My memories of Before are starting to dim. I don't know why. It's like there's this filmy substance obstructing my vision, and I have to squint to see through the mist.
My name is Bella Swan. I live with my dad, Charlie. I'm a senior in high school. A few weeks ago, I got my acceptance letter to Dartmouth. I have an old, red truck my dad gave me a few years ago.
That's right, Bella. Don't forget. Never forget.
I have always wanted a dog, but Charlie's allergic.
Come on! There's more. There has to be more.
My mother divorced my dad when I was a baby. She got remarried a couple of years ago. I love to feel the sun on my face. I listen to all kinds of music because I can't choose just one genre. Spaghetti is my favorite food. Romeo and Juliet is my favorite playwright by Shakespeare.
Yes. That's it. You haven't forgotten. You aren't lost .
I realize that I've been pacing around like a caged tiger since Jasper left. My throat is burning. I want to claw and scratch the pain away, but I know it won't help. The burning is a part of me now. It's a not-so-nice reminder of what I have become.
I move for the double doors when I hear footsteps. Having memorized Jasper's steady gait, I know he's right on the other side of the door. I can feel his power seeping through the cracks in the wood.
I flash to the center of the room when he enters the space. He has a dead deer attached to his shoulders. He looks at me, and lays it on the ground, a few feet from where I'm standing.
He keeps an eye on me while he says over his shoulder, "Kane, come in here and take the body."
The dirty vampire speeds inside, tosses the body over his shoulder, and speeds out again. Not once does he look in our direction. I file his name away, in case I might need it later.
"That's for you," Jasper tells me, pointing at the animal lying between us. "It's pretty fresh."
I think about what he could mean. At first, I'm completely confused, but then I start to smell the blood. It's not nearly as appetizing as the boys had been, but I fall to my knees and bite into it all the same. I'm too thirsty to be picky.
Blood fills my mouth, falls down my throat, soothing the ache slightly. I suck the deer dry, desperate for every last drop. By the time I'm finished, I feel more sane, more in control.
Jasper's made himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged on the floor, directly in front of me. I watch him warily, unsure of his intentions. "Why would you help me?" I ask.
"We have 10 newborns. You're number 11. We need more if we're going to have a chance with the Volturi."
"Can't go killing off your army, is that it?"
He smirks. "Exactly."
I chuckle bitterly. My hand pushes my mane of hair out of my face, and the other wipes away the blood dribbling down my chin. "I thought people signed on to fight a war. I wasn't aware they were forced."
A dark look crosses his face. "Well, now you're aware."
"What have the Volturi done? Why are you building an army to fight them?"
"A soldier doesn't ask questions."
"I'm not your soldier," I retort. "I never wanted this."
I jump to my feet. Angrily, I stride to the opposite side of the barn. My emotions are skyrocketing, firing off like an out of control firework. Fear pulses, anger pounds, hatred slams into me relentlessly.
"I can feel your emotions," he says, his tone conversational.
I won't look at him. "How?"
"It's the power I was given when I woke up," he says.
Horror washes over me as it slowly dawns on me what that means. "You know exactly what your victim is feeling when you kill them." It's not a question. It's a horrible realization.
"I do." He's so honest about it. There's no sign of remorse, no sign of guilt.
I lower my head, fingering the scar on my wrist. "Maria pretended like she was homeless," I murmur. "It was dark and I was leaving the store. She was waiting outside."
I laugh harshly to myself. "I went searching in my wallet for some money. I remember I had a twenty, and I held it out to her. I felt pity for her then, I felt sadness at how awful her life must be.
But then she gripped my arm with hands of steel, and she sunk her teeth into my skin. There was only pain after that."
Why tell him what happened? I'm not sure. Maybe because I want him to see what kind of person he's supporting, but of course he already knows. He understands the kind of person Maria is because he's just like her. I shouldn't forget that.
My eyes cut across the room till I'm staring into his intimidating gaze. "You have no respect for life. Not even for your own life. How could you? You allow yourself to be Maria's slave."
His jaw hardens. He flashes to my side. "You know nothing," he spits out.
I tilt my head defiantly. "You're name is Jasper Hale. You are Maria's pet. You hate yourself. You hate Maria. You hate everything."
Stunned, he backs off. He looks at me with wide eyes. If he needed to breathe, I would be willing to bet, he'd be panting by now. "You're not as mysterious as you might like to think," I whisper.
"You don't know me."
"I know enough."
The doors open once again, and Maria stalks in. "My newest creation," she says, coming to stand before me, her eager eyes taking in my person.
Jasper stiffens, but otherwise stays still. I observe Maria, unimpressed with what I see. She's pretty in a superficial way. Such a tiny thing, but I know from experience, she's a force to be reckoned with.
"You're mature for your age," she comments thoughtfully. "Most of my newborns are quite crazed, but you...you are different."
She looks at me as if she expects me to thank her for the compliment. She'll be waiting a long time if that's the case.
There's a drawn out pause, then she says in a commanding voice, "Jasper, report."
"The newborn is stable. She'll be ready soon," he says, fast and to the point.
Nodding, she purses her lips. "Make sure you teach her how to fight. I would hate to lose an asset so valuable."
"Of course," he says, his tone and his stance submissive.
Smiling, her eyes slide to Jasper. Her palms cup his face like one would a lover, but I sense it's an act. "Don't fail me," she tells him quietly.
"I won't," he vows.
She presses a kiss to his lips, and leaves as suddenly she had arrived. I see Kane nod at her as she walks by, but the doors close and I see nothing else. "I guess we're both slaves," I say softly.
"What's your name?" he asks for the second time today.
I don't want to tell him. I have had everything taken from me. Everything I know and care about is gone. My family, my friends, my humanity. My name is all I have left. It's the only thing they can't take from me. If they know it, then they'll have more power over me because names are powerful.
I go sit in my corner. "You can call me whatever you like," I say.
He follows, falling gracefully to the floor beside me. "It's hardly fair that you know my name, and yet I don't know yours."
I feel so very fragile. I'm spun glass that's just tipped over the table. I'm a flower that's just been stepped on.
My smile is hard, unforgiving. My chest rattles, and my fingers are clawing into the earth, trying to keep myself from falling over the cliff I see in my mind's eye. "Haven't you heard? Life isn't fair."
