… akkk."
"Akane? What's wrong? If you are going to hit on me again, remember that it will take me a long time to get over Ran-chan."
"I'm not a lesbian!"
"Sure you aren't."
"What! You think I'm some sort of pervert!"
"Nah, just a lesbian."
"It's not true!"
"Whatever you say… why shouldn't I bathe with Ranma? You are still pretty mad about that."
"It's not right! It's perverted!"
"Yeah, it probably would if we were normal. But, remember what I said Akane, we grew up like that, and haven't done it until after Jusenkyo. Although, that didn't really count since we had no hot water."
"So why NOW!" Akane screamed. Inside her head she was in a crisis. 'It's perverted! But Ukyo suggested it! But she's a girl. Ranma couldn't handle it anymore. So he's not a pervert. But he has a girl body! So he is a pervert! Right? Girls aren't supposed to be perverts! Only lesbians! But, if that's true, that Ukyo is a pervert then she's a lesbian! But she can't be a lesbian because she was after Ranma before Jusenkyo! So this means she is a pervert and not a lesbian! But, if that's true, then Kasumi lied to me! But Kasumi never lies! Ahhhh!'
"Well, I figured, since Ranma has a girl body half the time now, that she already seen everything and has everything, why not? Although, Ranma was still skittish until I said that it was alright. Besides, he listens to me. I'm the only real friend he has, unless you want to be his friend. You changed your mind, remember?"
"I… no… Kasumi... no… never… not… pervert… but… Ranma… no… but… body… lie… real… not… pervert." Akane was stunned and sat on her bed clutching her head, trying to make sense of the world while mumbling words.
"Akane?"
"Lies… no… impossible… pervert… never… world… girl… boy… no… never!"
"Are you alright?"
Akane twitched wildly, spasms all over her; she twisted around on her bed till she passed out.
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Author's notes: Well… this took longer than expected. Anyway, this was rewritten a lot since I wanted the first day of school to be different. Yeah, I had the two bathing; I wanted to get a furo walking in scene to make up for the first one. Yes, Akane is losing her mind since she's in a paradox. Girls are only perverts if they are lesbians; yet, Ukyo did something perverted but cannot be a lesbian. Since Kasumi told her this, it must be true, but if it's a lie that means Kasumi lied to her, causing her brain to crash. Poor Akane… anyway… more should be able to be posted soon. Sorry about this, I had problems writing this right and it still looks wrong somehow. Anyway, you must be hit with more tables. Hit them with tables! I'm not that good with writing fights, so, that's why it was all like that. Remember to check in next month on the first, I'm trying to keep a schedule. That is all.
