Titans-a-Wassailing

A Teen Titans Fan Fiction by Jacob McDonald


Humbug
Note: Edited some serious typos. Ignore repost if you're already read it.


Robin stepped into the main room of Titans Tower, whistling a merry tune and toting a box full of ornaments. As he deposited the box at the foot of the ten foot tree that was set up to the right of the TV, he wiped his brow, "Man, these boxes get heavier every year… we should start storing them somewhere other than the basement." He looked around for agreement, but found the room strangely empty.

Well, empty with the notable exception of Raven, who was floating in the corner, her nose in a book, ignoring him.

"Hmm." Robin glanced around, "Hey, Raven? Where is everyone? Star was supposed to help me with the lights on the tree, and Beast Boy never missed decorating."

Raven didn't reply, but pointed up and out the window she was next to. Robin walked over, opened the window and looked outside. Turning his head up, he sighed, "Oh jeez… Cy's trying to do the lights around the perimeter of the Tower again, isn't he?" He could see Starfire and Beast Boy flying around with strands of lights, and assumed Cyborg was on the roof, giving directions.

Raven nodded, still reading. As she reached over and picked up her tea from a table next to her, Robin frowned. She sipped the beverage, being careful to hold it away from her book as he closed the window and turned back to her. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to help with the lights on the tree?"

Raven read for a few more lines, marked her place with a finger and looked up at her team leader, "What?"

Robin frowned deeper, "Were you just completely ignoring me?"

Raven blinked, "Yes."

"Well, either something's wrong with you or that's a really good book then."

"I'm fine."

"Must be a good read, huh?"

"It's the third time I've read this book." She didn't seem phased by his line of questioning.

Robin sighed, "I know you don't believe in the Christian God, Raven, but the way we celebrate Christmas at the Tower doesn't have much of anything to do with religion. It's all about good will towards men and holiday cheer." He smiled a little, "Why don't you ever participate?"

Raven slowly closed her book, "Robin, when have you ever known me to be cheerful or have good will towards anyone?"

"Point." He shook his head, "I just wish you could at least try to see the season for what it is."

"I understand the concept."
"I don't really think you do."

"If I help you put the lights up will you drop it?"

Robin frowned even more deeply then before, "Raven…"

"I don't see why I have to be cheerful just because it's Christmas time."

Robin stared for a second, then an idea lit up his brain. "Alright, I've got it. Come with me."

"I'm reading."

"This is Titan business. The book can wait."

"Robin…"

"Just come on." And he walked away.

What choice did she have? Raven sat her book aside and followed. As Robin made it to the elevator, the doors opened. Before he could step on, the power blew out and all the lights and computers in the main room shut down. If it hadn't been mid-afternoon, the two of them would have been plunged into darkness.

A moment later, their communicators crackled with Cyborg's voice, "Uh… no worries, ya'll! I can fix it!"

Robin sighed again, "Maybe we should take the stairs."


"The mail room?" Raven asked as the two of them stopped outside a door. "Robin, what is this?"

The Titans got en enormous amount of mail. Sorting it had become such a problem that Cyborg had designed a system to scan the names of the party each letter was addressed to and place it in the appropriate stack. There was a general trey, then one for each Titan at the Tower. Miscellaneous mail was sorted into a bin.

As the two Titans walked in, they both immediately looked to the bins, even as the computer system was sorting a brand new, huge pile of mail. The treys looked dramatically different from one another. Robin's trey had a large pile of letters, mostly sealed with pink lipstick kisses and little hearts. He sorted them once a month and tossed the ones he didn't feel the need to respond to. Beast Boy's was far less full, as he made it a point to collect all the pictures that cute girls sent to him. Starfire answered her fan mail religiously, making it a point to attempt to write back to everyone who wrote to her. None of them knew where she found the time.

Cyborg's pile was small as well, but only because he was able to answer much of it while he was powered down. He simply had his computers make him dream of answering it, and when he woke up, freshly stacked responses were waiting for him. The only bin out of control was Raven's.

Letters had long ago ceased to fit into the bin and were overflowing to the floor, more by the second as the robotic arm sorting the mail dumped more letters on her stack. There had to be hundreds of envelopes, and she frowned at them in an irritated manner.

Robin motioned with one hand, "Your assignment will be to spread holiday cheer. You'll need some of you letters to do it."

"Robin, what is the point to all this?"

"To teach a lesson."

"What lesson?"
"Figuring that out is part of the lesson." He smiled at her, "Raven, every year the Titans are inundated with letters asking for holiday miracles. We can't answer them all, but the rest of the team tries to at least get a few of the important ones done."

"Like what?" Raven gave him a sarcastic look.

"Well, last year I acquired financial assistance for a large group of homeless people at a shelter, and now most of them are working and living in apartments and houses. All the money that was donated was in the name of the little boy that asked me to see if I could help."

"How sickeningly sweet." Raven rolled her eyes, "What's this all about?"

Robin glared at her, "Read some of the letters, Raven. See if any of it moves you to action. If you come back to me by this time in two days and you still don't feel in the Christmas spirit, I'll never ask you to participate ever again."

Raven thought about it for a second, "Fine. Go decorate your tree… I have some reading to do."

Robin nodded, then back out of the mail room. As he watched Raven grab a handful of recent envelopes and sit at a desk in the corner to read them, the doors shut. Smiling, Robin began to whistle his merry tune once more, and trooped off to the basement to grab another box of decorations.


Dear Raven,

All I want for Christmas is powers like yours, but my mom says I can't have any. How do I get some?

Love, Billy


Raven fed the page into a paper shredder, "Brat."
Dear Raven,

I was just wondering if you could use your mind powers to make this boy in my Chem class like me. He's really cute and I think I'm in love. So if you can, write back, okay?

A friend in need, Becky


Again, the page went into the paper shredder, "Doesn't know what she wants…"
My beautiful Raven,

Enclosed find a picture of my penis ring. Also note the size of my member. Please, if you wish for me to use this massive tool on you, simply come to my address and demand that you let me have my way with you… I promise you will not be disappointed…

Lustfully yours, Voltair


Raven shook her head as she turned the picture to the side and squinted at it, "Who names themselves after a 15th Century French poet?"
Dear Raven,

This is my Christmas list. My daddy says I can only have three things on it, but I think I deserve more. Can you see about getting me some of this stuff?

-Cheri


Raven fed all twenty pages into the shredder with a look of disgust.
Hey Raven,

It's been a long time since we've corresponded, but I figured the land dwellers holiday season was as good a time as any. We never got to finish our discussion on the similarities of Azrathian and Atlantian magic from our last letters, so I thought I'd open with some thoughts on the summoning process that we use for demons…


Raven tucked Aqualad's letter off to the side, and made a mental note to write him back before the night was over.
Deer Rayvn

OMG yur like sooooo cool. Yourr my favrit Titan and stuff I feel like we re BFFs or something so that's good right? Do you like boys or girls? My friend says girls but she's stupid. And-


"Insipid." Raven shook her head, "What ever happened to good prose?"
Dear Raven,

I'm a sixteen year old boy at Jump City Central High. I get picked on for enjoying reading and dying my hair black. No one understands me. They all think being goth is weird and evil. I know you don't think that way. Please, write me back so I know there's a friend out there that understands the things I'm going through. Please Raven… please…

Jack Cormichial


Sighing, Raven fed the document into the shredder, "Dear Jack; Go cry and get over it. Love, Raven."
Dear Raven,

My name is Cindy and I'm five years old. I live with my mommy at 534 Riverside Road. I really miss my daddy, but mommy says he's away on business right now. I haven't seen him in two years and mommy doesn't know when he'll be back. Can you please help me see my daddy, even for just a few seconds? You are my favorite Titan, so please can you help?

Love, Cindy


Raven stared at the letter for a good long time. With a sigh, she folded it and tucked it into her cloak. Standing up, she turned to the doors of the mailroom, "I guess this one is as good as any to check out…"
A cute little girl with her blond hair up in pigtails was scribbling on the sidewalk with chalk out in front of the old brownstone at 534 Riverside. She was drawing a picture of two big stick figures holding the hands of one small stick figure. As she started to add yellow hair to the small figure, a shadow fell over her. She looked up and her eyes grew wide.

Raven landed next to her with a billow of her cloak, and a silent nod. The little girl stared at her with huge blue eyes, her mouth hanging open a little. As the dark Titan let her cloak fall closed, she pushed her hood back off her head. Staring down at the little girl, she asked, "Are you Cindy?"

"You got my letter!" the little girl squealed and hurled herself forward. Raven staggered a little and let out a strangled noise of shock as the munchkin latched on to her legs and giggled, "Yay! Raven is going to help me!"

"Hey!" Raven waved her hands around, not quite sure what to do, "Stop that!"

"You're my favorite Titan, Raven!" Cindy giggled again.

Raven reached down and slowly pried the girl off of her, "Why would you like me?" she asked in a soft tone, "Isn't Robin cooler? Or Beast Boy more entertaining?"

Cindy just blinked at her for a second, as if she was confused. She tilted her head to the side and said, "I like you 'cuase you're the prettiest. And you have the coolest powers ever."

Raven stared back for a moment while she knelt in front of the girl, holding her at arms length. After a few seconds, she shook her head, "Where's your mommy, Cindy? I need to talk to her to see if I can go get your daddy for you."

"Cindy?" A voice called from the doorway of the brownstone. Raven looked over and saw a thin woman with long, straight blond hair and blue eyes looking about frantically. Raven stood up slowly so she wasn't blocking the woman's view any more.

"Here." She called out, and the woman caught sight of them. With a strangled cry she rushed down the steps of the building and ran over to them. She pulled Cindy away from Raven and pushed her towards the door of the house.

"Go inside Cindy, and wash up for dinner." She turned and glared at Raven.

"Aw! But I'm not done with my drawing yet! And Raven is here!"

"Miss Raven and I have to talk, Cindy. Go wash up."

"But Mommy-"

"Cindy Ann Hampton! Mommy said now!"

The little girl pouted, but walked towards the house anyway, "Okay. Bye, Raven!"

"Bye, Cindy." Raven waved, then turned back to the girl's mother as the little blond shut the door behind herself. The empath frowned, "I sense you're not happy to see me."

"You sense right." The woman scowled. "I helped her with the letter, but I never though you actually read them. Or that you'd actually come…"

Raven glared back, "Why wouldn't I?"

"I figured you had better things to do, like saving the world or something."

"Mrs. Hampton, it's Christmas time. We do what can."

"Well, go do good deeds somewhere else. We don't need you here."

"The little girl just wants to see her Daddy, Mrs. Hampton-"

"Stop calling me that. That's not my name anymore."

Raven paused, then nodded slowly, "Okay, I thought it was strange that her dad hadn't been home in two years, but I thought maybe he was just military or something. I'm starting to get a better idea of what's going on here."

"You want the truth? Fine. Mike decided that the only way he could support his family was by robbing a corner store. Or at least that's the story he gave me when I brought him the divorce papers to sign. He's been in jail for two years. Cindy can't handle that kind of truth right now. You will NOT tell her."

Raven narrowed her eyes, "Do you really think lying to her now is going to make it any less hard for her when you deem her old enough to know?"

"What would you know about it?" the woman turned her nose up and started to walk back towards the house, "What kind of parents let their child run around dressed like that anyway? And putting yourself in such danger…"

Raven glared at her retreating back and replied in a dead tone, "My parents are dead. I don't think they care."

The woman turned back to her, "Well I'm sorry. I hope things get better for you. Now go away and don't come back."

As Cindy's mother slammed the door of the house, Raven scowled. She was just trying to do a good deed, and she'd be damned if one angry mother was going to stand in her way of fulfilling a Christmas wish. "Standard prison sentence for small scale armed robbery is eighteen months…" she muttered to herself.


The sun was setting as Robin walked into the main living area of the Tower. The tree was decorated, Cyborg had managed to get the lights to work without blowing the Towers power grid, and he already had most of his shopping done for the year. The others were currently working on converting the volley ball court on the roof into an ice skating rink, and he was coming down to get a few mugs of hot chocolate to bring up to them.

Just before he was about to enter the kitchen area, he paused and looked over at the main computer. Raven was sitting in the chair in front of the main screen with her legs folded underneath herself, and a Santa hat flopped over on her head. She was glaring stubbornly at the screens she was going through and scowling while she was sipping on what looked like eggnog while she munched on sugar cookies decorated to look like Christmas trees and snowmen.

"Um…" Robin walked over and stood behind her, "Getting into the spirt of things, I see…" he was well and truly flabbergasted.

"I'm doing what you asked me to." Raven replied in an irritated tone and bit the head off a snowman. As she chewed she flipped to another screen.

Robin read what was on the monitor, "Prison release records?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm spreading holiday cheer to felons."

"Raven… if you're doing this to get back at me…"

"Oh, shut up Robin. I'm kidding. I'm working a case for a five year old."

"Ooookaaay…" Robin stepped away, "Whatever this is, just make sure it's safe for the kid."

"Like I'd let anything happen."

Robin paused as he turned to go back to the kitchen, "If you're looking for current addresses, you'll want to check the parole records in the rehabilitation section of the police mainframe. Login is 'redrobin88' and the pass is 'batarang.'"

Raven stopped her searching for a moment, then nodded without looking at him. She spoke quietly, but he heard her well enough, "Thank you."

Robin smiled and made his way to the kitchen.


It was half past eleven that night when an unshaven man wearing clothes that looked slept in stumbled out of a grimy looking bar down in the bowery. The wind cut at him and blew his rumpled clothes around his thin frame as a voice shouted from inside, "And don't come back 'till you've got the cash to pay yer damn tab, loser!"

As laughter floated out the closing door, the man turned bloodshot eyes up the street and started walking into the wind. He dragged his feet in a dejected manner and plodded slowly, but deliberately on.

He'd only made it a half a block when the wind died suddenly. The sudden change in weather made him look up at take notice of his surroundings. As he tried to figure out what was going on, the man let out a sigh.

His breath came out in a puff of frosty mist.

"The hell…?" he looked up at the sky. It had been almost sixty degrees just a moment before. Now he shivered in the chill night, and looked about in fear as the shadows grew longer and darker. The man backed up until his back was to the wall of the building he stood next to, and began to edge on up the street.

With a swirl of black and blue, Raven appeared in front of him. The man screamed and pitched over backwards as she glared from inside her hood with glowing white eyes. "Henry David Hampton." The dark girl stated, "I've been looking for you."

"What?" he shouted, kicking his feet and pushing himself back from her as she floated forward a little, "What do you want? I haven't done nothin' since my parole! I've been clean!"

"And drunk." Raven landed in front of him, " Mr. Hampton, what are you doing with your life?"

He stared at her for a moment, then looked around, "Is this some kind of joke?"

"No joke, Henry." Raven glared, "Just one of Santa's little helpers trying to grant a Christmas wish."

"What the hell are you babbling on about, Titan?"

Raven pushed her hood back and stared at him, her eyes no longer burning white, "Cindy misses her father, Henry. She wants to see him again."

"Cindy? My daughter?"

"Yes, your daughter. Who else would I be talking about?"

Henry looked away, "Sherry said I wasn't allowed to go near her."

"Custody was never decided in the divorce." Raven noted, "I looked it up. The issue was set aside pending your release from prison."

"Doesn't matter." Henry stood up and brushed himself off, "She's better off without me."

"Excuse me? Was that self pity I just heard?"

"No," Henry suddenly grew fierce, "That's the truth, Titan!" he began shouting, "What kind of father can I be to her, huh? I'm a drunk, a felon, and loser. I've got nothing! You hear me? NOTHING!"

Raven was a little shocked by his words, "Henry, the girl needs her father… you can't just-"

"Go to hell." Henry walked past her, "You want to grant Cindy a Christmas wish? Find her a new daddy."

As he walked away up the street, Raven stared after him, then down at the ground. "Hmm." She looked back at the Tower, "Well, I tried, Robin."


"What once was shall be undone!" The flames roared high into the sky and the massive read skinned demon spit his vile words down at the monks and pacifist citizens of Azarath. "My daughter WILL wield my authority over all life and death!

The fire blurred and faded and a dull grey room with walls and walls of book shelves surrounding a central table where an old woman sat lecturing came into focus. She spoke sternly, "You must remember to always keep control, child. You cannot hate. You cannot cry. But most of all, you cannot love. Love is the most powerful emotion, and once you begin to love, it traps you like a drug, and you never stop craving it. You cannot have friends. You cannot love anyone. Not even your own mother. Do not think of her as your mother, but simply Arella. She is nothing to you. Do you understand, child?"

A six year old Raven nodded, "Yes, Azar. I understand."


Raven jerked awake and sat up in her bed, gasping for air. She looked about wildly for a moment, then calmed herself when she realized she'd been dreaming. Glancing at her clock, she saw it was almost 2:30 in the morning.

The dream came back to her and she stared out her window at the city.

"Damnit." She growled, and swung her legs out of bed.


Henry David Hampton opened his refrigerator and shoved aside the rotting Chinese food to look in the back, "There's gotta be some beer in her somewhere…" he muttered. Finally finding a half full bottle in the back, he pulled it out and stood up, slamming the door. As he turned around to go back to the living room of his bug infested apartment and watch his half broken black and white TV, the ceiling above him became a pool of darkness.

Henry didn't even have time to scream before the tendrils of dark energy grabbed him and yanked him up into the portal.

Henry found himself staring at Raven, her powers holding him aloft. "What-"

"Don't talk." Raven pointed down and he looked to see nothing but a few clouds and the lights of Jump City below him, "We're hovering at around forty thousand feet and I don't want you to pass out." Her powers pulled him closer and she sneered in his face, "I thought about what you said, Henry, and I decided that if I'm going to find Cindy a new father, I should probably get rid of the old once first. Right?"

"Uh…"

"Glad we agree." Raven's powers let him go.

Henry screamed as he began to plummet towards the ground.


"So what'd you see?" Raven asked as she hovered next to Henry. He was seated on top of his apartment building, wrapped in a blanket from his bed. Raven had been kind enough to get it for him.

"What?"

"Most people, when faced with eminent death claim that they see their life flash before their eyes. I was just wondering what you saw." Raven stared at him intently for several minutes, but Henry didn't say anything. He just looked down at the street below. Raven sighed, "It's crap, isn't it? You don't see your life… the only thing you can think of is your biggest regrets… the stuff you could have done better, or done right." She reached out and touched his shoulder and he shuddered at the light contact, "You were in free fall for a good minute and a half, Henry, so I'm guessing you saw a lot." He nodded and Raven finally landed on the rooftop next to him. She sat down and stared off at the city lights uptown, "Tell me."

"I saw her… you know I did. She's my little angel… I just thought she'd be better off… I mean, look at me!"

"Henry…" Raven spoke softly, "I was never allowed to see my mother growing up because the monks who taught me to control my powers feared that love might break my concentration and send me into a world destroying rampage. My father is a demon. He raped my mother and forced his seed on her so that I could be created to destroy the world for him… I've always just been a tool for a monster that literally cannot feel anything but hate and anger." She turned her violet eyes to him and saw he was staring at her, "I never had parents to tell me how much they loved me, or how special I was to them… I know my mother loved me, but knowing that in hindsight is a poor substitute for the real thing. Cindy needs you, Henry." Raven looked away, "Don't let her grow up to be bitter and cold." The dark Titan looked up at the sky, "I have enough bitterness and coldness for the rest of the world as it is."

Raven stopped talking and the silence stretched into minutes. After a length of time when both of them were lost in their thoughts, Raven stood up, "I can't make you do anything you don't want to do, Henry. From here it's your choice. You'll have to do what you feel is best." She took to the air, "I have to get back to the Tower now… it's Christmas soon, after all." She looked back at him meaningfully, "I hope yours is a good one."

As she flew away, becoming smaller and smaller to his eyes, Henry began to cry. Just before she flew around a building and vanished from view, he whispered, "You have a good Christmas too… Raven."


Robin yawned hugely as he walked into the main room of Titans Tower. It was just past four in the morning, and he'd been woken from his slumber by a dream he couldn't remember. He scratched his side as he walked towards the kitchen for a glass of warm milk, wearing just grey sweatpants, a white t-shirt, and his mask. As he was about to turn into the kitchen, he saw for the second time in twenty four hours, Raven sitting off by herself in the main room.

This time her Santa hat was sitting next to her on the floor and she was floating in front of the windows with her legs crossed, contemplating the gray half-light that comes to the world in the early morning hours. Sensing something amiss, he walked over.

"Hey Raven. How'd your spreading of Christmas cheer go?" She replied with a non-committal 'hurmph' so he tried a different track, "Let me ask you this then… how did it make you feel?"

Raven was silent for a few moments, then turned her face to look at him, "I don't usually 'feel' at all. You know that. But this… good I guess. Like I made a real difference that wasn't beating up bad guys or stopping disasters."

"I'm sure you did great."

"I think I did… just… how do you know that what you did… that it was… good? Not like doing-a-good-deed-good, but like… Christmas-miracle-good?"

"I don't know Raven… it's hard to tell some times if you really accomplished the goal…"


Little Cindy Hampton was eating her Trix the next morning when the knock came at the door. She jumped out of her seat and ran to the hallway to see who it was as her Mommy opened the door.

"So what? We just have to live with the knowledge that we did a good deed?"

Henry Hampton looked like a new man as he stood on the threshold of the old brownstone, freshly shaved with clean clothes and a briefcase in his hand. His ex-wife was shocked and angry that he was standing there, but the excited squeal of his daughter made everything else not seem to matter so much.

"Well, Raven, sometimes you have to have faith."

"In what?"

"That when you hand someone a gift, they know what to do with it."

Sherry's heart melted a little as she watched her daughter sob on her father about how Raven the Titan had made her Christmas wish come true. She locked eyes with her ex-husband and nodded a little with a smile, "Why don't you come in for breakfast?" she said.

"I'd like that." He replied and stood up, carrying his daughter with him.


After several minutes of silence, Robin put a hand on Raven's shoulder, "Get some sleep Raven. The season is just beginning, and we have a lot of work to do yet."

She nodded as she landed, "Yeah." They parted ways, she going for the elevator, and he for the kitchen. She paused halfway through the room and looked back over at him, "Hey, Robin?"

"Yeah?" he looked back over at her as well.

"Thanks."

He smiled lightly, "Any time, Raven."

She smiled back, and continued on to the elevator. As she stepped in to it, she made a mental note to go through some more letters that afternoon when she woke up.