Notes: I'm getting to Use the Man. This is for Dar, because... Hi! This was inspired by my sister Dawn demanding that Marik have a new pet.

QT Reload 3

XxX At Seto's house. XxX

Marik: What's that smell?

Bakura: You mean sound.

Marik: The one with the noises. And ears. Sound?

Bakura: It's Ryou. He's learning to play Seto's piano.

Marik: He's not very good at it.

Bakura: Frankensnakie has been gnawing on his arm for about thirty-six hours.

Marik: Yum. That reminds me, I need a new pet. Also, I'm hungry.

Bakura: What happened to Frogula? Did you get bored with watching him screech across rooms and latch onto strangers' necks?

Marik: No, that never gets old.

Bakura: Then what's wrong with him?

Marik: He's dead.

Bakura: Sucks. Who did it?

Marik: The French. So, will you make me a new pet? Malik says I have the creativity of a piece of toast. And Seto doesn't let me in the kitchen anymore.

Bakura: No. I have better things to do, the almighty Tomb Robber does not create his art on demand, peasant.

Marik: Better things to do like what? Gnawing on Ryou's other arm and painting your nails black?

Bakura: ...No...

Marik: You are filled with lies. Make me a new pet or Frankensnakie gets it.

Bakura: Frankensnakie would own you all over Seto's shiny floor.

Marik: True, that thing's freakin' vicious. So make me a pet and I'll give you something.

Bakura: It had better be something good.

Marik: Garlic bread.

Bakura: ...Fine.

XxX Later, with Seto. XxX

Bakura: Your pet is ready.

Seto: Isn't that just a potato with a mouse face drawn on it in permanent marker?

Bakura: Er... no. It's...a...eh...Potatomouse.

Marik: Oh. My. Ra. I love it. Come, Potatomouse, you must meet your future love, Frankensnakie.

XxX Marik wanders off with his potato to torment Frankensnakie. XxX

Bakura: I don't think Frankensnakie will want to sleep with that.

Seto: If I were you I'd start worrying about what to tell him when it starts sprouting.

Bakura: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. As long as you keep buying more potatoes and my marker doesn't run out, we shouldn't have a problem.

XxX

Carrying on the proud tradition of crap endings.