Episode 2: MegaMan's Little Brother
Dr. Light is pulling an all-nighter in his lab.
Light: Time to watch Nick at Nite!
TV: Coming up next: Fatherhood! With one of our super elusive, special guest stars, the woman who played Clair on the Cosby Show!
Light:… I can't believe I'm saying this, but Nick at Nite has something bad on!
Light desperately flips through channels.
TV: (Family Guy theme song)
Light: Well, that's obviously a corny, family friendly show, no need to get one second past the intro. There's nothing on TV tonight! What am I going to do?
Two hours later:
Light: I'm so bored! What do normal people do at 2:00AM to kill the boredom? I'd ask MegaMan, but he's asleep.
An hour later:
Light: I guess I have no choice… I'll have to (gulp) work!
Light sets to work. The next morning:
MegaMan: Where's Dad? I didn't hear him yelling at the alarm clock today…
Light walks into the kitchen.
Light: MegaMan, I have an exciting announcement! Since you, my only son, are a complete disappointment…
ProtoMan: I can't even tell which of us should be more offended.
Light: There's going to be an addition to our family!
MegaMan: Are you getting married again?
Light: No, I can't, in response to the gay marriage controversy, our town has banned all inter-marriages, including inter-gender. Instead, you're going to have a little brother!
MegaMan: Didn't I already have one?
KI: Yes, and it was so bloody obvious that it should have been Axl, I've been kicking myself over that for months. So now I'm fixing that.
Light: Axl will be ready tonight, so go to school MegaMan.
MegaMan: It's Saturday, and the Fourth of July.
Light: GO!
MegaMan goes to the park to see his friends.
MegaMan: Hello everyone.
Roll: You're here, finally! We're bored, introduce a plot point!
MegaMan: I'm going to have a little brother.
Unknown: O RLY?
MegaMan: Yes, who was that?
An owl flies away.
Roll: Are you nervous?
MegaMan: No, not really.
Unknown: YA RLY!
An owl flies away.
Bass: Then it is our job as kids on a clichéd show to make you nervous! Ahem,
The sky goes dark. Lightning flashes. The undead rise and start wreaking havoc on the world, half the global population is lost.
Ceil: Think that was a little too much just to set the mood?
Bass: Nah. Anyway, no one will pay attention to you, you'll have to change batteries, and you'll get grounded half as much!
MegaMan: That doesn't sound so bad.
KI appears.
KI: That's not the really bad part. You see…
We see a montage of Cousin Oliver, Scrappy Doo, Olivia, Nicky and Alex, and Virtual Boy.
KI: As you can see, the rules are clear. Your little brother… WILL DOOM US ALL!
Unknown: NO WAI!
Act break.
Act 2:
MegaMan: You mean we'll be stuck with an annoying little kid for the rest of the show? Just like we were stuck all those other things that should have been permanent but disappeared at the end of the episode?
KI: EXACTLY like that!... Except it will stay this time.
MegaMan: NOOOOO!
MegaMan runs home.
MegaMan: Have to stop Dad, must change his mind before he finishes my brother!
Cut to the lab.
Light: Have to finish Axl, must finish him before Friends is on!
MegaMan runs into the lab.
MegaMan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MegaMan dives at Light in slow motion. This may not have been the best idea, since Light continues to work at normal speed and finishes Axl and watches Friends before MegaMan jumps into the space where Light originally was.
Light: Perfect timing MegaMan. You're just in time to meet your new born, infant, just as capable of speech as you, brother!
MegaMan: (cries)
Light: Yep, we have a new, permanent member of our family!
Axl: Hello MegaMan.
MegaMan: ARGH! What an annoying, scene stealing brat!
Axl:…
MegaMan: Well, I guess I'll have to get used to you.
It's the next day (Sunday July 5th). MegaMan gets up to go to school.
Light: Now this is Axl's first day, so I want you to try to involve him in whatever corny plot you get into.
MegaMan: Fine…
MegaMan and Axl go to school.
Bass: So that's your little brother?
Roll: He looks annoying.
ElecMan: Class, your assignment today/
Bass: Don't interrupt us!
ElecMan: Sorry.
Axl: I haven't done anything to annoy anyone.
Ceil: There he goes with the "I'm so cute, you should give me food and shelter like you're legally required to". The world doesn't revolve around you!
Axl: I just want to be treated like a person!
Bass: MegaMan, can you get it to stop talking?
MegaMan: Axl, go away. You're probably a jinx.
Axl: This isn't fair!
Roll: Life isn't fair.
Bass: PWNED!
Axl: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?
The bell rings.
ElecMan: Go to your next class.
MegaMan: Since when do we have more the one period?
The kids go to Overused Plots with ColdMan.
ColdMan: Today, we'll be discussing the "running away" cheesy show plot.
MegaMan: Axl, stop making noise, you're interrupting the class.
Axl: I WAS BREATHING!... Wait, I'm a robot, that was unnecessary noise. But regardless, I'm running away! It's clear no one wants me here!
Axl runs out the door.
ColdMan: Well, if you're through with your social conversations/
Bass: Be quiet!
ColdMan: Yes sir.
Act break.
Act 3:
We see Axl out in the cold, frozen plains of Siberia. He is walking against a bitter wind, and looks as though he has been traveling for months.
Axl: Maybe I should go to the other next door of the school.
Axl walks a few yards back to MegaMan Jr. High, and keeps walking until he reaches the depressing, crime filled, N-Gage ad ridden area on the other side of the school.
Cut to MegaMan and his friends at his house.
MegaMan: And then he just left Dad, maybe we forgot his birthday. Has it been a year since yesterday?
Light: Possibly, but I'm not going to search for him. Intervening every time your child is missing and possibly in mortal danger is just spoiling them.
Zero: Look/
MegaMan: Where have you been?
Zero: I've been saying things all day, you've just ignored me to such a great extent that the text didn't even show up! Anyway, Axl didn't do anything to us, you just assumed he would be an obnoxious new character because that's how it is on other shows!
MegaMan: Why shouldn't we? I mean, lots of kids shows have the principal of their school trying to literally kill them.
Zero: Look, Axl didn't do anything wrong, and you all…
Zero fades out again. No one is listening.
Zero: I guess I'll have to take matters into my own hands. I'll find Axl no matter how long I have to search!
Cut to Zero using his energy sword to slice through thick plant life in a tropical jungle:
Zero: Don't see Axl here, guess he didn't go behind the school.
Cut to Zero in the bad neighborhood Axl went to:
Zero: Axl! Axxxxxlllllll!
Timmy: Lassie! Lassssiiiieeee!
KI: Consistency! Cooonnnsistencyyyyy!
Zero finds Axl.
Axl: Go away.
Zero: Okay.
Five weeks later:
Zero walks up to Axl again.
Zero: Look, I know the characters on the show were jerks and never gave you a chance and that it makes you so angry you just want to strangle KI, but… just a second, I'll think of something soon…
Five weeks later:
Zero: But none of that matters. Yes, this universe makes no sense, but the people in it aren't really evil, well, Sigma is. And Wily. And Bass, and KI, and Tommy Tallarico, and Captain Planet, and…. Anyway, MegaMan and his friends aren't really evil, just really, really stupid.
Axl: But they're evil towards me! Just because they blindly follow clichés.
Zero: But there's something very important you have to understand: one of the clichés they follow is a lack of continuity. By the next episode, I think it's a Christmas special or something, no one will remember being mad at you, and you'll be a character who gets meaningless lines like Ceil.
Axl: That's all I've ever wanted!
And so Axl returns home.
Axl: I'm back!
Light: Who the gris are you?
Axl: They've already forgotten me…
MegaMan: I'm home!
Light: Who the gris are you?
And so Axl adapts to his new home. Stay tuned for the next MegaMan Jr. High Revolution!
