As the Impala rumbled into the parking lot, Dean began to smile. Though he had only been gone a few hours, it seemed like forever. He longed to see Kay. He desperately wanted to be alone with her, to uncover who she really was. Regardless of how horrid her past had been, he wanted to show her that it did not matter. He would accept her completely. When he loved, it was absolute and without conditions. He could count the number of people he had ever truly loved on one hand. She was beginning to take another finger. It baffled him. It terrified him. Would she, could she, love him knowing what skeletons that haunted his closets? There was only one way to find out. Dean did not back down from things that scared him. He faced them head on, just as he would face Kay.
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Sam came out of the bathroom. His face was ashen and his eyes watery. "Do you ever have nightmares?"
"Not anymore. At first, I drank myself to sleep so I wouldn't dream. I have not forgotten. I will never forget, but I do not dwell on it. There is nothing that can be changed. I'm not sure I would change it if I could. Yes, my scars are repulsive and hideous. I am so insecure now that I can't talk to men. I will probably be alone for the rest of my life because of that. However, I have helped people, good people, too. So, if I have to sacrifice my wants for others, it is a small price to pay." For a brief second, her eyes misted. She blinked and then smiled at Sam. "Free will is a Gift. Destiny is not written in stone, it is defined by the choices we make. You of all people should understand that. I know your struggle. I know the guilt that you carry is crushing you. You have to let it go, it clouds your judgment. Yes, you have made poor choices, everyone has. But today you can decide to quit being Fate's bitch. Today, you can take your life into your own hands and make it your own. A life full of regret isn't life, Sam. It's just wasting space. No one and nothing can control you unless you let it. Not the Angels, not the demon blood, not even Lucifer."
"What? How did you…"
"When I allow someone to connect with me, the information goes both ways. You saw my memories and I saw yours. I know what is in your heart. You are a good man. But you need to stop beating yourself up, put on your big boy pants, and deal. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."
Sam didn't have time to respond. A knock at the door ended the conversation. Kay opened the door to find Dean smiling at her. Her heart skipped a beat and her skin started tingling. He was beyond handsome. He was beautiful. From his disheveled hair to his grimy boots, there wasn't an inch of him that she didn't crave. Sam had a heart of gold and was cute in a boyish way. But Dean…he was a MAN. He was upfront. He told people the truth whether the words stung or not. He was a man of action and had no time for words. Yet, he knew how to be comforting and charming when necessary. He was resourceful and thought well on his feet. He was set in his ways but could be spontaneous at the same time. Where Sam's idea of romance was bring flowers and going to a fancy dinner, Dean's was bringing a protection amulet and taking you to the shooting range for practice. Flowers die and the memories of a quiet dinner fade. Loving and trusting someone enough to give them a loaded gun... that's forever.
"Let me help you," Kay said. Somewhere in the transfer of burger bags and sodas, their fingers grazed each other. In that instant, images flooded Kay's mind. These were not memories as she usually saw. This was a premonition and it would be happening soon. Frightened, she almost dropped the food.
"You okay?" he mumbled, worry creasing his forehead. What had just happened? When she had touched him, electricity had coursed through his body. For him it was a pleasurable sensation and his body came alive. Had it been the same on her side, or was there something wrong? Would she pass out again? "You need to sit down and eat. We can't have you fainting again, can we Sammy?" His brother looked up from the bed where he had been sitting. His eyes were tired and worn. But there was something different in them as well. He had seen it another time, but could not place it. Oh well, he'll want a chick flick moment later.
"Let's eat." The next few hours were spent with them all sitting at the table enjoying the food and the company. They laughed and joked. Smiled and flirted. It was fun. And they were all happy.
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A cell phone rang in the darkness. Something broke and Dean cursed under his breath. This had better be something freaking good.
"Yeah?!" It was Bobby. He had a lead. There were black dog sightings in a town 45 minutes away. Three people had already been mauled. "Shit. You know how I hate those damn things...Yeah, sure. You owe me a drink after this one. Can you do me a favor?...I want you to run a name for me: Katherine Sebastina Cristos...I'll fill you in later, just run it. Call me when you get anything...Thanks." Black dogs sucked. Hellhounds frightened Dean to the core. He remembered what it felt like to be torn to ribbons, his soul dragged to hell by those ugly bastards with daggers called teeth. He suppressed a shudder. He turned on the lamp, kicked Sam's bed and told him to wake up. Shower, breakfast, then head out. They had a job to do. Then he noticed the empty bed. Kay was gone.
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The Cathedral was quiet. She had come to ask for something. Never had she questioned His Will. Never had she disobeyed. But she could not let this vision come true. It was too much to ask her to sacrifice.
"Father, I pray that you hear me." She knelt before the cross. "I cannot stand by and let this happen. They are both good men. They have done everything that has ever been asked of them. I will not just stand by. I beg for your mercy... If you take one brother, it will kill the other too... Yes, I understand that he is weary. He is full of doubt and the reason for that is obvious. Allow me to remove the root of the doubt. Let me take it into myself...Yes, Father...I am asking for You to give me permission to save them both."
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