A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys! Midterms were this week and they were pretty killer! So here's an extra-long update. This story is going to be kind of angsty, but I'm not saying anymore than that :) I'll try and update "Destiny" tomorrow and a new story that I'm working on!
Before Jack left for the airport the next morning, he called the jail to let them know about Kate's pregnancy. She had apparently told only her cellmate and a nurse, so the warden's shock was genuine. Jack stressed to the woman the importance of keeping her healthy. He told them he was moving nearby, and he was going to keep an eye on her. He wanted her moved from her cell to a hospital for the last two months of the pregnancy, and until then, constantly watched. He didn't want to risk anything happening to Kate or their child. The woman lazily informed him that getting the last part done would be difficult, due to the circumstances of her trial and crimes. She weren't making any promises.
His next call was to the local hospital, who informed him that they would be happy to accommodate him, as long as he could provide references and transfer documents from his previous employer. As he hung up the phone, Jack wondered if he was making the wrong choice. Not that he regretted being near Kate, but he wasn't sure how he would adjust to moving to a new place, starting a new job. Having to rearrange his whole life and going to a place where no one seemed to recognize his face or know his name.
Then again, he thought, as he drove the rental car back to the rent-a-car depot, maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.
The plane ride back to LA was uneventful. He slept during the entire five hour flight, waking up only when the captain announced they were nearing LAX. The familiar sight of his hometown (home-city, more like it) from 5,000 feet up didn't elicit the same thrill as the last time he had flown into the Los Angeles airport, when he and the other survivors had been happy to be back again on solid ground after months of living on an island. He had been with Kate then, the two of them smiling, talking, and completely happy. The others had laughed and cheered with them as they landed.
And now…they had abandoned her. The sudden thought put him into a fierce rage, squeezing the armrests and clenching his teeth. A flight attendant passed him as she headed to her seat, and gave him a sympathetic, concerned look.
"Are you alright, sir?"
"Fine. I'm fine. I just hate the landings."
She gave him a flirty smile over her shoulder. "It'll be over soon."
She clearly expected him to return the favor, but he simply stared out the window, watching the clouds
He had his entire apartment packed up by the following morning. He called St. Sebastian's and told them about his transfer. The chief of surgery promised to fax his information to the hospital in Des Moines as soon as possible. He called Marc and left a message on his answering machine, letting his friend know that he was moving and would call him when he got settled in. He even called Sarah, unsure why he was dialing her number after so long. She answered on the fourth ring, sounding tired.
"Hi, Larew residence, Sarah speaking."
He almost smiled to himself at how professional she still sounded when answering the phone. She'd been like that when they were married.
"Hi, Sarah. It's Jack."
There was a short pause, and he could almost imagine her debated whether or not to hang up.
"Jack, wow. It's been—I saw that you were rescued. I was—I was so worried when I heard about your plane. Your mother called me all the time, and I had to stay with her for a couple days. How is she? How are you?"
"Fine. She's alright. Coping. My dad died. In Sydney. I was bringing him home."
"I'm sorry to hear that," The pang of sadness in her voice brought back memories of his own accusations against his father. His suspicions about whether or not his father had been sleeping with Sarah had never been fully disproved, but he figured now was not the time to bring that up.
"Look—I just wanted to tell you—"
"Mommy, Mommy!" A child's voice called from somewhere on her side of the phone. She sighed.
"I have to go, Jack."
"Jesus, Sarah, we only got divorced a year ago. Something you didn't tell me about?"
"He's my stepson, Jack. His name is Andrew. He's four. He's Eric's son from his previous marriage."
"Are you pregnant?" The question slipped out, unintentionally, and he regretted it the moment it left his lips.
"I was two-months pregnant when I left you." She said bluntly, and for a moment, a terror filled him that the baby she had been carrying was his.
Almost as if she sensed his fear, she quickly added. "Eric's. Her name is Jessa, and she's a year old."
"Congratulations. I'm happy for you."
"Thanks," Her reply sounded fake, forced, and he realized that his own words had seemed harsh.
"Sarah, really, I mean it. I know that I did a shit job as a husband, and I regret never paying attention to you, never having time for you. I know you wanted us to have a baby more than anything, and I—But you have a new life, and a baby, and a little boy to take care of, and you seem happy. I was just calling to say hi. I'm moving to Iowa this week. Something really important there. Just—checking in."
"I heard about that girl from your plane. They've got her in a prison cell in Iowa."
Jack fumbled for what exactly to say. It was clearly no question, but how was he supposed to response to that statement?
"Is she the reason you're moving to Iowa? I saw the pictures from the airport, they were all over the papers. You wouldn't need to call me up and tell me if you were just checking into a hotel for her trial. I know it's next week, the whole world is probably going to be watching. Is this letting me go? You finally fixed your Sarah-problem, now you can concentrate on getting on with fixing your white-trash jailbait girlfriend."
He opened his mouth to fire a round of poison at her; what right did she have to say things like that about Kate? Almost thankfully, the sound of a baby crying reached his ears, and before he could even open his mouth, she simply said, "My baby's crying. I have to go. Goodbye, Jack."
She hung up before he could respond, her words repeating in his mind: The whole world is probably going to be watching.
His cell phone rang several minutes later, and he recognized his mother's phone number on the caller iD. He was definitely not in the mood to talk to her, but he answered it anyway.
"Hi, Mom."
"Jack, what's this I hear about you moving to Iowa with some fugitive?"
That bitch, Jack thought angrily, moreso at himself for not realizing that the first thing Sarah would probably do would be to call his mother.
"I'm moving to Iowa by the end of the week, Mom. Des Moines."
"You have a life here, in Los Angeles, Jack," his mother's voice sounded almost whiny and it grated his nerves. "You want to drop all of this for some delinquent?"
"I'm thirty-four, Mom. I think it's about time I start making my own decisions. And she is my decision."
"She's the girl from your plane, isn't she? The one who murdered her father and shot those three men at that bank. What on earth do you see in someone like her?"
He wondered how he could even begin to explain what he felt for Kate to someone like his mother. How sweet she could be, kind and shy and sensitive and beautiful. How he had so desperately wanted to surprise her for her birthday in May, but the rescue had ruined his hopes. How he had never felt the way he felt about Kate with anyone before, not even Sarah. How she meant everything to him. How she was carrying his child…
Her hair tickled his face as she lay half on top of him, sleeping against his chest. On the nights they made love, such as this particular evening, their clothes were left discarded, and they kept warm through body heat and the blue Oceanic blanket, cuddled together and falling asleep all over each other. Other nights, when the exhaustion overruled their lust, they stripped down to their underwear and slept, both of them content with their closeness for comfort.
She slept, but he was wide awake, his mind turning gears in his head, wondering. They had been careless in their coupling, and he was concerned. So much for listening to your own advice, he chastised himself. It had been barely a month since his lecture about the dangers of pregnancy, barely a month since he had Kate had shared their second kiss. Three weeks since they had first made love, when she had given herself completely to him, her eyes full of trust. He was always gentle with her. To him, she was like a porcelain doll, fragile and breakable. He would never admit that to her. On the outside, she was tough, strong Kate, but on the inside, he knew she was just as vulnerable as the rest of them.
He began to trace circles across Kate's bare stomach, wondering vaguely how he would feel about being a father. Of course, he had given all the women the talk, but that hadn't stopped them. The supply of condoms and birth control pills had long since run out…they hadn't been careful. Still, there was that part of him that told him he wouldn't be at all angry if Kate told him she was pregnant. He wanted, more than anything, to be a dad, and for Kate to be the mother of his children. It didn't matter anymore, he decided, if they were on an island. He leaned over to kiss her gently and her eyes cracked open, squinting up at him.
"Hey," she said, tilting her head to the side a little.
"Hey yourself," he replied, smiling as he watched her yawn.
"S'morning, huh?" She asked, stretching and cozying up against him.
"Yeah, around eight or so, I think. You sleep okay?"
"Mmmhmm." She nuzzled against his neck, brushing her lips across his Adam's apple.
"Feeling any better?" He teased, smirking at her and leaning in to wrap her in his arms.
"My back still kind of hurts," she said, wrinkling her nose. He loved it when she did that, and she knew it.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I'm just glad you can keep yourself quiet. I'm a little worried about the others hearing us."
She wiggled out of his arms and sat up, pulling a bra out of the suitcase she had dragged into his tent the day she'd "moved in." She threw a pair of boxers at him and then got dressed while he watched her. She pulled her hair back into a bun and started out of the tent
"Hey, Kate?" He said quietly, and she turned around to look at him, moving a little closer.
"Yeah?"
"Remember what we talked about last night? About you getting pregnant?"
"Yeah…" To his surprise, the night before, after sex, she had casually hinted that she wanted a baby. Then, he had been adverse to the idea, reminding her what he'd said before. Now, however…
"Well, I was thinking, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I kind of want a baby. With you."
She touched her stomach gingerly and then went over to him. He took her in his arms and pulled her into a tight hug. She pulled back first, teary-eyed and smiling. Her fingers grazed his cheeks, nose, chin, running over his stubble and stopping to gently touch his lips. He moved her hands down and pulled her into his lap, placing one hand on the back of her neck, half entangled in her hair, pulling her close for a mind-numbing kiss. When they came up for air, she had a mischievous grin on her face.
Well, "I was going to go for a swim, but I guess we should get started, huh?"
When he'd hung up with his mother, listening to her chastising him about Kate for half an hour, he called some of the other survivors. He wanted to know if they would be testifying after all.
Charlie and Claire were in London and Claire was expecting their first child together, and that, coupled with Aaron, prevented them from coming.
Jin and Sun were in Korea and their baby was keeping them too busy to fly anywhere.
Sayid was busy with a job and couldn't take a day off.
Locke had scheduled a walkabout in Australia that same day and couldn't make the trial.
Rose was too sick to fly and Bernard had to stay with her.
Even Sawyer had an excuse.
Only Hurley informed him that he was flying in, and Jack's gratitude was evident.
"You're the only one who will come," he told Hurley. "I just—thanks."
"No problem, Jack. She's an awesome person, and you guys deserve to be together. It's like fate or something."
He had to laugh at that. Fate? Nah, Jack didn't believe in fate.
"I'll pick you up from the airport when your flight gets in. I'll call you at my new number to get all the details once I get settled in."
"Cool. See you in a couple weeks. Cheer up, man, it's going to be alright."
"Thank you again, Hurley. It means more than I can say."
"No problemo. It's just shit that the others won't come. You took care of them and Kate took care of them and now they all let you down. I'll pay for everything, if you want. As a way to pay you back for all the crap I caused you on the island."
"Don't worry about it," Jack said. "You testifying for her more than makes up for it."
"If you say so, man. Hey, I gotta go, but give me a call as soon as you can. Later, dude."
"Thanks, Hurley. Talk to you later."
The next few days went by in a whirl. He rented a U-haul truck and drove to his new house in Des Moines, a two-story, three-bedroom, two-and-a-half baths with a spacious kitchen and a large backyard. He knew he was pushing it with the extra bedroom, but he had a feeling that Kate would get off. They had both agreed on at least three kids with no preference to their genders.
His things easily fit into the house, but it looked sparse. As he counted down the days to her trial, he hired an interior decorator, lied and said his pregnant wife was visiting her parents and he wanted to make the house look nice for when she returned. He decided on lots of blues and beiges, to remind them of the island. The baby's room was something of a problem for him. He didn't know whether they were having a boy or a girl, and the lack of baby furniture made it difficult to make a solid decision.
He found suddenly that he couldn't make a choice with Kate there, and without knowing the gender of the baby they were having. She'd be home soon, in his arms again, and they would decide together.
His mother returned his call the morning before the trial, letting him know that a media frenzy had erupted over Kate's upcoming trial. His old landlord had told them that Jack had moved, but they apparently didn't believe him and camped out in front of the complex, hoping for a glimpse of him.
His colleagues at the new hospital were kept under a strict code of silence, not to tell anyone about their new co-worker. Jack hadn't actually worked yet, preferring to wait until Kate's trial and get all of that stress out of the way. He was nervous and excited and when he went to pick Hurley up at the airport that evening, Hurley asked if everything was alright.
"You seem kinda, I don't know, distracted."
Jack scoffed. "Sure, Hurley, yeah I'm fine. My fiancée and the mother of my child is about to go to trial tomorrow. I'm doing wonderful. Top of the world."
There was a pause for a moment before Hurley turned to him, grinning. "Kate's gonna have a little Kate? Or a little Jack?"
Jack hesitated a moment before confirming the news. Hurley slapped him on the shoulder, causing Jack to momentarily lose control of the wheel.
"Sorry, dude," Hurley said apologetically. "It's just, wow. I mean, how awesome is that? You guys will have your hands full."
"Yeah," Jack said, flipping on his wipers as rain started to fall on the windshield. "Awesome."
The trial was set for nine the following morning, so both Jack and Hurley went to bed early. Hurley slept in the guest bedroom while Jack spent a rough night on the king-sized bed in his room, tossing and turning, nightmares filling his head. He dreamed that Kate had given birth and the baby was stillborn. He dreamed that Kate died in labor. He dreamed that Kate died on the island. He dreamed that Kate had been given the death sentence and they ignored his protests and gave her the firing squad and they killed her and the baby.
He woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, wiping the tears out of his eyes. He wouldn't let any of that come true. There was too much at stake, for both of them.
The courtroom was madness. He and Hurley arrived early and they were hustled into the room, which was already packed with reporters, chatting and broadcasting. The moment the two men walked into the room, all attentions were turned on them and attempts were made to pull them to the side for an on-camera interview. Both Jack and Hurley declined, ignoring the reporters' questions and shouting. They took seats behind Kate's defense attorney, who made no attempt to acknowledge their presence. Both Jack and Hurley's attempts to hire a much better lawyer had been denied by the state. This was Kate's case, not theirs.
The time passed quickly, and Kate was soon brought in. She found Jack immediately and they locked eyes. He nodded at her, his eyes offering comfort.
It'll be okay. He mouthed to her. She nodded back, and placed her over her stomach, a secret that only they knew. Her pregnancy had been hidden from the general public, for fear that it would sway public opinion and make the jury reluctant to incarcerate an expectant mother.
The guards let her to the seat directly in front of Jack and stepped back, leaving her handcuffs firmly on. Jack leaned forward to whisper into her ear.
"Hey, you doing okay?"
She nodded, then nodded her head ever-so-lightly to the right, indicating her attorney. He understood, but he had one more pressing question.
"How's baby?"
"Moving," she whispered. "I can feel him."
"I wish I could—"
"All rise for the Honorable Judge Louis Raydonik."
Other people testified first, a bank manager; a scrawny man whom Kate had apparently briefly been marriage to; even Sam, Kate's stepfather, who nearly broke down on the stand. From his vantage point behind her, Jack saw tears streaming down Kate's cheeks. He wanted more than anything to touch her arm and tell her it was alright.
Hurley was next, and he detailed their life on the island. The defense attorney asked when Hurley knew Kate was a criminal.
"Well, like the second day on the island, Jack was checking out the marshal and I saw this piece of paper and I looked at it, and it was Kate's mugshot. I mean, it was pretty shocking, she didn't seem like the type of person who would be a criminal. So later I saw her go into the marshal's tent and I was coming out, and she had this gun tucked in the back of her pants. I mean, that's not the thing you want to see when you find out she's like a fugitive or something. But Jack seemed cool with her, like he trusted her already. And then later, when she was in the tent with the marshal, I told Jack about her having the gun, but she didn't shoot him."
"How did the marshal die?"
Hurley glanced quickly at Jack, as if looking for help. "Well, he pretty much died. I mean, he had this frickin' huge piece of shrapnel stuck in his side, and he wasn't at a hospital, so he didn't have much chance anyway. But Kate didn't kill him or get revenge on him even though she had a chance to."
"Thank you, Mr. Reyes. That will be all."
"Did she ever tell you about her childhood sweetheart?"
Jack hesitated, glancing at Kate, who gave him an understanding nod. He sighed. "She came to me one day and said that I needed her to help get the marshal's gun case back from Sawyer—one of the survivors. He'd been trying to open it, and she told me there were guns in it. I got it, and we dug up the marshal's body and opened the case. She didn't want the guns or the ammo or the money. All she wanted was this little toy airplane. I didn't understand until she told me later. She already talked about that, and she told me she told him to get out of the car and he wouldn't. I wouldn't blame him, either. I wouldn't have left her like that."
"And where are the rest of your fellow survivors? Why didn't they come and testify?"
Jack shook his head. "I can't answer that. I don't know why they wouldn't come. I don't know if they were ashamed of her or why they wouldn't come. All I know—" Here, Jack turned his attention to the TV camera that was focusing on him. He knew that even though they weren't there, the others were undoubtedly watching "—is that they betrayed her. She's never been anything but good to them, all of them,and they betrayed her. She delivered their babies and they spit in her face. She helped me give them medical treatment and they poured salt in her wounds. She helped them when they needed her the most, and they abandoned her."
"Thank you, Dr. Shephard. No more questions, Your Honor."
Kate's attorney asked Jack a few questions, mostly pushing for him to give his side of the story. His final question
"You are Ms. Austen's fiancée, am I correct?"
The murmuring began, and the judge had to bang his gavel to restore order. Jack nodded.
"Yes, we're engaged."
"And why would a man such as yourself, a well-paid, blue-blood doctor, fall in love with a farm girl turned fugitive?"
"I don't know. First day on the island, she sewed my back up because I couldn't reach it. I was a stranger and she helped me. She'd never been anything but eager to help. She was always the one running off on our dangerous treks through the jungle, picking fruit for us to eat, helping people with their problems. Something she did things that made me mad, but she always made me smile. I guess that's why I love her. She's good."
"So you don't think she committed these crimes?"
"No, I never said that. I think she committed them within reason. She's not a bad person. She's not a—" And he found he couldn't go on, because the tears were already running down his face, and though he was still vaguely aware of the sea of faces staring at him, he found that he didn't care.
They asked Kate things that Jack had heard many times before. About her childhood, about her mother, about Wayne, about Sam, about Tom. She trembled when she recounted the number of times Wayne had hit her or her mother, and the day she found out that Wayne was her biological father. She spoke about the island and talked about Jack. He saw the way her eyes lit up for once, when she mentioned him and how he had kept her sane. Some of the women in the audience had begun to cry softly
The air left the room when the verdict was read: fifteen years, with the possibility of parole after five, provided good behavior and improvement. She'd have to undergo psychological evaluation and no visitors for a year. That last part broke him, and it hit her like a ton of bricks, as she slumped in her seat, defeated. He thought about the baby—she was still barely showing, even with four months to go, and he wondered would he even be allowed in the room when his child was born?
They wouldn't let him speak with her after the trial. The verdict was firm and final and he let Hurley drive the car home while he sat in the passenger seat, unable to get that last look out of his mind. Helplessness, hopelessness. He punched a hole in the wall of the living room when they got back to the house, angry and frustrated. Hurley put a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some comfort and Jack heaved with a sob.
"It's okay, man. Let it out, it'll do you some good."
The phone rang then, and Hurley answered it. His voice dropped to a angry whisper, and Jack almost laughed to hear that tone from Hurley.
"It's Charlie," Hurley informed him.
"I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to any of them. Tell them I said to fuck off."
Hurley repeated the message and waited a moment before saying, "Yeah, you should have. You and Claire owed it to both of them. After all they did for both of you."
Sayid called an hour later, and Sun after that. Jack let Hurley take the calls, too exhausted to yell anymore. Hurley cooked a small meal and urged Jack to eat. He picked at the pasta, not in the mood. The phone rang again and Hurley, once again, answered it.
"Dude—it's Sawyer."
"You think I want to talk to him? Tell him what you told everyone else."
"Yeah, but he really wants—"
"Hurley," Jack said warningly. "Don't."
When his mother called, and Sarah after, his messages to them were a little politer. Hurley explained he was a friend from the crash and that Jack had taken the verdict hard and was lying down. It wasn't a lie, as Hurley had pushed him up the stairs and into the bedroom.
"I'll come back and check on you, Jack. See if you're okay."
Jack sighed, hugging a pillow to his chest that should have been Kate's body. He wasn't okay. He would never be okay, not as long as Kate was trapped in a cold, dark, damp jail cell, instead of nestled safely in his arms, where she belonged.
