John blearily wakes up to his phone going off in an apparent string of rapid fire text messages. He flips it over and squints at the bright light to read the mass of words.

TG: so i thought i told you to come over again

TG: that wasnt just a suggestion

TG: i really mean it

TG: i need you

TG: i need you to come distract vantas so i can kick his ass at mario kart

TG: yet you are nowhere to be seen

TG: youre just sleeping off your terrible night shift

TG: okay its not that terrible i get some of my best work done at night under the influence of the witching hour though i really need a better lens to capture the moon ive seen some great shots but it jus

TG: t comes out as this little speck of white in the sky and not nearly as cool as he can see with our human eyes i wish i had a camera that was like a human eye or took the images directly from my eye my

TG: brain so i could frame the shot accurately and get the right lighting and shit because our eyes are like the most advanced lens and im too impatient to wait for technology to catch up with my fantasie

TG: s

TG: vantas says im getting off track again so just get over here

TG: well make dinner again

GT: what are you making?

TG: he lives hurrah

TG: if im cooking im making portobello pizza

TG: if vantas is cooking i think were having moroccan roasted veggie stew or something like that

TG: he has tonight off the lazy bum

GT: both sound pretty good.

GT: i'll be over in like fifteen minutes.

TG: sweet just come on in

John rolls himself out of bed and stumbles around his apartment getting ready. The can of soda he cracks open helps a bit, but fifteen minutes was still a bit of a stretch. He makes sure to pack a clean outfit for work in a small bag before heading out. It's only a little earlier than he usually wakes up for his day. Having a night shift really rearranges one's sleeping schedule.

It takes him five minutes longer than he promised to get to their apartment, but he's sure they'll forgive him. Though from the way he can hear the yelling through the door and down the hallway, maybe he should come back later... No, they can't be yelling at him yet and he doesn't quite want to miss more of Karkat's rantings. He turns the knob and pushes open the door.

Sure enough as Dave mentioned, they are playing Mario Kart. Though it seems to be a more bodily version that John is used to. He ends up picking up Vriska who is pawing at his legs for some attention and sitting on the side couch seat thing, not wanting to get involved just yet. Dave flashes him a smile to let him know his presence was welcomed just before Karkat slams into him, trying to derail him off the track. On the couch, not in the game. In the game, Dave is on the final straightaway and takes first place for the race, much to karkat's vocal displeasure. He finishes third.

Their tournament record comes up on the screen and the two roommates are tied for the first three races.

"Last one. Winner gets to-"

"Loser has to go make dinner."

"Fine, works for me, " Dave shrugs. John wonders what he was going to offer the winner, especially with the way he was looking at John before he got cut off. "So who are you cheering for, John?"

"I don't know. Both options sound healthier than I usually eat."

"Gotta have your vegetables if you want to grow as big and strong as I am. Though somehow Vantas never got the memo and he's just as short as ev-OOF!" He groans as Karkat pulls the elbow from his guts.

"Okay you douchefucking skyscraper, I'm going to own your shitty pink ass on the track so you can make me dinner and treat me like the king I am."

"I have a great ass. It just happens to be shitty because that's where shit comes from. Biology one oh one."

"Ew! Gross!" John chimes in as Karkat's face scrunches up in disgust.

"This princess is totally going to make your mushroom a smear on the track." Dave starts the next race. And it quickly turns into a similar body crashing event. John shouts encouragements for whoever is behind and laughs when their shenanigans cause on screen mayhem.

"Karkat! Now! Now!" John shouts at him to launch the red shell ahead just as Dave takes an important turn near the end. The combination of the attack plus leaping into his lap to knock his controller down is enough to make Dave lose control and drive off the end. He tries to retaliate, discarding his controller entirely to devote both hands to messing with Karkat much to John's amusement as Karkat gets bright red as he tries not to laugh at the tickling fingers. But the gambit works out and his character crosses the finish line in third place again, but it's a higher place than whatever Dave is going to get if he finishes at all at this point.

"I won! You snotdribbing sniveling stupid blithering clusterfucker didn't have a hopeless dickpimple's worth of a chance of winning. HA HA!"

John's nearly folded over in half laughing at Karkat's creative phrasing. "Wow, Dave, you got owned! Guess you're making dinner."

"I bet you think that you're just amazing at Mario Kart. I want to see you try to go up against Cheater McCheat." Dave tosses the controller at John as he gets up. John juggles the controller before catching it.

"Yeah... I don't really see you as much of a challenge after that fucking amazing display of prowess."

"Shut up. I wasn't ready."

"Are you ready to get your ass handed to you?" Karkat taunts as he resets the game.

"John, kick his lovely toadwart covered posterior for me!" Dave cheers for John from the kitchen.


Turns out, John thoroughly womps Karkat for the first tournament which has Karkat screaming beginner's luck and demanding a rematch. Dave is still in the kitchen so they go ahead. Karkat barely scrapes together a win. Dave joins in while the pizza is cooking and takes the next one. As they eat dinner they put on some YouTube videos that are Mario Kart inspired.

When they are about to get back into racing, Dave's phone goes off. He scrambles halfway over the back of the couch to answer it. John and Karkat catch each other staring at the presented ass and quickly turn away blushing.

"Strider's Mortuary, you stab 'em, we slab 'em. Some go to heaven, some go to hell-o there!" John snickers at the introduction. Karkat just rolls his eyes, used to his roommate's antics. "Rose! Oh hi sis, didn't know it was you. Uh huh. Yeah I remember her. Yup. Oh that'll be nice. And I suppose- Right. I have some company... Nah, Karkat can take care of him for me. Hey hey hey, don't start that. I don't bitch about your social life or how you have last minute runway shoots. Yes, I'll be there. Love you too darling sister. Just text me the place and I'll text you back an ETA. And if you end up killing anyone, please let me have their bones." He pulls the phone away from his face. "She hung up on me."

"Awww, how could anyone ever be that mean to you, Dave," Karkat mock sympathizes with him.

"I know right?" He slides back to the right side of the couch before flopping over Karkat's lap as his roommate flaps his arms ineffectually to get him off. "It's a struggle. But I'll manage and you get to manage John while I go off to work." He rolls off of Karkat and the couch and lands on his feet. He disappears into one of the side room to return moments later wearing a jacket, a beanie, shoes, and a camera bag slung over his chest. His phone chirps with a text, presumably with the location of his job. "Play nice kiddies and don't burn the apartment down." He waves as he heads out.

The slam of the door kinda leaves the apartment feeling a little empty, a little awkward. John smiles at Karkat. "Another round?"

"Sure, why the fuck not."


John's pretty sure there is something about this apartment that encourages makeouts as he now finds himself lip locked with the other inhabitant. They are sitting on the couch, twisted towards each other. The controllers are dropped somewhere else, completely forgotten as their characters sit idle in the middle of the screen. Karkat's hand is gripped in John's hair like he's afraid John is going to disappear into the ether. John holds his hip like Karkat's going to bolt.

Kissing Dave was an experience he'd never had before, but Karkat is something completely else. He's more teeth and shorter kisses instead of the long drawn out pace the other had. John loves both, He enjoys the contrast and couldn't say one is better than another. Not at all.

The attentions of the shorter brunette are so focused on John that he feels like he's under a spotlight. Those reddish brown eyes don't close all the way while kissing him, watching for his reactions like he's trying to figure John out, what John likes best. John is totally okay with this even if he is making happy noises towards almost everything Karkat is doing to him.

John's eyes stay close when they part for breath, both of them panting lightly. He's just basking in the feeling. Then he slowly opens his eyes to see Karkat's face just as blushed as his. He smiles softly.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, I fucked up."

Well that ends the mood pretty quickly. "Uh..."

"I'm sorry, it's not you. Well it is you but because you aren't him but that's not fucking fair to you and oh fuck this is such a fuck blistering mess."

"Karkat, calm down. Calm down, we just kissed."

"I know! Fuck. I'm not stupid. I mean, I am but I'm not." He curls up on the far end of the couch. "I'm freaking out, I'm sorry."

"Dude, it's okay. It's not like I'm about to run out the door."

"You probably should," Karkat offers derisively.

"Nope. Not until you tell me what's going on." He sits more squarely on the couch. "C'mon, I know I'm a new friend but this is what friends do, right?"

"No it's not but since I don't really have anyone else to go to... I'm in love with Dave," he spits out bluntly.

"Okay... But? I hear a but in there and it's not necessarily the good kind of but. Though Dave does have a good-"

"But he doesn't love me back. He can't love me back. I settle for this dumb one sided roommate relationship thing because it's the best it's going to get and it's enough."

"Then kissing me..."

"Was a mistake. I don't really want to drag you through the hell that is my romantic encounters. I've tried it before and it doesn't go well. I'm just not going to get over him. I've tried. So it's really not fair to you. So I can't do this. I hate to be cliche but it really isn't you, it's me." Karkat sighs heavily. "Feel free to leave at any point now."

"Nah, I think you're still one up on me at Mario Kart. It's time to get my revenge, weakling." He leans forward and grabs the controllers, tossing one to Karkat. Karkat stares at him. John shakes the controller at him. Karkat finally accepts.

When John's phone goes off for his shift, they are even for wins. John heads out after changing with a friendly hug and smile.