Kyoto was glowing in the yellow-gold of midday when we returned. It felt like a good omen. Merry was asleep again. No wonder the girl had all those strange powers: she spent so much of her time in a dream anyway. I let her rest her head on my shoulder and slipped into a half-doze myself. Her hand fell slack onto my thigh and stayed there. With every shift of the train it slid back and forth, almost as if she was caressing me.

By the time we arrived at Kyoto station I was squirming from frustration.

The train came to a stop. Merry woke up and with an apologetic smile took her hand away. "Are you okay, Renko? You seem awfully flushed."

All I could do was nod.

Neither of us were in the mood to rush straight back to the University so we went to Kiyomizudera instead. It was my idea. Partly I didn't want our impromptu holiday to end, but it was also because Zenkouji had been so austere with all its connections to Hell and suffering, and I thought it would be good for Merry to go somewhere a bit more cheerful. Normal girls would have gone to an amusement park, but for the Sealing Club Kiyomizudera was the perfect choice. It's a popular temple complex not far from central Kyoto, and kind of light-hearted with its myriad of tourist attractions. There was also a wonderful view of the city from the famous balcony there. I hadn't had a chance to visit since coming to Kyoto, and Merry, like most locals, hadn't been to it since she was a high school student.

"Did you try walking between the Love Stones?" I asked her as we walked through the main gate of the temple complex. I was referring to a famous set of stones set in the ground about six feet apart outside Jishu Shrine. The tradition was that if you could walk from one to the other with your eyes closed you'd end up with the partner of your heart's desire.

Merry blushed. "No."

I knew again that she was lying and smiled to myself, delighting in the secret. And yet I also felt a twinge of jealousy as I wondered about the person she'd been thinking of when she made the walk.

Had it been a boy or girl? Someone older or younger? They must have been beautiful and smart, I decided. That was definitely Merry's type.

The thought made me a little sad.

And yet I couldn't shake the cute picture of a teenaged Merry in her school uniform, her eyes squeezed closed, stepping nervously between the stones as all her friends shouted encouragement.

The image did nothing for my frustration.

The first thing we did was to go and buy some omomori. Merry bought one for protection from evil influences. I chose one for safety while travelling, since we'd been doing a lot of that lately and a little extra protection couldn't hurt. I'd never really believed in talismans, but after my vision at the onsen I'd begun to suspect that the Shinto gods were real: not in a supernatural sense, but rather that they were powerful extra-dimensional beings who had been involved in the creation of our own world.

It was a theory that warranted more investigation and Merry agreed with me. But even though she'd learned that those visions had been of the prehistoric underworld of Shinto rather than the ethical Hell of Buddhism, they still made her nervous. My reaction at my own vision had probably made things worse, I realised. I was still cursing myself for pulling her hands away so violently.

We took our time looking around the temple complex. There were couples everywhere, walking hand in hand. It was a real mecca for them. I knew I'd subconsciously brought us here as part of my little delusional fantasy, but in that glorious sunshine I didn't care. Did it matter if it was all a lie if it made me happy?

There was another reason I'd wanted to come to Kiyomizudera, but I couldn't do it with Merry around, so I made an excuse to go to the bathroom and ducked back to the place where we'd bought our omomori earlier.

The miko at the window was the one who'd served us. She was surprised to see me again. I guess people usually just buy whatever they want in one go.

"So which other one would you like this time?" she asked.

I was so embarrassed that I just pointed to the little red one with the character AI on it. A charm for luck in love.

I felt like such a little kid. But I was also gripped with anxiety that Merry might see me, so I quickly handed over my money and hid the charm in my skirt pocket, pushing it as far inside as I could. As I walked back to the main temple I could feel it pressing against my thigh. I traced it with delighted but guilty fingers.

I'd left Merry near the famous balcony of the main temple. The view of Kyoto really was amazing from here, the city rising up from behind the little pine forest that grew on the slope of the hill the temple had been built on.

I found her leaning up against the railing waiting for me. She was crying. When she noticed me approaching she turned away and rifled through her handbag until she found her handkerchief.

As she dabbed at her eyes I asked her what was wrong.

"I don't feel well," she said. "Do you remember that time on the shinkansen when we were passing under Mount Fuji? It feels just like that."

I realised then what an idiot I'd been. The balcony of the temple was, like Mount Fuji, a place of death. In the Edo period, many desperate people had jumped from it, not as intentional suicides, but because there was a tradition that if you survived the fall your heart's desire would be fulfilled.

"Let's go somewhere else," I said, taking her hand.

I had it in mind to get our photos taken with the statue of Okuninushi and his messenger-rabbit, but on the way to Jishu shrine we passed by the stones we'd talked about earlier.

Merry stopped me. "Hey Renko, do you want to give it a try?"

I shook my head. "It's just a silly superstition, isn't it?" I said it but didn't really mean it. I had to say something. All this talk of heart's desire had made me feel pretty fragile.

Merry seemed disappointed, both by my refusal to do it and how I'd said it. But it was largely forgotten when we reached the shrine proper and waited our turn to take a photograph. Okuninushi's little friend was as adorable as I'd expected: a rabbit standing on his hind legs and wielding the gohei of a Shinto priest. I was reminded of the lunar rabbits that had almost caught us on our adventure to the moon. He was a lot less scary than those guys had been.

"Do you know the story?" Merry asked me while we waited.

I shook my head. Like I said, Merry is the expert in Japanese folktales.

"Well," she said, "Okuninushi was travelling with some other gods when they came upon a rabbit moaning in pain. He'd been flayed alive because of a trick he'd pulled."

"Ouch," I said. "Wait, this story has a happy ending, right?"

Merry said nothing and just smiled. "The rabbit begged the gods for help, so they suggested that he bathe in the sea. Of course, the salt water just increased his agony. But Okuninushi, moved by kindness, took pity on the rabbit and told him to go roll himself on a pile of cattails. He did as the god said and was healed."

"Phew," I said. "And so ever since, rabbits have been fluffy all over."

"Yes," said Merry. "And the rabbit became Okuninushi's follower, carrying messages between lovers and making sure they reach their proper destination."

"Does every animal have a story like this?"

Merry nodded. "I think so."

"How about the okapi? How did he get his stripy legs and butt?"

Merry's smile was enigmatic. "Well, it is a secret, but do you want to hear it anyway?"

"Sure." I was intrigued by the suddenly mischievous look on her face.

"Well," she said. "The okapi might look innocent, but in fact he's a very lecherous creature. He caused a lot of trouble until the gods finally got sick of it and whipped his butt and legs. The marks of the whipping are the reason for his stripes."

I shook my head, laughing. "What sort of crimes, exactly?"

Merry blushed. "Unspeakable ones."

We stopped at a little tea house on the grounds of the temple for lunch. It wasn't really lunch - I don't think you can call anmitsu lunch, exactly, since it's just jelly and fruit and red bean paste and syrup - but it was perfect for two hungry girls. We had matcha as well, the bitterness matching it perfectly.

I made the obvious stupid pun and Merry laughed. She always laughed at my jokes, no matter how dumb they were.

"I guess we should go," I said, wishing the delusion could continue indefinitely.

As I was about to stand up, Merry's hand fell on mine. I saw embarrassment and the ghost of fear in her wide violet eyes.

"Renko, would you stay with me tonight?"

The thought of spending the night with her both thrilled and terrified me. There was no way I could refuse her.

That night after dinner, in the deep little bath in her apartment, I lay and stared at the steam rising up to the ceiling and remembered the mist that had filled Zenkouji. I wondered if Hell looked a bit like that. Was I going to end up there? It seemed pretty unlikely. I've never committed any major crimes I'm aware of. No murders or theft. Illegal downloading doesn't really count as theft, does it?

Why had Merry thought she was going to end up in Hell?

If there was a real Hell and she went there, I think I'd want to join her. I wouldn't mind it so much if she was with me. I guess you'd get used to it, like you get used to a hot bath.

An eternity with her.

I idly opened some of the face washes and shampoos. It's fun to do that when you're at someone else's place. There was one which was vanilla-scented. It was synthetic, of course, and only vaguely reminded me of Merry's fragrance, but I was suddenly gripped by a terrible pressure. I tried to distract myself by reciting string formulae over and over again in my head, but it was no use. One hand slid down between my legs, the other onto my chest. I felt the sting of guilt as I gave myself over to pleasure in the hot steaming water of the bath.

Merry. My best friend. I wondered what it would be like to make love to her. Was the real Merry as aggressive as the one I'd met in my dream? Would she be the one to take control of everything, push me down onto the bed, strip my clothes off me? There was no way she wasn't experienced. I bet she'd know exactly what to do. I'd let her do whatever she wanted. I just hoped I'd be able to make her feel good as well. Making love was instinctive, right? Even between two girls? It must be.

I was almost there when a polite knock sounded on the door, followed by a voice. "Renko, are you asleep in there?"

In her defence, I'd done that before, like a drunken salary man. It was a legitimate concerned. Every year several people die from drowning that way in Japan.

My hand flew from between my legs and I leaped out of the bath and into the towel I'd left on the washing machine.

Merry was standing just outside the door dressed in her bathrobe. Clutching the messy bundle of my clothes and underwear in my hands, I slipped past her, blushing, and fled to the bedroom where my pyjamas were waiting.

After she finished her shower we sat and watched TV on her sofa. Merry brought out the mandarins we'd picked up at a Fresco on the way back from the temple and she sat there peeling them and dividing up the segments. The graceful movement of her fingers intrigued me far more than whatever was on TV.

When she was done she leaned across and offered a segment to me. "Say 'ah'!"

I stared at her. I opened my mouth but there was no way I was going to say 'ah'.

She slipped a segment of mandarin into my mouth. I crushed it between my teeth, feeling the juice spill out, honey sweet. I imagined I could taste the ghost of her fingers on it.

Merry, full of mandarin, soon became sleepy, as she often does after eating. She rested her head on my shoulder but when she started to slip down I scooshed across the sofa and gently lowered her head onto my lap. She murmured but didn't wake up.

I lay there, watching the TV and seeing very little of it. Merry's hair was falling into her eyes so I brushed it back over her ears. Then I just left my hand there, stroking her hair. The show on TV was that panel one where the celebrities are attached to brain-scanners that display their emotions based on the videos they're shown, things like talking cats and people escaping from various dangerous predicaments.

I was just glad there wasn't anything like that around to show what I was feeling right now.

Eventually I got bored of watching manzai comedians and washed-up gravure actresses trying to crack jokes about everything, so I switched off the TV. My eyes had started to close as well. I decided we should probably go to sleep. Merry was groggy as I helped her into her bedroom.

Her stuffed okapi was sitting at the end of the bed. I offered him to her, but she shook her head.

"Put him on the chair," she murmured. "There's not enough space."

I was blushing hot as I placed the little guy in his place of exile and made him comfortable.

"Sorry," I whispered.

I switched off the lights and slipped into bed next to Merry. Her arms slid around my neck, her lips brushing my cheek.

"Thank you, Renko."

"That's okay," I said, not really knowing what she was talking about. I guess she was already half-asleep.

"For everything," she said, answering the question I hadn't asked.

It was sometime in the middle of the night and I was dreaming. It was a strange dream, filled with bizarre imagery and powerfully erotic. I was walking in a warm, steam-filled jungle amid tall trees. Their trunks were smooth and unblemished, the bark tinged pink in the light of the red moon hanging in the sky. They were also outrageously voluptuous in shape, gracefully curved and hollowed, with slender branches and roots. I stopped to look at one more closely. I couldn't resist reaching out and running my hands across its trunk, the bark soft and giving to the touch. Somehow my fingers slipped underneath it, encountering a warm and giving smoothness. The tree seemed to move into me and I slid my arms around it, embracing it. It pulled me closer, and for a moment it felt as though I was being drawn into the tree itself. There was a scent of mint and of vanilla and of the warm wetness of a rainforest.

I heard a moan.

I began to wake from the dream. The mistiness fled, the lunar redness replaced by the gentle silver of true moonlight. The scent of mint was rich on the heavy breath that was caressing my skin. It was coming from a beautiful face, its eyes closed, the curl of heavy black lashes lying upon the curve of porcelain cheekbones. Lips gently parted, the scent now mint, now vanilla.

It was no longer a tree I was embracing, but Merry.

I panicked, but a panic wholly centred in my mind. My body, somehow, remained motionless. When my heart's beating had slowed enough, I began to slide my arms from around her, painfully slowly, as if I was afraid her skin would burn me. The heat of her body, mere centimetres from my own skin, was a curvaceous ghost of warmth. She was still asleep, right? There's no way she could have noticed what I'd been...

My fingertips grazed her ribs under her nightdress. The lips near mine opened and a soft gasp escaped from them. I tasted vanilla again in her warm breath.

Somehow I managed to slide my hands out from under her nightdress without touching her again.

I turned over. For a while Merry didn't move and I decided she must be asleep. I squeezed my own eyes shut and had begun to drift back off to sleep when I heard the whisper of her hair sliding across her pillow as she turned over as well.

Merry's hands encircled my waist and I stiffened. She was still asleep, wasn't she? Sometimes I'd wake up with her arms around me, especially on nights when it was cold. Wasn't this just...?

Then her hands moved again, slipping up under my pyjama top. One slid onto my stomach, the other moving higher, fingertips fluttering over my ribs. My mind reeled at the excruciating combination of ticklishness and erotic tension.

She moved closer. Where the back of my pyjama top had ridden up I felt her nightdress slither over my bare skin, the soft pressure of her breasts press against my back. This time I gasped.

Her breath fluttered against the back of my neck. She was breathing heavily. She nestled against me, her hair falling across my ear and temple. I sensed her lips, hot and moist, hovering. Hesitating, but only for a moment, before pressing down against my skin.

It was electric. The delicious sensation, the softness of her lips, the moistness of her breath, the heat of her still-hidden tongue, ran skittering along the top of my spine. I felt a jolt of pleasurable pressure between my legs and bit my lip.

It had become impossible to act like I was still asleep.

Her hand rose higher, slipping over one of my breasts. She cupped it, squeezed gently, my nipple hardening against her palm. I exhaled explosively. I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breath the whole time. Merry's lips slipped down, following the curve of my neck and onto my shoulder. I felt her lips part, her mouth biting down with the gentlest of pressure from her teeth.

The hand on my stomach fell onto my hip and she eased the elastic waistband of my pyjamas down.

By this point I was soaking wet. It was so bad I could smell my own excitement. With a mammoth effort of will I reached back and took hold of Merry's hand. It froze. But I had no intention of stopping what was happening. I rolled over, my eyes still closed, her hand still grasped in mine. The scent of her breath intensified, her lips now less than an inch from my own. Our hands nestled between our two bodies, I guided hers back down to where it had been and moved my own across to her hip. Her nightdress had gotten bunched up around her middle and I immediately encountered skin and the textured material of her panties. Resting my palm against the curve of her lower stomach, I slipped my fingers under the waistband.

I had never done this with another girl before, but I knew what I liked and it wasn't long before I learned what Merry liked as well. Her lips brushing up against mine, our panting breath mixing, we melted together, neither saying a word, focussed on the painful, pleasurable dancing of each other's fingers.

I wanted it to last forever, but I was barely any time at all before I felt myself approaching that delicious spot I'd been disturbed from reaching all those hours ago. I was trembling, sick with need, an intensity I'd never felt when doing it by myself. Merry's scent, the darkness, the heaviness of her breathing, drove me forward. I gasped, almost there, but pulled myself away from the brink somehow.

I wanted to reach that place together with her.

I didn't have to worry. My panting seemed to excite her and she was soon emitting sharp little cries like an animal in pain. It was so adorable that I knew I couldn't hold out much longer. That tell-tale pressure had gripped me, almost unbearable, like when the ocean pulls away from a beach, its surging waters building up until a wave finally curls and breaks.

Merry's lips burrowed against my neck and I felt the sudden sharp sting of her teeth. Pleasure flooded over me then, all at once, and I cried out, trembling with an intensity of joy that drove every rational thought from my head. A heartbeat later Merry shuddered as well, the fingers of her free hand entwining in my hair as she clung to me.

After a long while we separated, collapsing onto our backs. Merry's hand found mine and we lay there, exhausted. I forgot my name, who I was, everything except that moment itself: the pleasure we had shared ebbing away, the fragrance and the sweat-slick heat of the one I loved lying beside me, her hand in my own.

I was an eternity before names meant anything to me again. It was another eternity before I found my voice.

"Merry?" I murmured.

There was no response. I turned my head and, with a courage I didn't realise I had, opened my eyes.

Merry wasn't moving. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted, and I heard the tell-tale heaviness of breath of someone fast asleep.

Sleep stole down on me as well, almost like a living thing, pressing on top of me. I fell back, closed my own eyes, and saw and thought nothing more.

When I woke the next morning I was alone in her bed. The okapi stared at me with sad eyes from the chair. I lay there, staring back, while the person who was Usami Renko struggled to remember who she was. At last I lifted my fingers to the tender spot on my neck and I began to grin. I leaped out from under the covers then immediately leaped back under them. I lay face down on her side of the bed, burying my face in her pillow. I wanted to laugh, cry, shout out, something, but my usual reticence stopped me. Instead I just splayed out my arms and feet, embracing the bed like a starfish, breathing in the gloriousness of her scent, all the while kicking my legs up and down.

I heard the clutter of cups in the apartment and got out of bed. I bopped the okapi on his nose as I passed him.

"Sorry, pal."

Merry's bathroom is right across from her bedroom. The door was open and there were shreds of steam still lurking inside. She must have taken a morning shower, unusual for her. But then I smelled myself and I realised I probably needed a shower as well. The scent was not just of me, though. It was of us. Mixed together, it drew me right back to our lovemaking during the night. I felt my cheeks grow hot and decided that a shower was probably a good idea.

Merry had her back to me as I entered the apartment's LDK still drying my hair.

"Renko?" Her voice floated over to me as if from far away. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes please," I said. I sat down at her little breakfast nook while Merry busied herself with the making of the coffee. She was already dressed and I felt a bit funny being still in my pyjamas. I was also excited. The warm nakedness of my body under the flannelette was distracting.

Even after the shower I could still smell her on me.

She was taking an awfully long time with the coffee. I got up and slipped my hands around her waist from behind. I hadn't seen her face since last night and I wanted to see it. I wanted to see her, and kiss her. Despite all we'd done last night, we hadn't even kissed yet. I wanted to rectify that as soon as I could.

Merry stiffened. She half-turned and smiled at me over her shoulder. "Sorry I'm taking so long. I'll just be a little longer."

I stepped back. I was being pushy, I realised.

Leaning back against the counter I watched her spoon coffee into the portafilter and tamp it down.

The silence was making me feel weird, so I said, "Merry. I... I just wanted to tell you I really enjoyed..." Embarrassment gripped me and I stumbled over my words. "Uh, last night."

She stopped tamping. "Oh?"

"Yeah," I replied. "It was... uh, it was incredible." Talking about this sort of thing was difficult, I realised. I was blushing hard.

Merry pressed the button on the coffee machine and turned towards me. A bright smile burst onto her face.

"Oh. Did you have a lovely dream?"

For a moment I just stared at her. Then a smile crept onto my face. She was joking, of course. Merry, that joker!

"Uh yeah, a dream."

Merry, still smiling, turned and went over to the fridge to get the milk out. As she gripped the handle I caught sight of her face suddenly reflected on the surface of the silver-coated door. All at once the smile slid away from it, like a guilty thing, replaced by an expression I'll never forget. I'll never forget it, but it's nearly impossible to describe what it was like. It was a mixture of things: embarrassment, pain, regret.

I guess the word horror sums it up well enough.

I only saw it for a split second. Then the door opened and the reflected face slid away and disappeared.

I don't think it registered right away. I leaned back against the counter. I've heard of people being stabbed during a mugging and walking home only to bleed to death in their beds, so shocked at the attack that they were unable to believe it had happened. It felt like that, I guess.

Merry turned to pour the milk into a jug and glanced at me. Despite the nervousness of the movement, there was a sweet smile on her face now. It was even worse, in a way, than the expression I'd seen reflected in the door of the fridge. It was like her usual smile, that smile that had always delighted me, but it was paper-thin now, a pretence, a mask.

I knew the truth, then, of what she'd said. Last night had been a dream. A lovely dream, but just a dream.

We would never be together.

As she turned back to foam the milk I slipped away into the bedroom. I wrestled myself into my clothes and walked back out through the living room to the genkan, where I scooped up my shoes, threw open the front door and stepped outside, barefoot.

"Renko?"

I didn't stop. I burst into a run. I sprinted down the corridor, paused at the doors to the elevator and then, thinking better of it, threw open the fire-escape. I heard another "Renko!", louder this time, as I jumped down the stairs two at a time.

I was streets away before I realised I still hadn't put my shoes on. My feet were filthy, but I put them on anyway. Every bit of me felt filthy, as filthy and numb as my feet were. I ran my hand through my hair. It was still wet.

My hat. I'd forgotten my hat.

The rest of that day was a nightmare, even worse than those days when Merry had been sick. I wandered the streets, occasionally stopping to stare at things dumbly: a video arcade, a bookshop, a playground with children playing in it. Cafés made me want to cry so I hurried past them, my eyes glued to the ground. When I finally noticed my feet were aching, I caught a train and let it take me back and forth through Kyoto. Stations passed me that I'd never seen before. Had I chosen a train to Osaka, or was..? Wait, no. There were those same stations I'd seen earlier.

Kyoto's skyline, as it slid past the windows across the aisle from me, was the thing that finally made me burst into tears. There were only a few other people in the carriage and they politely ignored me, staring at their books or at each other or out the window. I was left in a void all by myself, tears burning a path down both my cheeks.

It suited me fine. The world around me was just like those other worlds Merry had taken me to. It was there and I could see it, but it seemed unreal, wavering, an illusion. Maybe even a delusion.

I'd deluded myself. Like a fool I'd made the same mistake again, worse this time. What I'd done to Merry last night was not in the same league as holding her hand.

But she had caressed me as well. I remembered the gentle but eager touch of her fingers, the heat of her breath. Had she done it in her sleep? Had it been an involuntary thing? I'd heard of people making love to their partners while still asleep. I guess it happened to others, too... people who weren't partners.

Fingers traced the mark her teeth had left on my neck. Fresh tears spilled from my eyes. I was amazed at how much moisture there was in the human body. Where was it all coming from?

The look on her face. Horror. At me, at what she'd done with me. The look of someone who'd seen a monster. Or glimpsed Hell. I couldn't shake it.

I sat on the train, lost in a labyrinth of agony. The thoughts became a jumble, transmuted to a strange, undefined pain, as though it was a physical ache and not an emotional one.

I put my hand in my pocket. My phone wasn't there. It was still at Merry's apartment.

But there was something there. I took it out.

The love charm from Kiyomizudera,

I rested my chin on my chest. There were no more tears. I don't think there was enough moisture left in my body for them. There was only pain. It flowed over me in waves.

An eternity later I heard the station I'd been waiting for without realising it: Kiyomizu-Gojo. I wiped my face with my shawl and stumbled out of the train, out of the station into the streets.

They were quiet. The sky seemed strangely dark. A storm?

No, it was just late. I'd spent the whole day in my suffering and hadn't noticed the passing of time.

I started climbing the hill to the temple. It was the only place I could go. At the entrance I encountered a group of giggling maiko who were on their way out. It added to the unreality of the situation.

People were already leaving. The temple shut at six thirty usually. I slipped inside, trying to avoid the priests and the miko who were about to go home and slunk my way through the main temple complex.

"Uh... I forgot my phone," I murmured to a priest about to ask me something. My voice sounded strangled, dry, weird. There was no way I couldn't have been lying. He let me go, though. I felt his eyes burning into my back as I hurried away.

I slipped from pillar to pillar of the main temple until I reached the balcony. Everyone was gone now. I looked out at the skyline of Kyoto in the setting sun. It was burnished bronze, and I was back again with Merry on the maglev, returning home from Shinshuu.

The tears began again.

From behind my pillar I watched the colour and brightness go out of the world, felt it mirrored in myself.

Such a fool, such a fool.

I clutched the charm in my hand.

Darkness settled. There was no one walking around anymore. I felt it was safe to come out of hiding.

I stepped up to the railing. The lights had begun to flicker on across Kyoto, and it took on a fairyland strangeness. It suddenly looked no different than any of the strange lights and landscapes of Merry's Gensoukyou.

It was her place, wasn't it? Her beautiful, dangerous dreamland. I'd been a guest, for a little while. I'd been Merry's friend, for a little while; her lover, for a few moments. For just a few moments I'd had my dearest wish. And I hadn't even had to jump from this balcony and risk my life to get it. But losing it had...

The horror on her face.

I took the charm in my hand, wound the little string thong around a finger. I took off my shoes. It was easier with my feet bare, but it still took a lot of effort to pull myself up onto the railing. Somehow I managed it. I stood there, looking across over the embankment. There was some work going on down there - temples are always being renovated. Such ancient, immortal things, but endlessly being renewed, dying and being reborn. I raised my hand. I'd planned to toss the charm out across the empty expanse, to take my feelings for Merry with it. So foolishly romantic. But I lowered my hand again.

I looked below me. So this was the view that so many people had seen the moment before they threw themselves off: pine trees and shaded darkness. For some it was one of the last things they saw. I wondered how long it would take to reach the bottom. It had to hurt, right, when you hit the ground? Probably just for a second, though. Probably just for a second. Just for a second...