Warning: If you're a Byakuran fan, or you hate illogical ramblings, please press the awesome X button at the right hand corner of ur internet. Or backspace. Or blow up your comp =w=

Disclaimer: REBORN ISN'T MINE!


Camping trip

"LET'S"

"GO"

CAMPINGGGGGGGG!!!!!"

Byakuran screamed through the P.A. system of the Millefiore base. A random janitor cleaning the washroom promptly fainted and fell into the toilet bowl.


After much protests and Byakuran-proclaiming-I-am-boss, a bunch of Millefiore subordinates were hauled off for the camping trip by a triumphant Byakuran.

"This is stupid, Byakuran-sama! I'm not even part of the Millefiore anymore!" Irie protested weakly.

"Nonsense, child! Thy sins art forgiven!" Byakuran flung his arms in the air, causing their jeep to swerve dangerously along the dirt track, hitting a poor squirrel off a nearby tree.

"GAAAH KEEP YOU HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" the pack of Millefiore subordinates screamed.


"We've arrived, people!" Byakuran leapt out of the half-destroyed van. The rest of the gang oozed out, after nearly escaping death for a few dozen times in 3 hours. The first to emerge from the shambles of their vehicle was Glo Xinia, who fell face-flat on the ground, probably flattening his nose. Next came a groggy and pale Irie Shouichi, who squished poor Glo Xinia. Genkishi then stumbled out, tripping uncharacteristically on the duo, dragging Gamma as they fell. Finally, Iris emerged and sat on the heap of men with a sexy pose.

"Alright, let's find a great camping spot!" Byakuran announced, retrieving bags of utilities from the boot and throwing them at his subordinates.


An hour later

"This spot will be usable, Byakuran-sama." Genkishi commented, gesturing to the grassland before him.

"Oh well, sure! For all the places I've suggested all you say is 'it's inadequate', bla bla bla!" Iris mocked sarcastically.

"Bitch! You're not any bloody better!" Glo Xinia growled, as Gamma rolled his eyes.

"Hey, idiotic minions! How's this?" Byakuran sang from somewhere behind.

"We're not your idiotic minions!" they (excluding Genkishi, who was probably shouting internally anyway) shouted, spinning around to see the spot that Byakuran chose.

"SINCE WHEN IS GRASS PINK?"


Soon, they were setting up their tents on the pink (cough) grassland that had mysteriously appeared. Byakuran, being the great genius, had packed all utilities needed for the trip –or at least he claimed so.

Irie's eye was twitching in his patch of pink.

"Byakuran-sama! May I ask, why is my tent like THIS?" he gaped at his tent skin. There were designs of power rangers and superman all over it, with speech bubbles saying, "Eat me!"

"Awh, my little Shou-chan likes it! I'm so happy! I have such great tastes! Kyaa! Oh, Shou-chan is smiling! Awwwwhh!" Byakuran beamed, blocking out the angry rants of his 'Shou-chan'. At the sidelines, the rest who had set up their tents were LOL-ing at his plight.


"Now, as campers, we need an awesome fire, right?"

"RIGHTTTTTT!" Byakuran answered for himself.

"I want teamwork, people! Gamma and Genkishi, get firewood! Glo Xinia and Shou-chan are to stay here and do ballroom dancing. Iris, you're gonna make sexy poses on that rock covered by all the trees there!"

The subordinates sighed, obeying their boss's orders.


After some waiting, a pale-looking Genkishi and irritated Gamma shuffled back to base, carrying two pathetic sticks.

"Welcome back! Shou-chan is about to die from dancing!" Byakuran exclaimed, pointing to the half-dead Irie melting in a puddle.

"My greatest apologies, Byakuran-sama. We were dragging a ton of logs when -"Genkishi explained.

"When a bunch of unicorns swopped down and ate them all up!" Byakuran was enlightened, "It's ok! You're doing the world a favour! Unicorns love eating wood!"


"Bloody hell! There aren't any matchsticks!" Glo Xinia fumed, as they rummaged through the provided equipment. Byakuran then proclaimed that matches 'were not of mother nature' and attempted to start the fire by rubbing the two sticks together.

"Ne~ Shouldn't we do something? Boss has been at it for half an hour!" Iris whined. Irie frowned for a while, before forming a plan.

"Boss!" Glo Xinia walked up to Byakuran, with Iris by his side, conveniently turning behind and giving Irie the middle finger.

"DON'T TALK TO ME! I NEED CONCENTRATION! THE FIRE IS GOING TO START ANYTIME SOON!" came his reply, as Byakuran rubbed the two sticks at a pathetic speed.

"Erm…Oh, look! It's a floating koala bear behind!" Iris shouted, as Byakuran turned to look.

"Now!" Glo Xinia whispered. Iris struck a pose and aimed a flying kiss at the sticks in Byakuran's hand, as the sticks instantly combusted (probably screaming in horror).

"Hey! Where's the koala bear –OH LOOK! I STARTED THE FIRE!"


The group ate their lunch rather successfully, excluding the fact that Byakuran kept trying to stuff Irie into the fire. Re-energized, Byakuran then escorted them to the nearby river.

"It's time for skinny dip –I mean fishing! The equipment is in your backpacks, my dears!"

"…Byakuran-sama? May I enquire why is my rod made of chocolate?"

"OI! My rod says 'Contact with water will result in explosion'. What the bloody hell?"

"…wait till you see my rod. I really hate him."

"Byakuran-sama! My fish bait has superman on it again!"

"Awh~ mine has a lot of sexy men on it! Boss, you have such good tastes~"

And they didn't catch a single fish in 4 hours.


Much later

Once again, the Millefiore kidnap victims were in a pinch.

"I'm hungry~ And Irie, stop poking my ass!" Iris complained.

"I-I w-wasn't!" he turned red, waving his hands around.

"Shut up or that stupid boss will find us!" Gamma whispered fiercely and slapped a hand over the flustered Irie's mouth.

"What the hell should we do now?" Glo Xinia snarled as quietly as he could, huddled uncomfortably with the rest behind a bush, "It's freaking pathetic, really. We don't even have a bloody fire 'cus it's all smothered with melted marshmallows!"

From a distance, they cringed as they heard Byakuran calling their names in a horrible variation of accents.

"Alright, since we can't disobey him by running away, we have to convince him that camping is a bad idea." Gamma announced, sighing deeply.

"Yeah, man!"

"Glad you agree with me, Mary." Gamma nodded.

"Who the hell is Mary?" Glo Xinia jumped.

"I IS MARY!!!!!" the same voice bellowed, as a gigantic bear appeared in front of them.

"#$%*$#%!!!!"


"RUN!!!! BYAKURAN-SAMA! RUN! NO, DON'T STAND THERE YOU'LL GET EATEN BY MARY!!!" Irie screamed, as they scrambled around the forest, with a large, talking bear hot on their heels.

"DON'T RUN AWAY FROM MARY!!!!" the bear wailed.

"I know! Run in zigzag patterns!" Byakuran shouted happily, as he was being dragged along by Genkishi.

"Byakuran-sama, I believe that is for wild hogs." Genkishi commented, legs working in a great fury.

"…oh"

Meanwhile, Irie's genius mind was at work. How do we put Plan 'make-Byakuran-sama-think-camping-sucks' into action?

Ahah!

"Byakuran-sama! Mary is the erm…incarnation of the…Goddess of Camping! She attacks all campers in the forest! WE MUST LEAVE!" Irie shouted from behind.

Iris soon caught the drift. "Yeah, boss! The Goddess of Camping especially likes to eat your marshmallows and steal you sesame street videos and –"

"LOOK OUT!" Glo Xinia hollered as a cliff came into view, skidding dangerously to a halt.

"Aaaaah!" they all screamed, applying emergency brakes.

"Phew…"

"As I was saying, we have to leave immediately, boss! Or Goddess Mary will -" Iris could not finish her sentence as the 'Goddess Mary' emerged from the foliage and crashed into the Millefiore gang.

"ARRGGGGGG!" they yelped, as they were flung down the cliff.


Irie awoke abruptly from a horrible imitation Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend'. (1)

"Ok, ok, Iris! I'm awake! Stop singing! And ouch…my back hurts!" Irie groaned. He then recalled the previous night's happenings, spluttering incoherently.

"Shut up, dork! I found myself at that bush over there. It looks like the trees broke our fall, hn?" a rather disheveled Iris commented.

"Er, well, let's find our way out then." Irie slowly got onto his feet again.


Somwehere else, not far away

"Bloody hell!" Glo Xinia snapped, ignoring Genkishi's glare.

"I would appreciate it if you keep your mouth shut." He deadpanned, raising his sword slightly for a greater effect.

Soon, the duo started a heated debate on whether they should run away (Glo Xinia) or find Byakuran (obviously Genkishi).

"You're not even worthy of being Byakuran's servant."

"You gay eyebrow man!" (2)

"I shall eradicate you for the interest of Millefiore."

"Your mum cut your bloody hair!"

Soon enough, there were explosions in that area of the forest.


"Hello there, Gamma!" a voice came from above.

Gamma cracked open an eye, wincing as pain shot through his left arm.

"Well, good morning, Jane." Gamma sat up painfully, before staring into the belly of a ___ (inserts ridiculously high digit)-pound bear. Oh, no.

"I IS JANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


"Ne~ We've passed by this spot thrice!" Iris whined, plopping on a nearby rock. Their plan to ditch camping and escape was not working out too well after all.

"Shh! Do you hear something?" Irie frowned, straining his ears.

After some rustling of leaves, Gamma emerged, running for his life.

"DON'T RUN AWAY FROM JANE!!!" the huge bear squawked. The now-trio fled like scared chickens.


"GENKISHI! GLO XINIA! RUN!!!" Iris screamed as they caught sight of the two fighting.

"COME TO JANE!!!" Jane lunged at Irie, missing miserably and crashing into him. They snowballed into Iris and Gamma and soon the whole group of them was rolling down the hill.

"MAMA!!!"

Finally, they landed at the bottom, groaning and rubbing their sore whatever-body-parts. (Think straight)

"Hey, isn't that the dammit boss?" Gamma gaped at Byakuran who was lying on Mary.

"Byakuran-sama!" Genkishi went over and started shaking him.

"What? Where am I? Why is Mary underneath my butt?" Byakuran rubbed his eyes groggily.

Suddenly, he bolted upright, surveying his messy Millefiore subordinates and the two bears.

His eyes turned round as he glanced from one living thing to another.

"My gosh!" Byakuran proclaimed. "This camping trip is awesome! Let's extend it for another MONTH!"

And they all fainted.


(1) It's a pretty famous song!

(2) I'm sorry. Can't resist insulting Genkishi's fashion sense :X

A/N: The ending is stupid ._.

Thanks for reading and drop by a review please! Sorry if theres any OOC-ness apart from Byakuran :X and constructive comments are appreciated too.

By the way, from the previous chapter, i drew the King of Marshmallows! got bored of lessons and decided to slack off (shh don't tell my mum)

Here's the link if youre interested: alcoholictree (dot) deviantart (dot) com/art/King-of-Marshmallows-133336044