AN: As I am considering discontinuing my other fic, I will be dedicating a lot more time to this one. Huzzah! Expect more updates soon. ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.


Chapter 3


"Oh. Yes. Score!" Ino fist-pumped the smoky air as the summoned chunin finally left, leaving their now-useless scrolls on the wooden floor. "We've finished the second part, and we've got some down time before the rest of the exam. We rock." She slapped Chouji a high-five and turned to Shikamaru, who merely shoved his hands in his pockets and refused to participate.

"Aw, c'mon. It's a victory signal…sign…thingie. We've got down time, Shika. That means nap time for you, eating time for Chouji, and boy-watching time for me. Aren't you excited?"

"If you call down time 'Let's listen to Ino's Explainations' time, then yeah, I'm looking forward to it."

Ino frowned. "What, it's not like I'm an imposter or anything. I'm still me."

"I believe you," said Shikamaru. Ino smiled sweetly, but quickly dropped the smile as he continued. "No imposter could ever be as annoying and troublesome as you are."

"I'm going to go sit over there in that corner," said Chouji, "eat the rations I stole from Team Seven, and be treated like I'm not a part of this team until you're done arguing."

Shikamaru and Ino ignored him.

"You're the annoying one, Mr. I'm-Such-A-Genius-I-Can-Get-Away-With-Doing-Minimal-Work. I bet you're going to end up forfeiting later on just because whenever I try to get us to train seriously, you never try!"

"There's nothing wrong with a forfeit. Besides, if I quit, I'll never hear the end of it from everyone else." Shikamaru shrugged. "So troublesome."

"Oh, you'll quit all right," said Ino, snorting. "You'll lose to some girl because you're a masochist and you want her to beat you in every single way possible."

There was a choking sound from the corner of the room Chouji was occupying. Shikamaru and Ino ignored it.

Shikamaru blinked a brief flash of surprise before his eyelids lowered again. "That makes no sense. Troublesome woman."

"Troublesome, troublesome, troublesome! Have you ever heard of this thing called a thesaurus, you ignoramus?"

"You're not Ino."

Ino froze, her hands suspended in the air from where she had been waving them about in exasperation. She lowered her arms and spun around, giving Shikamaru a hard look. "Didn't we just go over this?"

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Our Ino has no idea what 'ignoramus' means. Nor does she know any medical justu, have advanced skills in strategy and tactics, or insult me for as long as you just did without complimenting herself. And don't try to tell me otherwise. My mom would never stop nagging me if Ino was training more than me by learning medical justu." He slunk back from her, closer to the exit and the corner where a slack-jawed Chouji sat, granola bar paused halfway in its journey to his open mouth.

Ino's thoughts raced as she smiled, bringing up her open palms in the universal sign of a person meaning no harm. "You're halfway right. I'm not Ino, but I am Ino."

"A parallel universe?" Shikamaru didn't move from his battle-ready stance. "Then what's happened to our Ino?"

"Parallel universe? I mean," Ino coughed, thanking Shikamaru's premature conclusion. "Parallel universe! No, I'm Ino."

"Answer the question."

"About a week and a half ago, before the Chunin Exams, I messed up a family technique and met my parallel self, who taught me medical justu, strategy, and humility. The end." Ino thought it was a brilliant lie, and gave herself a mental pat on the back.

"That doesn't make any sense," said Shikamaru.

"You don't make any sense," retorted Ino.

"Why didn't you tell us?" This time, Chouji wasn't ignored.

"Eh, we haven't been that close until this past week during the exam. Plus, would you really have believed me?"

The boys hesitated. Ino smirked. "I thought so."

Then she patted herself on the back, because really, she deserved more than a mental pat for all of that.

"So, down time?"

The exam finished, and the chunin hopefuls stood in lines listening to the Hokage speak. Ino fought back a yawn.

"Blah blah blah…nations…blah blah blah…fighting…blah blah blah,"droned the Hokage. Ino rolled her eyes. She was already a chunin, technically. The Will of Fire and her pride for her country was earned through the battles she had fought against bandits, thieves, thugs, other shinobi, Orochimaru's forces and the nuke-nin forces of the group Akatsuki that had been steady been becoming active after Naruto's return a month ago, not some super boring speech. Speaking of Naruto, her fellow blond ninja was supposed to have started elemental training with Kakashi the morning after their celebratory bar night. Ino absently wondered whether or not Naruto had shown up with a hangover to his training. She quickly dismissed it as a 'no' – Naruto and Chouji could drink any of their peers under the table.

Ino discreetly looked around the room, trying to find Naruto now that she was thinking of him. She was sure she had seen the unique color of Sakura's hair earlier…there she was! Pink hair, there's Sakura, blond, that was Naruto…black…not present?

Ino shook her head a few times. Where was Sasuke?

Later, as they trooped up the stairs and the first match began between a Sand team that hadn't made it through last time and one of Kabuto's teammates, Ino made her way over to Team Seven on the balcony.

"Hello, Sakura, Naruto, Hatake-sensei. Where's Sasuke?"

"Hey Ino." Sakura leaned on the railing, worry evident in her eyes. "Sasuke...couldn't make it. He's in the hospital right now."

"Medical reasons?" Ino frowned. "But he made it here, right? It's a team pass or fail."

"He did," said Sakura. "But then he…well…"

"He exploded," Naruto said bluntly.

Ino stared. In the distance, she could hear the announcer declaring the Sand genin the winner. A bird outside the window sang its cheerful song. On the edge of the forest, a snake hissed loudly as it brushed against the electric fence. A young child began to cry, realizing he had lost his teddy bear in the streets of Konoha. And somewhere, a few miles away, in a small room full of elite shinobi, a crazy madwoman watching surveillance cameras dropped the dango stick she had been chewing on, clattering as it hit the wooden floor.

"Goddammit," the woman yelled, and angrily shoved another piece of dango in her mouth.

Ino didn't register the sound of the dango stick dropping. She shook her head, dispelling the image of the one of the hottest genin in bits and pieces stuck to the walls of the Tower's summoning room. "I'm sorry. You lost me at the exploding part."

"Well," said Naruto, but this time he was the one being interrupted, eyes widening as he stared behind Ino. Before she could turn around or grab a kunai, Ino felt a warm hand wrapping around her collarbone and shoulder blade. She involuntarily tensed as Kakashi Hatake's voice began speaking right next to her ear.

"That's a story for another time, now, isn't it? Sasuke's chakra paths exploded after a build-up of poisoned chakra. It seems they were blocked by the work of a Hyuuga on behalf of a Yamanaka. Interesting, no?" His tone may have been mild, but the slight pressure Ino felt on the back of her spine and the honeyed words only served to remind her how dangerous the jounin elite really was. Kakashi raised his voice so that Naruto and Sakura could hear him. "So that's why you'll be joining Team Seven and Team Guy after the exams for lunch!" He finally released Ino and stepped away, his visible eye upturned in his version of a smile.

"God, you're one scary motherfucker," breathed Ino, and gave a small shudder when Kakashi's body language told her he took it was a compliment. It was obvious that this team get-together was to find out if the Hyuugas and Yamanakas were trying to dispose of the last Uchiha, something that Ino personally took offense to. Speaking of lunch, though… "If Chouji's going to be there, you'd better be paying. He hasn't eaten real food in days."

Sakura made a face. "I'm not helping pay for Naruto, either. He eats like a pig."

"Nuh-uh, do not, Sakura!"

"I object," said Ino, raising her hand. "I've got great table manners."

Naruto scowled and turned back to the matches, where Shino was fighting one of the Sound teammates.

Sakura pushed off the railing and smirked at her fellow kunoichi. "Oh? Here I thought all of the time you spent at the table was just you eating. Nice to know you've learned manners while gaining that weight."

"They're called curves, you flat-chest freak," sniped Ino. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Hayate slipping away to speak with her teammates and Asuma, and was reminded of her original purpose for seeking out Team Seven. "By the way, why are you and Naruto still here if Sasuke's chakra imploded? Aren't we having Preliminaries to get rid of the extras, i.e., you two?"

"Technically, Sasuke made it through to the Preliminaries, since he only broke down after Iruka-sensei left. So, we weren't disqualified as a team, only Sasuke was," Sakura said, twisting a finger through her new bangs. "I was looking forward to seeing him fight."

"It's a shame, isn't it? When he's fighting…it's so graceful," Ino said wistfully, thinking back to three years ago when she had last seen Sasuke fight.

Sakura nodded in agreement. "Like poetry in motion."

The two girls sighed in unison.

"Winner: Shino Aburame!"

Ino blinked, sliding up to Naruto and peering down at the floor below. Had it really been two matches already? Not interested in watching the third match, she turned back to Sakura.

"So, did you see Hyuuga?"

"Yes, I did, but I was a little more worried about Sasuke right then."

"Well, we need to find out if he and Tenten are together or not. I don't want to make a bitch move and step on someone else's territory."

"He seemed like a jerk."

"A hot jerk."

Ino grabbed her friend and spun her around to a position where Neji was in her direct line of view.

"Oh," said Sakura faintly. Ino thought it was because she was being reminded of his relative hotness.

"Yeah. Oh," said Ino. "Ooooh!"

"No need to mock me. I admit he's hot, but not as hot as Sasuke."

"You're right about that. I meant oh, I just realized what I'm here, in this reality."

Sakura's eyebrows furrowed together in concern. "You're here to annoy me and pant after every guy you see?"

"I'm here," declared Ino, "to protect and defend all of the hot, single, young men of Konoha!"

This time, it was Sakura's turn to roll her eyes. "You can't be serious."

"I'm as serious as I'll ever be."

"Hey! That's not why you're supposed to become a ninja! What about all of the other people in Konoha, huh? There's a lot more people than single guys around here, ya know!"

Aw, Ino mentally cooed. Naruto was being his normal, loud, naïve self. She gave him a wink.

"But what if you're one of the ones I have to protect? Still going to complain?" Naruto sputtered, and Ino grinned at her success. "Besides, it's not like I'm not going to fight for my country and village. We've got damn good genetics that are definitely worth fighting for."

"Would Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka please step down to the floor?"

Ino practically flew over the railing in her haste to begin the fight, landing lightly in a crouch. "Hurry up, slow-brain!"

Sakura, in a show of childishness, descended down the staircase in a sedate manner. Then again, thought Ino suddenly, maybe it was childish. Ino wasn't as smart as Shikamaru, but she was clever, and had a talent for reading people. At first glance, Sakura looked calm - anticipant, even - but Ino was trained to see the small twitch of the eyebrows, the fingers, half hidden in her dress,curling and uncurling. Sakura was just as nervous as she was the the first time the Preliminaries occurred.

A good person would encourage Sakura to buck up, to believe in herself, or try to antagonize her to a degree where she was so mad that the jitters of fighting her newfound friend and rival would be ignored. Unfortunately for Sakura, Ino was a good ninja, and that's a completely different thing altogether.

"Sakura, it's okay," she began. "I understand you're nervous. I'm a little nervous myself." She smiled a little and clenched her fists, head slightly bent. She heard a light cough above; clearly she wasn't fooling some of the more competent genin and the high-ranking shinobi, but that didn't matter. The only member of the audience that was important stood right in front of her. "I get it. We're friends. But you know, we're also rivals, especially here and now."

Sakura nodded, but Ino continued before the other girl could speak. "That is why," she said, hardening her gaze and shifting into her starting stance, "I acknowledge you, and although I sure you've got better chakra control than me, and have studied more medicinal justu than I've studied, practiced taijustu more than me, have learned a dozen more ninjustu than the five or six I have since the time we've left the academy, I'm still going to give it my all!"

Sakura's mouth worked open, and Ino could practically see the thoughts racing in her head. Mecinical justu? Sakura had never even thought about studying medicinal justu. And Ino knew that Sakura's ninjustu had always been weak. Ino mentally smirked.

"Okay, done with the talking? Ready – begin!"

As soon as the examiner finished the last syllable, Ino was in motion, flexing her chakra to leap boost her speed as she launched herself at Sakura, right hand tensed. Sakura, although startled by Ino's aggressive initiation, raised a hand and prepared to block the telegraphed punch to her head…

..and was promptly thrown to the ground, not having seen Ino's left-sided kick. She rolled, narrowly avoiding the rain of kunai, only to find herself pinned against the wall. She put her hands together, but Ino was practically on top of her, holding a sharp blade to her throat.

"Forfeit."

Sakura's eyes widened. Her fingers flew, faster than she ever thought she could, and Ino was left holding a log. Sakura leaned into the corners of the shadows, desperately trying to think of a plan to wear Ino out. Both of the girls' breathing was under control, but Sakura had broken into a light sweat, and Ino had not. In the background, she could hear Naruto yelling something, but she had to focus, she had to focus on the rival that held such high expectations for her that she could not meet and she didn't know ninjustu that well and Ino was looking up to her Ino was going to be disappointed INO WAS LOOKING UP TO HER-

"Mind Body Switch Technique."

With those words, Sakura could feel her eyelids drooping, her shoulders straightening, and a smirk forming.

Ino, thought Sakura furiously, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND.

However, Ino had years of practice against strong mental opponents, Sakura's determination was nowhere near strong enough to throw her out at the moment.

Ino raised Sakura's hand. "In respect to Ino's wonderful, gorgeous, well-kept hair," she said, gesturing to where Ino's body lay slumped against the wall. "I forfeit!"

No! I don't! wailed Sakura.

Hush, I just got another great idea. Ino thought back.

Sakura groaned, and redoubled her efforts of trying to eject Ino from her mind. It didn't matter. Ino gave Sakura control of her toes, and while Sakura wriggled them about, thinking she was winning, Ino used Sakura's voice again.

"Also, I swear, with all of you watching this preliminary exam as witness, that I will help my dear friend Ino in whatever quest she may undertake for the betterment of Konoha!"

Amidst the cheers of her fellow Konoha patriots, Ino canceled the technique and grabbed her ponytail. It was done. She had made it.

"I'm beautiful," she said, petting her long hair adoringly.

"Wait!" Sakura ran up to the examiner, who had reappeared in the middle of the floor when Ino had Sakura crying out her forfeit. "I don't forfeit - it doesn't count!"

"Kid," said the examiner, rubbing at the bags under his eyes, "the point is to make your opponent forfeit. The Yamanaka made you forfeit."

"No hard feelings, Sakura," said Ino. She popped open a travel case of leave-in conditioner she had found in a random bathroom in the Tower, and worked in the scentless lotion on her way to the staircase. "Beauty is pain, you know? It just doesn't always have to be your own pain."

"Winner: Ino Yamanaka!"


On the next issue of For Old Time's Sake: Ino goes to lunch with her teammates! And what? Why is that totally gross Kabuto creeping around!? Stick around and find out!