As I step on my plane, my stomach lurches and my plams begin to get sweaty.
I'm going to visit my mother for a little while. I know she wants me to see Tegan. Apparently she's been a mess these past few years.
How long has is been since I've even spoken to her? Seven years?
I never told my mom why me and Tegan stopped talking. She just said "I really wish you two wouldn't fight, but if that's what will keep the peace between you two, then so be it." I still have to remind her that me and Tegan and thirty year old women now, and not two fist fighting teenagers.
I read on the plane for hours. I'm rereading an old favorite : The Hotel New Hampshire. It always made me think of Tegan. I made her read it after I did. She came to my door at three in the morning and fucked me right there in my doorway after she finished it. I figured maybe we could get it out of our systems like the brother and sister in the book did. But, we didn't. I tried to distance myself from Tegan,but I couldn't. She made me feel so calm and stressed at the same time. She gave me such great sex, and loved me so much. But, we're older now. I'm sure these things never even cross mind. She's probably busy partying, while I'm busy with an actual job and planning my wedding.
After what seems like a century, my plane lands in Vancouver. I'm met by my mother with her arms wide open and tears in her eyes.
"Sara, it's been too long." she says hugging my small stature.
"I know,Mom. I've missed you."
She pulls away and looks at me.
"Your breasts! Where did they go?!" She says surprised and I turn crimsion red and cross my arms over my chest.
"Mom, I'm a grown woman, please don't say things like that..." I'm still trying to recover from the embaressment as my mom takes my suitcase and leads me to her car.
"So how's Emy?" She asks while we drive home.
"Oh, She's great!" I smile. "She's so excited about planning our wedding, we just need to get her paperwork taken care of."
I met Emy at an artschool in Montreal. I was lost and she knew where I needed to go. Once she flashed her big, beautiful smile at me, I knew she was going to mine some way some how. She drew me cards and slipped them underneath my dorm rooms door. I remember the first time she invited me to her room. She showed me all her cd's and we listened to music for hours. I kissed her and she giggled, grabbed my face, and smashed my lips into hers. She's one of the most talented artists I know, and now she makes album art for musicians. I paint, but it doesn't do much to pay the bills. I make a political comic or two sometimes for our local newspaper, but that's about it. I proposed to Emy a year or so ago, and we've finally decided to start planning our wedding. She's so cute, the way she brings home all these wedding magazines and is looking for the perfect dress. I'm going to miss sleeping next to her everynight and reading books in bed together before we fall asleep.
"That's good to hear! Has she become some sort of bridezilla yet?" my mom chuckled.
"No, not at all. You know what Emy is like. She's so calm and collected, unlike me."
"Well then I'm glad you found a good counterpart to yourself." My mom smiled while still looking at the road.
"Are you hungry at all?" She asked as my stomach made a loud gurgling sound.
"...I guess I am."
"Okay great! I know the perfect place!" my mom said as she got her phone out and dialed a number.
"Tegan, How are you honey?" I heard my mom say to the phone, and my heart stopped.
"Maybe you'd like to join me for lunch? I am not schedueled for any lectures at univeristy today, so I figured I'd hang out with my daughter..."
Mom giggles at something in response to Tegan.
"Yes honey, but you're much closer than my other daughter."
She hung up the phone with a smile.
"Guess who's joining us for a meal?" She says enthusiastically. The blood drains from my face annd my heart begins to pound so loud I'm sure my mom can hear it.
"Sara, are you okay?"
"I'm just a little nervous..." I say in a small voice.
"How long has it been since you've even spoken to your sister?" She asks concerned.
"About seven years or so..." I say quietly.
"SARA! are you serious?! Tegan is your TWIN SISTER! how can you two not speak to eachother for that long?!"
"I don't know mom, I don't know."
"Well hopefully while you're here you can resolve the fight you two are in and be sisters and love eachother again." my mom says as we pull into an old pancake house me and Tegan used to come to all the time.
The last part of her sentence stuck to me. To love Tegan again. I've always loved her, but, I don't think I'd see her in the same light as I did all those years ago. We were only 23 back then.
My mom and I find a booth to sit in and look over the menus.
"Tegan over here!" I hear my mom yell and wave. My heart is poounding in my throat as I see someone who looks exactly like me walk towards our table. She stops dead in her tracks when she sets her eyes on me. She goes pale and I blush.
"Hey Teetee, long time no see." I smile up at her behind my bangs which are starting to grow over my eyes.
She faints and falls right to the floor. I hear my mom scream and go over to my sister who is passed out on the floor. She yells for help and a big burly man comes over and lifts Tegan off the floor as if she were just a tiny doll and helps bring her to my mother's car. I sit in the back seat of the car with Tegan's head on my lap, brushing her hair away from my face. She hasn't aged a day since I've seen her. Her hair isn't black anymore. She still kept her labaret in after all these years. I run a finger across her bottom lip and then touch my own. They fit so perfectly together, they're the same exact pair of lips as mine. She looks so beautiful, even though she's such a wreck. We pull into our mom's driveway and we hoist Tegan out of the car and managed to carry her into the spare bedroom (which will be the room I'm staying in). My mom leaves to go make some tea, but I told her I'm rather tired and would like a to take a nap. She smiles sadly and leaves the room. I lay next to an unconcious Tegan on the fullsized bed. I face towards her and look at her profile. I smile and fall asleep next to her. We haven't been in the same bed for seven years.
