Finally, the continuation of the dinner. Thanks to all who have followed/favorited, it makes my day to see people interested in the craziness that comes out of my head :)
Fuck it all; if he's going to con me, he'll have plenty of opportunity anyway. "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." I muttered softly, as I took his hand and let him lead me around to the front of the room as the song began to change.
As the familiar chords of one of my favorite songs began to play, I wondered how he had gotten into my head and under my skin so quickly. I allowed him to lead me around the floor fluidly; he was an accomplished dancer, and a fantastic lead, but I should have expected nothing less from what I had heard so far. I leaned in to speak into his ear, " Is there anything that you do that you don't do perfectly?"
His eyes darkened perceptibly at the double entendre, and I began to wonder if I had been too bold, until his hand at my waist gripped just a bit tighter to let me feel his reaction to my words, as he bent down to my other ear to say, "You'll just have to wait and see, Miss Wade."
The rest of our dance was a bit more provocative, and at the end, Neal made a great show of dipping me low and pressing his lips to the top of my sternum, making my pulse fly under his lips. When he brought me back up, I looked into his eyes, almost willing him to kiss me, but not wanting an audience. Instead, Neal asked, "Would you like to come back to my place for some wine? I promise to behave."
I gave him a smile as I gathered my purse and wrap. "Sure, Neal, but who says I want you to behave?"
I took his offered arm as we left the Bank of America Building and headed towards Neal's apartment, telling Peter that we'd see him in the morning and that we'd see Elizabeth soon. Idly, I wondered if I should be more careful with this man, whom I'd just met, but I brushed the thoughts aside. I could defend myself if necessary, and for some reason, I felt I could trust Neal.
As we made our way inside, Neal held the door and flipped on a light. "Make yourself at home, Miss Wade." He began to shrug out of his suit jacket, and draped it casually over one of the chairs gathered around the small table in the center of the room.
I took his invitation and began to look around the beautiful apartment he called home. I had always thought that you could tell a great deal about a person by seeing how they lived. Neal was obviously well read, and intelligent, as I looked over his bookshelves, I saw several titles in foreign languages. I wonder how many of these he's read, how many languages does he speak? The bed is neatly made and the apartment is lived-in, but tidy. No clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink. He couldn't have known that someone was coming to visit; this is how he lives all the time. Organized and focused. There's what appears to be a sculpture covered by a sheet by the balcony door, and there is a blank canvas and a sketchpad on an easel near the window, taking advantage of the natural light. I wish I could see some of his work.
" I don't have any finished pieces around here, but I can show you some another time, if you're interested." His voice was right behind me, and I startled at the sound.
" You need a bell, or something. I'm not used to people sneaking up on me." I said with a smile, realizing that he hadn't intended to scare me.
"Sorry, force of habit. I could carry a bell, but it wouldn't ring. It's a skill of the trade that I've learned over the years. Would you like a drink? I have a Chardonnay that's chilled, or a Pinot Noir that I can open, whichever you prefer. The restroom is through the door on the right if you'd like to freshen up." Neal answered quietly. I realized that his past life was both a blessing and a curse. The skills that kept him alive are now a noose around his neck. I wonder what started this way of life, what choice led to the outcome standing in front of me now.
"Surprise me." I countered, walking toward the door to the restroom he mentioned.
As I reached the door, I heard him answer, "That's a lot of trust to put in a man you've known for less than a day."
I finished my business and took the time to gather my thoughts as I washed my hands and freshened my lipstick. As I looked in the mirror, I decided to get it all out on the table now, and let the chips fall where they may. I'm not one to walk on eggshells around anyone. Let's see if he can hold his own with me. Walking out to the seating area, where Neal sat with two glasses of red wine, I looked him in the eye as I spoke, "You're choosing wine, not decorating my apartment, though you could probably do a better job than I did. Besides, Peter trusts you, and I see something in you…you're hurting inside, but you don't want anyone to think you're vulnerable, so you put up a strong front. You could be dying inside, but you'd still be smiling at us and telling us you're fine." I finished and waited to see what would happen next. Neal didn't disappoint.
His eyes flashed as he stood, "Did Peter tell you this?"
"Peter only gave be the bare minimum of information about you. We both agreed that the rest had to come from you. I've spent my life studying people, at their worst and as they improve. I'll admit that you are very difficult to read, but don't insult my intelligence by implying that I've been spoon-fed information. If I have a question, I'll ask. I see something between us, but I wonder if it's just a part of your elaborate façade." I countered. Have I lost my chance already by pushing him too hard, too fast, or will he rise to the occasion and prove to me why I'm here?
His face was relieved, but still tense as he spoke, "I'm sorry. Peter and I are close, and he doesn't read me that well, most of the time. Please sit down, relax. I'll try to do the same, and we'll talk. "
I did as he asked, sitting on one end of the sofa, and angled my body toward Neal, who was perched at the other end, obviously still anxious. I wondered what he was going to tell me, what was so horrible that he was poised to run; to escape this conversation before it had even begun.
Neal drew in a deep breath before he spoke, haltingly, as if he were afraid of what he was about to say, "Stephanie, I can't escape my past, and I don't know if I would even want to. My past has given me experience and a skill set that makes me invaluable to my team. Yes, there are still temptations, and I don't always 'think inside the box', but that's also why I am so good at what I do now, with Peter. "
I began to respond, but he held up a hand to stop me. He continued, " You will probably always question my motives, you'll probably always wonder if I am the man I say I am. What you need to know is that I'm not the same man that Peter arrested 5 years ago. I'm not the same man that saw the love of his life murdered in front of him, and I'm not the same man whose most recent love decided that building her career was more important and less of a risk than what we were building here together. I know I'm flawed, and I know and own what I have done in the past. Now you have to decide if it's something you want to run from, or something that we can use to build a relationship." Neal sighed as he finished, looking down at his hands in an uncharacteristic show of vulnerability. It was as if he expected me to leave after his revelation.
"Neal, first I want to say thank you for being so open and honest with me. Peter told me nothing of your past, except to reassure me that you were of no physical danger to me. I decided at the restaurant that I would let fate take me where it would, and it appears to be leading me to you. We all have baggage; we all have ghosts of the past. We're just looking for a matching set, so to speak. I don't know where this is going, and frankly, I'm up for an adventure, as long as you are with me." It wasn't like me at all to be this direct, but I felt that his honesty deserved the same in turn. I waited for him to speak, wondering nervously if maybe I shouldn't have put all my cards out on the table. Just as I was preparing to cut my losses and leave, Neal looked up at me and spoke.
"I'm with you, for as long as you'll allow me to be." He all but whispered.
His voice was deep and soft, and I wondered for a moment whether or not I had actually heard him, when I felt the sofa dip next to me and found myself looking up into his ocean blue eyes. I felt my heart race, and hoped that this was what I had been waiting for.
" I know we have an early morning tomorrow, and that you've had a long day today. I know we've only just met, that you're still learning to trust me, and that I promised to behave. I know that I'm wounded and probably in over my head, but I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would like nothing more than to kiss you goodnight." He was mirroring my confession and putting himself out there. I didn't know even a fourth of this beautiful man's story, but I knew that I felt a connection to him, and that I wanted to all but kill those that had wounded him so severely.
I looked into his eyes and nodded my consent. He gave me a dazzling smile before he leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed. My own followed suit as his lips gently touched mine. When he realized that I wasn't going to pull away, he pressed his lips to mine a bit more forcefully, one hand resting on my hip and the other cupping my cheek. My own hands reached for him, one going to the dark curls at the nape of his neck, and the other splaying across his broad chest. As the kiss deepened, I could taste the wine that we had both been drinking, along with a subtle spice that was all Neal. He kissed like a pro, and when we both pulled away, we were breathless, resting our foreheads together, eyes still closed.
As my breathing returned to normal, I risked a glance at his face, and was caught up again with his crystal blue eyes. He smiled again, leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose. He seemed lighter, almost playful. This was another side to him, one I wanted to see more often.
" I really do need to get going, it's been a long day, and tomorrow probably won't be any shorter. I'll see you in the morning?" I was cautious, not wanting to push for more than he was willing to give. Again, Neal was full of surprises.
"You will most definitely see me in the morning, Miss Wade. In fact, why don't you stop by here in the morning, and we'll ride in together. Say, around eight-o-clock?" It was impossible to resist his charm, and I nodded before I fully understood what I was agreeing to. Why couldn't I say no to this man?
"See you then, Mr. Caffrey." I answered with a wink, as he closed the door behind me.
I made my way home to my apartment in a daze, sliding into bed and turning off the lamp on the bedside table. Today had definitely exceeded my expectations. Hopefully this means my life is finally turning around. I fell asleep to thoughts of Neal and what the future might hold.
So...too soon for our couple? Neal is up next...it's harder to get into his head. He talks to me on his own time, and refuses to be rushed, lol. Let me know how I'm doing, this is the first time I've gotten up the courage to post anything.
Love, S
