"So are you thinking of me as more than the bigheaded James Potter?" He asked with a small smile.
"Not with that attitude." she replied simply. "But I do confess that perhaps you're more multifaceted that I previously thought." She hated admitting that. OH how she hated it. But it was the truth, and once again, this was a truth game, was it not? Thinking swiftly, she decided she needed to get off this subject before he became a little too comfortable in their close quarters. "So... what are your parents like?" she inquired. "I always wondered what wizarding parents would be like."
James shrugged. "My mom worries a bit too much, but what mother doesn't? My dad…well he's great. We have a lot of that 'father son bonding time.' They're both pretty nice and levelheaded." He stated. "What about yours?" He asked. The entire time thinking of the fact that she noticed that there was a change in him.
She shrugged. "My mum was pretty overbearing when I was little and pranced me and my sister around like windup dolls. She's a nice woman though; goodhearted. I love her to pieces, and she's lightened up a lot, although I still don't think she appreciates me not being a ballerina." A flash of emotion went nearly unnoticeable through her eyes when she thought of her next statement. "My father was my best friend, and tried to make mum ease up on Petunia and I... he died when I was fifteen." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "You're an only child, aren't you? Do you ever wish you had siblings?"
James decided not to ask her about her father. He hadn't known about her father dying, but he could tell it was a soft subject.
"I did a lot when I was little. We live kind of out in a rural area, so we don't really have any neighbors. And the ones we do have don't have kids. So I never really had someone to play with when I was a kid. Though now that Sirius stays at my place, it never gets boring. I suppose he's become like a sibling to me. Do you ever wish you didn't have a sibling?" James added at the end of his response. He knew that the answer was probably a yes, but he was running out of things to say.
"Never." Lily replied. "Petunia may get on my nerves a lot, and she's mean to me for no reason. She claims to hate me and is always calling me names at home and informing me that she hates me and the world would be a better place if I weren't in it." Lily smiled and let out a small laugh. "But she's my sister. We're supposed to detest each other and fight constantly. I figure after about twenty-five, she'll see the error of her ways and we'll be friends again." She shrugged. "You reckon you'll be friends with Sirius, Remus, and Peter after we all graduate?"
"Yes. I do actually." James said with a happy smile. "I know everyone thinks that they'll stay friends with whomever their friends with for years to come, but I truly think I will stick with these guys. I know you hate the term, but after all, we are the marauders." He hesitated before saying what he was about to, but they were playing the game of truth, and he doubted Lily would tell anyone. "The only person I have doubts about is Peter. I just have this gut feeling that he won't stick around." he said with a small sadness in his eye. Peter may be annoying at times, but he was still apart of their gang. "But hey he might run off with some beautiful woman and have loads of children." He added with a laugh.
"When do you reckon Filch will unlock this closet?" He asked for his question.
Lily raised a delicate brow. "Sick of me already? I really should have tried this years ago, apparently." she covered a yawn with her hand. "I don't know. Unless he realizes something needs immediate cleaning in the general area, he probably wont unlock it until morning." She shifted, leaning against the nearest wall, getting herself comfortable. "What do you plan to do after you graduate?"
"I dunno. I've got a lot of things I'd like to do. One of them is to be an auror." He said glancing towards the ground. Lily might think it would be stupid of him to dream of being an auror. "Oh…and about me being sick of you. Not at all. In fact, I was just wondering how much more time we'd have to spend together. I like this…you know, the whole not fighting aspect of it all." He said grinning. "What do you want to do after you graduate?" He asked.
"I want to be a Healer. Do some actual healing at St. Mungo's for a while, and then go into studying medicines and such. I'd really like to find cures for things, I think." she sighed. "I think I want to work with children while I'm actually healing, too. I don't plan on having any of my own, but I really do love little ones." she looked a bit wistful, but it almost instantly disappeared. "Why an auror?" she inquired.
James shrugged. "I guess it just seems…I don't know, noble? It seems like the right thing for me to do. My dad keeps going on about how I don't even need to work since I'll be inheriting his fortune one day, but I really would like to work and make a living for myself. Stand on my own two feet you know?" He then lingered on Lily's comment about working with children. "You'd be a good mom." He stated. Even though that wasn't a question, he still thought he should say it.
"Nayh." she replied. "I'd never give my child the time of day... I worry about the big picture, not the little details. I'd want to be helping the masses instead of paying attention to my own little one. Besides, I don't see myself ever getting married. I don't think anyone, not even you, Mr. Stalker, would be able to put up with me full-time for more than a year."
"I dunno." James replied. He of course would love to marry Lily, he often thought about marrying Lily. "I definitely want to have a wife and children someday. I like the idea of providing for someone, and spending the rest of my life with someone I'm in love with…" His eyes weren't really focused on anything in particular; he was in a sort of a daze. "I think you'll get married, even though you don't think so now." James said, "I think you'll get married, and make some lucky guy feel amazing about himself. Then you'll have a child and be an amazing mother." As James said this, he pictured himself and Lily getting married and raising a child, that much though, would be kept in his head.
"Clearly you believe in love," she observed. "I, on the other hand, don't. I think it's a bit like Divination. Some people claim to be able to See, and others go along with it, although you'll never know if it's real or not. Love's like that. People say they're in love all the time, before breaking up and hating each other. I think that, were love to exist, it would be like some rope that bound two people to each other. But, as I've never seen an example of this, I can't say I believe in it. No proof."
"Well…I think that's because you've never been in love." James said. He realized he was skimming the edge of a row, but he thought that this was something important. He glanced up at Lily. Those beautiful green eyes, elegant red hair, soft looking peach lips. How could she deny that there was such a thing as love?
"And you have?" she said, looking at him skeptically. "Honestly, James, if you say you're in love with me, I'm going to laugh. You hardly know me. You think you know everything there is to know, but in reality, you know about as much about me as the rest of the school does, despite all your following and nagging."
"I…I don't think you have to know everything about a person before you can say that you love them." James said gulping before he went on, "I think that that's part of what love is…wanting to spend time with that person so that you can find out everything about them." He finished. He could feel his face grow hot, and his stomach felt as if butterflies now inhabited it. His expression was one of sincere longing, and a look of hope filled his eyes.
Lily let out a little burst of laughter. "Why, James Potter. Are you blushing? Because that's certainly what it looks like from right here." Her laughter faded when she noted the look in his eyes though. Looking more serious, she watched him. "You really do like me, don't you?" she asked, voice considerably more quiet that it had been just moments before.
Ignoring the fact that she had just laughed at him, he instead looked up at her, staring directly into her eyes, and said,
"Yeah…yeah I do. And I have, for a long time Lily. I really have." It was out there. He had expressed how he felt without doing it in some idiotic way. All it took was a broom closet, and some time alone with her. He didn't feel embarrassed anymore, but instead felt a sense of fear take over. Lily didn't love him the way he loved her, and he knew that. He now realized that this effort to prove to her that he was no longer the James Potter he used to be, had been futile, because even now that he had let out what he felt about her, he was still no steps closer to actually being with her. He held her gaze with his, eyes locked, not daring to move as he waited for a response.
Lily watched him. Now she felt bad... horribly so. "James, I'm sorry..." she looked genuine, her own ice shell melting for the first time all night."I don't know what to say. I think you're telling the truth, and if you are, I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the same." Her logic began kicking in. "I just don't think our personalities will click. You'll get bored with me..."
As she trailed off, James knew what he was going to do. There was no thinking about it involved.
