Chapter 2.0 The cutesy guy

It had been about ten days since Toki had stopped being a self-proclaimed 'demon' because he was tired of everyone associating him with children.

He was sitting on his bed with his knees up and his head slumped back against the wall, staring at the few model planes hanging from the ceiling. The Klokateers had done a remarkable job at putting everything in his room back the way it had been (their in-house scientists had developed five new specialty cleaning products for removing the blood stains). He'd been such a jerk to his band mates, to the Wish for Something Foundation, to that little dead girl and now he was hiding from all of them in shame. He rolled his head to the side when his phone bleeped a text at him.

It was from Pickles [Quit mopin and com drick wit me!]. It was misspelled and succinct as per his usual drunk texts. Toki sighed.

Pickles must have run out of other drinking buddies for the evening if he wanted to hang out with him, Toki thought. Not a bad idea to blackout. It might stop the dreams for tonight. he thought more coherently. He made his way down to the main room and found Pickles in the hot tub surrounded by the empty carcases of the beers he had devoured. There were a lot by normal people standards but for Pickles he was just getting started. Toki walked over to him sombrely with his hands in his pockets looking apologetic.

"Heys Pickle." He said announcing his presence.

Pickles turned slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were a little unfocused and his classic crooked smile accented his face. "Hey there kid! I haven't seen ya in dayz. It's about time ya come out o' yer room." Pickles waved a beer at him "Hop in an' have a few wit' me." Toki looked hesitantly at the water for a moment. Pickles looked at him with a big friendly smile "Come on, Please?".

Toki let out a small sigh and began to remove his clothes. They had all lived together for so long that none of them had any shame about being naked in front of one another, especially Toki who was positively ripped. He slipped into the hot tub up to his waist. He didn't feel like getting his hair wet and so tied it up with the hair elastic he happened to have around his wrist. He then submerged the rest of his torso, accepted the beer from Pickles, drank about a quarter in one gulp, and lay back with a huge sigh.

"So how ya doin' kid? Ya had us all thoughaly pissed off at ya for a while there. You feelin' any better yet?" Pickles had decided to just attack the elephant in the room instead of letting it trample their conversation. Toki remained silent and took another swig of his beer. "Don't wanna talk about it, huh? Well there's other stuff ta talk about." He paused for dramatic effect, "I suppose."

"I sorry Pickle. I's was all screwed up insides. I knows I'ms de youngests buts…." Toki actually had no idea where he was going with this and so just gave up "…I don'ts knows." He slid down a little further and rested his head on the edge of the tub. His bunched up hair stopped him from sliding any further down as he stared up into one of the high corners of the room.

"You know, Toki, bein' young ain't a crime. Hell! The shit I did as a youngster, shit, most of that was probably a crime. Yeah, it definitely was. But, you know, ya have ta make mistakes like that. Do you know what I'm sayin?"

Toki looked over at Pickles who was finishing the last of his beer. "I mean, I had people all 'round me tryin' ta tell me what I should be doing, heh, well, more so what I shouldn't be doin'. And if I had listened to all o' them fuckin' dildos then I wouldn't be where I am today. Ya know?"

Pickles twisted a little to grab a pack of open cigarettes and a lighter. He lit two in his mouth and passed one to Toki without him asking for it, Pickles just considered it good manners. Toki accepted the cigarette and inhaled deeply while he listened to Pickles continue. He didn't feel like talking much himself but he was in the mood to listen.

"When I was growin' up, everyone always had somethin' ta say about how much I drank. Each and every motherdouchebag I met had a fuckin' opinion on it, and the drugs. They'd say things like, 'oh, your gunna ruin your future, whot about college?' when not one of those fuckers eve' thought I was gunna go anyway." Pickles took a drag of his cigarette and tapped the ash off in the ashtray next to him.

"My high school music teacher, Mr. Gibson, he was cool tho'. An old school rocker that grew up in tha seventies 'n' eighties. He always used ta say how dugs today ain't what they used ta be, heh, an' that was a while ago now. I recon if it weren't for him, I wouldn't 'ave been able ta finish high school, not after that shit went down with my father." Pickles took a long swig of his beer to dampen the memories of his father. The silence that followed made Toki nervous.

"So how ams your teachers helpings you?" Toki asked, just to keep the suitably off topic conversation rolling.

"Oh, well the best way he knew how! By teachin' me music. He'd let me jus' hang out in tha music room an' play around on all the instruments 'n' shit. He'd talk ta me about the punk scene in England when he lived there. About tha Rock scene in L.A., shit like that. Heh, and he never once said shit about how drunk or fucked up I was in that room. I thought I was hidin' it real well or somthin' but I know better now. I dunno Toki, maybe he just knew because he'd been there, yer know?" He took a last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ashtray.

"Beens where?" Toki enquired, he was now actually interested in the story.

"You know, been like me at that age, or something. He just kinda knew that everything would be alright for me, eventually. That I should just be me and if that me was a dood that drank half a bottle o' whisky, snorted three lines o'coke an' then rocked out on stage, then so be it! Anyhoo, the point I'm tryin' ta make here is that you gotta fuck up to find yer way in life. If I'd o' done all the ''right'' things back then, then I'd o' never ended up in Dethklok. If it feels good then do it! You don't know where it'll take ya but you'll be happier getting' there." Pickles opened another beer.

"Yeahs but I's not a teensgager anymore, Pickle." Toki said huffily, trying to figure out how this was meant to be relevant to his situation anyway.

"I know that! You're like, what, Mid-twenties?"

"Twenties Three."

"God, you're still so young!"

"I's not dat young! Yous all treats me likes a kid most of de times."

"Dood! You act like a freaking kid most o' tha time!"

"So whats? I should go backs to beings über brutal?"

"FUCK NO! You were a fucking ASSHOLE!"

Toki sat up just so he could bow his head in embarrassment. Pickles held his hand to his forehead and sighed. He hadn't meant for it to come out like that.

"Look Toki, my point is, ya did somethin' stupid an' now ya grown from it but ya don't need ta grow up just yet 'cause there'll be more fukin' up later. Just be you. You get me?"

Toki looked up and blinked his sky blue, puppy-dog eyes at Pickles then scrunched up his features in thought before responding with "Nos."

"Arrg, I dunno what I'm even tryin' ta say anymore. Look, Just do what you like doin'. Donn't change tha way you are 'cause ya think ya have to. Just be regular old Toki."

"Whats? Da Cutesy guy whats everyone cans makes de fun ofs?" Toki said into his beer.

"Oh, fuck it! Arrh. Yeah, fine Toki! If that's how you wanna see it. Yeah, the cutsie guy. The one that we all like ta pal around and goof off with. The one that puts up wit' all our shit! The one that we all have ta look after all the time. Yeah, that one! So just stay our Toki a bit longer 'cause tha world'll fuck ya up and change ya later on anyway!" Pickles was a bit surprised at his own words and looked away from Toki, "So, yeah, just… do that then." He finished his beer and announced "I gutta go take a leak." Leaving Toki alone in the hot tub.

Toki lit up another cigarette and sat in the bubbling water in quiet contemplation. So even though he was an immature, cutesy, childish idiot, they still wanted him around. In addition to that, it was the immature, cutesy, childish idiot version of him that they liked the most. His musings were interrupted by the sound of the other band members entering the room. Toki looked over to see Nathan, Murderface and Skwisgaar carrying Dimmu Burger bags. Nathan spotted Toki in the hot tub.

"Oh, good, it's about fucking time. We got you your double cheeseburger with extra cheese and two orders of fries." He said to Toki in a completely casual tone. Toki was smiling broadly to himself as a tall shadow fell across the water. Skwisgaar had walked up behind him, gently placed the toe of his boot on Toki's hair and crouched down next to him.

"What ams you so smilings about?" he asked the younger man. Not because he was interested but because it would activate the boot-on-hair trap that he had constructed.

"Heys!" Toki exclaimed when he realised he was trapped by the swede. Skwisgaar plucked the cigarette out of Toki's hand and stood up without releasing him. Toki glared up at him from the tub (it was like watching a tortoise on its back).

"Cigarettes ams nots for babys like you." He explained as he brought it to his lips. He stepped off Toki's hair and walked back towards the others. Toki spun around and pulled himself half out of the water with his palms on the floor. His natural reaction to pretty much anything Skwisgaar did to him was indignant irritation however Pickles's conversation was still fresh in his mind. So instead of grabbing the swede by the ankle and trying to drown him in the hot tub he called out after him.

"Well den if I ams a babys den I ams your baby and you ams stuck with me!" He said in his best argumentative voice.

Pickles had joined the others and chuckled in time with Nathan at Toki's outburst. Murderface just sigh and groaned at it. Skwisgaar turned back around and considered Toki, raising one eyebrow at him. He then exhaled smoke through his nostrils like a dragon in thought. A corner of Skwisgaar's perpetual pout twisted upward as he looked down at an undignified Toki hovering half out of the water.

"Pfft, if yous says so, baby." He said as he turned back towards the others. Toki smiled behind Skwisgaar's back as he walked away.

"Scheriously! Do you two realisch how fucked up you sound? Weird assch Europeansch, geesch!" Murderface remarked. "Schpeaking of schuch, there'sch a Kitschen Calamities marathon on tonight. Two scheasons back to back."

"Is that that show were there's that real dick English chef that fucking screams at people?" Nathan asked conversationally.

"Yea' tha one wit' tha stoopid accent?" Pickles asked. The poetic irony of this sentence lost to him.

"Yeah, that'sch the one." Murderface confirmed.

"Dood! I heard that he, like, berated some guy so hard that he killed himself by burning down his own rest'urant but, like, he was still inside it." Pickles slurred.

"Wow. That's pretty fucking brutal." Nathan commented, "Yeah let's watch that. Toki, hurry up and get over here. Your food's getting cold."

Toki climbed out of the hot tub, dried himself off and threw on his jeans to join the others. He smiled all through dinner. This was his role in the band, he thought, his role was the cute little brother. Someone to pal around with and look out for and doing that made the older brothers happy in their own way. He could live with that, for now.