The Avengers binge-watched their movies and, by halfway through, there were pizza boxes and take-out cartons littered across the floor. In a sleep break, Wade and Peter, about to go on patrol, looked at the groups that had been made: Tony, Steve, Clint, and Natasha; Thor, Jane, Bruce, and Wanda; Sam, Scott, and Rhodey; and Darcy, Bucky, Pietro, and Carter; the young author being spooned by the Sokovian speedster.

"Wonder how Joel's holding up," Peter whispered as he and Wade suited up. "Hope he's not shooting at everyone who says the wrong thing."

"Yeah," Wade agreed. "To be honest, Petey, I miss him. Like a lot. The way he'll snipe back when I say something pervy. How he sets up the chance for me to do so." He leaned his unmasked head on Peter's shoulder. "I want him here, with us, not at some posh, fancy-schmancy superhero school." Wade's bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "I want his cuddles."

A flash of light and a high-pitched shriek from Wade later, Joel stood before them, hands on his hips and a smirk firmly in place. "Did the great Wade Wilson just admit he missed me?" In an instant, Wade rushed him and picked him up. "O-okay! I get it! You missed me! Put me down, Wade!"

"Eleven hours, sixteen minutes, and forty-two seconds without you is like a lifetime!" Wade held Joel to his chest. "Sweet child, don't leave us again."

Joel whined and struggled in Wade's grip, looking to Peter for help, but the brunet only smiled and remained where he stood. Traitor, he mouthed. "Wade, please, I came back because I need somewhere to hide out. I'm not going back to that place."

"Joel, did you blast someone you shouldn't have?" Peter came forward and unlatched Joel from Wade, eyeing the smaller man suspiciously. "You know you're supposed to—"

"Hey, he deserved to be blasted," Joel shot back. "He's a fucking douche."

Wade slid an arm around Joel. "Can I slice someone now? What's the asshole's name? Does he pose a serious threat?"

Joel was about to reply when he suddenly relived the feeling he'd had when Bobby touched him, shivering a little and suddenly finding himself curled into a ball on the bed. "Joel?" Peter rushed to his side and placed a comforting hand on his side. "Joel, did someone there try to—" A small whimper was all the answer they needed.

"Let me." Wade bent down and took both of Joel's hands, his mechanical one freezing cold. "Joely? This is stable, not crazy Wade talking. Nod if you understand." A slight head movement was what Wade accepted. "We've told you this time and time again. Don't you ever forget that Peter and I love you and would do whatever it took to keep you safe. Now, if you're comfortable, tell us the name of the fucker who tried to have his way with you?"

Joel exhaled and looked up at his boyfriends, eyes still brimming with tears. "Bobby Drake."


Bobby was outside, enjoying the good weather, alongside Scott, Emma, Raven, Hank, Johnny, and Peter. The latter was zipping around the grassy knoll, Scott trying to catch him, visor off.

"Hey, what'd you do to the new kid after Scott and I left?" Johnny asked, looking up from his compact mirror.

Peter sped over. "What new kid? There's a new kid? Where is he? What are his powers?"

Scott sighed heavily. "There's this twenty-one-year-old rooming with me. His parents sent him here to make him learn how to control his powers. From what I've seen so far, he can shoot energy blasts from his hands, the right of which is mechanical, and he can levitate both himself and others. But he's such a little shit, and I'm serious, he's tiny. Like five-foot-four."

"So you're pissy because someone finally stood up to you?" Raven asked, looking down from her spot in the branches. "Chill, Summers. No one's going to usurp your top student spot."

Scott was about to retort when Peter flew past them towards the building. The other six looked where he went and Scott groaned, seeing Joel sitting on the steps, head down in a book.

"Hi!" Peter bounced on his heels, hands behind his back. Joel looked up, eyebrow raised. Deeming the silver-haired boy a non-threat, he shut his book, The Turner Diaries, and put it aside.

"Yes?" Peter noticed that he sounded irritated and quickly stepped back. "Speak. I know you talk really fast. What do you want?"

"I— I'm Peter," he said, offering his hand. "Peter M—"

"What are you doing?" Scott demanded, coming over to them. "The guy's a fucking freak. Leave him to his—whatever he's doing."

"I'm a fucking freak?" Joel scoffed. "Look who's talking with his big glowing goggles." He grabbed his book and stood up. "It was nice meeting you, Peter. Always a pleasure, Scott." He turned and headed inside.

"I know you snuck out this morning! The Professor won't be happy to hear about it!" Scott called after him. Joel stopped and slowly turned, eyes wide. The other boy smirked and crooked a finger, motioning Joel back towards him.

"Don't tell him, please," he stuttered.

"If you tell me where you went, I won't tell anyone." Scott folded his arms over his chest, smug look growing wider as he looked down at the man.

Joel sighed and avoided Scott's gaze. "I went to visit my—my boyfriends."

"Boyfriends? As in plural? You're not only a fag but you're also a slut?" Joel's fists clenched. "Aw, is Joely boy getting mad?"

"Dude, that's not cool," Peter murmured from beside him. "So what if he's gay? It's not like it's a big deal."

"Shut up, Peter," Scott growled and Peter gave Joel a sympathetic look before speeding away. "So you're fucking two guys? What losers would even have someone like you?" Joel took several deep breaths before glaring up at Scott.

"You don't want to get on their bad side, Scott," Joel snapped. "They're going to fucking destroy you for messing with me."

Scott put his hands to his mouth in mock horror. "I'm so scared that Joel's boyfriends are going to hurt me. Oh God, what should I do?" He shoved Joel hard. "You need to learn your place, new kid. I'm going to show it to you." He pulled his fist back, but someone grabbed it from behind.

"Scott Summers, stop acting like a child." Joel looked around Scott to see a young blonde woman glaring at Scott. "Hi, I'm Emma." She gave Joel a small smile, which he returned. "Scott, leave the guy alone. He doesn't deserve to be subjected to your stupidity." To Joel, she said, "Come hang out with us. Scott will behave. Won't you, Scott?"

Sighing loudly, Scott shrugged. "Yeah, whatever." After Emma went back over to the others, he leaned towards Joel. "This isn't fucking over," he hissed.

"Behave yourself, Scotty." Joel reached up and ruffled his hair before running over to the group to avoid retaliation.


"It's a good thing, Wade," Peter was saying as they walked down an alley. "He'll come back happier and more in control. I know you want him around, but this is good for him." He slid an arm around Wade's middle and kissed him. "In the meantime, I'm not going anywhere." Peter stopped and jumped up, wrapping his legs around Wade's waist.

"Is a certain spider feeling kinky?" Wade raised an eyebrow and rolled up his mask to the nose. "Because Wade Junior is pretty excited right now."

Peter propelled himself forward, pushing Wade into the wall, kissing his lips with an air of intensity. "Super penis," he whispered, tugging gently on Wade's lower lip with his teeth.

"You know me too well," Wade moaned. "Let's go somewhere we won't be disturbed, although public sex does sound fun." He was silenced once more as Peter kissed him.

Isaac McDaniels was heading down the street, camera in hand and looking for a halfway decent story to blow out of proportion when he saw the activity in the alley. His downtrodden look turned gleeful and he ducked behind a dumpster to snap pictures of Deadpool and Spider-Man making out and clearly about to get it on.

"Holy shit, this is too good," he muttered to himself. "I can see it now. Secret Superhero Relationship Exposed by Professional Photographer." McDaniels was far from professional and the gossip tabloid he worked for was anything but reputable, but people still read their stuff and McDaniels' boss would be happy. "I'm so getting a promotion for this," he giggled like a schoolgirl.

"Fuck, Wade!" Peter put his hands on Wade's katanas. "Call me Spidey."

"Sp-Spidey!" Wade tossed his head back, unzipping his suit and using his gloved fingers to poke a hole into Spider-Man's suit. "I'll sew it up later, I promise."

Peter whined as Wade's fingers moved around inside him. "Teleport. Now. Wade, fucking teleport." The two disappeared, leaving a somewhat aroused McDaniels leaning against the wall.

"Oh, I fucking got it."


"Hold up! So Pietro dies at the end of this one?!" Wanda glared at Carter, who put his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, I didn't write the movie!" He said. "I just watch them! If anyone's to blame in my universe, it's Joss Whedon! But don't kill him. He's made too many good TV shows. He might make more."

Bruce tapped on Carter's shoulder. "So if he died in the movie, why is he right there?" He nodded to the blond man, who was sitting in Carter's lap.

"Because I don't like offing characters that I like," he explained. "Where I'm from, it's called canon divergence, like an alternate reality. Pietro lives because I'm rather fond of him." He ruffled Pietro's hair, who smiled happily. "Say, hypothetically, I didn't like one of you guys. I could easily take you out." He snapped his fingers. "Like that. But I love all of you, so I won't."

"What's the next one?" Scott asked from beside Tony.

"Yours." Scott fist-pumped as Carter removed the disc from its box and switched it with Age of Ultron. "We only have this and Wade's movie left, and I don't want to do that without him here. But maybe we can go for the older stuff. Who's in?" Everyone raised their hands. "And off we go." He pressed play.


A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated.