Thank you to everyone for reading. I hope to stay true to the character that E.L. James created. In no way do I own any part of The Fifty Shades Trilogy. I hope you enjoy!

Looking down at her, I imagine crushing my mouth into hers. Forcing my tongue into her mouth, exploring. Reaching my hand up the back of her neck into her hair, pulling, forcing her face up to me so I can delve further into her mouth. Then I come back to reality. I take a deep breath and shake my head to expel my thoughts of her beautiful mouth. When I open my eyes, I realize who she thinks I am. You are not the good guy. You cannot be her Prince Charming. She doesn't understand what I am capable of, what I really want to do to her.

"Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I am not the man for you." Saying these words hurt. I can't stand letting her go, even now I am still holding her to my chest. But I know she is not ready for me, for what I want.

"Breathe, Anastasia, breathe. I'm going to stand you up and let you go." Again, these words pull at my chest, the place where my heart should be. As I let her go, I hold her at arms length, making sure that she can stand on her own. I can't believe what just happened. I felt something. I wanted to kiss her. I've never wanted to just kiss a woman.

As she stands and regains her bearings, she seems to be upset. I am not sure if she is upset with herself or me. When she thanks me, I am again confused. Is it for coffee? She clarifies that it is for saving her. Suddenly I am struck by the thought of what would have happened had I not been standing here. She would have been seriously injured. The cyclist was not obeying traffic laws! Calm down Grey! She is fine. No need to have the cyclist put in jail. I ask her back to the hotel, I want to make sure that she is okay.

Suddenly, she is off. She crosses the street in a hurry. It is all I can do to not catch up to her and force her to stop. I follow her a couple of pacing behind. When we reach the hotel, she thanks me for the photo shoot, but she doesn't look me in the eye.

I call out to her. I want to tell her how I feel. How do you feel Grey? Do you have feelings? You don't want her; you just want to abuse her. To treat her like she is your crack-whore mother. To punish her the way you wish you could have punished the crack-whore.

When she responds, it's like one of my whips. The words sting as they reach me. I didn't realize how words could hurt like that. When she said my name, it felt vial. I can only mutter for her to have luck with her exams. Again, when she thanks me, the words prick at my skin. I know that she is being sarcastic. How does she get me to feel this way?

Once, she is out of sight, I try to regain my composure. It is not like me to have these types of conversations on the street. What do you expect, Grey? You let her in. You let her get into your head. Stop playing with this woman. You know that she will never truly love you. No one can love you. She deserves a prince, a night in shinning armor. You are not good enough for her.

After several deep breaths, I am able to go back to my hotel room. Taylor has packed everything and placed it into the car. The room looks just as it did yesterday when I arrived. Empty. Void of all feeling. Just like you, Grey. I call Taylor and ask him to meet me out front.

As I ride the elevator down, I think about this morning. Dammit, I need to find another sub. Maybe Elena has some people in mind. I get into the car and open my laptop. I need to get some work done and stop thinking about Anastasia.

The drive back to Seattle is uneventful. Hell, the following days are uneventful. Elena is too busy opening a new location of the chain salons to deal with me. So I am stuck thinking about this woman who doesn't even realize how much I want her. I decide to do something for her. I am not sure how she will take it. But I don't really care. I need to reach out to her, to make contact in some way. I call Taylor and tell him the type of books I want. All first edition, all in as close to mint condition as possible. And I want them there by Friday.

On Wednesday, I meet with Dr. Flynn. It's time to tell him everything and get his opinion. This should be fun. Our session starts normally. He asks me how I am doing picturing my life in the future. What am I doing to make that life a reality? The only problem is that I can't picture a future any different than the way that I am living now. This is a sticking point for him. Flynn insists that there must be something that I want to change. That is when I finally decide to tell him about Anastasia.

I start rambling on about how much I think about her. How she makes me think I feel something, something more than just wanting to punish her. How she surprises me with the things she likes. How she is not like other women her age. How, when I held her to my chest, it didn't register that she was touching me. How the smell of her hair, just the scent, made me relax. How her touch seems to travel through my veins.

Finally, Flynn stops me. He is just sitting here with a smirk on his face shaking his head. I ask him, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"This is different, Christian. This woman, she seems to be getting to you. How does that make you feel?" He answers.

"It makes me feel like I don't have control. I need to have control. I need to have control over her." I reply.

"Why do you need to have control over her?" Flynn asks.

"Because. Because I just do, okay?" and with that, our session is over.

On Thursday, I realize that Anastasia's last exams are tomorrow. She will be getting her gift. I wonder if she will call me when she gets them. Does she still have my number? Should I include it on the card? Shut up, Grey! Stop obsessing over this woman. You are sending her a gift. That is enough! If she wants to see you again, this will get the ball rolling. If not, MOVE ON!

I decided to see if Elliot wants to take a trip with me. When I give him a call and invite him to Portland for the weekend, he is ecstatic. I'm sure he knows that it is the last week of exams, and all of the college coeds are going to be out in full force this weekend. I let him know I will pick him up Tomorrow around 1 in the afternoon so we can ride together and get caught up.

Then I call Taylor, I tell him I am going to Portland again this weekend. But I will need two rooms, one for Elliot. He asks if he is driving us, and I reply, "Yes." And that is the end of the phone call. He understands everything he needs to do and get accomplished before then.

That evening, Mrs. Jones, my housekeeper/chef/everything around the home, makes dinner as usual and then disappears. I know that Taylor probably told her that I am going to Portland again this weekend and she wants to give me space to pack. I am anxious about Anastasia getting her gift. I placed a hand written note on it that is a quote from one of the books. The quote is about danger and being warned. Why do you have to give her something and at the same time warn her of danger? You are going to confuse the poor woman as much as you have confused yourself with this whole thing.

The next day, I go into my office only to make sure there is no loose strings that would make me cut my Portland trip short. Anastasia doesn't even know that I am coming to Portland. And I can't tell Elliot the real reason that I am going.

I arrive at Elliot's promptly at 1pm. Once he is in the car, we are off. I open a couple of beers and we relax into easy conversation. Once we arrive at the Heathman, Elliot and I head to the bar. I know that Taylor will take care of the luggage and the rooms. Once we are seated for dinner, I start to worry that Anastasia never got the books that I sent her. She has not called. I consider calling Andrea, my assistant, to make sure that she sent them correctly. But, if I can't trust her after all this time, she should be fired. Elliot looks at me quizzically as the thought of Anastasia receiving the books goes through my head. When I don't offer him an answer to my odd expression, he lets it drop. He knows I am in my own head a lot. After dinner, we talk casually about his work and mine.

At around 11pm, my phone rings. Elliot and I are both surprised. Me because I made sure everything was taken care of at work before I left today, Elliot because I usually put my phone on silent during a meal. Eating is always the most important. When I check the caller id, it reads Anastasia Steele. I immediately answer.

"Anastasia?" This is very odd for her to call me this late, or even at all. She asks about the books. So she did get them! But she sounds like something is wrong. When I ask her, she turns it around on me, calling me strange. Oh, baby, if you only know how strange I was. It finally occurs to me that she is drunk. When she becomes evasive with answering my questions, I start to get upset. Doesn't she know not to go out and get drunk in a bar? Doesn't she realize what can happen? My heart starts to race as I think about all the ways this could go wrong for her tonight. When she refuses to tell me were she is and hangs up on me I am almost irate. Elliot looks at me from across the table as I get up. He follows asking what just happened, I blow him off and call Welch.

"Welch." He answers

"I need a trace on Anastasia Steele, now!" I reply.

"One moment, sir."

Once he gives me the address of the bar, I turn to Elliot. "Want to go to a bar with a bunch of drunk coeds?" I say. The mere mention of drunk coeds and he has forgotten all about the one sided conversation he just heard. When we get to the lobby Taylor is there waiting. I tell him the address and he understands I want to get there now. When we get into the call I call Anastasia back. I tell her I am coming to get her and hang up. She does not deserve the right to speak to me right now.

When we arrive at the bar, I quickly walk in scanning the room. Elliot is right behind me. I spot Miss Kavanagh, but Anastasia is not with her. When I walk up, she regards me coolly. I ask about Anastasia, and she directs me outside. I can tell by the way she looks at Elliot that he will not be going far from her.

The moment I step outside, I see her. Mr. Rodriguez is holding her, tracing his lips on her jaw. I can hear her tell him to stop, so I step in. The moment that she is released, she begins to vomit. When I look at Jose, he takes the hint and scurries back inside. Fucking vermin! How dare he fucking touch her! I ought to beat the shit out of him just for forcing himself on her to that extent! As I hold Anastasia's hair out of the way as she continues to dry heave. Once she is able to speak, she apologizes. For what? For almost getting raped? For drunk dialing me? Hell, for getting so fucking drunk to begin with? When she finally looks up at me, I can't help but feel sorry for her. Does she not know how to hold her liquor? I try to make her feel better by telling her that everyone has been through this. When she tells me that this is the first time, I understand her actions a bit more. If she were a veteran at this, she wouldn't be killing the flowers.

When she starts to lose her footing I pick her up to carry her to the car. She is insistent on letting Kate know. Why do you need to let her know anything? She is not looking out for you. She let you almost get mauled by the photographer. I reluctantly lead her back into the bar. She begins questioning how I found her. She really doesn't know how controlling I am yet. I immediately take her to the bar and get her a glass of water. Once she has drunk all of it, we go off in search for my brother and Miss Kavanagh. I realize that I am going to have to get her across the dance floor to where they are. I pull her close to me again and dance our way through the crowd. If she was not so drunk, and I was not so royally pissed off, I may enjoy dancing with her. What the fuck, Grey? Enjoy dancing with her? Who the fuck do you think you are? You want to be her dom, not her boyfriend! We arrive to where Miss Kavanagh is gyrating her ass on my brother. I lean to my brother, with out letting go of Anastasia, and tell him I am taking her back to the hotel. Elliot waves to us bye. As I pull Anastasia off of the dance floor and back towards the door, she begins to pass out.

"Fuck!" I say as I catch her before she hits the floor. Then Taylor is right there, helping me get people out of the way so that I can get to the car. He opens the door for me to get in with her. Once he is inside, he asks where he is going. I tell him back to the Heathman. His mouth goes into a hard line as he begins to drive. Am I really taking her back to my hotel? I watch her as she sleeps in my lap. She looks so peaceful.

When we arrive at the Heathman, I take her up to my room. I lay her in bed and begin undressing her. I first take off her shoes and socks. Then I realize that I am going to have to take off her jeans, they have vomit all over them. Once they are off, I decide that she is sufficiently undressed and can sleep in peace. I undress and get into my pajama bottoms. Once I am in bed, I find that I don't want to sleep. I just want to lie next to her and watch her.

Who the hell are you? You don't let women sleep in your bed! There is a whole other adjoining room that she can sleep in! You are not in control of yourself Grey! You need to have a serious conversation with Flynn!

Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think so far. I am going to try and write a fast as I can. Hopefully a couple of chapters a week. Let me know what you think of Christian!

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