Every first has a memory
I'm so sorry for the long wait. I've been busy with school and social life. It's been hectic and I lost my inspiration and creative ideas for a bit. Today I had this idea and started to write it out, and I am satisfied with the result.
Please R&R!
Every first will be remembered. For every person it has a special meaning. It changes from 'the first kiss' to 'the first time he said he loves me' or 'the first song we danced on'.
Even Cillie remembers her firsts.
The first time she kissed Fenris was… chaotic…exciting…filled with pure lust. When he came to her home to apologize for his behavior, she noticed the feelings in the pit of her stomach began to come alive. What was it they called it? Butterflies? She only knew that she wanted to hold him, touch him, make him see how much she cared and that he wasn't alone. So when he was about to leave, she grabbed his arm to hold him back, to get more time. His reaction however wasn't at all as she expected. He got her pushed against the wall with his lyrium glowing and a snarl on his face. When he realized what he had done, he calmed and was about to step back. Cillie stopped him by forcing herself on him, kissing him with all her might, pulling him to her as close as possible. It was then that she felt him return the kiss and move his hands over her back and waist. So when she pushed him against the wall, it was no surprise that both had that look of lust on their face.
Following her fond memory of her first kiss with Fenris, followed her first night of passion with him. She was no virgin, but he might as well have been. He told her before that he didn't know if he ever had anyone.
She expected this night to be clumsy, but he seemed more like an expert. His hands moved to all the right places in the perfect pace. His mouth kissed her lips with care and love, making her hunger for more. His tongue felt so warm on her skin. She needed to feel more of him, to feel his skin on hers and move in sync with him. So when they were both naked, she pushed him on the bed and moved on top of him, straddling his waist while kissing him with all her passion and all her need for him. She filled this kiss with all her love and care and all her worries. She let it all go, forgetting the world around them while she lay there with him.
His hands found her waist and she could feel him at her entrance, poking her gently while looking at her, asking her permission. She nodded and moved to let him enter her.
He filled her so perfectly. It was by no mean painful or uncomfortable. It felt like he was made for her. It was heaven. He moved slowly at first, pushing up while she came down and grunting softly in pleasure. She bit her lip while she looked at the perfect man underneath her. His eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. She took advantage of his mouth and slipped her tongue in his mouth to seek out his own. The battle for dominance made her want him more, so when she picked up the pace, she saw him open his eyes with a smirk on his lips. He flipped them both around to pin her down beneath him, her arms above her head while he kissed and bit her neck.
Moans and grunts started to fill the air as they both enjoyed the moment. The slapping of body against body was heard as they moved faster and harder, listening to each other's commands of a kiss here, a touch there and the scream of the partner's name while they came.
Her walls clenched around him as she came just a second before he joined.
And she wall asleep beneath him, with him still inside of her and a smile on her face.
Their first fight as a couple was after they had returned from a mission for Anders. She doesn't even remember how it had started, but she remembers that he was growling at her and cornering her while he spoke to her in a low voice. He saw the way Anders was still looking at her and was worried that there was more than meets the eye. Of course she denied it. It was nonsense! Anders was not her type.
But no matter how much she tried to convince him that she was only his, he got angrier and accused her of lying.
This made her slap him in the face, leaving a hand print on his cheek. She pulled her hand back in shock afterwards, gasping in shock of what she had done. She started to apologize while his head was still turned sideways from the slap. In the middle of her speech however, she felt him push her against the wall, much like she had pushed him during their first kiss, and pinned her there with her arms above her head.
He kissed her, claimed her, grunted to her that she was his, only his, and that he would kill anyone who would harm her in any way.
She knew they could never be mad at each other for long before regret or lust would take over.
The most shocking of all was the first time her period was late. With all the sexual activity she had with Fenris, she was surprised she didn't think of it before. She could be pregnant.
The idea of the two of them with a kid, a toddler running around, made her smile and made her want to run at the same time.
When Fenris noticed her slight panic after counting on her hands, he raised an eyebrow in confusion and asked her what was wrong.
The answer made him pause. She might be pregnant.
He kept his gaze on her and saw her own internal battle. He thought about the idea of kids, the idea of a little boy or girl running around with white hair and her eyes. The idea didn't seem that bad at all. In fact, it made him smile.
And he did, he smiled. And she smiled in return. He hugged her tightly to him while she laughed and whipped her tears.
That afternoon they went to see a healer, 'anyone but Anders' per his request. As they waited for the female healer to come back with news, they both held on to each other. Could they expect a new member to the family? Would it be a girl or a boy? Could she continue taking missions? When would she be due?
The news bringer returned a moment later with a neutral face. Cillie and Fenris both looked at her but she shook his head at them. No baby, not with child.
They looked at each other and even though the baby was not planned, it was wanted. But there was no baby. There was no family. And all Cillie could do as soon as they got home, was cry for days on end over the loss of someone she never had, a little boy or a little girl, with white hair and her eyes.
But even though she didn't get pregnant then, she knew that they would keep on trying now that the mental picture was painted. They wanted to meet that little boy or girl and see if he or she indeed had white hair and deep green eyes.
Whatever color hair or eyes, they knew that they would love the little one with everything they had.
